I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
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I know FOR SURE that I have OCD, but my phsyciatric doctor only diagnosed me with anxiety. I take two medicines for it, but they don't help. I need OCD medication, but he hasn't diagnosed me with OCD. How can I prove to him that I really do have it? I was thinking that I could keep an OCD journal, and write down all the rituals and OCD things I do each day and show him, but I need other ideas. (link)
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I actually suffered quite badly with OCD for a number of years. I was offered medication but refused it, because I wanted to try to get rid of it by myself.
I would agree with your idea of writing a journal of all your rituals throughout the day. When I first started having psychotherapy, they asked me to do the same thing, in order to help me break them and it was only then they realised how out of control it all was.
With a lot of help from a therapist, I managed to get most of it sorted and although I still have the odd ritual, I'm not as tied down as I used to be and my day goes along well without all the interruptions. I'm not saying it was easy, because it wasn't but they gave me tasks to do and before long, I was dropping rituals without even realising it!
To be honest, I think that keeping a list of everything you do is actually the best idea but write them down as you go along, so you can show how long each one takes and how it affects your day. Finally, when each one is covered, make sure that you show it to him, so he gets a full picture of the problem. If you really do suffer with OCD, this should prove the point to him and hopefully get him helping you take a step in the right direction.
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I have a phobia of food poisoning and throwing up. I've already decided that the next time I throw up or ever get food poisoning, I will kill myself, and if that doesn't work out, I'll be anorexic to prevent food poisoning.
I already have a therapist, but she doesn't help with my phobia's. I've asked my mom to get me one that specializes in phobia's, but she chose this one to helpme with my depression (which I am over) and she won't get me a new one.
It's either give me a way to never throw up or get food poisoning, or I'll end up in a bad situation. (link)
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Wow, can I ever relate to you!
I have a severe phobia of being sick (by the way, it's called Emetophobia) and I developed it after a bad stomach bug in September 1997. Like you, after that I always said that if I thought I was going to be sick. I would kill myself and up until 2003, I have always believed that.
After recovering, I started to get scared of going through it again and, without actually realising it too much at the time, stopped eating because I was so scared that if I ate, I would be sick. In August 1998, aged 13, I was admitted to hospital with anorexia. I was under 6 stone and was force-fed for 8 days until I was putting on 2lbs a day, when they agreed to release me on a high sugar and fats diet until I was at my 'correct' weight.
Let me tell you something, that experience of being in hospital and being force fed was AWFUL. My stomach shrank and I was made to eat until I truly thought I was going to be sick and I was hysterical most nights I was there, with the fear of it all. Ironically, I remember threatening a Nurse that I would throw up on her if she made me eat!
Then, in March 2003, I had the exact problem you are terrified of. I contracted food poisoning from some ice cream at a restaurant that had melted and been re-frozen. I had crippling stomach ache and was very nearly sick 3 times. I made my Gran take me to the hospital and got an injection to prevent me from being sick. I have never been so hysterical in my whole life.
Here's the thing......I still eat ice cream. I know that sounds stupid. I'm so phobic it's untrue and to this day, I can't have ANYTHING to do with any music, films, books or anything else from 1997. But I realised you CAN prevent food poisoning as long as you are careful with high risk foods. You can be careful without going over the top, it's just learning to control your fear and suppress some of it.
For example, if you buy ice cream, get it into the freezer as fast as possible. Don't eat areas that have lots of bits of ice and a crunchy texture. Don't eat ice cream from unknown sources like ice cream trucks. You CAN eat eggs past their sell by date but I won't eat them if they are more than a week past and I always overcook them slightly, to be on the safe side. I've been vegetarian for 13 years, so I don't have to worry about meat but you need to be aware of the dangers of undercooking. Always make sure chicken is white on the inside or when roasting, ensure the liquid runs clear before eating. Make sure sausages are thoroughly cooked and NEVER put raw meats uncovered and at the top of the fridge. Also remember that as long as you cook everything thoroughly and it isn't meat being reheated after cooling, you should NEVER have a problem.
