adviceman49's advice column | Page 101

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Male

Member Since:

June 18, 2009

Answers:

8136

Last Update:

May 26, 2019

Visitors:

139839

Favorite Columnists

storageanddisposal

Main Categories:

General Sex Questions

Abusive Relationships

about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I love this girl nd m finding it difficult to lure her into my bedroom

The word lure sounds abit like you are conspiring to get her in bed with you. If you love someone you don't conspire to do something they either are not ready to do or do not want to do. You say you love her; are you sure you love her and not just lust for her. If you love someone you would not try to lure or conspire to have her do something she does not want to do.

When it comes to sex you have to be very careful about how you try to have sex with someone. Once they say no, or any other negative response to your attempts to have any type of sex with them. If you continue to try and lure or convince them to have sex with you, then you cross the line into the legal definition of sexual harassment. If this girl is under the age of consent she or her parents can bring charges against you. If you are both of school age and you are doing so at school the school authorities can bring charges as well.

Sexual harassment is todays slippery slope as it is very much on the radar of everyone. What was once tolerated as jut hormonal overcharged teenaged males is todays sexual harassment. The line which is crossed is also very fluid. What is acceptable today may not be acceptable tomorrow. Frankly I would not want to be a teenage male today.

If your girlfriend loves you she will let you know when she is ready to have sex with you. When she is you need to have condoms and use them. Not just for pregnancy protection but for protection against STDs and the HIV/AIDS virus. Even if you are both virgins starting with condoms is a good habit to start with.

Next, make sure wherever you are going to make love is comfortable and secure from intrusion. Take your time and make sure she is ready. Foreplay is important. Have some lubrication Gel so as to make sure when you do penetrate her you don't hurt her. If she is a virgin take you time and make it as nice as possible for her. Virgin or not remember every time you have sex with a women you are penetrating there body. There is a small trauma associated with the penetration so make sure she is ready and well lubricated.

I am a student from india and i need some opinions on what i did was foolishness or a good thing. I am in my final semester of my masters where i do not have class and have to do a project. Since i do not have class i will always be at home. Instead of sitting idle i thought i may go to work. So i attended an interview for a bpo(which is different from my field of study) and got selected and was all set to join. My mother and my sister were againist me joining as i had to work 6 days a week and also the pay was comparitively very less. I still went ahead no joining and went to my college to get my certificates for submission. When my teachers heard this, they were againist it as well. I did wanted to earn some money but after hearing all this i backed out. Was it the right thing to do?

This is one of those questions were it is hard for us to tell you whether you made the right decision. Reason I say this is Weoal different, I understand you need in your desire to have some money in your pocket while you're finishing your masters project. On the other hand many of us can easily be distracted by the money were earning and never finish ourMasters project.

I believe this is where the professors were coming from when they told you not to do this. Your friends and family may have been looking or seeing the same things as the professors and also had your best interest at heart. What it all comes down to is the fact that you were now own adult responsible for everything you do. You can ask forr and listen to advice of others but in the end you are the one that has to make and live with the final decision.

If it helps at all the decision you've come to is the same one I would've had made. Your education and your masters degree or in the end going to bring you more money than the job you were interested in taking. working six days a week would leave little or no time to complete your masters project. There's an old saying road to the poorhouse is paved with good intentions.

I don't know you but I do know myself and what I know is this; if I was working six days a week the last thing I would want to do on the seventh day is sit down and work on a masters project. So in essence my best intentions would be laid aside and my masters project probably would not get done. If this sounds like you then you made the right decision.

Please tell me how to get an abortion in my ninth month of pregnancy?

An abortion at this time is illegal. If you even found someone to do so you and that person could and would be charged with murder as the child is viable and able to live outside the womb.

You don't give your reasons for wanting to end your pregnancy at this late date. Whatever they are they are not in the best interest of you or the baby. The best thing to do is to contact you County or State Social Service Agency or the Social worker at the hospital you plan to deliver at and arange to put the baby up for adoption when you deliver.

If you want it can be arranged for you to never see the baby. Once you deliver the baby will be moved into the next room, cleaned up and taken to the nursery. Depending on the time you deliver and how fast you recover you might even leave the hospital the same day or early the following day.

Social Services will find a good, loving home for the baby and you can go about your business after a few weeks rest. If you are not married you will not need the fathers permission to put the baby up for adoption.

