about

Hi my name is Angel, that's my real name. I'm a young adult now, I've had this advice column for years, but I made another one under the name anq3l_xo when I thought I couldn't access this one. A little bit about myself. I am a student, both in college and high school. I work as a nanny part time. I want to be a lawyer when I "grow up." I believe I've done a lot of growing up in my short life. I have conquered an obsession over drugs and alcohol in the last year and a half. I'm sober now and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I'm happy now. I'm in an absolutely blessed relationship with someone that I truly care about and love with all of my heart. I have been through things that you kids have nightmares about. I have seen, heard, and witnessed a lot of things that would make full grown men cry. I believe that I am innocent now, because I don't live that old lifestyle anymore. I have a lot of experience in a lot of things, and I've always been good at shedding light on dark situations. I come from a broken family, so I have step, half whatever siblings, and I just recently reunited with my real mother after she abandoned me 10 years ago. I have amazing friends today, but it wasn't always like that. I have a wonderful boyfriend and a great relationship with him, but let me tell you, it wasn't always like that. My sister is a drug addict/ alcoholic of the worst type. She's my best friend in the entire world, and I hope this 14 year old girl doesn't have to go through what I went through. I've come to understand that I can't help her, but I can help others through advice and by being of service to people around me. I'm always here to help, leave one in my inbox on this column or my other one, or my email which is listed, and I WILL get back to you. I know what it's like to feel like nobody cares, well I care about everybody. God bless. ~Love Angel



advice

Last night my best friends parents got into a car accident. Her dad had to spend the night in the hospital because he broke his ribs and lost a lot of blood. Her mom is doin ok, she has internal bruises but is taking everything well. The doctors thought that her dad was going to die, but he made it through the night. Ive never been in this sort of situation before. I dont know what to say or what to do. Please help, i really need to be there for my friend!!!!!!!

thats all you gotta do, be there for your friend, be there for her to talk to, let her cry on your shoulder, stuff like that. If you dont know what to say, that's okay. She'll understand. Bake her cookies or something, just be a good friend to her right now, all she needs is a little time and someone to be there for her, you're doing the right thing. Way to go. -Angel

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There is this boy..I can't even explain my feelings towards him. When i am with him, i get those cute little puppy love butterflies, but after a few weeks my feelings change for him. It feels like i dont like him anymore..then bout a week later i like him again. I cant handle it when he tells me he has a new gf. My jealous rage kicks in. Then i do anything in my power to break them up..inlcuding saying i will go back out with him. when he asks me back out, that weird undecided feeling comes back and i say no. He is soo perfect. he loves me for me and he tells me everyday, no matter if we are goin out or not, baby you are beautiful. He gives me the greatest and the worst feelings...am I just toying with him or do I truly want to be with him?!
signed,
Confused

You'll never know if you're meant to be until you try it. You should just go out with him, and see how things work, you will probably end up being happy together. Good luck. -Angel

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tomorrow me, my best friend, her boyfriend, and my fwb are going to spend the nite at a hotel as sorta a fun thing to do. im telling my parents that im sleeping over at my friends house but im scared shes actually gonna call my friends mom and find out we aren't there-she has a history of calling my friend's houses-is there anything i can tell her, or do to make sure she doesn't call??? do you think she'll even call guh need advice help fast

tell your mom that the two of you may be going to someone elses house, or that you'll make sure to call her to have her talk to the parent, because their house phone line wasn't working right, or you could have your friend call and pretend to be her mom, and leave a message on your mom's machine, something like that, I've got many more, IM me sillyangel869 im always on. Hope i helped though. Good luck and have fun! -Angel

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I've spent my time with these girls my best friends the ones I have my fun with and all, and my closest 3 best friends one of them I feel is like sort of going and not really talking to her as much I dont want her to feel as if shes left out because thats the last thing I ever want to do to her since she means so much to me. what should I do? I dont want to loose her as a best friend ever what do i do?

include her more, call her more, let her know that you are trying so hard to be there for her, I dont know the exact situation you're in but i know that with my friends, we always talk about when one of us feels left out, and if we dont, then its chaos. I dont know, talk to your friend, include her when you can, maybe she doesnt feel left out, but maybe she wants her space, you never know until you talk to her. Hope I helped and i really do hope that things work out for the three of you. -Angel

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well, at my school rap is reallllly gay. Everyone is punk or emo which i think is gay. If i tell them that they all hate me and get mad **my friends++ and if i say i like rap they think im a freak. What do I do? Please donttell me to not care about what they think...because i do.