Simple things like this will prevent you from food poisoning but don't require you to stop eating.
Please also remember there are foods that you can't get poisoned from (or at least are difficult). Potato products are normally okay, as are chocolates, biscuits, fruit, vegetables, crisps and so on.
I don't want you to go through what I went through. This really is an awful phobia and people often don't realise the burden you carry with you every day but there are things you can do to make it easier to bear so please don't give up eating altogether. Don't let it destroy you the way it almost destroyed me.
If you need to talk about it at all, please feel free to send me a message. It might be nice to have another phobic to talk to!
***********EDIT*************
Just to let you know, someone before me mentioned that your problem indicates a mental deficiency. I just wanted to let you know that this ISN'T the case. A phobia of sickness is the same as any other phobia out there and like any true phobia, the sufferer would do almost anything to get away from the thing they are afraid of. The best I can liken it to is an arachnaphobic being told they WILL be covered head to toe in spiders at some point, while locked in a room and there's nothing they can do about it. You're a walking time bomb and it terrifies you and you will want to do anything to escape it. It's the way it is. The fight or flight reflex, so to speak. Don't worry. You aren't abnormal. You just suffer with a slightly less common phobia.
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i am 15 female.
one of my bestfriends just lost her virginity to her boyfriend and she'll be 15 in a couple of days. i know the guy she lost it to and he's very sweet at times. she told me that his penis was big and fat. wow.lol. she told me it hurt like hell and im really curious about if it should even hurt because i heard only when you're nervous it hurts but she claims she wasn't nervous and wanted to loose her virginity to him right away. why, i have no clue? Could anyone please tell me stories about thier first time and every feeling you had.
to be honest i kind of feel pressured to have sex because everyone around me has either lost it at 12,13,14, and 15. But i know who i am and i know that loosing my virginity won't make me a betta person than i am now..but still im curious about sex...please tell me everything i should know!! thanx in advance (link)
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It's natural to be curious about sex, especially when you are smack bang in the middle of puberty and so aware of everything related to it all of a sudden.
You know, I didn't have sex until I was 18. I had...opportunities to do things with a guy before that who made it all sound very inviting and I was attracted to him, but I refused to do it, even though he kept pushing the point. I knew he didn't really care about me and I didn't want to lose my virginity to some guy who would just consider me a notch on his bedpost. I wanted to do it when I was in love and ready.
So I waited and I met this amazing guy and eventually, we did it. I'm not going to say it was the most incredible night of my life or that he 'rocked my world', because the first time was very painful. However, I was SO glad I had waited because we knew we truly did love each other. Three years down the line, we're still together and now we have a home together too.
The most important things you need to know about sex are not to do it until YOU are ready and have found a guy you know it won't be wasted on. Then, when you have found him, make sure you do it safely. Use condoms at ALL times, because you can pregnant whether he climaxes inside you or not and make sure that you are on the Pill, which is around 99.9% effective when taken correctly. If you use condoms and the Pill together (what the Dutch call going 'Double Dutch'), you're about as safe as you can be.
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Okay, I dont need help coping,
I just need to know if I'm alright.
I mean my grandma died when i was in 5th grade,
I'm going into 10th now, and I was closer to her,
more close than the usual grandchild grandma bond.
I mean ever since I was born I came over to my grandparents house EVERDAY after school,
and I stayed there a lot. And I still cry over her, and how I miss her.
I mean when it happened, sure I was sad, and I understood she was gone, but today I understand more, and it just makes me wish she was here.
Especially since I'm volunteering at a nursing home, for some reason I get weird notions that my grandma is stuck somewhere in there, since she said she woudl hate to be there ever. And that I just cant find her, and shes miserable.
And this month, august, is the month she died,
on the twenty eigth actually, and it was a tuesday. and i cant take it, i don tknow what to do, and if i'm going to be okay? Is it usual to still beupst about things like this even if it happened a long time ago?