I grew up in a middle class slightly conservative family.my mom raised me with all her care and sacrifices as she had so many unfulfilled dreams as she was forcibly married to my dad at the peak of her career and my dad and his family didn't allow her to go after her wish and tortured her mentally.so my mom wanted me to fulfill all her dreams and never believed on my ability.my dad on other hand kept comparing with my cousin sisters since I was born.he used to say I am not polite submissive and I have no female component in my nature.my
mom always kept comparing me with others and neglected me as who I was really."A is good in studies, B keeps practicing dance n all" she used to tell me all this even in front of others.now I proved myself by pursuing masters from the no.1university in country.mom n dad take pride in it.but when it comes to insulting me they shout n compare me with the neighbor girls who are far more inferior than me, one who eloped and married to her neighbor n the other stuying hons from a worst college.this is the way my parents insult me when I always have been thinking how to give them happiness and peace and never made them to suffer for me.why?as my mom's marriage was an arranged1 and she was the 1amongst her cousins who didn't go for love marriage so she wants me to hide my relationship from everyone as they can discuss that her daughter is dating a guy openly in her town whereas no1 can spot out any fault in my mom from her own town.

I'm sorry you have been hurt like this. Unfortunately as parents we parent, many of us parent, as we have been parented for it is all we know. I know how you feel always being compared to others never being good enough even when what you are doing is better for yourself or your community. My father was very much like your parents. He never had a kind word for me always telling me I could do it better or someone else could do it better. when he started in on my son in the same manner that was the straw that broke the Camels back. I stopped trying to please him and stood up to him.

You are the only one you have to please. I developed a motto that worked very well for me. I goes like this; "The only person I have to be better than tomorrow is the person I am today." What this has always meant to me especially as a District Sales Manager is not how many sales were made today. I never worried about sales, what were not made today were made tomorrow. What this meant was I needed to learn something new each day that would help me grow. That would either help me in my business or personally. Even now as I am retired I look each day to learn something new." "New besides providing growth is fascinating.

As I found out, you will never please your parents, it is just not possible for their expectations are jut not there. They will always find a fault with something or anything you do or take pride in so do not do for them do for yourself. You also have to be careful with your children around them when you have them for they will be no different with your children then they have been with you.

I'm going to ask you to do one other thing for yourself. I found out much later in life that because of my childhood, my sister as well, that we suffered from depression for most of are lives. we didn't know this because this was our lives our normal. Please see you family doctor and get screened for clinical depression. The screening is painless and amounts to your doctor asking you a number of questions. The doctor will also want to do a complete physical, allow it, as to rule out any organic cause for depression.

If you are found to be suffering with depression get proper treatment and talk therapy. You will feel much better and see what life is supposed to be and feel like. You can always private message me if you want to talk about anything.

Im pissed beyond anything! My sweetheart,that I love,are talking about getting a place together. Yet,I get only 2 text messages from him a day.He texts he loves me,then leaves it. He never calls me. He however,has time to party,hang out with friends,and whoops! He's unemployed.
And oh yes, he also has time to like photo after photo of sexy women on his Instagram. But,ooops,never responds to the messages,I mention this to him,and just says,''It doesnt mean I want to be with them'' BULLSHIT! As if he didnt get any eye candy from me! Im so damn fucking sick of this!
Is it wrong that I feel humiliated? Humiliated that after what I give him,its enough,and likes looking around. Is it hurtful of him to do this? Is it? Am I wrong to be hurting? Ive gone out of my way to impress him,I sent home made cupcakes,and he never mentioned he recieved them until I said something about it. I drew a picture of him,and all I got was 1 measely like,and a thanks baby,and he left it alone. I hate this.
And what really sets me off,is that he leaves comments like''U look delicious'' ''You are so sexy'' ''Oh,you have a nice smile'' The list goes one.And he does this every single day. He never use to be this way,there was a time when he was more attentive to me,he loved all the photos I sent him.Now,I get a 2 texts a day.
I am running out of patience with him,Ive been in love for so long,and I dont want to quit,but I feel at times,I have no choice but to quit.
The photos I take for him are modelesque and risque.I have always kept them private for him.I have never posted any of those type of photos on my Instagram.Yet,when he likes all these whores photos,Ive half a mind to post them! I know it sounds childish,but Im hurting and I am very very very angry at him! He should be happy with what he has! And when he does this crap on me,he tells me,what I am isnt enough,more like a 'Thats nice,but I like whats on the other side of the fence' Maybe,I should post them 1 by 1 to see,that Im not so private anymore,or whatever.Im sorry if Im angry,but I feel here,I have every right to be.
For all the other girls in the world,he has time for them,but Im nothing but an after thought! The little shit! Why is he doing this to me? I try to talk to him,but he says he loves me,and wants to spend his life with me.Baloney! If that were so,he would spend the time with me,get a job so we can get an apartment!
How do I handle this? How? This is so hard.
Am I wrong?

