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ok so heres the deal, this girl named brandi keeps on hitting on my boyfriend. I confronted her about it a few times and shes just like no i used to like him but i really dont anymore. So then me and her started talking more and more, and it seemed like we were becoming friends. But then tuesday at the basketball game i was cheering and she was sitting in the stands with him i guess and he said that she tried to hold his hand. She said she wouldn't do that and that she really didn't like him like that. Im goign to confront her again but im not sure what to say this time. How can i make her stop? I have tried everything!!! please help! (link)
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Where's your boyfriend in all this? Doesn't he have a choice about whether or not he's going to let her hold his hand? Unless he's actually an inflatable doll, HE'S the one who you should be talking to.
That girl is clearly out to get him, but it's not like he's helpless. Talk to him; tell him how you feel. If he loves you, he'll tell that girl to leave him alone, and he'll make it stick.
If he's not strong enough to resist her, then I'm afraid this is only the beginning of your problems. Because there are a LOT of girls out there who like to steal other people's boyfriends, and if your boyfriend is really that weak-willed, you're going to lose him sooner or later.
But if he IS that weak, if he doesn't love you enough to chose you over any other girl, then he's not worth keeping as a boyfriend.
Talk to him.
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Do you believe in Palmistry? (link)
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No. There's absolutely no evidence for it, any more than phrenology (the study of bumps on the head) or astrology. It's all nonsense.
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I've been making my own website for a while but i need some help. Does anybody knowa ny good sites for graphics, backgrounds, music (with words), pictrues or anything else that i can put on my site. Thanx (link)
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Google Images is a great source for graphics of all kinds. Of course, some of them are copyrighted; try to stick to non-copyrighted material.
In most cases nobody will know or care, but if you steal something from a major corporation, they WILL come after you. In any case, it's better to stick to the free stuff.
It would be even better to make your own graphics. There are freeware graphics programs online, and if you're not good at art, maybe you have a friend who is. Although you can do some amazing things even if you're NOT good at art. I suck at art (to put it mildly), and I was able to create some pretty popular graphics, including all the backgrounds and art for my own site.
Another option is to take some digital photos and use those.
As for music...most of it is copyrighted, and I can't tell you to steal stuff.
I generally recommend creating your own content, in any case. Your site should reflect YOU, after all. Think about what your interests and hobbies are - do you write? sing? play an instrument? Almost anything you do could be represented on your site.
Have fun!
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okay to start off, my boyfriend is my younger brothers best friend
and he's a grade younger then me
but hes still quite 'mature' and expects a lot out of the relationship
anyway, we got to second base, aka, he felt me up
and I asked him not to tell anyone, ecspecially my brother
that was a week ago, and i found out that he told everyone about it today
im quite bothered by that, obviously
i dont want to dump him though...im gonna have to have a chat with him, but i dont know what to say...any suggestions that will get the point across without making it sound like I want to end the relationship? (link)
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Sorry, but I have to agree with everyone else: he just proved that he doesn't respect you. And remember, boys can be great at SEEMING mature - they (we) will do anything to get a pretty girl - but the fact is that boys DON'T mature as quickly as girls.
You couldn't really ask for better proof than what he did, to be honest.
I don't think there's much of a future for your relationship with him. At best, you need to dial WAY back on intimacy and give him a chance to grow up.
He crossed a line. He betrayed your trust. If you let him get away with it, believe me, his behavior is NOT going to improve.
In other words, at the very least you'd better make it clear to him that what he did could end your relationship. Otherwise, he'll know that he can get away with anything. And that will NOT mean a happy ending for you.
Or for him, either. Most guys who disrespect women end up having unhappy love lives.
Good luck.
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Generally, when a guy says that he "doesn't date anymore" or is "putting off dating for a while", if he meets a girl that he likes, will he go for it or not?
He said that the reason for that is his last girlfriend screwed him over big time and most girls that live around here think they have to spread their legs to get attention and he isn't into that. He's 17
I'd prefer a guy's opinion. (link)
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It means he's putting up a pretty high barrier to dating, at least for the moment. Or, to be honest, it could mean that he just didn't want to date you and is trying to be nice about it.
