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Frustrated!! I want to quit! Please,advice!
Im pissed beyond anything! My sweetheart,that I love,are talking about getting a place together. Yet,I get only 2 text messages from him a day.He texts he loves me,then leaves it. He never calls me. He however,has time to party,hang out with friends,and whoops! He's unemployed.
And oh yes, he also has time to like photo after photo of sexy women on his Instagram. But,ooops,never responds to the messages,I mention this to him,and just says,''It doesnt mean I want to be with them'' BULLSHIT! As if he didnt get any eye candy from me! Im so damn fucking sick of this!
Is it wrong that I feel humiliated? Humiliated that after what I give him,its enough,and likes looking around. Is it hurtful of him to do this? Is it? Am I wrong to be hurting? Ive gone out of my way to impress him,I sent home made cupcakes,and he never mentioned he recieved them until I said something about it. I drew a picture of him,and all I got was 1 measely like,and a thanks baby,and he left it alone. I hate this.
And what really sets me off,is that he leaves comments like''U look delicious'' ''You are so sexy'' ''Oh,you have a nice smile'' The list goes one.And he does this every single day. He never use to be this way,there was a time when he was more attentive to me,he loved all the photos I sent him.Now,I get a 2 texts a day.
I am running out of patience with him,Ive been in love for so long,and I dont want to quit,but I feel at times,I have no choice but to quit.
The photos I take for him are modelesque and risque.I have always kept them private for him.I have never posted any of those type of photos on my Instagram.Yet,when he likes all these whores photos,Ive half a mind to post them! I know it sounds childish,but Im hurting and I am very very very angry at him! He should be happy with what he has! And when he does this crap on me,he tells me,what I am isnt enough,more like a 'Thats nice,but I like whats on the other side of the fence' Maybe,I should post them 1 by 1 to see,that Im not so private anymore,or whatever.Im sorry if Im angry,but I feel here,I have every right to be.
For all the other girls in the world,he has time for them,but Im nothing but an after thought! The little shit! Why is he doing this to me? I try to talk to him,but he says he loves me,and wants to spend his life with me.Baloney! If that were so,he would spend the time with me,get a job so we can get an apartment!
How do I handle this? How? This is so hard.
Am I wrong?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
So my guess is, you're wondering if he's still interested in you, whether he loves you. I will share in my own words what I found and saved from a relationship expert, How women can know if He loves you. Perhaps that will clarify things for you.
Either he's doing a bad job of showing you that he loves you or you are doing a bad job of picking up on the signals.
Why some relationships aren't working in a nut shell:
Some women give their love and devotion to a guy who doesnt deserve it, who is wrong for her, a guy who is a player, immature, and not ready for a relationship with a woman while others no matter how plain and simple the signs are of his love and devotion, the women don't see it or trust it because of lack of self confidence. For example:
1 A woman's insecurity and neediness will kill a man's love
Do you love me, do you love me? No matter what he says or does, she never believes him, even if he's never done anything to earn her distrust.
2 It's impossible to love others and be loved by others unless you love yourself first.
Don't look to a man for all your self esteem and self worth. Have it already before relationship..
3. Men do not show love the same way women do. For them it's how they feel when she is around and how she fulfills the dreams of the woman he wants (Most guy don't know what they want in a woman and for that matter, the ladies who no clue what they want in a man other than attention from him and thats not enough) And how possessive is he if he feels another man was paying too much attention to her. Some women translate love into his obsession for her and devotion while men translate her love for him as being appreciated and respected.
7 Questions to ask yourself to know if he really loves you
1. Does he say I love you. For some, it's a hard thing to say but they show it to you in other ways. When he says “I love you”, he is viewing that as a commitment to you. It is not a flippant phrase.
Saying I love you too early like during first couple dates is a warning about the guy. Its a very good chance he is needy and wanting a woman to be his mom. Other phrases from a guy count too, like you're awesome, I adore you. You're the woman I always dreamed of.