This is one of those questions that there is no right or wrong answer to. You are upset with your boyfriend and you have several good reasons to be and some that just may not be good reasons to be. Though when you take the good reasons and throw in the other ones you are building a very good set of reasons to really question if this is the man you truly want to settle down and marry.

You say he is unemployed. How long has he been unemployed? If you had written this last year or the year before when the economy was really in the tank. I would say he needs time. Depending on what type of work he does the outlook for employment right now is good, although at this time of year many companies do not hire until after the first of the year.

If he has a good education and solid work history. Then he should be up early and beating the bushes to try and find a job. This is one area where the early bird does catch the worm. He should literally be knocking on the doors of those companies he would want to work for with good reasons at the ready as to why he would be a valuable addition to their workforce.

I'll get kicked out of the mens club for this but we men can be cads at times. Looking at other women or racy picture of other women does not mean he doesn't love you. We like eye candy and if it is out there we will look at it. My wife told me when we first got married it was okay to look at the menu but if I dared to reorder she would cut off something near and dear to me. That was 43 years ago and we are still married. I like to look at pretty women and always have. But I never have thought to touch or reorder and I've come home every night to sleep in my wifes bed.

If he is just looking, not touching, playing with or attempting to reorder. Then you could be being a little shallow in this area as it is one of those areas that is just piled on to a more serious are of concern about him.

The other things you write about are part just being comfortable with you. He could also be a little bit Narcissistic person or just plain lazy. I don't know him so I can't say. One thing I do know is he is not doing this to you. He is doing this to him and for him. You are just caught in the wake of all of it.

You may be seeing the real him without the window of love blinding you. If so you have to decide if you can live with his faults as for most of what you have written about I don't see him changing any other than hopefully getting a job. His friends will probably always be first. If he likes looking at eye candy you won't stop him he will just try and hide it from you if it is upsetting you.

He says he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. His priorities though do not seem to be in that direction at this time and I don't feel you can force the issue. You can try by giving him an ultimatum such as having a job by a certain date and finding an apartment by another. See how he responds but you must be prepared to walk away if he fail to meet your demand.

Hi. I'm a 14 year old female, and I weigh 110 pounds. I think I'm somewhere between 5'2 and 5'5.

I was overweight as a kid and was bullied for it. Therefore, I started counting calories in 6th grade and dropped pounds drastically. That was in December 2011, and I still do it. I just think I'm so fat. I have a huge stomach, I literally look 6 months pregnant. Adults say I have a disorted self image, but I just feel bigger than everyone else.

Anyway, I make sure I don't go over 1,000 calories a day. I know there's health risks and all that, but I just can't stop. I don't want to, honestly.

I recently have been eating too much. I eat about 800-900 calories a day, and I hate myself for that. I eat at 9AM, then 12PM, then maybe 3PM, then maybe 5 or 6PM. I eat too frequently I think because I eat small things at a time. But I eat when I'm bored or not hungry. How can I stop this? I don't want to get any bigger. It's like I countdown to binge on food. I just... I don't want to eat a lot like that.

You are developing or have developed an eating disorder. I'm not a doctor though if I was I would say you have developed the disorder called anorexia. You are at 11o pounds just about the right weight for your height depending on your frame size. If you have a belly it is because of weak abdominal muscles or is it possible you are pregnant. Your belly is not because you are over weight.

I suggest you see a doctor. If I am correct and you have developed an eating disorder such as anorexia. If you continue to cut back on how much to eat you will eventually get very sick. so sick the doctors will not be able to fix you and you may not see your fifteenth or sixteenth birthday.