If it's the first meaning, then he's being uncommonly decent. And it's certainly possible that he'll come around; at 17, that wouldn't be surprising. Male hormones at 17 are amazingly powerful. If you give him time, as little pressure as possible, and show him that he can trust you, that should certainly increase the chance that he'll feel able to date you - if he wants to.
I will say that in my experience a guy who has been really badly burned by a bad relationship can take many years before he gets over it and trusts women again. And he may NEVER be able to trust completely.
With marriage, it's even worse.
Good luck!
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so im in a really long relationship with my 16 year old boyfriend. im 17. weve been together about a year and a half. yes i love him, if i didnt then i wouldnt be with him. we fight over EVERYTHING! we cant joke about ANYTHING nemore. he just frustrates me SO QUICKLY! ive tried breaking up with ihm 6 times but it never works because i love him. how do i handle this? how do i make him not blame me? how do i not fight? how do i not get frustrated? thank you. (link)
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"how do i handle this? how do i make him not blame me? how do i not fight? how do i not get frustrated?"
Counseling. Couples counseling. No question.
With rocky relationships like this one the outlook isn't good. I honestly think that couples counseling NOW is the only way you two will have a real chance to make it work. Because believe me, relationships with a lot of fighting don't spontaneously improve all by themselves.
It takes work. But if you both WANT the relationship to work, I think - with help - that it will.
Good luck!
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Sorry this is long but please help me.
Well yesterday in school I told my one teacher i was going to my locker and went to another one of my friend's classes where the teacher doesn't care whos there. But he was actually teaching for once so i started talking to a friend that was in there (during his lunch period). This guy.."Bob" was in there and I sorta liked himt then. He came over to the door where I was and gave me a big hug and I walked out into the hall and stuff with him. So we talked for a little bit and I realized I did REALLY like him. So I saw him a lot more than usual the rest of the day and he gave me about 4-5 hugs each time and had his arm around me and everything. Well he even came to my locker after school and waited to walk out with me and he was like pretty much holding me and stayed with me til i got on my bus and didn't look to happy when i was talking to another guy. But the catch is..we just started talking again yesterday. And we hadn't really talked since him and my one friend broke up. I'm just wondering do you think he likes me cause to me it sorta seems like it and I really like him. what do you think? if you dont think he likes me..can you give me an idea of whats going on?
Thanks
(link)
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Believe me, guys don't hug and touch girls if they're not interested in them. He likes you.
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I am looking for a religion but I want one thats right for me. Can someone tell me every religion out there and what its about? Also for religions that require you to go to church is it possible to just stay home and do what you would at a church and still have it not be a sin? (link)
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Step one is for you to give some serious thought to WHY you're looking for a religion. Do you feel some lack inside? Some sort of need? If so, what is it? Once you know what you're looking for, you'll have a much better chance of finding it.
And please be careful. There are a lot of cults out there, and I've seen some people get into terrible situations. I know one girl who joined a cult, and later tried to saw off her tongue for saying "bad words". And she was one of the sweetest, nicest people I'd ever met! She ended up in a mental institution for years.
So please use your best judgement. There are some sophisticated groups out there whose sole purpose is to lure people in with friendship, peer pressure, and the opposite sex. Almost ANYONE can be sucked in by a set-up like that, no matter how smart and strong they are.
Don't ever let yourself get into a situation where you're isolated and dependent on others in the group to get home, or where others control what you can eat - weird though it may sound, one popular technique of brainwashing is to control your sugar and food intake.
Good luck!
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I am currently 17 years old.. 6 foot 3. But I have a awkard voice that makes me sound younger and smaller then I actually am.
Is there any way I can retrain my voice? By making it deeper and more normal.. right now I cannot stand listening to my voice when it is recorded. (link)
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Sapphire_Lily is right. Breath control is the key to retraining your voice. If you really get desperate, you might even try a few lessons with a voice coach.
