Guys and girls can absolutely be friends and not have any romantic feelings towards one another. My best friend is a guy, and he was my man of honour at my wedding!

Just because you like someone's personality doesn't mean that you're going to be romantically attracted to them. That takes sexual chemistry, visual appeal, all sorts of things that aren't required for friendship.

Think of it this way: does it mean that a bisexual person can't have any friends because they'll constantly want to date all of them? Not at all.

We like people for different reasons. We choose our friends for different qualities than we choose our partners.

Everyone else has covered the legal aspects, so I'll just agree with them.

As for "going easier", I can tell you that they don't. Absolutely not. My parents lived next to a female teacher who had a long-term affair with an underage student. During the lead-up and during her trial, her character was mercilessly dissected. Embarrassingly public details came out about her body. She was vilified and made into a public object of disgust.

If you like your teacher, you won't put her in a position like this. If she's a halfway decent person, she won't be interested (it's highly unethical even if it was legal)

I can't vouch for how it feels when it's done with a needle, but most places (Claire's, hair salons, etc) use a gun.

They'll draw a dot on your earlobe to show where the earring should go, then they use a thing that's a bit like a stapler. The scariest part is the noise... it might make you jump a bit because it goes off right in your ear. Other than that, it's almost exactly like a pinch, and then your ear will feel hot and kind of tingly for a bit. It really doesn't hurt that badly at all.

Make sure that you follow the instructions that the piercer gives you after you get your ears done. Keep moving the earrings, and wash them often so they don't get stuck.

Keep in mind that I don't necessarily know all the details of the argument (exactly what was said, history, etc). I'm making my suggestions based on the fact that it sounds like there was one time that this happened to you, and that Anna's a good friend otherwise.

It doesn't sound like Anna randomly snapped at you. It sounds like she was upset, let it stew for a while, then let you know what she was thinking. Not a crime, in my books.

Take a step back and look at this objectively for a minute. You call and cancel plans, saying that you're too sick to leave the house. Then you go to work, which is probably more strenuous and less fun than going out. Is it not going to look like you lied about being ill so that you could skip out on plans and go to work instead? I'm not saying that's what you did, but you have to see why Anna could believe that. If it happened to me, I'd be furious with my friend for lying to me.

Keep in mind that everyone deals with anger differently. I blow up immediately... one might even call me "unstable". My husband, on the other hand, simmers with resentment and refuses to speak for hours or days. Just because Anna chooses to deal with her anger a little differently doesn't mean that she's crazy, just that she's different from you. Ideally we'd all sit down and discuss our differences calmly and objectively like adults, but that's just not the reality. People are flawed, and that's that.

Anna was licking some wounds of her own, feeling hurt and betrayed by you (again, not necessarily what you did, but it is clearly how she feels, and that's what matters in all of this). She took some time, then fired off a note to let you know why she's so upset. Now your response is to be mad at her for being mad at you. See where that doesn't really make sense?

Just because we don't like the tone with which someone accuses us of something we've done, it doesn't mean that we get out of apologizing until they've apologized for being "mean" first. We're all harsh when we're angry, and just because you and I save our e-mails in the draft folder and re-read them the next day before sending them doesn't mean that Anna does. We've got two separate issues here: you ditching a friend, and Anna being a little harsh in her accusations. If you wait for her to apologize first, you're going to lose a friend forever over a petty argument.

Your proposed response boils down to "I'll apologize to you if you apologize to me first. I'm giving you the silent treatment until you do." I know I'm being harsh here, but it's not altogether mature. This isn't a time for petty dissection of tones and word usage, it's a time for manning up and taking responsibility for how your friend is feeling right now because of your actions. Apologize, no strings attached.

"Anna, I'm so sorry that I have hurt you. I promise that I didn't skip out on our plans so that I could work: I just figured that if my evening was already shot, I might as well make some money while I was suffering. I didn't consider how that would look, and it was really insensitive of me."

The end. No "BUT you shouldn't have been so harsh, I'm not your friend any more." Wait until after the main issue has been resolved to confront Anna about the tone of her e-mail. And when you do, make sure it's "I understand that you were upset with me, but that e-mail was really surprising and hurtful" not "You're always snapping at people and you're unstable."

Backing out of the trip would be incredibly awkward. Even if you ask the organizer to stay uninvolved, they're likely to make themselves involved out of curiousity/concern. Then everyone's going to see your dirty laundry and everyone's going to have an opinion. Awkward. There's no reason why you have to back out at all.