(link)
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You know, you remind me of my sister. We lost our beloved Nan when we were 15 and 6 years on, she still hasn't quite come to terms with it because, like you, she had a close bond with her.
I don't truly believe you ever get over the death of someone you were close to and eventually you just have to learn to cope with the day to day grief that you suffer.
However, if it has been 5 years since her death and you still feel this bad about it, then it might be a good idea to look into Bereavement Counselling. Often when we lose loved ones, it's difficult to accept their passing and this form of counselling can really help you learn to live with your grief.
The thing which is hard to accept but MUST be realised is that yes, your Grandma is gone, but you are still here and she wouldn't want for you to spend so much time grieving over her, especially when she has most likely gone to a much happier place. She would want to see the Grandaughter she cared so much about enjoying herself, making the most of the life she no longer has and loving every second of it. Life is precious and you should never forget to experience it, even if the people you love are no longer around. Easier said than done, yes but there is so much out there to see and do and taste and smell and your Grandma wouldn't want you to miss out on anything, I'm sure.
So maybe look into Bereavement Counselling and in the meantime, I think it might do you some good to write letters to her. You don't have to post them, you don't have to do anything with them. You can even throw them in the bin or burn them when you're done but it could help you if you write to her everything you want to say and everything you feel when things get too on top of you.
Please don't give up. It will get easier.
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so if people agree and think that smoking is bad and alcoholism is bad why do people think that suicidal-minded rock bands and stuff like that push the limiting line of "individualism" is not bad and is just being individually unique? surely you cant say that child pornography is just uniqueness that someone has that you shouldn't try to take away someone from doing because you dont wanna interfere with their individualism? or alcohol addictions or smoking? so what makes the difference?
i just dont understand beccause ive had a number of friends whos fallen into the wrong paths (serious depression cutting themselves and suicidal attempts and one actually killed herself :() after being "emo" and the "misunderstood kid" who's always considered herself depressed. i dont mean to label but a general trend was they listened to songs about deaths 24/7 and stuff. theres no hard proof that emo bands and their intense promoting of "individualism" and "being yourself" beyond the line cause these things but then again, there's no scientific proof that child porn is bad, it just is... so why wouldnt anyone agree with me? (link)
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To be honest, I can see your point but they are two totally unrelated scenarios.
Child pornography, the example you have used, is bad for obvious reasons. It is depraved and robs children of the innocence they have a right to.
I agree with you to some extent on the rock bands that seem to promote negative feeling. There are plenty of them out there that sing about suicide, death and that awful black place that you can fall to when depressed, and it is something I often refer to as "Music to slit your wrists to", because that is what it seems to be for in a lot of cases. With no discernable tune in a lot of cases, it seems its only purpose is dwelling on the most negative aspects of life and death and it seems that in a world which is already full of death and destruction, this is the last thing people who might already be on a rock ledge need to listen to.
That being said, music is considered a form of expression and as all persons involved are consenting and not deliberately intending harm to others, there really isn't a lot that can be done about it. I do agree that music can have a strong effect on people's emotions and from experience, I know that those suffering frm depression find that form of expression comforting. Perhaps because misery loves company, who knows?
The point is that yes, there is a lot of bad things in this world that thousands of us don't agree with and chances are, they all contribute to rising suicide, aggression and other behaviour that is considered anti-social. However, they cannot ban the depressing music because of rights to expression, they cannot ban alcohol when the majority of people can enjoy it responsibly, they cannot ban smoking because there would be a huge public uproar and all in all, as much as it would be nice, it wouldn't be worth it for the repercussions.
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I want to keep more things to myself. I complain about everything all the time, and I always talk about people, good or bad. I hate it, how do I learn not to tell people everything, like when to stop? thanks! (link)
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I have *exactly* the same problem and it makes you feel so self-conscious because you can actually SEE people's eyes glaze over when you start talking to them!!
