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Wondering when i ....
Ok so when I was six (i am 18 now) my mom died from Multiple sclerosis (MS), I never really knew her because she suffered alot of the years when I was young with MS and she could hardly communicate and move and do things, I have a few vivid memories of her but nothing really happy. (one memory was she asked me to get her something from the cupboard because she was in a wheel chair and to weak to do it and i couldnt hear her or understand and we both ended up being mad because of it) Well for my whole life I have never really had a motherly figure or knew how to be a girl like the other girls my age , like i try being really girly and do make up and such but i cant do it, my older sister was never really around much to help ... like i get upset all the time and I feel that I am never going to be a normal person because I was "abandoned" like... when I have children i will have NO idea what to do, like my boyfriends sister just had a kid and i was trying to change his diaper and a 12 year old but in and was like "this is to big of a job for you" . I am always upset over the fact that I have had no mother and am totally jealous of everyone who has had an easy life growing up with a mom. I guess i am asking what should i do to gte over this? And please no one respond with "get over it loser" blah blah... i dont want to hear it, i just want to know what someone else would do in this situation.
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when i was young, my mom abandoned me and she is still alive, and I havent seen or heard from her in 8 years, so I know what its like. Its really hard not having a mom, but its one of those things in life that you cant really fill, there are ways to get over it, but its something you figure out on your own, not from random strangers on a website, I would really love to help you, because I know how hard it is, you've just gotta be strong and try to find a way to handle the emptiness, everyone has an emptiness in their life, you're not alone, just keep ya head up, stay strong, and be happy, I really hope I helped, its pretty tough. Good luck. -Angel
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Aw, I'm sorry. Just remember that you were never abandoned! Your mom is watching over you in heaven. If you want to learn how to be a girl and eventually a mom, try talking to God and your mother about it through prayer. They're listening. And also, maybe ask a really good friend's mom if she could show you how. I'm sure she'd be happy to! Good luck!
Hope I helped!
~*Erin*~
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Darling, having a mother does not = easy life, or being confident you'll know what to do when you have a child. My mother started back to work and school when I was in 1st grade. Before that she was a stay at home mom, then suddenly nothing... And when she was home she was studying and tired and moody and I never knew if I would be slapped or cussed-out or hugged when she came home, or even when she walked into the next room. Here's the main point though, when a child is born every woman starts off at zero and learns from her own mistakes. You can take classes; you can mentor through Big Sisters; you can offer babysitting services. All of these things will help build your confidence around children. I am awesome with children. I have tons of patience and take the time to explain things to them and I Listen to what they are saying. I treat them all the same. They respond to me like magic, but in general I can't stand the little brats. I would never want one of my own. You at least have a desire for children and a need to be a good mother. Already you're ahead of me in the mothering business. And I had a mother and a big sister and a grandmother growing up. As for the diaper thing, 12 years olds suck and they have no tact. They probably just noticed you were uncomfortable with changing the baby and were being typical 12 year old know-it-all I'm so supierior cuz I've done this before and you haven't. (Have I mentioned I don't generally like kids? That 12 year old and their kind are why. Not all young ones are like that but enough are to jade me until I know them better. I take kids that age on a kid at a time basis.) Try not to fret too much about lacking your mother and the effect it will cause on your mothering skills. I have a feeling you'll do better than most by just being yourself. Big Hug, I'm sure you'll be great when the time comes!!!
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Well, your friends have moms. You could ask one of them for help. Taking a home economics class can help with taking care of a home, if that is part of what you are worried about. And there are babysitting classes probably at your local Y. Have you contacted Big Brothers/Big Sisters? They could help you find a girl mentor to help you through some of these rough patches. Don't be afraid to ask for advice. If you are doing things about it, you will start feeling better about the whole thing.
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Not everyone with a mother has an automatic sense of girliness. you are not abnormal, many people are just like that. it's ok, there are always classes you can take before becoming a mother. But for now, be yourself. you shouldn't try and change for others. and if you truely want to be gilry, ask a friend to teach you how to put on make up, or ask a girlfriend to go shopping with you to pick out some cute clothing. i learned all my make up tips and clothing style from my friends, and so can you.
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this isn't really the type of thing that you can get over, no matter how long ago it happened. you can be your own person, no matter what has happened in the past. teh last thing you need to do is worry about what will happen when you have kids. i knew nothing about kids before my sister had one. i spend the summers at her house, and believe me, you learn real quick how to take care of a kid. all that stuff is pure instinct. the best thing you can do at the moment is just go on with your life as best as possible. and one last thing, make-up is not necessary to the essentials of life. im sure you look pretty without it. ^_^
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