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i hurt him. [[please. my life is at stake]]
okay. long story. okay. so yesterday "thursday" some kids dared me and this girl to kiss. so we did. and so someone convinced me to tell my b/f. and so did. and he got really pissed. but he "said" he got over it and he wasn't pissed anymore [[yesterday]] so today, i went to this thing after school. and so i got these 3 guys to call him and say "dude, your girlfriend is a really good kisser" and hang up. but i NEVER made out with any of them. and he got really mad. and he left a comment on my profile. it says. "I will never trust you again.You broke my heart.I trusted you with everything now that is shattered.you meant everything to me now you mean nothing i will remember you but hope i will forget.you were my life,but thats now over. I HATE YOU" i don't know if he means it. and i don't feel bad for getting them to call him. but i do feel a little guilty because i hurt him. but i don't really care about him. or i don't want to. because everyone i've ever dared to love has gone. and. i just need to know if i should care. i mean. we've been through alot. and i do think i love him. but i don't want to. i mean. i care. but. what should i do. i don't wanna loose him. i really don't. i can't afford to. i mean. he's been there for me through all my bullshit. and i think i hurt him really badly. and. i really just need to know what to do.
i don't know what to do without him. and i guess i do care. but i dont want to [[sorry for the repitition]] please help. everytime me and him have gotten in a huge fight i started cutting again or i've attempted suicide. i really need him in my life. i can't lose him.
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I have been in a similar situation. Many many MANY girls have called my cellphone and said "your [well, now my ex boyfriend] is so hot, hes an amazing kisser, i've seen him cheating on you, etc". and you know what? that hurt so much, i cried for days. i was depressed for weeks, even months. i broke up with him because of what everyone was saying. your boyfriend had every right to break up with you and say all that stuff, he ment it. because i said the same thing (not word for word, but very close and to the same point). i HATE him, so much. he WAS my life. he did mean EVERYTHING to me. he broke MY HEART. we were together for six months. It killed me on the inside.
I wanted everything with him, a family and a house... he ment so much to me. he did that, it stabbed me in the heart and now i can barely trust guys. I only trust two--my two best friends because also girls, are backstabbers sluts whores and take your boyfriend but thats a totallly different subject and i wont go there--but the truth and lies hurt... they really do. basicallly.. what i want to say is what goes around comes around, you should know that. im sick of girls being fucking sluts, bitches, and straight up backstabbers.
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Are you being serious? Just out of curiosity, why on earth would you get those guys to do that? I mean, honestly! What was the point in that?
I think you are a bitch, and this boy deserves a lot better than you. Even you really do care for him, and you do love him, then stop being a dumbass, and learn what a relationship is all about. (And yes, that does involve no kissing random girls, getting random guys to call him about your kissing, and breaking his heart everytime you get a chance).
If you don't want to lose him, stop pusing him away.
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i'm going to try to say this in the clearest most delicate way. First of all, we all do silly, stupid, and or inconsiderate things sometimes. Who knows why. So forgive your self. Yeah you hurt him, but who is he to judge you harshly, when you don't know what he may have done in his past, or may do in his future. So forgive your self. Now what you have to do is figure out why you chose to give in to peer pressure. Figure out everything you did in this situation and get to the core reason of why you did it. If you can't be clear with your self, how can you be clear with anyone else? Then you gotta let go of needing him. When you need someone so much that if they aren't around you want to kill your self, there is a problem. Don't allow him to be the excuse for your sadness. I went through bad depression and cutting. I was allowing people to be my excuse to be sad. The truth is with or without them, i would be sad or happy anyway. Because happiness comes from within your self. Next thing you gotta do is figure out what role he plays in your life. Boyfriend? Friend? Then what role he may want to continue playing, cause if he decides to forgive you, you gotta know what the standards are going to be. Then you gotta take some time and figure out who you are and what you stand for. If you need to ask me more questions or talk to me you can ok? But chill, don't be too hard on your self. We all go down that path in some form or another. Peace.
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You've contradicted your self SO many times in this question.
I just can't understand why you would even want to get guys to call him up and say that. How did you think he'd react? Laugh and agree?
You've messed up and now you'll just have to face up to it.
You say you care and you can't lose him.. Sorry honey, but you already have.
You don't deserve him. Move on. Then get help for your suicidal thoughts.
