NinjaNeer's advice column

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Q: does size really matter to girls?

It all depends on the girl... I have a friend who will dump a guy if he's not up to her expectations... but she's a very shallow person (and she knows it!). I on the other hand, prefer a more reasonable size, too big and it's really scary!

Q: First off, Im 13 years old girl and I play lacrosse. It requires alot of running and I have asthma. I dont have it very bad, but the inhaler seems to help. Anyways, im not very good at running. Its very annoying, because in this sport you must run long distances, and you have to run fast. Im not sure if its asthma or if its because im out of shape. Im not fat or anything, normal size, but im not very flexible and my personal fitness teacher said that if your not very flexible and you cant run a mile in under 11 min. that your out of shape. I took 15:30 on my mile and a BOYS average on flexibility. I am pretty good at sports though and I dont feel out of shape at all.

I'm moderate-severe asthmatic, and trust me, I know your pain! I've never been able to run well, but I have my black belt in karate! It doesn't mean you're out of shape if you can't run, and that's something that non-asthmatics don't understand :)

Q: Okay so theres this girl on my bus lets say her names Kayla. She is SO ANNOYING!!! I cant stand her! shes a real popular girl (I dont know why!) and she is so mean. She has never done anything to me, except just make me mad. anyways, theres another kid on the bus lets say his names greg and hes a grade younger than her. Noone really likes him on the bus except for the real shy people who dont stick up for anyone. I personally dont know him and he doesnt know me. Kayla says the meanest things to him, like that hes fat and ugly and makes fun of his friends and stuff. I can bearly take it because I feel so bad for him. All these kids pick on him and he has a hard time sticking up for himself because there are so many mean kids on my bus. Shes actually mean to everyone that doesnt wear "the latest and greatest fashion". She was mean to one of my good friends because she didnt like the smell of her hand sanitizer. HAND SANITIZER!!! She needs to grow up desperetly. I really want to stick up for these kids. She actually hit one of these kids one day. The worst part is, our bus driver doesnt even care.

could you help me think of something to say or do?!?

ACE

P.S i rate high

It's easy to deal with people like this, because they're usually really dumb :) I was always on the wrong end of girls like this all through elementary and high school, and here's how I dealt with them:
DO NOT get angry or passionate when arguing with them. It means they have the upper hand, they're getting what they want. Just be calm and logical, and explain what a dumbass they're being! I had one girl once make fun of me because I wore the same pants on a Friday and the following Monday: I turned the tables on her, and said "What, you keep a journal of the pants I wear?" And everyone made fun of her from then on. Just use your brain, not your heart, and come up with a great way to retaliate. Also, NEVER use physical violence, all it does is get you in trouble. So just stick up for your friends, make her look like an idiot, and don't hit anyone :)
Hope I was some help!

Q: i am 15 and i have never had a boyfriend or even been kissed. is this unusual? i think that i just intimatate guys too much and it makes them not what to ask me out. i dont know. so is this unusual..? and tips to get guys to ask me out would be greatly appreciated...

You know what? I was MISERABLE because I didn't get my first kiss till I was almost 18! But now guys have gotten past being scared by my strong personality and have learned to love it :) So keep it up! Don't change who you are just so some silly boy who doesn't know what he wants will like you.

Q: Is it true that guys don't really like hand jobs? And that everytime they get a girl to give them a handjob, they are really just looking for a way to convince the girl to give him a blow job? (if that makes sense)

Not at ALL true! I think it just depends on your skill level LOL. Like, the guy I'm dating now LOVES it, but he didn't like it before cuz the girls were too rough with him. Just try to take cues from his behaviour, see if he's liking what you're doing. Definitely try to vary your technique, and mind the stepchildren while you're at it :P

Q: how effective are sit ups?? well ima girl & i do around 50 a day & i definately feel it but i heard that they weren't that effective at all. any ideas??

thanks!!

Sit-ups are great for building a strong core and good endurance... they're a wonderful exercise! They won't give you a six-pack on their own, and I think that's where people get the idea that they're not effective. You need cardio to work off the layer of fat over top of those amazing muscles you've built up in order to really see the results... but you're on the right track ;)

Q: Okay. I'm a junior in high school and I'm graduating at the end of this year. I want to enter college in the Fall of 2006 and major in math and physics, those have always been areas that interest me. I have already applied to four different colleges, I'm working on scholarships as hard as I can, and I have two part-time jobs in addition to keeping up extracurriculars and 4 AP classes. I'm working as hard as I can this year because I really want to set myself up for college and living on my own.
Here's the problem: My mom has forbidden me to apply to any colleges, she wants me to go in the Fall of 2007 so that I can get in a full year of work, because she says I'm not mature enough. I have worked really, really hard at everything: I've kept up my chores, my job teaching piano, my job at the library, my schoolwork, and being in a musical, and she still won't let me. Now, normally I would think that working for a year to save up money for college is a great idea. But my majors are in math and physics, and a year is a long time to be away from calculus and quantum mechanics. I'm really afraid of losing the momentum, and of missing my chance to go for my goals.
My guidance counselor at school tells me to apply to every college I want to and not worry about my mom just yet...along with a score of other people, like my dad, my grandma, my boyfriend, and various other family friends. It's just, I'm really worried about this...like the fight that will ensue once I start hearing back from the colleges I applied to. I'm completely dedicated to going in the Fall of 2006...with or without my mom's consent, but I would really like it to be with.
Is there anything I can do to convince her I can handle it?
Sorry it's so long -
Nevaeh