Like you, I've been trying to work out ways to not do this so I'll give you my tip. Every time I think of something and want to tell someone, I stop for a moment and consider whether the person I was going to tell would really be interested. Would the guy I work with but don't know really be interested in the fact my cat took a sausage roll from the bin?? Would the person I sit next to really care to discuss the idiot driver that cut me up on the way to work??
If I can't definitely say that yes, it is a topic that would interest them, I file it away for later in my mind. In most cases, I then forget about it and it isn't a problem any more.
With the complaining, I try to remind myself of how it must sound to other people when I talk. Think about the MOST annoying person you have known. Someone who whinged about things constantly (or imagine someone like that). Then, decide whether or not you really want to mention it and risk being thought of in that way, or whether you can keep it inside.
I would also support someone else's suggestion that you get somewhere to note all of your thoughts down. I have kept a diary for the last 8-9 years now and I find it really helps to relieve the thoughts I have by being able to write them down.
Don't worry, with a bit of practise it does get easier. You just have to learn when to tell and when to remain a Woman of Mystery!
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i bought a car online and sent the £2000 to a company called safepay who were acting agents,the seller hasnt contacted me since sat regarding the shipping of the car coming from portugal,the agents are holders of the cash wich isnt meant to be handed over to the seller till i recieve the car and ive emailed the seller and the company can you help me with what i should do next, (link)
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There is a possibility that they haven't contacted you because they are waiting for the cheque to clear, which in most cases can take p to 10 working days.
However, I would recommend that if you haven't heard anything further in a week's time, you need to report it to the police and see if anything can be done to chase the matter up. If there is nothing much that they can do then I would recommend the same as the previous person. Get a Solicitor involed. They may turn around and say that if you didn't sign an agreement with them, there is little they can do but on the other hand, they may able to put the fear of God in them, so to speak, and threaten them with court action if they refuse to deliver the goods.
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Alright, well there is this one guy that I've been hanging out with, but basically we're only friends so far. Everyone says that he likes me, and I like him, but I'm not sure about his feelings.
I'm not sure if I should make the first move and ask him out, or wait a little longer and see if he does? (link)
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The problem with this sort of situation is that no matter how long you leave it, or how much you flirt, you will never know how he feels about you for sure unless he makes a move on you first. This is even more true if he is a shy guy at heart.
For this reason alone, I always say that you should just take a deep breath and ask him out. Yes, it is absoloutely mortifying but once you have done it, you will know once and for all where you stand and you won't have to worry about it any more. Even if he says no, at least you won't have wasted precious flirting energy on a guy who wasn't interested and you can use it on another guy when he comes along!
There's no subtle way to do this, so just wait until you have a moment together and tell him that you like him and wondered if he might be interested in doing something with you sometime. If all your friends think he likes you, there's a good chance the answer will be a favourable one.
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ahh i seriously have like 10 or more mosquito bites and they are driving me crazyy!!!!! is there any way to make them go away quicker? i have this lotion stuff but it doesn't help that much and only lasts for a little period of time. please help they itch so bad!! =[ thank youuu. (link)
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I had a similar problem a while ago and you have my sympathies because it can drive you MAD!!
If you go to your local pharmacy, they will be able to recommend something based on how the bites look. They will also be able to give you an idea of what sort of cream you should be using.
My recommendation if they are very bad and as long as they are not cracked or broken is Hydrocortisone Cream. It helps relieve the itching and reduces the swelling.
In the meantime, DON'T scratch or they could get infected and that really won't be pleasent!
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Ok i made my boyfriend promise that we wouldn't do anything sexual anymore. And he said that he promised. He even promised that he would stop me in the case that I came on to him. But yesturday he was playing with me and tried to have sex with me and I pushed him away but he kept coming at me. Now I don't know what to do because..it really hurts me that he finally seemed like he made a promise that was worth while. Does he even love me. We have been going out for almost 10 months now... (link)
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It is quite possible that he does still love you, but not respecting your wishes is extremely poor behaviour from someone you need to be able to trust completely.
