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Guy friend confessed, but I like someone else! HELP?
okay, so i started working somewhere about a half a year ago, and my coworkers are REALLY awesome. i get along with a lot of 'em, and have made some pretty great friends. one in particular, Sam, and i have a lot in common, he's a REALLY cool guy. we both are passionate about art, music, theater, etc, and we have a lot of the same interests and hobbies. about 2 or 3 months ago, we started hanging out a lot, going to the mall, movies, art museum, and just plain having fun. He's become a great guy friend of mine.
THEN, there's another coworker, let's call him Will. Will and i have an... interesting relationship. it mainly consists of flirting. at first when we met, he just plain teased me. then as we got to know each other, the teasing turned into flirting, then EXTREME flirting, and now it's blatantly obvious something's about to happen. he's been flirting with me for 5 months. i have this feeling he's about to ask me out.
Sam confessed he had been crushing on me for a while recently. i told him that i was extremely sorry and that he is a GREAT guy, but i just don't feel the same. we were clear that we would not let things get weird between us, and that we'd remain good friends. Will on the other hand... I like him, (and have since before i met Sam), and i'm fairly certain Will likes me in return. Will and Sam both know each other, and are acquaintances, but they're not really that close. so, Sam doesn't know that i like Will, and Will doesn't know that Sam confessed. I don't know what to do... something's going to happen between Will and I soon, I just know it. but, what do i do about Sam? I really don't want to break his heart, and i don't want to come off as a sleazebag ho who goes out with one guy right after another guy confesses! Sam confessed recently, so the wound is still fresh. but, Will is about to make a move. I don't know what to do... please give me your opinions! did i handle something incorrectly? if Will asks me out, should i tell him to wait? or do you think that's unnecessary? WHAT should I do? xD! Heeeellplplp please! thank-you!
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Hey,
This situation is tricky. However, I do not think you handled anything incorrectly. You seem enjoy spending time with Sam and to really like his company, but you see him as just a friend, which there is nothing wrong with. While it is unfortunate for him because he likes you, it is not your fault that you cannot reciprocate these feelings. In addition, you are only human and having feelings for someone else is something you cannot help.
However, I think you still want to find a way to protect Sam's feelings, while ultimately getting to be with Will. Would it be uncomfortable for you to reproach Sam and to tell him how much you appreciate your friendship with him and that the reason you do not share his feelings is because you have had feelings for someone else even before you met Sam? This option is one possible approach. Or, if you do not want to bring up the subject again, since nothing has happened with Will yet, you can hold off until something serious does happen, and bring this point up to Sam.
I do not think Sam will view you as a hoe as you mention, considering it doesn't seem like you kissed Sam or fully lead him on (at least in the sense of kisses, etc); you were honest with him and tried to maintain your friendship, which I think was the right thing to do. And if he does see you this way, then that would be unfortunate, but unfair to you. Maybe just try to hold things off with Will a little longer if you can, just to let some time pass so Sam is not really hurt.
I hope this helps :)
Skylar
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WOW! i once was like sam i asked a girl and she rejected me,the first days i was really sad, and i knew she liked my best friend but slowly i got over it, so you could just wait, and if will confesses too just keep it between you two an dont tell sam for some time until you see him getting over it. you just need to wait ;)
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