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Self-Esteem Around A Beautiful Friends


Question Posted Thursday September 11 2014, 11:37 pm

I have this gorgeous friend, who I found absolutely stunning. She's super tall like 5'11-6'0, blonde, exotic and beautiful.

My issue is struggling to be friends with her without feeling slightly resentful because I usually feel like crap when I'm around her. A lot of it has to do with the way people treat, just for the mere fact of her being good-looking. While I'm below average, and maybe average at best with make up on. And I got treated completely the opposite way on the mere fact on how I look.

People are instantly nice to her, and receptive to her. Like people will talk to her, and completely ignore me like I don't exist. Or hold the door for her, and walk through right after without bothering to hold it for me when I'm right behind it. Most of the time it's guys, but it's also girls as well.

She never really has to work for anything. Like when we do online assignments in school, she never really does any of the work, and waits till either I tell her to do it or until I give her the answers. Even in our group projects/assignments we had, I've done most of the work. While she usually does nothing. And I know if I did the same, people would throw a fit of not doing any group work. But when she does, people usually just let it go and think nothing of it.




[ Answer this question ]

Additional info, added Friday September 12 2014, 10:33 am:
I can't really blame them, because when I first met her I was the same way. I found her stunning, and wanted to be friends with her instantly.

And at the beginning of our friendship, I was like a little puppy following around and listening to whatever she wanted. And its something I've noticed when I'm around her and her other friends, is that she always gets the final say and the final word, and all her other friends listen to her. If she wants to do something, everyone will go and do it. She wants to eat at a specific place, than we will end up going to that place. She wants to sit, everyone sits. She wants to stand, everyone stands.


I have a few questions:

- How can I stop feeling like I'm ugly and worthless when I'm around her?

Feeling ugly and worthless is the biggest thing I've struggled with in my entire life. I've never fit in school, I've been bullied through the majority of my life, and called ugly and ignored, and been treated rudely by all kinds of people: peers in school, at work, and even just regular people out in the world, day to day.

I've felt so worthless and ugly for most of my life. That this summer, I actually got a nose job. I wanted to feel more beautiful, and look more beautiful. I'm still healing right now though, so it doesn't look quite as good as Im hoping it will look better.


- How can I learn to value myself as a person regardless of the way other people treat me?

It sounds easy when you read how-to's online. But what can I do exactly to learn to treasure myself and value myself regardless of how other people treat me. And what can I do in those situations to assert myself? Usually if I feel like I'm being ignored and left out,I excuse myself and I just leave the situation and go somewhere else.

And usually when shes around guys I always get the vibe that they are looking at me and thinking something along the lines of "wtf-are you doing here?"

Even my cousin has a big crush on her. And he is pretty rude to me around her, and is so sweet to her. He's always commenting on how terrible I look, and why I don't dress better and look like her instead of looking run down. Or commenting on my clothes, or shoes and how I have acne, and I should fix my make up and get some makeup tips from her and stuff. A part of it is him being mean, and I guess a part of him is just trying to act cool so he can impress her. Whoo knows :/

- How can I save our friendship?

She is a sweet person, albiet a little childish at times. How can I prevent the way I feel from ruining our friendship. I've been distancing myself from spending time with her, such as not sticking around her after our classes and stuff.


- And for the record, my friend is pretty stunningg. Here's a pic of her:

1) http://i660.photobucket.com/albums/uu325/SuperWOOMEN/IRL%20and%20School/10597429_786413254713728_638594086_n_zps520dba01.jpg

2)http://s660.photobucket.com/user/SuperWOOMEN/media/IRL%20and%20School/1392738_444531739000288_610516630_n_zps64ceb164.jpg.html?sort=3&o=0


The only good thing from this situation is that I know that the people that are my friends, truly like me for me instead of just on how I look like. My circle of friends is really small, I literally only have 1 person that I can call a true friend that has been there for me since Day 1.


.
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?

hotcutie12 answered Monday November 16 2015, 7:04 pm:
well be proud of yourself and also I would tell you to don't be her friend cause the problem is that she is using you and one day she will make a joke of you if you think she is nice and she respects you then be her friend still but if she treats you like crap or if she makes you feel like crap then stop being her friend that is all the advice I would give you

thanxs,
hotcutie12

[ hotcutie12's advice column | Ask hotcutie12 A Question ]


adviceman49 answered Friday September 12 2014, 9:31 am:
I have deleted my answer as I need to rethink what I said. I will get back to you. Please advise are both pictures of you or your girlfriend?

[ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]

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