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This should not really be under *friendships* <<< Previous Question
Next Question >>> peter and jules

Boyfriends


Question Posted Saturday December 20 2003, 9:49 pm


My daughter is currently 13 years old. She's fairly mature and doesn't dress slutty. Now, she has liked this guy for about half a year. Today, he asked her out. They want to go see a movie with another couple their age on monday. I don't know if I should let her go. What is your stance on this? Is 13 too young to be dating?


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DancinCutie08 answered Friday November 12 2004, 9:21 pm:
let her go if you trust her. if u dont let her go she will repel like most teens do and she may turn into that little sluty girl that you dont want to be. i know its hard to let go of your baby but its better now than to upset her and she may not trust you anymore. if you need anymore help just email me. my emial is on my column. i know how the teenage girl brain works. im just over a year older than your daughter.

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S_C answered Friday July 2 2004, 1:38 pm:
At 13 I think group dates are the most appropriate. I wouldn't really trust two 13 year olds to be alone these days, it's just too risky.

Group dates or "dates" at the house are okay, but I being alone together at night just isn't probably anymore.

It's hard to trust kids these days no matter how responsible they seem...

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bAhAmAmA0250 answered Saturday June 5 2004, 5:55 pm:
My mom doesnt let me go on a date date. If im with another couple let her go. Nothing would happan. You have people all around you anyways. And if theres a parent bringing there and back its not a official date in that matter. I already had that convorsation with my mom last night. Its not a date. Its just a group of 4 hanging out. Weather they like eachother or not. They're young let her live life to the fullest. And let her know that you trust her and if she breaks the trust you will have a hard time letting her do something like this again!

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Courtney answered Wednesday April 14 2004, 1:43 am:
It really depends on what type of person you think your daughter is . I would let my daughter go out with this guy because, she's not going to be young forever . She's not going to be daddy's little girl any longer . So let them go , but have a time where she should be home or a time and a specific place where she should be when picking your daughter up . Lay down some rules but not strict rules . AND DON'T FOLLOW THEM . ONLY DO THIS IF YOU CAN'T TRUST YOUR DAUGHTER AND DON'T SAY YOU DON'T TRUST "HIM" BECAUSE, I THINK YOUR DAUGHTER IS SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW NOT TO GO OUT WITH SOMEONE SHE CAN'T HANDLE . TRUST HER . YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT . * &()#

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Winona1992 answered Monday April 12 2004, 1:31 am:
I am 13, my parents let me start dating this year. Maybe, you arent ready to let your daughter go yet, so maybe you should wait another year if you feel this way. But tell her how you feel, and agree on "The Rules" maybe set a cerfew, or lend her your cell phone, so you make sure that you feel confident about this.

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wifey11 answered Friday February 27 2004, 6:05 pm:
i was shocked when my 9 year old son told me he has a girlfriend and they were planning a datew at the cinema, i couldnt let them go so i said why dont she come to our house and ill get you a movie and some popcorn, i thought he was gonna say no way, but to my suprise he said oh great your the best, after all im only nine and she wouldv`e wanted a kiss if we were at the cinema. i think you should try what i said first if that doesnt work explain the dangers out there and its not her you dont trust its the other people

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BewareOfCat2 answered Tuesday February 24 2004, 5:56 am:
Not at all! I'm 12 and already a couple of people have asked me out (I have said no to most of them just because i wasn't interested)/ It's completely natural for someone at our age to be intersted in boys. Don't be worried, she's smart enough to know when to get out. Good luck!

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Here-To-Help answered Wednesday December 31 2003, 6:00 pm:
Nom but know where she is at all times. You never know what could happen...but it's definitly not young to go out on a date. Like you said, she's fairly mature and dating will just open another mature side to her. You don't have to be worried because it's perfectly normal.

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fyre answered Wednesday December 31 2003, 11:11 am:
I'm 26 and not a parents, but my advice is yes, let her go.. Though I might stick to either double-dates or chaparoned dates for a while. (Note: The chaparone does not have to stay right with them, just in the same area, or require a check-in every hour or two).

Also, watch her fairly closely, if she starts slacking, acting less mature, dressing differently, etc... sit down and have a talk.

Oh, and of course now would be a good time for The Protection Talk... just in case.

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Lizzy answered Sunday December 28 2003, 9:31 pm:
If your daughter is mature and has liked this guy for months then I think it would be nice to let them go out since there will be another couple there too so they will be partially supervised in a way. Just bribe the other couple to do a little spying to make sure there isn't too much heat in the movie theature. Good Luck!
Lizzy

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BumBleBeE answered Friday December 26 2003, 5:35 am:
im thinking that u shoudl let her go and let her go any time she ants cuz she sounds mature and she only 13 i mean wat kinda trouble canbe caseed at 13...well lots but ur gurl doenst soudn bad soo let her gO!

