At the beginning of the year, my resolution was to be transparent and build closer relationship with people. I felt like I only had surface relationship and I wanted to change that this year. I started with my sister, I told myself I would reach out to her and go beyond the surface. Unfortunately, we had a misunderstanding and I quickly realized that she was incapable of giving me what I needed. I expected her to be more emotionally available, I expect her to be consistent in keeping in touch, I expected her to be understanding. She let me down and I built a wall. Then, there was the relationship I had with two women that were once my friends. The first girl she was understanding, supportative and there for me. But, she changed. It seems like she didn't care about my feelings anymore. Then, the last girl I don't know what happened. I expected so much from her. I remember we were working on a group project and I left and didn't come back. I was disappointed that she didn't text me and asked if I was okay. I was stressed and I expected her to be there for me. Well, after letting go of these relationships because I feel like they weren't meeting my need, I feel sad. I just expect more from my friends and family and tend to let go of relationships that don't meet my expectations. I guess I am protecting myself. I just need to know if their anything I can learn about myself from these relationships. I know what I want and I feel like I deserve it. Is there another way to look at this?
What you experienced here my friend is life. People come and go in our lives but as people leave we can also welcome more people into our lives. I used to have a friend when I was younger and we did everything together and we were pretty much inseparable but eventually he moved and made new friends and I never heard from him for a very long time (even got married and had 2 kids). Eventually I did what you did though and went out my way to try and reconnect to some level which worked but we were far from as close as we once were but this was something I expected as he has his whole own life to lead with his own friends and such but we still talk here and there on social media and if ever I am in the area where he lives I will certainly go and visit. This has happened a lot but one thing I did not do was turn away disappointed and then put up a wall around me for those who just never bothered to make an effort. If they couldn't be bothered that was their choice and it made no difference to me, but at the same time I will not turn away if they actually do decide to get in touch one day, you just never know.
Family is a little more complicated because you can't choose who you have as family and all I can try and say is maybe give it a bit of time and perhaps try again with them. Maybe you can explain why you have been trying with them - because their your family and you want them to be a family to you. If they understand why you are trying so hard maybe it will make them more receptive to the idea of trying to connect.
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First off, this is really my friend and not me. She's in her 20's and her parents are stalking her. She doesn't live with them, but rather in an apartment they pay for and she lives two hours away from them. They're part of a strict faith, but she's already denounced herself from it and they know that.
Yet, her dad is constantly texting her right after she gets home from driving somewhere asking her questions about where she went and why. He tells her she better not lie to him about whether she went out or not and usually already knows when she has.
He's even told her she better not go outside without telling him. It's really crazy.
My question is what can she do about it? We already eliminated the chance that he was tracking her via her phone's GPS or by bank account transactions. Now we think he might have hidden a GPS tracker maybe in her car but she's has two people look through her car and they didn't find anything.
She doesn't have any social media accounts to track her by.
Now we think maybe he's paying somebody to stalk her.
What can we do about this? She's too scared to go to the police and ruin things with her family because they pay for everything for her. I think it's gotten out of hand though and the paranoia is really getting to her. She's scared to leave her house now. :(
A lot of cars come with built-in GPS systems that can be used to track where your car is (especially if it gets stolen) and many companies also use it to ensure their employees are not abusing company cars for their own personal use. I would suspect the reason no one found anything in her car is because the GPS is built into the car so is not a stand alone device to find. In regards to this GPS and her parents using it to track her, she has a few choices. She can take it into a garage or workshop that deal with her model of car (calling them before going to ensure they can carry out the work would be a good idea) and she can ask them to disable the GPS. However, her parents may know what she has done when they see that the last trip she made was to a workshop/garage and after that the GPS went dead. Alternatively you can look up her cars make and model online and see if there is a guide available on finding and disabling the GPS. The last and best choice in my opinion will be to call around and see if there are garages who can disable the GPS (they may question why she wants to do this) and if they are able to come out to her car to do this instead of her having to take it in. Depending on where the GPS is located and how easy it is to get to they might be able to do this.