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O.K. First, why did you kiss a girl if u already have a b/f? Second, why did you get guys to call him n tell him ur a good kisser, you know that made his jelous n mad, right? So, i think that a good idea would like be to confront him about the whole situation and apolagize and tell him why you did all those things. If he doesn't want to talk to you, text him or write him a letter n put it in his locker or get someone to give it to him if you can't give it to him yourself. Also, why did you let yourself get convinced to kiss someone? Good luck though!
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Personally, I think you just need to learn how to punctuate and express yourself, because clearly, that's a problem for you. Once you get passed that, you should probably consider growing up, because what you did was immature, thoughtless, and hurtful. Think before you do stupid crap like that, because guys have feelings. Good luck! :D
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You've hurt him really bad, there was absoltely no need to at all!
How would you feel if some girl rang you up and said yeah hey, your boyfriend is the best sex i've ever had or he kisses just fine or something like that??
What you did was cruel and degrating and I do not agree with it.
If I was your boyfriend I would never take you back! I'm sorry but you've obviosuly lost the best thing thats happened to you. He is going to find it hard to trust girls again all because of you.
Your after advice... stick to yourself for a while so you don't hurt anyone else until you mature! Just leave him alone now. Don't mess with his head!
That's all I have to say! I hope you've learnt a lesson.
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Poor you. I'm 100% NOT being sarcastic. But I'm not going to lie to you. It was totally all your fault. And he has every right to be mad. I don't think he means everything he said, but I do think that he doesn't really have an interest in going back out with you anything. Like seriously? See it in his POV (point of view). Like you had a boyfriend and he goes and kisses someone on a dare and tells you about it. If some guy did that to me, I'd dump him right there. Dares are so 3rd grade! Do you really know how to think? I don't mean to be harsh but I'd do 100 times worse revenge to you. Your boyfriend is actually being nice about this. I think you should apologize. I can't say he'd forgive you but you have to try. Tell him everything that you said to us about how much he means to you. Hopefully you actually mean it, because it really doesn't look like it. I'm crossing my fingers for you!
-Jenni C ♥
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First off, Yes, he meant what he said .
Yes, he does have a reason to be upset with you.
Yes, you did do something stupid.
But there is a chance he might want to fix things.
Cheating is cheating no matter what , doesn't matter if you kiss a girl and you are straight. I really think you should explain everything you are feeling to him, and try to do everything in your power to get him back.
If you don't win him back over there is nothing you can do you can't make someone love you back.
so if all else fails you are going to have to move on . i know its hard but there will be someone else.
having a fresh new relationship might be the best thing right now.
good luck.
message me if you need to talk about anything.
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Okay, what you did was the stupidest thing ever. Honestly what did you think you were going to accomplish by having those guys calling him? Obviously he meant what he wrote, he thinks that you made out with those boys even if you didn't. He has a reason to be mad and I wouldn't blame him if he did not want to get back together with you. You need to grow up, you really do and get some professional help while you are at it too.
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Why don't you feel bad for what you did? Unless [and even if] your boyfriend was being an asshole, there was no reason for you to do the things you did. Cheating is cheating, and stupidity is stupidity. You need to remember that.
Just because everyone you've ever loved has gone away doesn't mean he will. Some people stick around forever, but because of what's happened in the past, you can't write him off as someone who'll do the same. That's making a faulty judgement, and that's bad on your part.
If you need him in your life so bad, my truthful & nonsugarcoated suggestion to you would be to wise up, get your act together & when you apologize - mean it.
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i'm going to be bluntly honest.
first off, those guys calling your boyfriend, was seriously a really stupid move. you should feel bad for hurting him. and you should feel bad that you even told those guys to call him in the first place.
dares are bullshit and are nothing but drama. of course he's going to be hurt if you already kissed someone else. why should he beleive you if you say you didn't with the guys?
i'm sorry, but i'm going to have to say that this is your fault. and he deserves to be mad at you.
tell him you need him. and you're sorry for what you did. it seems to me that you do love him, whether you want too or not. especially if you can't "lose" him.
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Make up your mind your confusing me do you want him or not ? fo you care about him or not ? getting 3 guys to call him isn't something you do for "fun" no wonder girls/women usually get called sluts FACT OF THE MATTER IS : YOU NEED H-E-L-P
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you need serious proffessional help in your life! you have 3 different guys call him and act like you made out with them and you wanna know if he means what he says? hell yes he means it. You said that youdared to love has gone so you figure the best way to blow him off is to make him feel like a fool for being good and faithful to you, when you go out kissing other girls and playing dumb tricks on him? shame on you, if you've been hurt before you should know what that shit can do to people! aand stop that cutting shit, find someone you can talk to and releive your frustrations!
