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My Dad Is Getting Hard To Be Around. What Should I Do?
My mom and I have a great relationship. We go to lunch, movies, and other fun things together all the time. My dad and I used to be close and occasionally, we still do fun stuff together, but he gripes a lot and sometimes, he can take the fun out of stuff because he gripes all through it. In the past, I spent all of the time I was home in my room and my dad and I don't even have dinner together anymore because he has to eat way early. On Halloween, I had a bad health scare and that night and November 1st, I spent time in the living room watching tv with my parents (I don't like to be in my room alone when I'm scared about something). My dad said he really liked me spending that time with him, so I've kept it up since then and it's been nice. I felt like we had a good new relationship and the weekend before thanksgiving, I even went out of town with him for a day and had a great time. It's been cool, but ever since that weekend, he's been griping a lot again and making me lose my desire to be around him. He's hard to talk to because he doesn't see what he's really like and doesn't agree with you when you tell him. I don't want to go stay in my room all evening again, but it's going to be hard to be around him if he stays this much of a killjoy. What would you do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Honestly, everyone has at least one parent that they don't see eye-to-eye with. My mother (we call her Eeyore) has this delightful tendency to rain all over everyone's parade, so I know what you're dealing with.
Every person is different. We can't change other peoples' behaviour, but we can change how we react. In my case, whenever I start getting pissed off with how much of a killjoy my mother is, I have to remember that she's just different from me and probably finds my cockeyed optimism really obnoxious. Sometimes it takes some really hard remembering to get over being annoyed. Sometimes it takes me going out for a half hour walk, or shutting myself in my room for a while when I go to visit.
Just remember that you love your father and that he is human, with human flaws. He is not his pessimism. He is his wonderful self, with pessimism layered over top of that. So grit your teeth, force a smile and think of the good whenever the bad gets overwhelming :)
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