Jack Nicholson didn't become a success until he re-trained his voice. Before that, he spoke an octave higher than he does now. So it IS possible.
Relaxation is also important. Make a conscious effort to relax your chest, shoulders, and throat. You might even want to look up relaxation and breath control techniques online, or at the library.
But you should also know that you hear your voice differently than others do, due to resonance. And you're almost certainly being harder on yourself than anyone else is. Plus, you're still developing; your voice is likely to go through some more changes.
Good luck!
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Okay I am doing really bad in Spanish and I dont really know what to do. I know the words and everything but my sentances arn't good at all. And I dont get how to put all the words together. Help por favor!!
Gracias (link)
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Everyone else has already given you some good answers, so I'll just add this:
Crazy as it might sound, you might want to leave your TV or radio on overnight, tuned to a Spanish channel while you sleep. Turn the volume low enough so that you CAN sleep, but loud enough that you can hear it fairly clearly. It make take a little testing to get it just right.
You'll still need to study and all that, of course, but your accent and instinctive sentence formation may improve. The more you're exposed to correct Spanish, the more likely you are to absorb the basic flavor of the language.
And the best thing is, you can do it while you're asleep. :D
Good luck!
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I am using Internet Explore Version 6 on Windows 98. For some reason whenever I click on a link it closes all the other open IE pages. I will rate high! (link)
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I did a little research, and so far I haven't found anyone else who has had this problem. But step one would be to make sure that Windows 98 and IE are both fully updated. That's pretty likely to fix the problem all by itself.
Do you have a pop-up blocker installed? Because what you're describing sounds as if it could be a malfunctioning pop-up blocker.
Another very good way to bypass this problem would be to install FireFox and make it your default browser. It's free, and you can get it here: http://www.mozilla.com/firefox/
By the way, although I despise Microsoft and loathe Bill Gates, I have to tell you that Windows XP is a LOT more stable than 98 - it's much superior, and well worth the money.
I realize that it's expensive, and you DO have to buy it - unlike older versions, it can't be easily copied or pirated - but it's a much better OS, much less buggy.
Good luck.
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Well if asked question on here about love before.
I was in love with this guy for like year and a half i started getting over him 3 months ago well i am now falling hard for this guy at my church. I was going to talk to one of the girls online that are from church see if she could help me out alittle bit. Well 2 min before i was about to talk to her i found he has a girlfriend. I dont love him but all i want to do is cry now it just doesnt seem fair. Nothing ever works the way i want something to work. especially when it comes to love. I serious just want to give up on love it self. It took all my strength to start liking another guy and as soon i let my self go i get hurt.
I really dont know what to do. I dont want to hear move on and wait he'll come around thats a crap answer i get it everytime and it doesnt work. Thanks. (link)
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I'm sorry; you've certainly had a harder time than you deserve. And there aren't any really great answers, unfortunately.
I'd say, though, that what you need to do is start looking for guys in places where you're likely to find them - and where the guys are likely to be single, unattached, and looking for a girl.
It would be helpful to know your age. If you're 18 or older, dating sites are one option. I recommend joining two, one for people who are into your favorite hobby or interest, and another more general one. Personally I had good luck with Match.com; I met my wife there.
Since you seem to get emotionally involved before you make a move, dating sites might work well for you. I will say, though, that getting attached like that does seem like a prescription for a lot of broken hearts. I realize that it might be hard, but it would probably be a good idea to try to slow your heart down, if you know what I mean.
You could also get out more. Church isn't a bad place to meet guys, but as you've already learned, some of them (probably most) are going to already be involved with someone, or married. You might try volunteering, or joining a club, or taking an evening class.
In any case, please don't give up. You could easily spend YEARS bitter and alone if you give up, and no one deserves that. Happiness is worth all the perseverance you can give it.
