|
I gave a blow job and hand job to guys in the park... I just need an anonymous opinion to help me figure out whether what i did was all that horrible.. Help!!
I'm 14 years of age and a girl. I myself and others view me as responsible, up until recently to be honest. I spent the weekend with my best friend and one of the other girls we hang out with, my friends mum was out along with her older brother while her two younger siblings slept, we got bored and decided to go for a walk, after a while we invited these two guys (that only my best friend knew) to the park up the road. after a while my best friend went off to 'do things' and the other went walking. the remaining guy asked me to give him a blow job, i protested for over half an hour till i finally gave in. After 20 seconds of giving him a blow job (on and off, so more like 8 seconds :L) i felt extremely stupid and reviled... i ran off telling him i couldn't go through with it... later on in the night, i gave my "sort of" friend a hand job... i felt like a complete skank for the rest of the night and this entire week. I just need an anonymous opinion to help me figure out whether what i did was all that horrible.. Help!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
I, think its all about growing up and the fact that you felt immoral for doing what you did, makes you kind of understand yourself a little bit more... (if you understand) ...
Maybe you should have been a bit more stubborn... But maybe it was for the greater good because you feel guilty for doing it, it doesnt make you a skank at all..
Growing up makes you see yourself for who you really are :)
]
So let me see: you put yourself in a position that obviously confused you and did something a bit rash and now you're condemning yourself? Why? Listen, sometimes people (including both you and me) do stupid things. It happens. You aren't a skank. So stop it with that.
The most valuable thing you can do with this experiencing is analyze it and determine what you can learn. You definitely need to be stronger with setting personal boundaries. So do that. But don't overthink this, okay? Step back emotionally, realize what happened and make a decision about what will happen if you find yourself picking up guys with your friends again (maybe that isn't such a great idea?)
]
You aren't horrible but your decision making at the time was. You shouldn't have gone to the park with guys you didn't know and should have left when the friend went off alone to engage in "things" with someone else.
The guy had you alone and vulnerable and pressuring you. You realize now you made poor choices and won't ever get into a similar situation. As long as you learn from that and felt remorse over bad choices you're okay.
The other "sort of friend" issue is a different incident. You knew him and wanted to do it and were aware of that and went through with it. The fact it was the same night as the first incident doesn't matter.
If it was consenting between both of you it's okay. If you later regretted it at least you know next time to think twice about doing it with someone you aren't well connected to.
What you need to do is know this was the wrong decisions to be making about sex and to NEVER put yourself in the same position again and just move forward.
If I were you and I sincerely hope you do this CHUCK the friend who got you in the park alone with the creep in the first incident. She's not really a friend and is a real liability. Bad crowd.
]
It doesn't make you a horrible person. It probably wasn't the best decision for you, based on your reaction, but you can't think less of yourself because of this.
Everyone makes mistakes as they discover their sexuality. Goodness knows I've had my fair share of disgusting feelings because of past sexual mishaps. You tried something and didn't like it, and now you know better. At least you've learned in a situation like this. You know that you're better than just some throw-away piece of meat, and that's why you're feeling bad. For some women, casual sex works. For you it doesn't, at least not now. That's okay.
The only "bad" thing about this is that it sounds like safety wasn't ideal. If you're going to have any contact with someone's sexual organs, they should be wearing a condom. Even for oral sex. Also, being in a situation like that isn't safe to start with. You didn't know the guys, and you were forced into a situation where you were alone with one of them. Make sure that you're not stuck like that again, because sexual assault is a very real possibility.
Stay safe, and don't hate yourself. You're not disgusting and you're not a skank. You're a girl who made a decision that wasn't right for her. Be smart and learn from this mistake, and you're golden :)
]
More Questions: |