If I'm scaring you then good, I mean to. eating disorders do lead to death. The daughter of a good friend died recently from anorexia she weighed 87 pounds and thought she was fat. This is how people with eating disorders feel and this is how you sound to me ion how you write.

Hello,
I am in a relationship with a girl for about 3 years and we belong to different religions but we are not bothered with it. Although our parents definitely have an issue with it.
So we are planning to getting married in a marriage court. But we won't be disclosing it to our parents and will not marry to any one else. As I am staying in US and our parents are back home. They won't be knowing about our marriage.
Is this a good idea for keeping peace and not disappointing any of our parents? As I can sponsor my to be wife and we can live together. And once our parents asks us to get marry, we do that.
Any suggestions and honest insights are welcomed. God Bless.

I believe you asked a similar question yesterday. My advice then was it was your lives you should live them. To advise you to hide something like this form your parents would be wrong of me and wrong of you to do so. Trust me when I say this when you seek to deceive you will be found out and the situation you are trying to avoid will be worse.

You have to live your lives for yourselves not for your parents. I tell you this as a parent not just as an advisor. Yes we parents can get upset but then we get over it.

y suggestion is to do what is best for you and your girlfriend not what you feel your parents want. In the end you will regret allowing your parents to break you up and that is a wound that may never heal.

So I have been in a relationship for the last year with a man. (I am female) I love him very much and picture one day marrying him and having children. But over the years I often fantasize about women and sleeping with women. I am sexually satisfied by my boyfriend and don't always think about women but I do sometimes. And to be frank it really unnerves me. I don't know what this means or what to make of it. I am a grown women, shouldn't I know my sexuality by now?

Relax your normal. It is not unusual to fantasize about being with someone of the same sex, especially for a women. At the very worst you might be bi-curious. If you are there is nothing wrong with that either. If you are and it might even be something your boyfriend would indulge you in and with as most men fantasize a threesome with two women.

This though is the extreme of what you may be feeling. Nothing says you must give in to your fantasy. Fact is that most of the time the fantasy is way better then the real life enactment of the fantasy.

My advice keep it as a fantasy to masturbate with when the boyfriend is not available.

I am 22 and in a LDR.my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 months now...the thing is we talk everyday.. Snapchat all day long!all of a sudden he says he is bored...I asked him if there is anything I can do... He said no...and asked him if he's bored of me... To which he replied no as well! I'm worried sick! Is there something wrong or am I over reacting? Do guys generally get bored easily? Please help!

This is one of those questions which we really cannot answer for you. We would need to know more information about both of you to even have a hint of what to say.

You need to ask him what he is bored about. Being in an LDR relationship is not easy. The normal things one does to keep a relationship going is hard to do view email, voicemail, texting and snapchat. Their is no substitute for you being their snuggled up against him and him against you.

He said he is not bored with you. Take him at his word or if you don't believe him. Dig deeper is the only advice I can give you at this time.

questions to needed to help you that I would need answers too.

1. Have you two ever been together in person?

2. Do you plan on meeting him or does he plan on coming to you?

3. How did you two meet? Did you meet on social media? If so what do you really know about him.

These three questions are very important to know for if you only have an on-line relationship and have never met in person. I caution you as to where you go with this. There are many people on the social media platforms who are not what the purport themselves to be. so be careful

I come from a family that lives on low income and food stamps. I'm 16 and I live in Minnesota. I always look up things online and I see so many things I would literally sacrafice everything to have. I know I seem money hungry, and I am! And I know that I could have the money I wanted and be able to buy those things, I have potential, but its the starting part I'm having trouble with. I want to be able to move out at 18 and be able to tell my parents I told you so. And prove my parents that I wouldn't wind up like them. But at the rate my life is going, that just might happen. So please, help me. Oh, and I don't know if it helps but I loove to
sing and dance. That's basically what my life is.
Music,dance, and money. Please help me.

IF you want to have a better life than what you have with your parents. That is probably going to mean you are going to need a better education than they have. This means a college education in some field that you can actually make a good living at.

Singing and dancing are nice and they may even help you earn some money while going to college. As a career the number of people that actually succeed and have a successful career are very small.

Singing and dancing are great hobbies and you might even succeed at making a second income from it but to have what you are looking for no.

Have you ever watched the show the voice, or America has talent. Do you know how many people try out for these shows hoping to be the lucky hundred or so that make it to the show for the on air auditions. Literally tens of thousands. Do you feel you singing or dancing is as good or better than those who made it to the show?