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duh, he means it. cheating's no joke, it hurts. you can expect to not hear from him again. find another "b/f" and learn from this. guys don't take crap.
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Even though it obviously makes you feel good to make him feel jealous, you're gonna have to stop because you're giving girls everywhere a bad reputation.
There is no reason that you should get pleasure out of hurting someone you "love" or even "care about". It's just mean and immature.
If you're gonna have a grown up relationship, you're gonna have to grow up.
If you are ready to grow up, and have a mature relationship, you need to apologize to him, and say you're never gonna intentionally hurt him again.
And you need to mean it.
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There have been some really good answers below. Someone wrote that you should try to put yourself in his shoes. This is very good advice in general in life. Before you say something, before you do anything, put yourself in the other person's position and see how it would come across.
I dont understand the way you shift from thinking you do care about this guy, to saying that you think you love him. I mean, correct me if I am wrong, but havent you answered your own question? Particularly in the last two sentences?
The main lesson to be learned here is that people are not toys to be played with. I cannot believe that even someone only 13 years old would not have realised how that "prank" would make your boyfriend feel.
So, what you should do now is to crawl back to him and apologise. It can be a real blow to ones pride, but I can safely say that I would do it if I were in your shoes. If you are fortunate he might forgive you, but it is a bit unlikely. I dont know what this is worth to you, but at least you would know that you did the right thing and apologised for your mistake.
Of course you should also definately talk to someone about your suicidal tendencies.
Take this as a learning experience. It may hurt but in the long run but, as S_C said below, its all about not making the same mistakes twice.
Good luck.
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Before I startI would first like to say that you NEED to get help for your cutting and suicidal tendencies, both are dangerous and at the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, you need to get yourself some help.
Anyway, what you did to this poor boy was wrong. It's even worse how you feel absolutely no remorse for your behavior. You don't deserve him and I hope he doesn't take you back.
You don't care for him. If you cared then you wouldn't have pulled a stunt to make him think you were cheating. You're selfish, immature, and your behavior was unacceptable. You need to apologize for your behavior and leave this poor boy alone.
You're not ready for a real relationship until you can realize the seriousness of your mistakes and learn not to make them again.
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I'm surprised people are being so mean to you. You're not a terrible person so don't take what they're saying to heart. Yes, what you did was wrong. You need to admit that. What was he supposed to think or do after getting those calls? You know that you didn't kiss those guys, but he doesn't. Since you already kissed a girl, he had every reason to believe that you were kissing other people too. What you did probably tore him apart inside because he trusted you. How would you feel if it had been the other way around? If you had gotten calls from 3 girls saying that he had been kissing them? It would hurt so bad. Just because you have been hurt in the past doesn't mean that you can now hurt other people. Unless you have Autism or something, there is absolutely no excuse for what you did. What you need to do now, is try to patch things up with this guy. Let him know what you did and make sure he realizes that it was because of some issues that you are having, not because of him. If he doesn't accept your explanation or apology, which he may not, that's okay. After what you did, I would be surprised if he did. Even so, it's still important to let him know what happened. You owe him that. Next, you need to take some time off from relationships to think about yourself. You can't have meaningful relationships with others if you are having personal issues. It's really hard to think about your boyfriend's feelings when yours are so messed up isn't it? It seems to me that you have two main problems. One, is that you have major commitment issues. I believe this is why you did what you did to him. Since you have been hurt in the past, you can't fully commit yourself to someone because of your fear of being hurt again. Even though this guy was probably really great, you couldn't muster up enough trust and felt that the relationship had to end before he hurt you. If that meant that you had to hurt him, you probably believed that was okay because at least you didn't end up hurt. Well, it wasn't okay. You could have ended the relationship in a much nicer way. If you ever find yourself having commitment issues again, don't panic like you did this time. Try talking it over with your boyfriend and if things still aren't working out for you, tell him the relationship is over, don't hurt him so that he ends it instead. There's no reason to turn it into something that it's not. He wasn't a bad guy that hurt you and dumped you. He wasn't like the others, only you made him so through your actions. It's so cruel to do that to someone and let me tell you, what happened is your fault. He wasn't the bad one in the relationship this time, you were. That's why taking some time off would do you some good. It would allow you to straighten out your feelings and get your logic back on track. Secondly, you need to deal with your cutting and suicide attempts. That's a big deal. You need to get help for that. The good thing is that you can get help for both of your problems at the same time because they are very related. Once you can feel good about yourself and take control of your life, you will begin to have better relationships. Right now, you are letting the actions of others dictate how you feel about yourself. That's not control and if you keep living that way, you will have a hard time finding happiness. My advice to you is to again, take a break from relationships for awhile, and to seek help from a professional. There are people out there that can really help you! Start with a counselor at your school. It can be completely confidential if you want it to be, just let the counselor know. As long as you take the right steps and get help, things will get better and your life will turn around and become really awesome. If you're afraid to talk to a counselor yet, there are lots of hotlines you can call. It's a good place to start if you want to take it a little slower. Here's a link to a huge list of them so you can pick which one would fit you best. A lot of them won't apply at all.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I wish you the best of luck and remember, you're not a terrible person, just a person that has had some terrible experiences you haven't gotten over yet. :)
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I agree with YG that you just aren't ready to deal with a relationship.