Trust me, you don't want to wait. The chances of you going back to school after taking a year off are lower than if you go right from high school! I also agree with your theory that it's a long time to be away from physics and math. Try talking to your family and letting them know how important your education is to you. If they don't support you, just think about what it means to you to be going to school in the fall, and make a serious decision as to whether or not you can deal with the ensuing fights.

Q: At the begining of the year my biology honors teacher had us fill out a form about us. It asked what we wanted to be careerwise. I put that I wanted to be a journalist. The other day he read off what everyone wanted to be. The other kids wanted to be surgeons, and marine biologists..all really important things. When he got to my name he said "Journalist!....Good luck with that. She'll never get a job"

I was so embarassed! Everyone else had really important careers picked out and mine was so stupid. I'm not sure if I want to be a journalist anymore but now I have no idea what I want to do. I have to look at colleges next year and I have no clue what I want to major in. Can anyone help me?

I really hate when people do that. Obviously you can be a journalist if you really want to be... there are journalists out there, aren't there? Just because you're not getting into a science based career, it doesn't mean it's not important! And this is coming from an engineering student. I have friends studying Classical History and Political Science... but they're happy with what they're learning, and that's what is important.

Q: Hey everyone... i'm a senior in high school, and i'm most likely going to go to San Francisco State University next year. Any advice for college? Anything at all would be great.. Dorm rooms, the people in general in college, academics, distractions.. anything!! My major is going to be Nutrition. Thanks in advance =]

Congratulations! Well, to start off, I love living in residence, my roomie is amazing and we're best friends now, even though we didn't know each other in September! People seem to be a lot nicer here, it's easier to get in with people who share common interests and views with you. Class is a LOT harder, but it's in something you enjoy, so it's more fun too! And as for distractions, just try not to get TOO into the drinking/partying scene, cuz I know people who were Christmas Grads (aka failed out at Christmas) because of it. On the other hand, don't lock yourself up in your room! Get out, meet people, join clubs, and if your school has a "Frosh Week" like mine did, get involved in ALL the activities, even if they sound really dumb.

Q: OK i think this guy that I have been bffs with forever likes me. I wicked like him too. Only problem is, i could be wrong cus like, im fat. Hes cute too. I guess my question is .. does weight matter to everyone. And im a really big tomboy, i dont wear cute preppy clothes like all of my friends because i dont like things w/ a tight fit, im like a DD. Just please help !

I really don't like how you classify yourself as being "fat"! I used to think that way, always having been a little bit heavier, but now I look at myself compared to the girls at school, and I see myself as being more of a woman because I have kickass curves :) And yes, a lot of guys like the girls who aren't boneracks... and those who don't haven't grown up enough to realize that they don't want a little girl :)

Q: I'm a junior in highschool. I've taken Biology and Chemistry. I passed Bio with an 89 and I passed Chem with a 96. So next year I have to decide to take physics or bio 2. The physics teacher says there is a lot of math involved. And I'm a strong math student. But I talked to my sister and she said it was really hard(but she's not a strong math student). The physics teacher doesn't have tests in her class and hardly any homework. Then the bio teacher says that her class will better prepare you for college. She says that she helps us with studying and everything. But she said you will have to work your butt off for an A. The bio teacher said that we will have to take bio in college no matter what we want to major in(which I have no clue what I want to do) so I don't know if I should take bio and be more prepared or physics. Any advice?

I'm in Engineering at university... I ended up taking all three sciences in my last year of high school, but only chemistry and physics were required. Bio is a lot of fun, very interesting, but it's NOT required for everything. Try taking all three if you want a challenge :) And if you're interested in sciences and maths, definitely consider engineering!

Q: I am a dancer and i have developed so much muscle. My arms and shoulders are very muscular and every time people see me without a shirt on they go "are you a swimmer?" My thighs are also pretty muscular. Do guys mind this?

Any cool guy will think it's great that you have muscle :) I'm a black belt in karate, and all my guy friends think it's hilarious that I beat them at arm wrestling! Don't EVER give up your muscles for some boy who doesn't know what a real woman is ;)

Q: im 14/f my bf is 17. he is always talking about how he wants to marry me and how much he loves me. i love him. i know you will think im to young. im not to young to know love. alright. so he got me this necklace for christmas that has a heart on it that on the front our names are ingraved and on the back it says "7 or 8 more years..." theres a story behind it...but its about me and him getting married in 7 or 8 years. then for valentines day he got me a ring. he wants to get married in 4 or 5 years now.... and he calls me his wife. like when he intorduces me to his friends he callse me his wife. and even to his mom he says hes going to see his wife and stuff. and whenever i see a baby i want one of my own.... is that normal? to want to have his kid? me and him have never had sex or anything. were really jsut good kids in love. so is that bad/wrong/weird/normal?