Try to talk to him about this. You need to explain to him that you were hurt by his actions, as he had promised you that there would be nothing sexual in your relationship for the time being. See what he says to this. If he says he just got a little too caught up in the moment then it might be worth giving him a second chance, on the understanding that he realises no means no. Not stopping at the agreed point shows a huge lack of respect for you as a person and as a woman and he needs to realise that.
Talk it over and see if he is still willing to abide by his promise. If he doesn't think he can do this, or if things get out of hand again, as much as you care about him and as much as I don't want to say this, you might need to consider whether you want to stay in the relationship.
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f/uk
I have shortish, frizzy, curly hair which I normally straighten. However, I am shortly going on holiday and would like to avoid the 'frizzball' effect after being in a pool.
Does anyone have any tips on products that will calm my hair and make it look presentable until I go back to my room and can shower it out? Preferably products I can buy in the UK. Thanks to all. (link)
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Hey there,
I live in the UK and have exactly the same problem with my hair. It goes frizzy and curly and just looks terrible after it gets wet.
However, there are two combinations I managed to work out which helped tame my hair.
Frizz-Ease Original Formula Hair Serum, which should go straight into your hair while it is still wet. Use a generous amount if you have a lot of hair and smooth it evenly through. I would also recommend that you comb your hair (DON'T use a brush as this will make it frizz more). Dry your hair a little with a hair dryer on a medium setting, while always keep it pointind down your hair. When it is still a bit damp, use Frizz Ease Relaxing Cream, which will help to tame any stray curls. Then either continue to dry with a hair dryer or allow to dry naturally.
The other combination I have taken to using since abandoning my beloved GHD's is as follows: Slightly dry uncombed hair until still dripping lightly but no longer soaking wet. Comb through gently and add a generous amount of Wella Curls Firm Hold Mousse. I apply a bit to the crown of my head and then separate two two sides and back and apply a reasonable amount of mousse to each section. After this, I comb through again very gently and blow dry on a medium heat, again with the nozzle pointing downwards at all times. Finally, while my hair is still retaining some of the heat, I smooth a little Sunsilk Kinks and Frizz Leave In Conditioner (the purple bottle). If you have curly hair and would like to keep them frizz free curls, there is a curls Leave In Conditioner which should also help (the green one).
One last thing, it comes strongly recommended from many that you do a cold blast of water after washing your hair, as this can also help to reduce frizz.
I hope that helps!
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so i am a cheerleader for the past 3 years and i have knee problems. i wear a brace to al lmy practice and games..& when i dont it hurts A LOT well.. i didnt war it to practice for 2 hours of straight dancing and then the following day walked around a fair for hours.. my question is.. it hurts extreemly bad now becuase i was stupid. is there anything i could do? i put tlike this thing called "Rapid Relief" and i put it int eh microwave and it worked for a little.. i also put my leg in my ice cold pool for a little.. nothing is working. it s20 till 11 so going to store is impossible till tomarrow .. i cant sit.. lay down.. stand.. anything hurts.. i am just misserbale. please help!. (link)
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You poor thing!!!! I have a bad hip so I can sympathise. I know how much it can hurt and it's terrible when nothing can take the pain away.
The best thing I can recommend is that you rest it as much as possible for now and try to alternate between the ice and the heat pads. Also see if you can take some good, strong painkillers.
In the meantime, I really hope it starts to feel better. I don't know if you have ever been to see a chiropractor but they can be very helpful and give a lot of information on how to treat pains such as yours. Otherwise, if you haven't already been sent for it, physiotherapy could work brilliantly, so you might want to discuss that option with your doctor as it can work wonders in the long run.
I'm so sorry for the pain you are in. I know it hurts but try to cope through it because you know it will get better. If you need to talk at all, please feel free to contact me.