also-- same subject

I like anime. No one does at my school but one or two totally ourkasts. sorry if thats mean but they are. And, no one knows i like anime, but i want to put anime layouts etc on xanga, notebooks, and just draw it. What do i do?/

thanks

well, unfortunately, you can't like both rap and anime, that's like, unheard of. Your friends may hate you for it, but it's basically, be happy with how things are, or make yourself happy and don't pay attention to what they think. Both are pretty hard, but we're not magicians, we just give advice, hope i helped though. Good luck. -Angel

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okay im 14/female and mi name is KASSIE!...and i rilly like this guy alot...we use to go out in lyke 6th grade..but i broke up with him for his best friend...but i didn't even lyke his best friend...now i rilly rilly like him alot...nd it seems like he kinda likes me too..but im not sure..lyke we never ever use to talk..but i called mi "friend" and i was talking to her on the phone about how i liked him so much..and she told me to just start talkin to him...so i did...and he started talking bak...but i think its kinda weird..but i think he knows i like him..but i don't know if he likes me or not? what do i do? uhhh this is so confusing..he was mi first "crush" :(

just be hella chill about it when you talk to him and be like remember when we went out in 6th grade blah blah blah and give little hints that you like him, but dont be obsessive, then try to find out if he likes you, however you want to do it, I would just be like "do you like me?" but there are different ways for different people, dont make a big deal of it, and don't worry about it and things will probably work out, Hope i helped and good luck. Keep me posted. -Angel

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OK, so my dad has cancer, my mom needs 2 hav surgery, my sista is a diebetic, my other sis just had a baby, and we hav alot of other things like that going on in my family. I really need an additude ajustment. When ever some1 else says somethin negitive, i become negitive, and every1 gets mad at me. How do i change this?

look at the more positive things, if someone says "well yeah, moms getting surgery" then you could just be like "well at least she`ll be better afterwords" if you think something negative, dont say it, I know its hard, but there are some things that just dont need to be said. Its really hard and I know that this probably wasnt much help, but good luck and I hope things work out for your family. -Angel

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Well ok my brother got a girl friend about 2 monthes ago maybe and sence then he hasnt been giving me any time to spend with me well I am 13 and he is 17 and he use to do every thing with me until his girl friend 15 (I think)started to always go every where with him and sometimes Michael (thats my brothers name)is mean to me now all because of Katie I think (THats michaels girl friends name)Should I tell him how I feel or wait until they brake up or what he is driving me nuts!!!

tell your brother that you miss him and want to spend more time with him, like you used to. Tell him how you feel, dont keep it bottled up inside and dont wait until they break up. Hope I helped and good luck. -Angel

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please help!!! fast!!! i am a 14 year old black girl and i am losing my hair. i don't think it's because of my health, but you i had permed my hair for a long time now. my hair has been growing ever since, but now it is all falling out.
i need help fast!!! does any one have any suggestions or what kind of a product to use to help. i am freaking out!!!!!!!!!

sometimes hair just does fall out, if its falling out in clumps a lot, then you should go to a salon, and not take advice from strangers, because they dont know your hair, but if i were you, i would just go straight to a salon, fast, but if it isnt that big of a deal, then just use a thickening shampoo, Pantene or something. Dont freak out, you'll probably be ok. Hope i helped -Angel

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Im a 16/f and my best friend iss a 18/m. Well, my best friend had a gf for 2-3 years and they were in love. he was madley in love with her and her back. Someting happened and now they broke up. that was 3 months ago. ONE month ago, my friend moved to Texas. He met this girl and they started dating, yesterday was theyre 1 month anniversary and they already had sex. I got mad at him because he met her a MONTH ago and already had SEX! I mean, I expected SO MUCH MORE from him. and He tells me its none of my buisiness, and yeah its not, but im his best friend also, and I just dont get it I tol dhim its rebound and he told me its not because he rebounded on me for a week . So he liked me for a week . and stopped. got a gf, and had sex with her. He tells me he has strong feelings for her and they applied to the same colleges So why the heck am I so pissed at him for having sex a MONTH into a relationship...? am i wrong for being pissed? and i cant figure out weather im jealous or not... i dont think i am. but just THINKING about him having sex with some girl he just met makes me upset. help :(

He moved to Texas and I live in AZ.

