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Unsure about myself and a relationship
F/18
I am currently taking some martial arts classes with one of my best Friends. Usually I don't pay attention to how a person looks or even think about things like having a boyfriend. There are times however where I might find someone attractive. That happens with one of the boys in my classes. I'm usually very shy and not straight forward with guys I like, therefore I barely talk to him. I talked to him once where both I and my bestie talked to him. The next time I saw him, when my best friend and I came in, he went straight to say hello to my best friend, didn't even acknowledge me. I already have a lot of self-esteem problems, so that was the cherry on top of my iceberg. I felt so depressed afterwards it was sad really. Then in the last class I never talked to him but neither did my best friend because some blonde was talking to him - that's what my bff said. He doesn't seem like the womanizer or disrespectful type, which is one of the things I find attractive about him. My problem is that I don't know if I should try to... you know, get him to notice me as more tan a friend. If so... what the hell do I do, because I am totally clueless as to what a guy could find attractive in me. (Just in case, I'm pretty plain; dark long hair, dark eyes, skinny figure, fair skin... see?)
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You need to stop viewing yourself through a dirty mirror. Until you do that you will never be happy or see the true beauty that has been there the whole time. There's nothing plain about you. You're interesting and I'm sure you're fine psychically.
The only difference between you and your friend is how you feel about yourself. That's it. If you work with a counselor on this and build your self-image up you will do fine. You don't have anything less to give than anyone else to this guy. You may have even better qualities.
If you like him try talking to him about the one thing you have in common: martial arts. Ask him about how long he has been training, what you are studying etc. Ask him if he'd like another friend because you thought that he seemed like a nice guy.
See how he responds to that. You could go one step further and throw a mixer by going bowling etc and gauge if he has any interest in you from that. A guy that likes you will want to go and one that doesn't will come up with a variety of reasons not to. Don't fret it's him and not you.
You have no reason at all not to try.
There's a lot guys will find attractive in you and qualities you possess. Just think really hard and honestly about all your good points. People are attracted to that. They're also attracted to people who just be themselves and not care about anything else. You need to get to that place.
He may not have approached you and other guys may not have because they see you projecting an image of not being confident in yourself or too shy or not bothering with them.
As far as talking to any guy you'll succeed when you talk to them as you would any friend, family member etc, teacher, adult etc. etc. because conversing with them is exactly the same and should be natural not forced. Just talk to him and let things flow. You're too busy trying to make things unfold for yourself rather than letting it all come.
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I would wait on him, let him notice you
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Hi there! Boy do I know how it feels like when you like someone and you want them to notice you!
I was so very shy when it came to boys,because I didnt want to embarass myself or that the boy I liked didnt care much for me.
Now then,you are you,and you are who you are!!
This may require being bold.
Try practicing what you might say to him
(I still do this to this day)
I say that,because once you start feeling confident about what you are going to say to this young man,it wont seem like a big deal when you talk to him,and you will less shy and nervous!
Ask him when he gets to class about different things like
''Oh hi,hey I was so curious,how long have you been doing martial arts''?
If he responds try answering him,and then ask another question,try to get the ball rolling little bits at a time,so he can get to know you and see who he is missing out on!
Looks arent always everything! Just be yourself!!
Be blessed!
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