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At my school, we have a night event called 'Night of the Notables/Nobles', and we have to pick a 'notable achiever/person who made a positive influence in the world' to be for that day. We have to make a presentation in class as that person as well. Well, I'm a sophomore female, and I really don't know who to be! It can be a literary, scientific, historical, or musical, i.e, figure. But people such as Britney Spears and Hitler are out of the question, you know what I mean?
Do you guys have any suggestions as to who I should be? I don't want it to be a boring person either, because the most standoutish people make it to the actual night and get to present and stuff, so, yeah. And everybody's doing Oprah, so yeah, just no. (link)
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First off, thanks for putting Britney Spears and Hitler in the same sentence - that's a combination I haven't seen before, and it really made me laugh.
Second, you didn't mention if there were any restrictions? Does the person have to be an American, for example? Or alive? Do you want to stick to playing the part of a woman, or would you consider crossing the gender line?
In any case, Google is your friend.
If you want to have fun, though, go as Carrie Nation. She was the single major figure of the temperance movement, which banned alcohol across the entire United States for years. And she used to go into saloons with an axe, and smash them up - particularly the beer barrels.
All you'd need would be an old-fashioned dress (look at the picture in the link below), perhaps a gray wig, and an axe. It should probably be a rubber axe, just so you don't freak anybody out. But those are cheap at toy stores.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrie_Nation
You could also rant about the Demon Rum, and try to get people to sign temperance pledge cards - look those up, they'll probably surprise you. Actually, it's a role that you could have a LOT of fun with.
Have fun!
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That's right, the retarded science fair is soon and I don't have a project. I'm 15, and in grade 10 and I need a biology-related project. Does anyone know where I can even start? (link)
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Google. Always start with Google. That's the secret of life, you know.
You just need to know the right way to ask.
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where can i get a kitten for a cheap price i don't care if they are declawed or nothing...thanks (link)
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Check your local animal shelter. There may be a fee, and they may want references.
You could also check Craig's List, your local newspaper, and bulletin boards in local supermarkets. They often list free kittens.
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Okay, well I made a promise not to lose my virginity before I got married. Not only did I promise myself, but I promised my friend (let say his name is Mark). So.. I found this guy I'm totally heels over head with (lets say his name is Anthony). I fell for this guy, and within the first 3 months, we became intimate. This was back in September. We're still together, and going strong, but we do have sex. I know I broke that promise to myself, but my friend had JUST found out (months later) and now like thinks I'm so stupid, and that I hurt him and blah blah blah. Cuz he's my "best friend", and yeah if you can't tell, he likes me ALOT. And I feel like I've let him down. I love Anthony, I don't regret having sex with him, and I'll keep having it. But how do I tell Mark that he needs to move on, and that it's my own life. Please give me good answers, I'll give good ratings!! (link)
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"But how do I tell Mark that he needs to move on, and that it's my own life."
You could just tell him that, you know.
There's no way that you're not going to hurt him. There's no way to let him down easy. If he likes you, if he has a crush on you, if he's in love with you, there is NO WAY to say "I'm going to keep sleeping with somebody else, no matter how you feel" and not hurt him really badly.
But that's life. He'll survive. He has my sympathy, because I've been through the same thing, pretty much, but there's really nothing you can do to make it any easier on him. Just make your position clear, so as not to give him any false hope. And if you notice that you and he can't be friends any more - that is, if he's obviously still in love with you - then you need to talk to him about it, tell him you can't be friends with him any more (and why), wish him good luck, and say goodbye.
And please don't tell him that he'll find some other girl or anything like that. It might be true (probably is), but that's probably the last thing in the world he'd want to hear from you.
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This is so random, but you really look like
Paul Giamatti (link)
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Nah, that's just trick photography. I actually look more like Orson Welles. :D
Sorry about the late reply; I was taking a long break from the site.
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dude. thanks! you gave me some really good advice and im starting to feel ALOT better... :):) (link)
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I'm glad I was able to help! I'm only an L1 mod, though, so I'm afraid I don't know who you are or which question of yours I answered. Still, I guess it doesn't matter, as long as you're feeling better! :D
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Ok well I just started making steady progress with my crush of three years (i.e. talking to him, giving him donuts).