ok, yeah you can be mad at your friend for having sex with someone he just met, thats understandable, but the fact that hes 18 and having a life out in texas, he probably has things going on, and he may or may not really have strong feelings for this girl, but hes probably got some stuff going on. You have every right to be upset, but dont stress and obsess over it, if hes your best friend, you guys should be able to talk about it, hope i helped, good luck, i know this wasnt much of a help, but i tried, its tough, but just work it out and things will work out the right way, dont worry. -Angel

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ok theres this guy i dont like him but hes going out with this girl.This guy does not like this girl.And this girl doesnt like this guy. I guess they are just provin they can get some. But anyways they think im jealous and our conversastions lead to more. I even thought about suicide. Im a normal american girl. Im a cheerleader and very smart. I have NEVER even considered suicide. Im so scared i dont know whats happening!! PLEASE HELP!
Signed,
Not Suicidal

ok, well i dont really understand the guy girl situation, but there is never a good enough reason to kill yourself, if you've seriously considered it, you need to tell someone that can help you out, or just tell your best friend or something, they wont think you're weird for it or anything, but seriously, dont even think about suicide, because you may be getting rid of your problems, but you're destroying so many people that care about you. Forget about this couple, it just looks like there putting stress in your life that you dont need, don't stress on them, listen, life's a game, and the only way that you can beat it, is by workin thru tha rough times, so keep ya head up, stick it thru, en dont kill yourself, because once you do, not only do you lose tha game, but you give other people a reason to stop wanting to play. Good luck, i hope i got thru to u, things will get better, just watch. Enjoy life, to the fullest. -Angel

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i dumped my boyfriend because he lied to me about doing drugs. Everyone told me he was bad news and all my guy friends who were his friends too told me i deserved way better then him. I still wanted proff and i got it on the night b4 homecomming.i dumped him after i saw him smoking weed with some other guy. its been over a month since that night i caught him and broke up, but just the other day he randomly asked me y i broke up with him, i tried to explain telling him how he lied, but he didnt see that as a good enough reason. did i do the right thing?

yes you did the right thing, leave it at that, you were too good for this guy, but you don't have to listen to me, I'm just a random stranger from a website, listen to your friends, they're right, believe me though, you did the right thing, and if anything, you should be proud of yourself, because you can find better, any reason that you give a guy for breaking up with him is a good enough reason. Dont even stress on it. Keep ya head up. -Angel

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Well, I have two best friends, and i feel like the third wheel. Although they say im not, I feel like it and my parents see it too. I dont know if I should split off from them, or hang on? And, theyre always sort of depressing, and i dont like that...but every1 else in my school has best friends...i feel like i have none
help?

whenever there is 3 best friends, someone will always feel left out, no matter how much you talk to them about it, its gonna happen, but you know what, every time you talk about it, you become closer as best friends, if you really want to be friends with them and they want to be friends with you, then you guys can work it out, hang out more ya noe? but if you really dont feel included even if you talk to them afterwords and stuff, then you have a reason to "split off" because there are other people out there that would probably be happy to be your friend, and by they way, every friend you will ever have will have their ups and downs, depression-wise, well, anyways, I hope i helped and i really do hope things work out for you. Keep me posted :-D -Angel

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Ok so when I was six (i am 18 now) my mom died from Multiple sclerosis (MS), I never really knew her because she suffered alot of the years when I was young with MS and she could hardly communicate and move and do things, I have a few vivid memories of her but nothing really happy. (one memory was she asked me to get her something from the cupboard because she was in a wheel chair and to weak to do it and i couldnt hear her or understand and we both ended up being mad because of it) Well for my whole life I have never really had a motherly figure or knew how to be a girl like the other girls my age , like i try being really girly and do make up and such but i cant do it, my older sister was never really around much to help ... like i get upset all the time and I feel that I am never going to be a normal person because I was "abandoned" like... when I have children i will have NO idea what to do, like my boyfriends sister just had a kid and i was trying to change his diaper and a 12 year old but in and was like "this is to big of a job for you" . I am always upset over the fact that I have had no mother and am totally jealous of everyone who has had an easy life growing up with a mom. I guess i am asking what should i do to gte over this? And please no one respond with "get over it loser" blah blah... i dont want to hear it, i just want to know what someone else would do in this situation.