Go to college get an education and get a good job. This is the tried and true way to get those things you want.

If my bf breaks up with me and I kiss and give blowjob to another guy drunkenly and again me and my bf get along in relationship would it be considered as cheating? Should I tell my bf about this accident?

Very simple answer. In order to cheat on someone you must be in a relationship. If you break up and then at a later date make up. What happens in between is not cheating as no relationship existed between you.

There's a dance coming up on dec. 21 and I really want to go. But all of my friends have dates. And we were going out to eat afterwards. I need a date but I don't know how to get one. I really wanna talk to guys and have atleast a friend to go as my date but I don't really know any guys. People always tell me I'm too pretty amd cute to be single but yet, here I am. Please help me out

I would go with you but I am probably way to old for you and besides I'm married also I don't dance all that well just ask my wife.

All joking aside I have to assume you are young maybe 13 or 14 years old. Don't be discouraged the boys will come to you very soon. Is there a boy in your class or boys that you know or like that are not going with anyone? If so just go up to one of them and ask if they would like to be your Escort for the dance. Being your Escort is a bit different then a date.

For the boy at least it takes some of the fear out of dating. Boys of the age I assume you are at an age where girls may not yet appeal to them or if they do they scare them for they do not know how to act on a date. Being a pretty girl scares them even more for they fear you would not be interested in them.

Having once been of the age I am speaking of I know all to well what I am speaking about. If you don't believe me ask your dad. This is a very hard age for a young man as they do not mature as fast as a young women does.

My advice then is to take the bull by the horns and pick a boy you like, talk to him and then ask him to be your escort. The other alternative is to ask one of your friends if she knows someone she can ask to be your date. Possibly an older or slightly younger brother.

I hope you enjoy the dance.

Hello,

I am currently working as a CAD intern and I am wondering how long they will be keeping me at the company. At first I was hired during the summer time for an internship and those usually last a couple of weeks to months, but now it seems like I am working part-time since they ask for my school schedule. How do I ask how long I will be working here without being too upfront or rude? I would like to know in case they are planning on letting me go after a couple more months, so that I am prepared to find another internship.

Thanks.

I would suggest you not ask that question. Here is my reason. You were hired as a summer intern. Now it appears you have been kept on in a part-time manor to the point you have been asked to supply your school schedule.

It appears to me that they are pleased with your work and want to design a work schedule for you around your school schedule. They would not be asking for your school schedule unless they had plans for retaining you in a full part-time position.

I do not know exactly how they will approach you with this offer. It is possible that they will do so during the office Christmas party when everyone is in a celebratory mood for this does call for a celebration. For as you said, most intern position do not last very long.

I would go as far as to say if they are going to offer you a full time part-time position, one they design for you around you school schedule;; then you are probably not going to have to look for a job when you complete school as this position they are designing is one that is going to train you to work for them upon graduation.

Give yourself a pat on the back for you must be very good at what you do and have an excellent work ethic as well.

My step dad is really mean sometimes and is just always yelling. I tell my mom about this but she won't do anything about it.

I'm sorry to hear about this and I wish I have had better advice then I do for you. Unless your step dad is abusing you, verbal abuse is also a type of abuse though it depends on what is said, there is not much you can do about this. More on this in a moment.

There are not a lot of men who are willing to marry someone that comes with a built in family so give this man some credit for stepping in and providing the basic necessities a child requires as well as what mom needs from a man.

Mom need love, companionship, someone that would help raise you and yes she most likely wanted a sex life as well. She is you mom her needs did not die when your dad left for what ever reason he is not with you. If your dad is not with you because of a divorce it is expected that you and your stepfather may not have the best of relationships. You might try being nicer to him, he is not the enemy and I'm sure he is not trying to take your fathers place in your life but to be responsible for you while you are in his home and care. If this is what I believe he is trying to be to you then work with him.

Now as to abuse. There are two types: Physical abuse where you are being hit or punched and include spankings with things other than a hand. This also includes sexual abuse. Then their is verbal abuse. This would include saying hurtful things to you.

If any of this is going on and mom refuses to do anything about it; you do have recourses and recourse. For physical abuse you can always call 911, use your cell phone. The police cannot be turned away until the interview you and actually see marks or don't see marks left by the physical abuse. If you can get out of the house run to the nearest police or fire station. These are safe havens for children.