2. Does he make you a priority in his life? Guys have more than one priority...things very important to him but you should be one of top 3.
What he does for you or how he acts can't be faked easily because it's hard to lie with your body. Things he does without having to be asked, making dinner, picking up something for a collection you have, making time for you, even if it's a walk or a long phone chat. If the guy likes you, he'll make time for you at least a quarter of the time.
3 Does he tell friends about you and like to show you off? Have you been introduced to his family and friends? If he keeps you separate, he's hiding something or ashamed or fearful of something
4. Does he care about your pleasure during sex? Is he only into seeking his own pleasure or your's too. Does he open his eyes and want to have both your eyes connect while making love?
5. Does he respect and encourage you? Respect means, does he value your opinion, do you share decisions and treats you as a partner. Are you encouraged by him to have your own friends and hobbies outside the relationship and encourage you to seek your dreams and uphold you in that.
Jealousy is not love, it's control. It's okay to be protective, but jealousy shouldn't be what prompts the protectiveness
6. Do your friends and family like how he treats you? Others make a great gauge for judging a guys character.
7. Does he look at you with lust and passion in his eyes, with a hunger and thirst for you? Does he give you admiring looks, does he still want to sneak peeks down your shirt. What he sees is Very important since guys are visually stimulated. If he isn't looking anymore, he has lost his interest. All men because of this natural trait, will also view other women but do so discreetly, without being an ass about it. Don't expect a man to look at only you. If he doesn't look at other women at all, it may be a sign that he is gay. You do want a man who is visually stimulated by women.
How many points are true for you with your guy?
7 true He treats you as a Queen and he is an exceptional man
5-6 true He loves you. Just don't focus on what is lacking.
3-4 true He loves you enough to make the relationship work for him. If it's enough for you, then be content. If you feel like you're settling for less, let him go and look for something better.
1-2 true He's a douche-bag, a user or controller. Leave immediately.
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This is one of those questions that there is no right or wrong answer to. You are upset with your boyfriend and you have several good reasons to be and some that just may not be good reasons to be. Though when you take the good reasons and throw in the other ones you are building a very good set of reasons to really question if this is the man you truly want to settle down and marry.
You say he is unemployed. How long has he been unemployed? If you had written this last year or the year before when the economy was really in the tank. I would say he needs time. Depending on what type of work he does the outlook for employment right now is good, although at this time of year many companies do not hire until after the first of the year.
If he has a good education and solid work history. Then he should be up early and beating the bushes to try and find a job. This is one area where the early bird does catch the worm. He should literally be knocking on the doors of those companies he would want to work for with good reasons at the ready as to why he would be a valuable addition to their workforce.
I'll get kicked out of the mens club for this but we men can be cads at times. Looking at other women or racy picture of other women does not mean he doesn't love you. We like eye candy and if it is out there we will look at it. My wife told me when we first got married it was okay to look at the menu but if I dared to reorder she would cut off something near and dear to me. That was 43 years ago and we are still married. I like to look at pretty women and always have. But I never have thought to touch or reorder and I've come home every night to sleep in my wifes bed.
If he is just looking, not touching, playing with or attempting to reorder. Then you could be being a little shallow in this area as it is one of those areas that is just piled on to a more serious are of concern about him.
The other things you write about are part just being comfortable with you. He could also be a little bit Narcissistic person or just plain lazy. I don't know him so I can't say. One thing I do know is he is not doing this to you. He is doing this to him and for him. You are just caught in the wake of all of it.
You may be seeing the real him without the window of love blinding you. If so you have to decide if you can live with his faults as for most of what you have written about I don't see him changing any other than hopefully getting a job. His friends will probably always be first. If he likes looking at eye candy you won't stop him he will just try and hide it from you if it is upsetting you.
He says he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. His priorities though do not seem to be in that direction at this time and I don't feel you can force the issue. You can try by giving him an ultimatum such as having a job by a certain date and finding an apartment by another. See how he responds but you must be prepared to walk away if he fail to meet your demand.
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