when i was young, my mom abandoned me and she is still alive, and I havent seen or heard from her in 8 years, so I know what its like. Its really hard not having a mom, but its one of those things in life that you cant really fill, there are ways to get over it, but its something you figure out on your own, not from random strangers on a website, I would really love to help you, because I know how hard it is, you've just gotta be strong and try to find a way to handle the emptiness, everyone has an emptiness in their life, you're not alone, just keep ya head up, stay strong, and be happy, I really hope I helped, its pretty tough. Good luck. -Angel

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ok so i have this so called friend that i hate so much and she hates me a lot to..........everytime we try to figure something out it seems to get bigger and bigger i mean i could be nice to her but it would be really hard for me to do that because i cant stand her in any way! you will probably just say dont hang out with her or anything....but my bestest friends are always hanging out with her so i have to hang out with her or i will lose all of my friends.....WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!?!? PLEASE HELP!

everybody has a friend like that, you cant be mean to her though, think of it as being the better person, dont get yourself disliked by people, dont give her any reason to dislike you and she wont, you guys dont need to talk about it, things will either chill out or blow up, so just lay low around her until youre pretty sure youre on her good side, just think of yourself as the better person without saying it, cuz when it comes down to it, youre being the more mature one by doing that. Hope i helped. Good luck. -Angel

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Just keeping you posted, I told him that I did like the guy I think it hurt him, but I'm glad he knew why I liked the guy to begin with! It helped alot and took alot of stuff of my shoulders... I feel alot better thanks to you Doc. Merry Christmas THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Wow. Im really happy for you and I'm glad that you got that off your shoulders. I'm really happy that I was able to help me and feel free to come to me anytime, I love hearing from people. Merry Christmas to you too sweetie. -Angel

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ok here is the thing my mom is really annoyin she is always gone with her boyfriend but it "also has to do with business". And me and my brothers don't like my moms boyfriend but if either of us tell her that she will say ' what i can't have my own personal life' but the thing is she always asks us if we like him and if we say how we really feel she will just change it around so it is our fault and she can't have a life. O yea and she is ALWAYS down where her bf lives on business and stays there for weeks at a time sometime. but my question is how can i tell my mom how i feel with out her changing it around so it is my fault cause i have tryed telling her how i felt before and she started crying and said fine then i won't have a personal life or make us more money when i would rather have less money and a mother then more money and a mother that is NEVER home??? i need help because this is ruining my life please help i don't know what to do anymore!!!!! thanks

you need to tell your mom that she needs to accept tha fact that you dont like her boyfriend, she can have a personal life, but she has kids that she needs to be there for, you know. . . you want her to be happy, but at the same time, you need a mom and she needs to be there for you because a mom is the most important part of someones life. Tell her not to accuse you of not letting her have a life, but seriously if you cant stand her boyfriend and the time lost with your mom to him, then she should use her motherness, and do whats best for you. Hope i helped, and I hope life works out for you, keep ya head up. Good luck sweetie :-D
-Angel

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How do you know when you truely love someone? How can you be sure that you do love them? Please help, thanks.

love is undescribable, and it makes you feel great just by looking at them, and you get butterflies in your stomach and it makes you happy and its one of the best feelings in the world, if you think that this is what you're feeling, then there's a chance you could be in love. I dont know from personal experience, but i hope i helped nonetheless. I hope you're happy. Have fun. -Angel

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Hi Dr, I've been going out with this guy for not a long time, but its my second real boyfriend. I really like him yes I do, but at times I feel as if I loose attraction for him and it feels like I like someone else for some reasons that I feel I dont want to hurt him. What should I do?

talk to your boyfriend about how you feel, explain that you would never want to hurt him, but just let him know that it is possible that you could be more attracted to someone else, if he doesnt think its best for you two to be going out, then go find that other guy, but if you stay in that relationship without telling your boyfriend, it will hurt him more and more with time and you will regret it. But if it really isnt that big of a deal that you're somewhat attracted to this other guy, then just casually bring it up to him like it aint no thang, hmm.. it really is hard to have to deal with this, but once it passes, i think you will be more happy than your given situation. Hope i helped. Good luck sweetie. Keep me posted!
-dr.anqel "a.ro"

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Ever since I started taking taekwondo, my back has been hurting a lot. I'm only 15/f and I don't want a bad back at this young of an age and I don't want a bad back when I am older. And I would never quit taking taekwondo, I love it so much and I am trying to get my black belt. Any advice on what I should do? Thanks in advance.

you should stretch more and stuff, don't overwork your back. Good luck with that blackbelt :-D -Angel

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