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humorist-workshop
Guy and girl just being friends.
18/f. I've stumbled upon somebody talking about guy and girl friendships. I read it and I disagree, due to personal experience, of course. I have two best guy friends. I hang out with the one more than the other but I can talk to the other about everything. I'm told all the time that I will wind up dating one of them. Some say that about the first guy, some say that about the second guy but everybody and I mean EVERYBODY thinks that I will date at least one of my guy best friends.
Anyway, the saying is "A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point, they will fall for each other.. maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe to late or maybe forever."
The gist of this is basically: what do you think about this saying? Can guys and girls be just friends? Why? Why not?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Guys and girls can absolutely be friends and not have any romantic feelings towards one another. My best friend is a guy, and he was my man of honour at my wedding!
Just because you like someone's personality doesn't mean that you're going to be romantically attracted to them. That takes sexual chemistry, visual appeal, all sorts of things that aren't required for friendship.
Think of it this way: does it mean that a bisexual person can't have any friends because they'll constantly want to date all of them? Not at all.
We like people for different reasons. We choose our friends for different qualities than we choose our partners.
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I definitely think that guys and girls can just be friends if neither of you have feelings for one another, which is certainly possible. However, it is different if at least one of you has feelings for the other.
Yet typically, even if girls fall for their best guy friends they may still be able to remain friends, even if it is difficult or frustrating. However, I have noticed that when it is the other way around (the guy has feelings for his girl best friend), eventually the guy's pride gets in the way and he will become frustrated or begin acting different toward the girl.
Granted, not everyone is the same and this pattern may not apply to all girl/guy relationships, but it is just the pattern that I have noticed. But yes, I do think it's possible for guys and girls to be just friends : )
Skylar
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I believe girls and guys can be friends.
HOWEVER, the younger you are, the less likely it is to happen. "Being Friends" isn't something we are born knowing how to do. Most people don't really learn how to be friends with the opposite sex until they have quite a few romantic relationships behind them, and have really honed in on what they want from both relationships and friendships. In the early days of female/male friendships, those sorts of boundaries and expectations are still being formed, and the definitions almost always get fuzzy.
Also, there is, ya know, the science, which makes for interesting reading. This study was done last year and made quite a bit of a news. They found from interviews with heterosexual opposite sex friends that most women were able to be 'just friends' and most men remained open too, or hoping for, more from their female 'friends'.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
None of this is saying that men and women can't be friends - like I said, I believe they can be - but it should remind us that two people can experience the same relationship in totally different ways, and just because you feel certain that you are 'just friends' doesn't mean you can be certain they feel the same way, or that you both will always feel the same way.
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Many of my best friends are girls. Weirdly, they became my friends because I was once attracted to them, and wanted to pursue something 'romantic'. Then, once we got talking and got to know each other, we just became really good friends.
I too had the whole "are you two going out?" and "you two will get married to each other by 30, I'm sure of it" thing.
But I think guys and girls can be friends without there being anything there. I cannot possibly ever imagine being anything more than friends with one of my female friends. Not anymore, anyway. There's no particular reason - she's attractive, and is generally a nice person. It would just be odd though.
Sometimes it's easy for people to say things like "they can't be just friends" if they've never been in such a relationship, or if they've never experienced something like that. But once you've been in that situation, you can see why it is possible.
So in conclusion, I think men and women/boys and girls, can be friends with one another without romantic feelings taking over at any point. Maybe romantic feelings will be the reason why they are friends in the first place, but can you really count that? Because it was before they became friends.
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