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hi. ok lately i have been REALLY tired. i mean i get enough sleep. i get between 9-11 hours of sleep and during the school year i got around 9. but i feel so tired! like in magazines i read that thats enough time to not make you tired. and i have such dark circles on my eyes. and i cant get them to go away. i tried that old spoon thing where you freeze it and place it over. didnt work. i tried covering it with cover up. wouldnt lighten up. i dont know how to get rid of it. so basically im asking how do i get rid of the circles and why am i so tired if i get enough sleep? (link)
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There are a lot of possible causes of lethargy, although you should really discuss it with your doctor. Some prime examples are:
Sleep related conditions: Problems such as sleep apnoea (where you stop breathing during your sleep for a few seconds are are roused temporarily as a result.) However, this is most common in those who are classed as overweight and in some cases, those who have had their tonsils removed.
Vitamin/Mineral Deficiencies: Sometimes are bodies, for whatever reason, lack to ability to absorb certain nutrients from food and drink. Iron and B12 deficiencies, for example, are relatively common, causing anaemia and perncious anaemia. One of the most common symptoms of anaemia is lethargy, so again, this is a possibility.
Of course, I am not a doctor and while these are possibilities, day-to-day things such as lifestyle changes, stress, diet and so on have to be taken into account.
I would strongly recommend that if this pattern of exhaustion continues for more than two weeks, you should speak to your doctor, who will be able to perform tests and, hopefully, provide a diagnosis. In the meantime, try to take things easy and not worry about it too much, as this could make it worse.
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what do cramps feel like. i havn't had my period yet. i think it may be coming soon, i have arm pit hair, hair "down" their, and some what breast development. so i need to know what cramps feel like, when i should be expecting to get those cramps and where exactly are the cramps?
thanks soooooooo much (link)
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Everybody finds their body reacts differently to periods so really you can't base how you will find it on anyone else's experience. However, for me, the main feelings are
- Feeling quite sick the first day or two
- Lethargy
- Headaches the day before I come on
- Feeling like my abdomen is in a vice and being squeezed periodically for the first two days.
I really don't want to scare you with all that so please don't feel frightened. Yes, it can be nasty when you first start but the good news is that some people don't suffer from period pains at all and those that do often find that they either disappear with painkillers or don't last beyond the first day or two.
Unfortunately, nobody will be able to tell you when you will start getting the cramps exactly because, again everyone is different. I only get cramps from about half an hour before I actually get my period, however and the pain is, as someone has already said, around 4 inches below the naval.
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what is some good cardio that you can do to lose a few pounds, that you can do every day. besides swimming because i dont have a pool and i can't run long distances,i hate it. i ride my bike about a mile some days, but that's getting boring. thanks xo (link)
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Anything that requires a lot of rapid movement can exercise the cardiovascular system. I find that skipping ropes can be very useful. Start by doing normal skipping, then try it on one leg, then the other, then running on the spot while skipping.
There are lots of different types of dancing out there. Latin, tap, Salsa, swing, disco, hip hop, etc. All of them require a lot of movement and will help to get your blood pumping nice and quickly. The best part of dance is that it can also help improve your co-ordination and balance, as well as helping to tone you up.
If you have access to a VCR/DVD player, you could purchase an aerobics video. Usually the workouts are quite long and complex so it could take you quite some time to get bored with it and aerobics is one of the best cardiovascular exercises you can do, as it also tones your whole body and they specifically work on fat burn.
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hey i am on a diet and have been doing fine but im very big on dessert. i cut down my normal ice cream at night and insteas of all those calories have something lighter. but now im ready to cut down dessert altogether. any tips? its very difficult as i am used to having something sweet before bed. help if you can thank youu. (link)
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I actually have exactly the same problem and as a chocoholic, you can just guess what my downfall was!! It did, in fact, get to the point where I was happily eating 5 bars of chocolate a day.. hence why I am on the diet!
It is always recommended you try to make the switch from high sugar foods like chocolate and ice cream and sweets to fruits. Good combinations are fruit yoghurts (with real fruit), smoothies and fruit salads. A lot of people also swear by frozen grapes, which they claim taste just like boiled sweets.
However, if, like me, you find that the transition from ice cream, chocolate and the like to fruit is a little too much all in one go, there are a couple of other tricks up my sleeve, which have so far worked wonders.
