|
how to cope.
Okay, I dont need help coping,
I just need to know if I'm alright.
I mean my grandma died when i was in 5th grade,
I'm going into 10th now, and I was closer to her,
more close than the usual grandchild grandma bond.
I mean ever since I was born I came over to my grandparents house EVERDAY after school,
and I stayed there a lot. And I still cry over her, and how I miss her.
I mean when it happened, sure I was sad, and I understood she was gone, but today I understand more, and it just makes me wish she was here.
Especially since I'm volunteering at a nursing home, for some reason I get weird notions that my grandma is stuck somewhere in there, since she said she woudl hate to be there ever. And that I just cant find her, and shes miserable.
And this month, august, is the month she died,
on the twenty eigth actually, and it was a tuesday. and i cant take it, i don tknow what to do, and if i'm going to be okay? Is it usual to still beupst about things like this even if it happened a long time ago?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I kind of know how you feel, my grandma died a year ago in July, but it sounds like you two were closer. Your grandma died and you were sad but you kind of got over it. After a little while we feel guilty for not feeling as sad and we start remembering her more and we now feel more sad then before, and I'm sure your grandma wouldn't want you to be sad. But remember you loved your grandma and she knew it, but life goes on. You can be sad every once in a while but don't let it get in the way of you having a good time.
]
You know, you remind me of my sister. We lost our beloved Nan when we were 15 and 6 years on, she still hasn't quite come to terms with it because, like you, she had a close bond with her.
I don't truly believe you ever get over the death of someone you were close to and eventually you just have to learn to cope with the day to day grief that you suffer.
However, if it has been 5 years since her death and you still feel this bad about it, then it might be a good idea to look into Bereavement Counselling. Often when we lose loved ones, it's difficult to accept their passing and this form of counselling can really help you learn to live with your grief.
The thing which is hard to accept but MUST be realised is that yes, your Grandma is gone, but you are still here and she wouldn't want for you to spend so much time grieving over her, especially when she has most likely gone to a much happier place. She would want to see the Grandaughter she cared so much about enjoying herself, making the most of the life she no longer has and loving every second of it. Life is precious and you should never forget to experience it, even if the people you love are no longer around. Easier said than done, yes but there is so much out there to see and do and taste and smell and your Grandma wouldn't want you to miss out on anything, I'm sure.
So maybe look into Bereavement Counselling and in the meantime, I think it might do you some good to write letters to her. You don't have to post them, you don't have to do anything with them. You can even throw them in the bin or burn them when you're done but it could help you if you write to her everything you want to say and everything you feel when things get too on top of you.
Please don't give up. It will get easier.
]
Yes,it's okay to still have the pain even though it was a long time ago,things like that you never forget for some people they deicde to have like a photo or for others it's not enough they want like maybe a piece of them like something they used to wear or a piece of their hair,makes them feel like their loved one is still with them,it's something so precious that not even something newer or money can replace it.Try to think that your grandma is happier with god,that she doesn't have to worry,no more frustrations,she's watching you,and that she'll always love you.And that she wouldn't want to see you upset she wants to see you move on and that she will rest in peace until she see's that.Don't be sad know that she'll always be guiding your way even though you may not notice.
]
Hey I know what yout going through my uncle and I were the same way. What I did was I made a colage of his life and instead of crying on the day he died I celebrate his life. I throw a big party with all of his friends and family.
It was even harder for me because my parents didn't tell me and I found out by hearing it from my abusive babysitter. I still remember what she said..."WOW a man died at the wheel from having a heart-attack. He crashed into a ditch and died instantly." I wondered what his name was it turned out to be my uncle. My mom soon walked in I was still in shock. I flipped out because they didn't tell me to this day I still have anger about it.
I miss him like he was my father and I am still in shock 4 years later vut I am still living life and when I think of him I just think he wouldn't want me to be sad he would want me to be happy.
If youwant anyone to talk to I'm here. I really know what your going through.
Jenni
]
It must be a very hard thing to cope with. And, I think it's ok. Sometimes, something will remind you of a person you lost, and you start thinking about them and next thing you know...you're crying and wishing they were there with you. I think it's ok. It's harder because of what month it is, and you do understand everything better now. I don't think you will ever actually get over it, but you'll learn to realize that she is in a better place, and she never had to be in nursing home, and she's watching over you.
And on the bright side, at least you got to meet your grandmother, not a lot of people do, you should consider yourself blessed. =]
-Teacup
]
More Questions: |