I kind of have to differ in opinions with everyone else here! Young love is awesome, I've experienced my fair share of it. But sometimes you have to look past that first love, think about what you're going to be doing in 8 years... Like, for instance, even though I loved my ex-bf, I broke up with him because we had very little in common. It's definitely not bad/weird/wrong to feel this way about him... but remember that you are young and there's a lot to experience out there! It's a big world :)

Q: ok im 13. i wear a 34 DD. yeah im not fat either. just huge boobs my mom is almost an E! yeah so i need help. my boobs they are big bu they kinna sink and they have the cleave i want my boobs to not sink and much and get like pushed up... my mom wont by me a push up bra either.. soo how can i make my boobs like perfect so when i wear a low cut shirt boys will ... heh you knoww..

I know exactly what your problem is! I worked in a lingerie store for a year, and we had lots of younger girls in who just didn't want to wear the icky granny bras that are just about all that's available for people who are larger chested (I'm one of those girls too!) Just try to find a bra that's NOT a pushup, since those are usually heavily padded. Get a saleswoman to fit you, because we can work miracles :P Number one thing, is don't be shy! THe best way for the saleswoman to help you is to see how your bra is fitting you now, and see how they can fix it :)

Q: hi guys. Ok, i moved away this summer and wasn't allowed to tell my friends until the last few weeks b/c my parents are well, basically, very private. So I tried to call everyone in that time period but i couldnt get a hold of everyone and had to tell people to spread the word. I felt really bad about it but i had no choice. Then I find out that one of my friends from my old town hates me. I email and try to set things right explaining everything but she refused to believe me and proceeded to cuss me out. She wants nothing to do with me and says she hates me and that i am a fake and a bunch of bad words and told me to **** off. She is also spreading bad rumors about me around my old school and ruining the squeeky clean image i had. I really just want to get through to her but she is being really stubborn. I really wasn't allowed to tell anyone. What should I do she refuses to believe me?? THank you, Megz2009

I know how you feel! The same thing happened to me when I went away to university... all my friends who stayed in high school started being really nasty, calling me snobby and stuff, cuz I don't have the time to talk for hours to them. All you have to do is look to the future! If she turned on you like that, she's not worth having as a friend. Just try making lots of new friends and take advantage of your new location :)

Q: I'm just wondering, but what do guys find attractive in a girl? If you're a guy please just tell me the truth. It can be looks, personality, whatever, but please be specific. If you're a girl, tell me what you think or what guys have mentioned to you!

Thank you!

I've found that the answer to your question seems to have changed over the time since I got out of high school: there, it was all about being thin, blonde and looking like a supermodel. Now that I'm in university (especially in my faculty) the guys all make fun of the girls who try too hard! I keep being asked out, not because I'm an astounding beauty, but because I'm comfortable with who I am, have a great sense of humour, and can have a decent conversation not revolving around shoes. Bottom line: If the guys are going only on appearance, they're not worth having!

Q: My friend collects model horses (like the plastic ones, etc). I'm fine with it, but I'm just curious to know what people think about it. What are your opinions?

Everyone has their little quirks that make them who they are... Model horses isn't unusual, I actually know someone who collects them too (and she's 18!)

Q: My mom is making me get braces soon and i think i have a choice of colors. What color would you pick and why?

Thanks

Whatever you do...don't get seasonal colours! All my friends made the same mistake, and got red and green for Christmas... then they looked silly in February!

Q: My cat is in heat...what can I do to stop her from bleeding/cuming...or being in heta for less time?

I used to work in a veterinary clinic, and the one thing the vets would always say is that if you're going to get a cat spayed, do it as soon as possible! Each heat the cat goes through makes the spaying surgery a little bit more difficult.

Q: Well i have brown eyes..and BLAH! i hate them..they are so dark and ..to me ..ugly!
all the gorgeous girls have blue eyes and i really wish i could have blue eyes..and im definately not getting colored contacts..my brown eyes make me feel so ..ugly. i always say to myself..if you were to have blue eyes you would be so much prettier..and i like this guy..but i think he likes his ex again..and what does she have? blue eyes. and i have brown hair..so on me i think it looks so ugly! i dont want to dye my hair blonde tho haha. on some girls brown hair and brown eyes is gorgeous..just not me. what do i do..my brown eyes are making me feel so..ugly.. =[

You know what's funny? I've had blue eyes all my life and HATED it. My little sister has brown eyes, and all I ever heard was "Oh, look at the big brown eyes!". I just assumed that everyone hated blue eyes! So sometimes it's just your perspective. Everybody likes something different :)

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My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.