This trip is an ideal time to remember why you're friends with Anna. Maybe she's hilarious, maybe she mixes a mean broken-down golf cart or maybe she's always the first person to come up with something fun to do. Either way, there was a reason why you became friends with her in the first place. Things might be awkward at first, but if you have apologized there's no reason why you won't have fun. Nothing mends rifts like time spent together.

Case in point: my younger sister has a habit of stewing for months or years, then lashing out like a viper when she's mad at you. She's the master of internal resentment. She had been kind of nasty at my bachelorette party, and she was supposed to be my only bridesmaid. I e-mailed her a month or so before the wedding to ask if there was going to be a repeat of the party behaviour, and she blew up. She sent a rant saying nasty things about my character, claiming that a chronic illness that I have was just a ploy for attention, things like that. Extremely hurtful, extremely harsh. I said that I was willing to let things go if she would apologize for being harsh. She wouldn't. Because of that stalemate, I nearly walked down the aisle with only one person standing up for me. In the end, I had to just suck up my hurt so that I didn't ruin a good thing. I'm glad I did, too, because I could have lost my only sister forever because I couldn't deal with the fact that she was harsh in a series of e-mails. Don't let that happen to your friendship.

Masturbation is totally normal. Most of us do it at some point or another, and it's part of a healthy sex life.

The best thing about masturbation is that it's basically risk free. You can't get pregnant, you won't get STIs and it makes you feel good. It's a win-win-win!

There's a very good reason to want your girlfriend's best friend's approval. That girl is going to be one of the biggest voices in your girlfriend's ear, and you want to make sure that you're on her good side.

Let's say that your girlfriend is having doubts, as we all do in relationships from time to time. If her friend likes you, she's more likely to say "Stay with him, you idiot!" If she doesn't, she's more likely to persuade your girlfriend to ditch you. A best friend is the first person we go to with problems and the first person we listen to for advice. You don't want to mess this up.

Keep being nice. Don't be overly fake about it, but treat her well, and most importantly of all treat your girlfriend well! If you are a good guy, her friend will have no choice but to warm up to you.

It all depends on why you're asking.

The only tried and true way to prevent pregnancy is to use birth control methods. The pill, condoms, implants, IUDs, the Depo shot... there are lots of ways to prevent pregnancy, and some of them are low-cost. Smoking causes fertility problems, but not enough to make it a reliable birth control method.

Smoking can reduce fertility, so if you're trying for a baby both you and your partner will want to stop. Smoking during pregnancy can actually harm the fetus, so if you do get pregnant you should stop.

Here's a list of effects that smoking has on pregnancy, both before and during:

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/health_advice/facts/pregnantsmoking.htm

It doesn't make you a horrible person. It probably wasn't the best decision for you, based on your reaction, but you can't think less of yourself because of this.

Everyone makes mistakes as they discover their sexuality. Goodness knows I've had my fair share of disgusting feelings because of past sexual mishaps. You tried something and didn't like it, and now you know better. At least you've learned in a situation like this. You know that you're better than just some throw-away piece of meat, and that's why you're feeling bad. For some women, casual sex works. For you it doesn't, at least not now. That's okay.

The only "bad" thing about this is that it sounds like safety wasn't ideal. If you're going to have any contact with someone's sexual organs, they should be wearing a condom. Even for oral sex. Also, being in a situation like that isn't safe to start with. You didn't know the guys, and you were forced into a situation where you were alone with one of them. Make sure that you're not stuck like that again, because sexual assault is a very real possibility.

Stay safe, and don't hate yourself. You're not disgusting and you're not a skank. You're a girl who made a decision that wasn't right for her. Be smart and learn from this mistake, and you're golden :)

Nipples aren't an on switch. It's not like flicking them will turn you on instantly!

Everyone's got different things that turn them on. Erogenous zones can be found all over the body: the ears, nipples, feet, neck... it's different for each person. My husband loves it when I kiss his neck, I HATE it when it's done to me.

Even though nipples are a fairly universal erogenous zone, they require different levels of stimulation depending on personal preference. Some people are extremely sensitive and hardly need them touched. Others need to have them pulled, bitten or twisted to really get anything out of it. It's entirely possible that you are affected, just not by what he's doing. Have him try different things and see if you like any of it. If it's not working for you, have him stop, because there's no point in you sitting there bored while he goes to town.

We can't all make huge changes in the world. We're not all going to start revolutions and end up in the history books. We are all capable of making change, though.

Life isn't so much prison as it is set within strict guidelines. You're free to move within those guidelines and be comfortable (for example, you generally have to work to have food and shelter), but you can do it in your own way. You choose what you do, within certain limits, and you choose how you do it.

There are always ways to put a little of yourself in what you do. I do it by going into everything gung-ho and doing my best. Some rebel a little, or do unconventional things. When viewed from far away, people seem like a homogeneous blob of a species: from close up, even the most bland-looking of populations have their own personalities and ways of navigating the world around them.

