|
Sometimes I catch myself wanting a baby??
I'm female, only fifteen, but sometimes I catch myself wanting a child of my own. Sometimes it's random, like I'm just laying in bed thinking and the thought comes around, and sometimes it's because I see someone with a baby. But either way, I'm freaking out about it in my head and I can also feel it with my body, like an urge or a deep longing. Not for sex, but I can feel in my body the longing for a child that shares my DNA. Is this natural??
Also, it may be because my dad was kind of a crappy father figure, but when I picture myself with a child, it's always just me, no father in the picture or even any thoughts about a daddy. Any ideas on that?? Thank you in advance for your responses!! (:
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories?
This is actually pretty common. Little girls are given dolls and encouraged in this nurturing role from infancy throughout the formative years. Then all at once you are too old for dolls but that need to nurture is still there! There is nothing wrong with longing for motherhood someday as long as you keep it in perspective. You are only 15 so it is also natural that you do not see a partner in picture yet. You must be patient and all these things will eventually come to you in their own time. In the meantime you could find some babysitting jobs to give you an outlet for all these maternal feelings. Getting a pet that you would have to care for is another way to put these feelings to use in a constructive way. Once you are finished with your education and you meet that someone special you will then be ready to give a child the future it deserves! I'll bet you will be a great mom someday! Good luck to you!
]
You may also have a stronger tendency to nurturing traits than others, especially if girlfriends dont share the same thoughts about having babies.
My passions in life are spurred on by my two personality strengths, nurturing and creativity. My nurturing caused me to be a better mom than most and now grandmother age, I still love interacting with children. But I also love gardening, and nurturing comes out in the tending of young seedlings, weeding, replanting. My creativity comes out in the garden too, with crafts, singing, writing and I wouldn't be here on advicenators if not for my two passions that drive me.
Find other ways to allow your nurturing trait to flow in your life for now, other than having a baby. Your time will come one day, hopefully there will be a father that you have a healthy relationship with also. You can volunteer working in a church nursery, doing baby sitting, get into gardening at home and perhaps if you really develop the green thumb, offer garden planning services to neighbors and relatives.
I dont think having a bad father image is going to cause you to fixate on urges of having a baby. Having bad parents can go two ways, you become like them or if smart, you decide to do the opposite of what they did with you and you become better parents.
Take care for the future to find a man you truly have a very strong romantic chemistry with. After the newness of the relationship wears off in a month or two, then is when you'll really know how strong an attraction you have. You'll need this strong love and desire for him because after having a baby, too many women get too absorbed in the baby, never carving out time for the husband. A man left out like that will either want a divorce or go have affairs. It can happen as soon as with the first child or his patience wears out when he see's the same thing happening, a pattern, with the 2nd kid, and there you are left to be a single mom. Don't let having a bad dad keep you from having a good relationship with your someday mate first most, and the children will grow up secure having two parents that love each other.
]
You’re normal. It is your body playing tricks on your mind with the hormones of puberty. Your body, so to speak, is being programed to fulfill its natural roll which is the making of life. Only the female of species is capable of doing this. This programming plus a desire on your part to someday have children of your on is what is at play here.
You of course know you are too young to have children. That doesn't mean that alone at night in your bed you can't dream about it. I would say that would be natural for you. As for not seeing a father figure in your dreams; I wouldn't put too much stock into what you are seeing in your dreams. Your dreams are a manifestation of your present life. You talk about your dad in the past tense as if he is no longer in your life. This is probably why you do not see a father figure in your dreams.
It does not mean you will not meet a nice young man; marry and have a happy family. Just remember there is no reason that your life has to mimic you parents’ life. Know what you want from life, what you want in a husband and don't settle for anything less.
Remember something else as well. Good relationships start well above the waist with communication, not sex. Talk first and find out who the other person is you compatible in your likes and dislikes. Are your goals in life the same? Then talk about sex and find out if you are compatible there as well in you likes and dislikes. You do this before you enter into a sexual relationship so you know you can talk to each other and work problems out before you commit to a loving relationship and sex.
I know you didn't ask that question but if you want a good father figure for your children this is how you go about choosing a life mate.
]
More Questions: |