First up, frozen slices of Milky Way or Mars Bar. Deliciously satisfying and because they are frozen, they take longer to eat. Just make sure you walk away from the freezer before you start to eat because it will be all too tempting to go back!!
My absoloute favourite is my latest trick. There is a nearby fancy chocolate shop called Thorntons. (I don't know where you are from but if you are in America, they will have something similar). Chocolates from shops such as these are made without the hydrogenated vegetable oil that makes other chocolates so bad for you and instead they use a lot of cocoa butter. So, now I keep a supply of champagne truffles or other such chocolates in the fridge. I treat myself to just one every night, as long as I have had no other chocolate during the day. They're very rich so I don't need to have anything after that and because I'm not breaking pieces off a bar, it's easy to just take out one at a time.
It is quite hard to get used to cutting sugary foods out of your diet but the most important thing is that it is sometimes okay to give into cravings. The longer you ignore them, the harder it gets and you end up bingeing. Keep a small amount of chocolate with you at all times, so that if the terrible cravings strike, you can have just a tiny bit. As time goes on, you will start to only eat it when you get cravings, rather than out of habit.
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sorry if this is long but i really need advice ok i live with my dad, and i need to get bras, i need/want a cupped bra, but
1. i don't know wat size i am and i dont know how to figure it out.
2. and i dont know which 1 would be right for me
i would like to have 1 regular sports bra, 1 regular cupped bra, and 1 sports bra that is sorta cupped. how many bras do you think i should need? how do i get those bras with my dad?
as much advice as possible plz help me!! thx (link)
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Just thought I would put my two penny's worth in here.
It is absoloutely vital, especially when purchasing your first bra, that you get measured because having the correct size is the most important thing when it comes to bras. Having a poorly fitting bra can lead to a lot of problems so the best thing you can do is get yourself to a professional who will measure you. There will be plenty of lingerie and underwear shops around your local area and almost every shop of this kind offers a free fitting service these days.
Don't worry, it doesn't mean you have to strip off completely. All they do is use a flexible tape measure to take your size under your bust line and then across the middle and you can stay fully clothed while they do it. After this, they will be able to advise you what sort of bra size you need to buy and will quite possibly be able to offer you guidance as to what sort will be best for you.
As far as different kinds, you don't need to have loads, especially if you are still growing. If you are still growing through puberty, it is worth bearing in mind your breasts will probably continue to grow until you are around 19-20 years old and during this time, you will find yourself needing to buy new bras every 6-12months, depending on how quickly you grow. Don't go overboard yet. Go for at least one 't-shirt bra', as this qill be suitable for wearing with plain tops without showing any patterns through. Also, if you play a lot of sports, it is adviseable to have a sports bra. Personally, I would recommend those two and then one which can be used for most occasions. Three or four should be enough, as you don't want to put them in the wash and realise you have none left.
On that note, it is usually best to purchase underwired bras, although you must bear in mind most underwired bras should be handwashed, to prevent them from going lumpy or the wire from poking out through the material.
Hope that helps. If you need any further advice, feel free to send me a message.
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I feel like i have lost my self respect and my rights of my own body. Last night, i had a really bad experience, me and my 2 best friends got drunk. One of my friends was sober, and me and my other friend were very drunk. Late last night, me and the drunk friend decided to go outside, and when we passed by the bus stop, 2 men told pulled us to a field and they started doing things to us, no one was around to help us or to get them away from us. After about 20 minutes, my sober friend who was inside and not looking after us, came running outside to find the 2 men and me and my friend in the field. She yelled at the men, called me and my friend sluts and stuff, and then the men ran away. I dont know how to gain some self confidence back, i am hurt and tromautized by those men who took advatage of me and my best friend. I need something to make me feel better, but i don't trust anyone to tell them what happened. Even my sober friend does not know what they did to us. Advice please! (link)
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I'm sorry, everyone who has replied so far seems to have missed a very serious point here.