If you are being verbally abuse talk to a trusted teacher or your school principal, Tell them of the abuse. Once informed they are legally required to make a report to child protective services and the police. You can also go to the nearest Police or Fire station and ask for help.

Yelling alone is not consider abusive unless it is constant and then it is a fine line.

I wish I had better advice for you but without more information this is the best I can offer. When you turn 18 you can leave and live where you wish. Until then if your parents are divorced you have to live where the courts order you to live.

I was scared to death i had herpes.
I had all the symptoms.
Itching face,at times tingling, burning lips.
& these little not too noticeable lip colored flat circles on my lips & a white mark.
But my test came back negative :)
So what's wrong with me? A doc said it could be from the weather. & the circles could be a cold sore. But how could I have a cold sore without herpes? Could someone explain that it have an idea what it could be. Also how can I get rid of these little circles? & tingling? Abreeva doesn't work when I thought I had it.

There are two types of Herpes; Herpes simplex1 and 2. Most all of us have the Herpes one virus which produce the cold sores. You should reframe from giving oral sex when having and outbreak of cold sores as this can lead to genital Herpes or heroes 2 virus.

There are many reasons as to why you broke out with cold sores as there called. You could have kissed someone who had a cold sore. Possibly had some hand contact with someone who had the simplex1 virus then touched your lips and I'm told it is even possible to pick the virus up of a counter surface which if true means you could have picked it up at school off a deck or table.

Your doctor told you that you did not have herpes because they were looking for the simplex2 virus which of course you didn't have.

Cols sores are little Blisters and there is medication that can be purchased across the counter. go to the drug store and speak with the pharmacist, He or she can direct you to one of the several products available. The best ones, the ones that will dry up the blister the quickest, now don't freak, are the ones originally developed to help HIV/Aids patients with their blisters. Just because it was developed for one illness doesn't mean it cannot be used for a variety of other illnesses.

Hello, I am a 25 year old guy and I am in a relationship with a girl from almost 3 years. I am Christian from religion and she is Hindu.
Now we are in a tough situation as we both love our parents and don't want to go against their will for the marriage. And none of our parents are ready to accept our relation.
Any advice and suggestions for handling this situation are really appreciated.
God Bless!!

I might suggest you do as my wife and I did. While we were not faced with either set of parents objecting to our marriage my mother in-law did bring up the subject of which religion we would raise our children in.

Since my wife and I are not very religious and our parents know this. We told both parents that we would raise our children to believe in god and that they were welcome to introduce our children to their religion and beliefs when we or they were with them, provided they did not try to coerce them. They could educate them in their religions take them to church if the children wished to attend (this was mainly for when the were older, as youngsters they went when asked). When each child reached the age of majority, age 18 they were free to do as they pleased as far a religion was concerned, They could follow one of their grandparents religions, chose one of their own or just chose to believe in god.

This worked out very well. We only had one child and he has chosen in his own way to continue to follow both religions. I assume when he marry's he will chose to possibly follow the religion of his future wife or maybe not. We have not really discussed this.

In the eyes of most religions the children are the religion of the mother. If a child chooses to follow another religion they then have to follow whatever is required to convert to that religion.

It was primarily the religious upbringing of the grandchildren our parents were concerned with. They realized my wife and I were a lost cause as far as keeping us apart so objecting to our marriage would only have alienated us from them and possibly them from their future grandchildren.

My advice is it is your life you live it. Your parents cannot live your life for you. Assure your parents that the children of this marriage will be raised to respect both sets of grandparents religions and that each set of grandparents will have a limited amount of say in the children’s religious training. If that is not acceptable to them then they either live with your decision or learn to live without you.

You can also include as my son now jokingly includes when losing discussions with me. That you are the ones that will eventually be choosing there nursing homes. Meaning better to see things your way then not.

I have recently decided to stop using painkillers. I've been very successful and I am about to weeks clean. The only problem is I am always tired. I try to get enough sleep but even when I do I am very tired. I don't seem to be expereincing many of the withdraw effects I've read about, but the ones I do are fairly mild. Could me not being on the drug any more be related to always being tired or am I just not getting enough sleep?