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SunshineLvr91 answered Wednesday December 24 2003, 3:07 am:
Well, considering that I'm the same age as your daughter, then I would say that you should let her go! I don't dress slutty and I think I'm fairly mature. Girls our age are going through what grown-ups call "Puppy Love" and they just want to make it fun by going on dates and parties, etc.! :)

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Whatever answered Monday December 22 2003, 10:55 pm:
I think you should only let her go if there are other friends going with them. Also, set a curfew and make sure she follows it. If not, then she should get some kind of punishment. Never let her go on a date alone. Not at this age at least.

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chaos answered Monday December 22 2003, 6:39 pm:
If you are concerned about them, maybe you should offer to chaffuer them. I would especially think you need to meet all parties involved. Maybe invite them over to your house for movies.

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musicismyworld answered Monday December 22 2003, 6:10 pm:
let her go i am in the stage of life and my parents are always wondering to let me go or not and questiooning my judgement but trust me the more trust u put in ur child the more likely they r to listen to u and not go too far i mean my friends who dont date r always getting into trouble with boys but my friends who do date have much better jugdement b-cuz theyre parnets trust them and they dont want to dissapoint theyre parents and break theyre trust

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Kayla13 answered Monday December 22 2003, 7:36 am:
13 now a days are pretty mature and are pretty careful with what they do now they know bout everything I dont think 13 is to young to date the perfect age and since she is going with another couple it should be just fine there should be no worry if you trust her.You should let her date Now she is at a Mature age

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licentiousxbitch answered Sunday December 21 2003, 4:12 pm:
i think if she is mature and knows how to act her age, she should be allowed to start seeing boys. with some guidelines.
i'd say to set a reasonable curfew, send her with a cell phone just in case, and encourage her to double date with friends(it's always safer).

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blair_the_black_iris answered Sunday December 21 2003, 3:56 pm:
today 13 year olds are as mature as 16 year olds were 20 years ago i think its ok it sounds like u trust her and if u do it shouldnt be a problem. and i guess since its with another couple its not like its just them by themselfs, i really dont see a problem with it

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ScaperJess answered Sunday December 21 2003, 3:35 pm:
now a day's people are dating younger and younger... it's a bit crazy if you ask me but i had a "boy friend" in 7th grade we didn't go anywhere and only were "dating" for 3 days but i also remember how in 6th grade the girls would always talk about how they had 6 boyfriends already... with the trend now be glade she is 13 she could very well be younger and asking thins... the trend says it's not to early...

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alioop3305 answered Sunday December 21 2003, 5:42 am:
i think if she's mature enough to know not to do anything stupid then she will be fine. be glad she told you all of this though! i never told my mother anything because she treated me like i was way to young to have a boyfriend even though i did. if you treat her like an adult then she will act like one and you will be just fine. good luck!

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Deanimal answered Sunday December 21 2003, 4:13 am:
In my opinion, a double date at this age is appropriate. If she had asked to go out alone, then no, but as long as there are other kids, I say alright. CHECK to be sure there are other kids though. I also reccomend calling/talking to the parent(s) of her date. JUST TO MAKE ARRANGMENTS. Don't discuss their relationship, or anything of the sort. But do let her go. :)

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Turc answered Sunday December 21 2003, 12:28 am:
If your daughter is mature and smart about things, she seems like she should be old enough to go out with the boy. Personally, I had my first boyfriend when I was 13, and after my parents talked to him and got to know that he was an alright guy, they let me go places with him. If you don't already know the kid, talk to him and find out about his background, his interests, etc. It'll embarass your daughter but she'll realize eventually that you were just looking out for her well being.

Plus, if it's a double date, it won't be as weird as her going off on her own with this guy yet.

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shay*shay answered Saturday December 20 2003, 11:14 pm:
If it is a double date things will seem to be okay. Just make sure you know her friend well. And same with the parents. That is very important.
-shay :-)

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FernGully answered Saturday December 20 2003, 10:47 pm:
I definitely think you should let her go. You've acknowledged that she is mature, and if you truly believe that you've taught her all that you can about right and wrong, then there is not much more you can do. You can take advantage of this opportunity now because she is still young, make this the opportunity to open up a good line of communication with your daughter. After her date, see if she wants to talk to you about it, and make her feel comfortable in telling you anything she needs to. That way, when she gets older you will know what is going on in her life to an extent, and are able to still talk to her. If she feels she can't talk to you at this age, then later in life it will even more difficult for her.

As well, if you tell her she isn't allowed to go she may feel trappedand be angry with you for not allowing her to go. Perhaps you could tell her that it is completely her decision on whether or not to go, if she feels mature enough, then you'll be behind her all the way (theoretically speaking of course).

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OneMan answered Saturday December 20 2003, 10:30 pm:
I think this is more a matter of trust than it is their ages. I think that if you feel relatively good about the job you've done with instilling certain values in your daughter, and I'm sure you have ( you're aware of the fact that she liked this guy for over a year ), then I don't think you'll have a problem...and neither will she. You've done a good job, mom, let go of the reigns a little and see if she reflects the trust you have in her.

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