My problem is with my personal feelings. I'm always happy when he's around and stuff but when he leaves, sometimes I get really -depressed-.
For example, for the past three days we've been making up time for auto (we haven't ever had a class before but we had to make up time for the same teacher). We haven't been working together but we've been spending a lot of time in the same room, having conversations with teachers and other students.
Today, he shook the teachers hand to thank him for making up the time, got into his car and left. I got so sad at that moment. I feel so stupid because I know I'll see him next week but I couldn't shake off this awful feeling.
I still feel crappy. This has happened a few times. I wanted him to come back so badly. My friend started getting concerned and I'm getting concerned too because just the act of him leaving was enought to set me off.
Is this normal? I haven't heard of somebody feeling so low just because her crush went home. Is there something mentally wrong with me because I was happy all day and then he left and I'm like :(
Ok wow, that was long. Any help is appreciated (link)
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That's pretty normal crush behavior. You shouldn't worry that it's abnormal or weird.
But you might want to give yourself a little emotional space from him. I know that that's hard, but it's not really healthy for your total emotional state to depend on whether or not he's around.
It's NORMAL, but it's not good for you. But there may not be much that you can do about it. If it helps, crushes do pass with time.
Oh, just a suggestion: since you've been crushing on him for three years, maybe you should ask him out? If he says no, that may help you to de-crush, and then (after a period of recuperation) you will be open to finding someone else, someone who can return your feelings. Heck, there might be someone out there who has a crush on YOU and you just didn't see it! :D
And of course, he might say yes.
Good luck!
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First of all, I would like to say that I really respaect your column and am coming to you for advice because yours was the best of the answers to my original question.(older love, asked a few weeks back).
The situation has now developed slightly.After breaking up with me, the man I met at church confessed that he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend back in the U.S.(he is American, I am British and living in London where he is now based). He says that while he wants to be with her, he is not sure whether it is going anywhere and whether she will take him back. Meantime, he wants to sleep with me in order to have sex and companionship, and says that he does have some feelings for me though not as strong as those for his ex-girlfriend.I am in real doubt as to what to do. He is forty-seven now, while I am only twenty-two. I REALLY care about him and don't like to think of him being lonely, yet at the same time I have to look out for myself.
I am asking you, as a man near enough his age, whether you think we have the slightest chance of a future or whether it's hopeless.Of course I know that you can't know from the inside, but even a general idea would be a big help.Thanks in advance. (link)
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I'm awfully sorry to write back so late, but I was actually off Advicenators for quite a while; it was starting to take up too much of my time and my life. Your question came during my "away" period.
I only just saw your question in my inbox yesterday. At first, I didn't notice that it was old. But I just saw your recent question, checked the date, and now I must apologize.
Having said that...I hate having to give you this answer, but honestly, I don't see a future for you with him. His heart is elsewhere, and that almost certainly won't change.
Sleeping with him will (did) only increase your emotional involvement with him, and led to your being hurt. And honestly, at this point, you really need to take care of yourself before anything else; you've been through one of the most painful things that a person can suffer, unrequited love, and you need time to recover.
I've been there too, by the way, and I remember how much it hurts.
I don't know if this helps (in fact, it probably doesn't), but there IS someone out there for you, someone who will return your love. You're certainly not ready for that now - as I think I mentioned last time, I'm sure the thought of being with anyone else is almost sickening to you right now, and that's natural - but if you can find a way to take a break from love and romance, you should.
You need to give your heart time to heal. And although it's probably almost unimaginable right now, in time you WILL heal. You won't forget him, but you will be able to move on. And you'll find someone who can and will will return your love.
It could be a year or more, but it will happen. In the meantime, find ways to keep busy; it's a cliche, but the less time you have to dwell on the recent past, the better.
I think you're an exceptional person. Your questions clearly show an unusual insight and a very large heart. I'm truly sorry that this has happened to you. Give yourself time, and you'll find someone who can fully appreciate you and reciprocate your love.
I wish you all the best.
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