But you're looking for positive ideas about hope and change. So am I. That's why I'm here. Maybe I'm just talking to myself half the time, but sometimes I really help people. I use my (sometimes) painful past experiences to help others avoid bad situations, or to deal with ones they've stumbled into. I also work for a non-profit and do my very best to make an impact on the lives of the disadvantaged people I work with. At school, I try to help others where I can.

If you're looking for ways to make a difference in the world, you don't even have to leave your couch. Start out here. Answer a few questions here and there and you'd be surprised how great it makes you feel. Go out into your community and try volunteering. Find a cause you believe in and support it. Do you see a deficiency in support systems already in place? Create your own to fill the gap. Get involved and have fun doing it. Even the smallest things can have a huge impact on a person's life.

I don't believe in God or an afterlife. I do things the way I do because I believe that the only way to be immortal, to leave a permanent imprint on the world, is to touch the lives of others. If you help just one person, you change the route of that person's life. Then the people around them are impacted, and the ripple effect spreads. All we need is that one little agitation to get it started. You can be that agitation... we all can!

Without knowing what the experiment was, we can't help you with this specifically. Results vary depending on what you're doing, so we can't tell you what to look for unless we know.

As for the discussion part, generally I cover a few different things.

- what was expected to happen
- what actually happened
- what differences there were
- what accounts for those differences
- any sources of potential error

Let's say that you enjoy romance movies. You enjoy watching movies with unrealistically beautiful men with amazingly perfect jobs treating women unbelievably well. It's an escape fantasy for you in this case, right? Would your boyfriend have the right to get mad at you? Porn is the same for others.

"He's just a guy" isn't an excuse. Really, he doesn't need an excuse. Excusing a behaviour implies that there's something wrong with it, and watching porn is not a crime (unless you live somewhere where it's illegal). Believe it or not, both men and women watch porn, and there are all types, from trashy and unrealistic to porn directed towards women and couples. I watch porn regularly, sometimes alone and sometimes with my husband. It's not necessarily a bad thing.

It doesn't make you a bad person being jealous, but it is bad that you are. Why is it bad? Because it's harming you and it's harming your relationship. You can't change someone else's behaviour, but you can change your reactions to it.

If your boyfriend was cheating on you, or flirting excessively with other women, or spending all his money in strip clubs, I'd advise that you set an ultimatum. However, in this case you really need to look into whether this is worth it or not. Are you willing to lose him over porn? If not, then you're going to have to look to yourself first, not him.

It's entirely possible to compromise on this. For example, my husband used to watch a particular type of porn that I felt led him to develop unrealistic expectations for our sex life. I reminded him that I don't mind him watching porn so long as it doesn't cause problems, and told him that I'm really not comfortable with him watching this particular type. He's stopped, and things are just dandy now. If you set boundaries within your comfort zone (frequency, type, etc) that are reasonable, without putting direct restrictions on his behaviours, he's far more likely to meet you in the middle. You can't control others, but compromise is totally possible in a relationship.

Have you ever ended up bruised after being in a hot tub, sitting right against the jets?

Chances are that you've done the same to yourself. Having high-pressure jets blasting against a sensitive area like that is going to cause some pretty nasty bruising.

As for the bleeding, it's very possible that you broke your hymen if you were pointing the jet up inside of you.

If the soreness doesn't go down within a few days, or if you notice bleeding again, please tell your parents. Any anger they show is worth it to make sure that you're healthy and safe.

If he has cheated on you, you should be insisting on condoms regardless of whether you're on birth control or not. You don't know what he could have brought home, and some STIs take up to 3 months to show up in tests.

As far as I'm concerned, if you need him to wear a clown nose to feel safe and secure when having sex with him, he should wear the freaking clown nose. Call his bluff and respect yourself. Don't have sex unless he is wearing a condom.

I would also suggest that you talk to your doctor about alternative methods. There are lots of different ways to go about birth control.

The best thing I ever did was learn how to knit. It's really not hard, and it's not expensive unless you buy the really fancy yarns.

You can get everything you need at Wal-Mart or a typical craft store. Get yourself a set of really big knitting needles, like a size 15-17. They should be over a centimeter around. Then grab a couple of balls of thick yarn, either bulky (size 5) or super-bulky (size 6). If all else fails, read the label. It'll tell you what size of needle to use with that particular gauge of yarn.

That's all you need! Hop on Youtube and look up instructions on how to cast on, knit and cast off. Cast on stitches until the scarf is about as wide as you'd like it, then knit each row. Cast off when it's as long as you want it and you're done! A scarf made like this usually takes me 6-8 hours, and you can do it in front of the TV.