The fact is that you and your friend were sexually assaulted and although you may feel you have lost your self respect, you cannot make the situation worse by letting them get away with it. Partly because, as has already been said, you need justice for what they put you through but also because you need to prevent this from happening to other women. From the sounds of what happened, this is not the first time this has been done and you need to do something to help stop it.
You haven't said what it was they did to you but if they raped you, you also need to make sure that you have tests to ensure you have not contracted any infections or diseases as a result. If you were raped, their DNA could still be on your body and you need to speak to the police because you could help to catch them if this is the case.
Recovery from any sort of assault is difficult but sexual assault is always the worst kind. It's invasive, it's soul-destroying, it makes you feel dirty and ashamed, as though you have done something wrong. After you have been to the police about this (and PLEASE go to them immediately), they might recommend you for counselling. Something like this can bring on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and it can make you terrified to do something as simple as leaving the house. Don't let yourself be a prisoner to your experience. I know it isn't easy but it might help to speak to someone like a counsellor, who can help you to overcome what happened.
Once you have done all you can to help catch the men who did this to you, you might find the whole ordeal easier to come to terms with. I cannot stress this enough, please, for your sake and the other women in the area where the attack occurred, don't let the incident go without report. Tell your parents, tell the police, tell anyone who might be in danger.
I'm so sorry for what happened to you and your friend. Stick with each other and help each other through this. You WILL get through it because you are stronger than you think. Good luck.
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ok wow. today i went to this party. all these people were like drinking and smoking. i felt so bad! i almost felt like crying. this was my first *drunk party* or whatever you call them. i didn't get drunk or smoked or anything. but, i feel so bad. all these people doing all these things. the cops came and arrested this kid because he was above the alchohol level or w/e. i just fee so weird and so dissapointed about this. it's not that i'm a nerd. it's just that i see it on tv and stuff, but i didn't expect this from some people. we all go to private schools. i'm not saying that people that don't go to private schools drink and stuff. but, i mean, that we all live pretty sheltered lives, you know? we go out and stuff, but we go to small schools and i just don't see why they would do this. i just want advice from anyone that maybe has gone through this sort of thing and maybe to give say something uplifting relating to this
thank you (link)
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Oh, do I know how you feel. From when I was about 16, all of my friends were going out and getting drunk and smoking cannabis on weekends and....well...I just didn't want to. Everyone would tell me their drunken stories and for a while, I felt so left out. It wasn't that I wanted to drink or do drugs as such, I just wanted to feel what they all felt or seemed to feel.
That all changed one night when a friend was meant to sleep over one night. She went to a party first and didn't turn up til 1am and she was stoned up to the eyeballs and drunk. It was NOT attractive. From that moment, I knew I never wanted to do it but....it was a huge shock. We all went to what is known in the UK as a Grammar School. Not quite private as such but you have to pass tests to get in. Anyways, it was a shock to realise that everyone did these things that in my eyes were just wrong!
You know what though? You don't have to be part of that scene if you don't want to be. Everyone says they are fun but what's fun about doing stupid and illegal things, and waking up the next morning feeling like you got hit with a truck and not being able to remember what you did and with who the night before? Personally, I'd rather go catch a movie with some of my real friends or go bowling or something and although that way of life may be tempting, I did a lot better in school than some of the other girls who did that stuff because I had a clear head when I needed it.
Don't worry, it is a shock but some people will do things like this. It's part of life. Don't be a part of anything you don't want to be and don't do anything you don't want to just because other people do. Do what you want for yourself and not for anyone else because let me tell you something. The mistakes other people make will drag you down if you let them. Or you can find people who will help you make the best of yourself.
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umm this is an old song and i only know a part to it but i want to put it on my myspace and i know one verse to it its ''Shot through the heart and your to late you give love a bad name'' its like an old band, but i think its like rock or punk music (link)
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You Give Love A Bad Name, by Bon Jovi. Although in future, you really should try a seach on Google before asking on here.
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