Unfortunately I know what it is like to be addicted to pain killers. I suffer from a injury that causes Chronic back pain. Fortunately I am treated with Non-Narcotic pain medication. Though the downside to any medication is if you take it long enough you become addicted to it.

To stop this type of medication means to wean yourself from the medication slowly over a period of weeks, generally under a doctors supervision. Going cold turkey can be harmful and is why you can suffer from withdrawal symptoms.

To answer you question yes listlessness can be a symptom of withdrawal and one that may need to be checked out by a doctor. If you have stopped this pain medication on your own with out medical supervision, whether this drug was prescribed for you or not. I urge you to see your doctor for a check up and help with the withdrawal/recovery; especially if you did so cold turkey. You could have harmed yourself in ways you are not aware of and the withdrawal symptoms you feel you are having could be signs that medical treatment is needed.

My balls are really big do girls like really big balls or smaller balls?

I really do not think it matters to the majority of women. As long as they can cup them in their hand or hands, wrap their lips around one or both of your nuts the majority of women will be happy. That is not to say there are not a few women who are hung up on size. These women either want big everything, Penis and Scrotums or small Penis and scrotums.

Most women especially young teenage women are like young teenage men. They are happy with whatever their partner has to offer. Later on in life when you are looking for a life mate you may have s preference though when love comes into play preferences are blinded by your love for your partner. Their sexual equipment becomes secondary to their love for that person and adjustments are made as needed just as long as the sex is compatible.

Hello Advicenators: I have a 590 credit rating and am 58 years old. I recently decided to pay off legitimate old debt and clean up my credit report via disputing items as needed. Can I dispute items on my credit report by myself via some website? The agencies out there seem to charge high fees. Thanks, Dzadzy

Solidadviceforteens is correct for most states. Where I live there is a 2 year limit on the original debt. If a credit collector has not contacted you by registered letter or phone in two years the debt is uncollectable. While this bit of knowledge is not known by many collection agents or those in debt. Those that are aware and some Attorneys who specialize in financial counseling, it does not help with your credit rating which generally stays on your credit report for 7 years. It also does not stop a collection who has purchased the debt and unable to collect it from making a false report to the reporting agencies.

You do not need an attorney or one of those credit restoration agencies to dispute anything on your credit report. In fact you should first try and dispute them on your own. Equifax and two other Credit reporting companies are the main companies to contact about your credit report. At the moment I can only think of Equifax though by contacting them there instructions on how to dispute an item will include how to contact the other agencies. I believe you must contact them each individually though here again that will be made clear on the instructions from any one of them.

While they have programs they offer to help you monitor your credit you do not have to pay for your credit report. They must supply you one for free when asked. They have a contact number for assistance but do not expect them to make changes to your report by phone. They are going to want everything in writing with verifiable documentation. Should they refuse to make an adjustment the must explain in writing to you why and how they made this decision. Once again though you may have to request that in writing.

It is also possible that one or two will make a decision one way and the other another way. If this happens you can re-dispute the unfavorable one(s) asking why they or them came to a different decision. Then if you still have unresolved issue and a credit score below 620 you might want to consult an attorney. Stay away from those Credit Restoration Companies most of them are not worth your money.

Below is the URL for Equifax

http://www.equifax.com/equifaxcomplete/PSbr/?CID=2&equifax_com_M_E&DS3_KID=43700002103806872&adID=4950173357&gclid=CNn8j7jYjsICFck34AodK2wA7A&gclsrc=ds

So my friend, (lets call him C) is not a best friend but a good one, and I want him to come over to dinner tonight at my house. I don't have a crush on him or anything, but yeah.And when I invite him over I don't want it to sound weird or anything like i'm asking him out--we are only in elementary school.
Help me please.

Seeing that you are only in Elementary school I would suggest that you have your mother call his mother and ask if it okay with his mother for him to come over for dinner. This does two things. First it allows his mother to know that you are going to ask him and to approve and to warn your mother of any food allergies he might have. Second his mother will prepare him for the fact that you will be inviting him that your mother called and asked if it was okay for you to come and have dinner with them. This makes it sound a little more as if your mother is asking through you for him to come and have dinner with you. It makes it easier on both of you.

Most important though is for you mom to call his mom before you ask him to dinner. This is very important as his mother must approve as must your mother be able to provide a meal that will allow for any food allergies he may have.

Hope it all works out, have fun.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>