You need to take some time and figure out what it is you want for your life. If you continue to follow such paths in relationships, you will be sad and miserable.
You owe this guy an apology. You need to realize that yes, he does mean what he said, and that he has very valid reason to feel that way. Tell him that you are sorry that you hurt him like that, but don't lie and say you feel bad for doing it.
You are just giving him the apology he deserves.
Come to grips with the fact that yes, you have surely lost him. He would be nuts to want to try to start anew with someone who deliberately hurt him. Put yourself in his shoes- would you go back to you?
Seems to me what you do care about is that you think you need him. You got to learn to stand on your own two feet in this life. You don't need anybody but yourself. Yah, a guy adds a nice touch to life, but you don't need him to go on with life.
You are resorting to self-harm. You DO need to seek help with that. Talk to your parents about what's going on inside your head. They can't help you if they don't know what the problem is. They won't know the problem if you shut them out of your life.
ygs-29/f
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You pushed him to far and now you will
have to live with the consequences.
You keep saying you care in one sentence
and that you don't want to care in another.
Then you say you need him in your life and
can't lose him. You don't care or you wouldn't
have done what you did. When you care for
someone you never hurt them on purpose.
So, while you say you care you really do not.
You have taken a guy who cared for you, who
was there for you through all your BS and
ripped his heart out and stomped on it.
You are selfish. You are immature and not
ready for a real relationship.
Get some help for your cutting and suicidal
thoughts. Tell your parents and get some help.
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Sounds to me like you want him to be jealous, and that you are testing your bounderies, people will not always come running back to you if you keep hurting them, everyone has limits, stop trying to make people prove their loyalty to you it never works, there is no endless love. and about your cutting, you need to get better control of yourself, that is a sign of weakness on your part saying that you cant handle anything, get upset, get pissed, punch a pillow, write it all down and burn it, but dont cut, you can get skin infections, hepatitis and weaken your immune system, and tell him your sorry that you tried to drive him away, because everyone else has left and you just wanted to see if he would also. deal with your problems before taking on a relationship, you need to love yourself before someone else. BRIE
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1.Get help for your suicidal "attempts"
2.Thats not cool
3. Why would you make guys call your boyfriend and say that?
4. This is why men think that most women are "sluts"
5. Its probably true that most women are like you.
6. What you did gives women in general a bad name.
7. If you really cared about him, you wouldnt feel A LITTLE guilty. You would feel horrible. I would never do that.
8. Just get help.
Now that I have established the whole "truth" part, lets try to resolve this little problem. Be honest with him and tell him why you did what you did. APOLOGIZE!!! Try to be nicer and think before you act. Think, "Hmmm, would I like it if he did this to me?" Treat others the way you would like to be treated. I apologize if im being a b with and itch, but, Im just telling you the truth. Remember, he is a person, a real person, not one of your dolls.
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I'm sorry but having those three guys call him was rude and uncalled for, any boyfriend would be PISSED! So, you should feel bad about that..
And for you kissing a girl and him saying he didn't care, I'm pretty sure he wouldnt mind because it was a girl, not a guy. That's totally different, you wouldn't date the girl, would you, I'm guessing no, but you would date a guy, so that's why that's different. And you never know he may have thought it was hot, I know most guys do.
Just talk to him about it, asap. I would apologize if I were you because what you did was rude. Tell him the girl kiss was a dare, and you never and would never cheat on him with a guy or those ones. Tell him you love him, and care about him and don't want to hurt him and want to make this work.
Good Luck & Hope I Helped !
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