Don't feel weird. Everyone has their own quirks when it comes to what they like, and yours is incredibly harmless so long as it's not interfering with your ability to connect with people.

Just because your particular tastes lean to the unconventional doesn't make you a creep or a weirdo. It's not a symptom of mental breakdown or illness. You just know what you like, and what you like is bald ladies. I dated a guy who had a thing for super morbidly obese women once. Unconventional? Yes. But I wouldn't have called him weird.

You might even find that you're able to have more meaningful relationships, oddly enough. I have a friend who buzzes her head on a regular basis, and she finds that most men are put off. So you have an advantage: if you do meet an attractive woman with her head shaved, you won't be held back by the lack of hair!

In the end, when it comes to having a meaningful relationship, looks don't matter a whole bunch. Even if you don't end up with your physical ideal (and who does, really?) you'll end up with a lovely lady who is right for you.

If you eat your thighs and bum back on, you might find yourself with a few undesirable extra bits!

One of my friends is naturally tiny. In high school she weighed 89 lbs and was straight up and down. The only thing that really worked for her was working out.

It all depends on what your doctor okays, but squats don't require any special equipment, they're easy to do, don't take long and they do wonders for your bum and legs! Just make sure that with a history of health issues you're okay to start exercising.

I'm not even going to get into what a bad idea it is to start having children at 16. That's a whole other kettle of fish.

There are ways to circumvent condoms, but it would be a horrible, horrible thing to do to him to intentionally get pregnant when he's taking precautions.

Relationships are about trust. Actively trying to get pregnant without your boyfriend's consent would be a huge betrayal of trust. If you do get pregnant and he finds out it's because you were trying, he will leave you. I can pretty much guarantee it. He's not going to take too kindly to being played for a fool. No guy would.

Your boyfriend doesn't want children with you right now. Forcing him into fatherhood is not a good way to go. Would you want the father of your children dragged kicking and screaming into it, or would you want him involved and happy? If you think he's going to be ready to settle down and play happy family, you've got another thing coming. He might step up and do the right thing, but he could also bolt. Or he could be resentful and miserable. Not a nice thing to do to him if you really care about him.

Enjoy the time you two have alone together for now. There's plenty of time to plan a family later in life.

It's easy to fall into the pit of "I am ugly and therefore worthless". We've all been guilty of it at one time or another. I know I spent a good chunk of time wailing to my mother when I was a teenager about how hideous I was.

The big thing is to separate your looks from your self-worth. You were born with your looks. Even if you were ugly (which I doubt), you're not a bad person for being born ugly. How you look has nothing to do with what sort of a person you are.

I have known some very beautiful women who are, at the same time, absolutely hideous. Physically they're gorgeous but their empty, ugly personalities really seep out and mess up the whole image. I've also known average looking women who are stunningly beautiful because of their strength, their sense of humour, their kindness and compassion. I know it seems totally cliched (and I would have laughed at this as a teenager) but beauty really does come from inside.

Take care of yourself. Stay clean and look reasonably put together, and that's really going to be enough. If you take the time to look like you care about and respect yourself, you'll do just fine. Imagine if all those nasty girls who spend an hour on their hair and makeup every day spent 5 minutes instead and then the remaining 55 minutes improving themselves: wouldn't that be a big difference?

You can't define your self worth by how you look. Your eye colour, hair style and body shape aren't who you are. They're just packaging for your true self. Learn to love yourself for your actual beauty: your personality.

If you think I'm crazy, here's a real-life example. In my group of high-school friends, there were 2 models who were really mean and about 6 of us who were average to below average. Guess who's married, 10 years later? The models are chronically single, 2 of the average ones are married, and the rest are in long-term relationships waiting on engagement. In the long run, it really, really is what's on the inside that counts.

Honestly, everyone has at least one parent that they don't see eye-to-eye with. My mother (we call her Eeyore) has this delightful tendency to rain all over everyone's parade, so I know what you're dealing with.

Every person is different. We can't change other peoples' behaviour, but we can change how we react. In my case, whenever I start getting pissed off with how much of a killjoy my mother is, I have to remember that she's just different from me and probably finds my cockeyed optimism really obnoxious. Sometimes it takes some really hard remembering to get over being annoyed. Sometimes it takes me going out for a half hour walk, or shutting myself in my room for a while when I go to visit.

Just remember that you love your father and that he is human, with human flaws. He is not his pessimism. He is his wonderful self, with pessimism layered over top of that. So grit your teeth, force a smile and think of the good whenever the bad gets overwhelming :)

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

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