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Phobia that will lead to suicide or anorexia.
I have a phobia of food poisoning and throwing up. I've already decided that the next time I throw up or ever get food poisoning, I will kill myself, and if that doesn't work out, I'll be anorexic to prevent food poisoning.
I already have a therapist, but she doesn't help with my phobia's. I've asked my mom to get me one that specializes in phobia's, but she chose this one to helpme with my depression (which I am over) and she won't get me a new one.
It's either give me a way to never throw up or get food poisoning, or I'll end up in a bad situation.
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Wow, can I ever relate to you!
I have a severe phobia of being sick (by the way, it's called Emetophobia) and I developed it after a bad stomach bug in September 1997. Like you, after that I always said that if I thought I was going to be sick. I would kill myself and up until 2003, I have always believed that.
After recovering, I started to get scared of going through it again and, without actually realising it too much at the time, stopped eating because I was so scared that if I ate, I would be sick. In August 1998, aged 13, I was admitted to hospital with anorexia. I was under 6 stone and was force-fed for 8 days until I was putting on 2lbs a day, when they agreed to release me on a high sugar and fats diet until I was at my 'correct' weight.
Let me tell you something, that experience of being in hospital and being force fed was AWFUL. My stomach shrank and I was made to eat until I truly thought I was going to be sick and I was hysterical most nights I was there, with the fear of it all. Ironically, I remember threatening a Nurse that I would throw up on her if she made me eat!
Then, in March 2003, I had the exact problem you are terrified of. I contracted food poisoning from some ice cream at a restaurant that had melted and been re-frozen. I had crippling stomach ache and was very nearly sick 3 times. I made my Gran take me to the hospital and got an injection to prevent me from being sick. I have never been so hysterical in my whole life.
Here's the thing......I still eat ice cream. I know that sounds stupid. I'm so phobic it's untrue and to this day, I can't have ANYTHING to do with any music, films, books or anything else from 1997. But I realised you CAN prevent food poisoning as long as you are careful with high risk foods. You can be careful without going over the top, it's just learning to control your fear and suppress some of it.
For example, if you buy ice cream, get it into the freezer as fast as possible. Don't eat areas that have lots of bits of ice and a crunchy texture. Don't eat ice cream from unknown sources like ice cream trucks. You CAN eat eggs past their sell by date but I won't eat them if they are more than a week past and I always overcook them slightly, to be on the safe side. I've been vegetarian for 13 years, so I don't have to worry about meat but you need to be aware of the dangers of undercooking. Always make sure chicken is white on the inside or when roasting, ensure the liquid runs clear before eating. Make sure sausages are thoroughly cooked and NEVER put raw meats uncovered and at the top of the fridge. Also remember that as long as you cook everything thoroughly and it isn't meat being reheated after cooling, you should NEVER have a problem.
Simple things like this will prevent you from food poisoning but don't require you to stop eating.
Please also remember there are foods that you can't get poisoned from (or at least are difficult). Potato products are normally okay, as are chocolates, biscuits, fruit, vegetables, crisps and so on.
I don't want you to go through what I went through. This really is an awful phobia and people often don't realise the burden you carry with you every day but there are things you can do to make it easier to bear so please don't give up eating altogether. Don't let it destroy you the way it almost destroyed me.
If you need to talk about it at all, please feel free to send me a message. It might be nice to have another phobic to talk to!
***********EDIT*************
Just to let you know, someone before me mentioned that your problem indicates a mental deficiency. I just wanted to let you know that this ISN'T the case. A phobia of sickness is the same as any other phobia out there and like any true phobia, the sufferer would do almost anything to get away from the thing they are afraid of. The best I can liken it to is an arachnaphobic being told they WILL be covered head to toe in spiders at some point, while locked in a room and there's nothing they can do about it. You're a walking time bomb and it terrifies you and you will want to do anything to escape it. It's the way it is. The fight or flight reflex, so to speak. Don't worry. You aren't abnormal. You just suffer with a slightly less common phobia.
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First of all,how are you going to get poisened through food??The food you eat is perfectly clean.Look,say it does have food poisining in it,if you take a risk by eating it,you might get sick,but if you dont take the risk at all,you will have already lost because you will be unhealthy and you might die of throwing up everything you eat!!Look,just try this...eat an apple(start off with the small things) then sit for a half hour without throwing it up,if a half an hour passes and nothing happens to you,then your fine!Because food takes half an hour to get transfered through your body.Food poisining is really rare and besides,if it happens in a resturant,you can sue them!!Just calm down,eat the apple and youll see for yourself how its ok,then you can start by eating other things!
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This might be hard to believe, but go to a hypnotist. They will erase that fear from your memory. Searh in google more about the subject. It is completely safe if you go to a professional. One of my relatives went to one for her phobia - stage fright and antisocial behavior..she didn't like people. After her visit she didn't have that phobia anymore!
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Ok First all what about vomiting/food poisoning frightens you so much? What is your therapist say when you bring this up? Does she just dismiss your fears, if so then you need to tell your therapist that she is less then useless and for her to tell your mom that she is not the therapist for you. If she refuses, telling your mom that you refuse to see her anymore due to her being not right for you.
There is no way to ensure that you never throw up or get food poisoning, but in 31 years I have never got food poisoning and can count on one hand the number of times I have thrown up. You need to deal with the phobia and not focus on the possibility so much.
If you want to discuss your phobia feel free to drop me a line and I will do my best to help give you suggestions to deal with your fear.
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You need to pressure your mom into getting yourself a therapist that specializes in phobias. I am the same way when it comes to throwing up i dont eat for days & even after those couple days i start eatting again but i never the stuff that caused me to throw up.
if your mom will now get you a therapist you need to ask your current therapist to get you one. and im pretty sure she will either get you a number or she'll contant one herself.
Suicide does not solve anything & neither does anorexia. The website i put below will explain that you can get over this & you need too.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
If you have any questions i right here.
Kimm:)
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