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Why doesn't the BFF like me, and why do I care?
Hello, my name's Brent, and I'm 20. I'm in a bit of a pickle with my girl friend's best friend. She doesn't like me. At all. And I don't get why! Anyway, if it's real love, it shouldn't matter what anyone thinks about it, right? But... I can't stop thinking about it! I REALLY want her BFF's approval. Why is that? Why do I care? It shouldn't matter, yet I keep sucking up to her, like laughing at her jokes, opening doors for her, etc. Now keep in mind, I DO NOT love the BFF in the slightest. But I like her as a person, and I DESPERATELY want her approval. So, my question, why do I want her approval so badly? Thanks folks!
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Wow, you're quite the pleaser, aren't you?
Look guy, it is inevitable you will encounter people you don't see eye to eye with because everyone has a different sensibility. So stop worry about her friend!
Now, if her friend is around when you want private time with your girl that is a problem. I actually broke up with a chick once, in part, because her friends were morons and were around way more than I wanted. Talking to her about it did no good, so I hit the eject button on the relationship.
I recommended a reading of Sartre's No Exit for you.
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There's a very good reason to want your girlfriend's best friend's approval. That girl is going to be one of the biggest voices in your girlfriend's ear, and you want to make sure that you're on her good side.
Let's say that your girlfriend is having doubts, as we all do in relationships from time to time. If her friend likes you, she's more likely to say "Stay with him, you idiot!" If she doesn't, she's more likely to persuade your girlfriend to ditch you. A best friend is the first person we go to with problems and the first person we listen to for advice. You don't want to mess this up.
Keep being nice. Don't be overly fake about it, but treat her well, and most importantly of all treat your girlfriend well! If you are a good guy, her friend will have no choice but to warm up to you.
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