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Q: I have been having this problem for quite sometime. I am a cutter. And i can't really stop. I have been going to counseling and I had been taken off antidepressants. My mood hasnt gotten any better, it feels alittle worse. Parents are no help, my dad thinks that I am doing this for attention and he yelled and screamed at me saying that I am faking everything and its just a waste of money to keep the counseling going. So now, I am not in that anymore. I feel terrible, worse possibly. And my freind who I have known since the second grade is going through problems, she is cutting herself and trying to kill herself. I have been trying to give her advice but, how do I give advice to someone who is doing the same things as me? I need some major help and someone to talk to.

the first thing you need to do is talk to someone. you say you cant talk to your parents so find a trusted teacher or mentor. you can most likely talk to a school counsler. you need to tell your friend the same thing and maybe you can help each other through the process. thsi way you'll always have someone to talk to abotu it. ask an adult what you should do, and they can get you into professional counseling, even if your dad doesnt think it necessary. i hope you get better, but always remember that in a situation like this, you should always tell someone.

Q: I don't eat. Is that retarded? No. It's not. I'm happy all of the time at school, and then I'm sad and "depressed" at home. I get mad at my parents a lot, I don't smile. At school, I'm happy all the time, people tell me I laugh a lot, and then i just smile all the time. I'm really sensitive: ex) I once saw a homeless man in front of the subway station. I gave him 5 bucks, and he said happy holidays. I turned around and said happy holdidays to you too. then i went into the subway station, saw one of my friends, and started crying into his shoulders. After like, 6 stops, I stopped, and he asked me what was the matter, and I told him everything. Then I said i was sad cause the guy WASN'T going to have a happy holiday. The next day, i went back with my friend and he held my hand and everything, and we gave the homeless man 10 dollars with a post it attached that gave him the address of a nearby soup kitchen. He said bless you. And then I started crying all over again. How messed up am I?

You're not messed up. you're just a considerate person. it's a good thing when it concerns you that other people wont be having as good a christmas as you are. you could probably get somethign started in your community to help these people, but first you need to help yourself. you can never really do your best to help other people until then. start eating, and then maybe you could volunteer in a soup kitchen or something of the sort. i hope you feel better soon and have a Merry Christmas!

Q: im a beginned guitar player and im starting to learn notes right now (i havent even gotten to chords) and i need to kno if anybody has some trix to remembering all where all the chords and notes are and how you can tell which string is which without looking everytime you need to switch strings. thanx

when i started playing guitar, i had the same problem. for me it just took a lot of practice, adn once you keep playing it, you barely have to think abotu the chords, it's almost like a second nature. my dad's been playing guitar for almost 40 years, and it's as if he doesn'y even take a second glance at teh guitar once he gets started. it's just like any other instrument, you just have to get used to it. im sure you'll do fine and i hope all goes well...^_^

Q: Ok so when I was six (i am 18 now) my mom died from Multiple sclerosis (MS), I never really knew her because she suffered alot of the years when I was young with MS and she could hardly communicate and move and do things, I have a few vivid memories of her but nothing really happy. (one memory was she asked me to get her something from the cupboard because she was in a wheel chair and to weak to do it and i couldnt hear her or understand and we both ended up being mad because of it) Well for my whole life I have never really had a motherly figure or knew how to be a girl like the other girls my age , like i try being really girly and do make up and such but i cant do it, my older sister was never really around much to help ... like i get upset all the time and I feel that I am never going to be a normal person because I was "abandoned" like... when I have children i will have NO idea what to do, like my boyfriends sister just had a kid and i was trying to change his diaper and a 12 year old but in and was like "this is to big of a job for you" . I am always upset over the fact that I have had no mother and am totally jealous of everyone who has had an easy life growing up with a mom. I guess i am asking what should i do to gte over this? And please no one respond with "get over it loser" blah blah... i dont want to hear it, i just want to know what someone else would do in this situation.

this isn't really the type of thing that you can get over, no matter how long ago it happened. you can be your own person, no matter what has happened in the past. teh last thing you need to do is worry about what will happen when you have kids. i knew nothing about kids before my sister had one. i spend the summers at her house, and believe me, you learn real quick how to take care of a kid. all that stuff is pure instinct. the best thing you can do at the moment is just go on with your life as best as possible. and one last thing, make-up is not necessary to the essentials of life. im sure you look pretty without it. ^_^

Q: I get so angry at myself, because i feel like i can't attract anyone worth attracting. Theres guys out there that like me, but they wont leave me alone! and i have no feelings towards them. and then the people i like, i tell them that i like them, but they dont feel the same way. am i the underdog in this situation?

wow, it sounds to me that you seem to be having some pretty bad luck. maybe you should just back off the guys for a little while, at least until you can just think about what it is that keeps going wrong. although it may just be random, it may just be that those guys were set on someone else at the moment. it's probably just a bad streak that will end soon enough, don't get too down on yourself...hope all goes well ^_^

Q: I'm not sure but I may be a victim of emotional abuse. I've been with my guy since high school, more the half of a decade ago, and we have a child together. Now he doesn't call me names and put me down to my face, though he's come close before, but it's like whenever he's in a bad mood he takes it out on me, he blames EVERYTHING on me that comes to his mind. It makes me feel really low. I think he does it to make himself feel better but then I feel like total crap and I hang my head down and sigh for like hours. Sometimes I get so sick to my stomach over it. It's just this vicious cycle that keeps on going. He acts nice again and I love that person that he is when he is nice so I forget everything and am able to relax again for a little while. But when he changes faces again I'm like, "Oh why do I put myself through this, here we go again." I feel like such trash for putting up with it. I just love him so much, and I know he loves me but wonder if there's a part of him that hates me because he has to blame so much on me. And if I say anything when he is angry, ANYTHING, it makes him angrier and he doesn't listen to anything I have to say. His father treated his mother like this and I think he's following in his footsteps. I don't want my son to think this is how a man is supposed to treat a woman. So I'm just wondering if this is considered emotional abuse. Thanks.

if his words hurt you in any way, then it's emotional abuse. many times in these sort of cases, the abuser does not know what he's doing. the best thing you can do at the moment is try to talk to him. tell him exactly how you feel, say it in an appropriate manner, but don't hold anything back, or it will just build up and make it worse. if he does not change, or the abuse worsens, you need to tell him that he'd better go see a counsler because you don't want your son to turn out like that. there is no reason for what he does, and don't ever try to make excuses for it. if he won't go by himself, then you should probably offer to go with him. i hope all goes well, and i hope this helped you... ~here to help~