Taking care of the GPS though is only part of the problem here. Although she may have denounced her faith, it does not change that she is still her parents' daughter and they are perhaps concerned about her. I am an adult and my parents still treat me like I'm a teenager, this is just how some parents can be and it is not always a bad thing either. The biggest issue here unfortunately is that her parents are paying for everything so as much as she may want to push back, they still have the last say because they are the ones providing for her to even live by herself in the first place. If she truly wants to be independent she will need to consider paying her own way. It will be the only real way that her parents won't have anything to hold over her head.
The only other way I see around all of this which may avoid a lot of drama is for her to use her car when going to work or shopping and such so when her parents ask where she went she can just tell the truth and be done with it. When she wants to go somewhere else without being tracked she should use public transport, a taxi or arrange a lift to and from the place with a friend. It's probably annoying but given the circumstances her parents are happy and she will not have created any kind of rift with her relationship with her parents. At least until she manages to get her own place or is able to take up the costs herself of her place and such.
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I don't have a lot of friends andI know I should be grateful for the ones I do have but I feel alone. I don't have like a group of friends all my friends are from different groups. I used to have a group of friends but we're not really friends anymore but that's a story for another time. Anyways lets talk about the kinds of friends I have friend A is really judgemental and she's always called me ugly but with mixed signals I don't if she knows that I caught on but oh well but this is how she'd call me ugly in grade 8 she said that me and this guy would look cute together, the next day she said that same guy and this other girl would look cute together because they're both ugly. She just basically called me ugly without remembering what she said the day before. Grade 9 comes and she says "wow you're so lucky you're not popular cause I don't hear boys talk about you and say that you're super ugly" so she just called me ugly again. Grade 10 comes and she looks at me and says "wow I'm imagining how you'd look with makeup and longer hair you'd look really good" which indicates sheets 's still not happy with my appearance, grade 11 comes and my hair is finally longer and she says "see I told you, you'd look better with longer hair now all you need is makeup" indicating she's still not happy with how I look. Grade 12 just started and she's still bringing up I should wear makeup. I finally branched out in making new friends too so in grade 10 I became friends with friend B we clicked and hung out a lot in the summer until Halloween of grade 11 when she got a boyfriend and to this day she only talks to me about her boyfriend, doesn't invite me out anywhere unless her boyfriend comes, even when you tell her that you want a girls night he still finds a way to come. They're basically joined at the hip cause they're always together so of course I feel alone when I hangout with her cause now whenever I tell her my problems she relates it to her boyfriend, I'm friends with her boyfriend too but they're just annoying. Friend C only talks about her culture and makeup and whenever you bring something else up she says "stop its gonna make me depressed" in the summer she used to call me every single day and I'm not exaggerating whether I was out with family she would call, now she has a guy to talk to and now that's all she talks about, she's like friend B where if you bring something up she'll relate it to the guy. Friend D only talks about boys and again whenever you bring up something else she'll brush it off and talk about her problems but out of all these friends id probably have fun hanging out with friend D because this summer she was the only one that wanted to hangout with me. Friend A and I only talk in school, friend B was all about her boyfriend and I don't wanna hangout with friend C because she's too "classy" to take public transit. Her words not mine. I just want a friend where we can both talk about our problems equally, still be able to have inside jokes and we're not judgemental about each other, we wouldn't talk about the same thing 24/7 and we'd go places. With the friends I have now let me just tell you this now none of them really personally know anything about me I've known friend D the longest out of all of them and she didn't even know my family background till this year that's to tell you how self-centred my friends are but I could tell you so many facts about them. I've tried making more friends at my school but now that it's grade 12 cliques are already formed and I'm super shy I'm surprised I've made different friends but the ones I haven't mentioned are just acquaintances that don't want to be anything more than a school friend. What do I do what can I do to stop feeling lonely when I have friends? I have social media too but I also feel alone on there too cause no one interacts with me whenever I interact with them they just favourite my tweet and that's it. Please help and thank you if you've read up to this point and sorry if there are a lot of typos this was typed on my iPhone. I also tried joining clubs and so far everyone in the clubs are friends with each other already so they kind of automatically excluded me with out their knowledge
Hi. I do know what you mean in a way. I have a handful of friends who I love with all my heart but even being with them I can't help but still feel alone.
It sounds like you have out-matured your friends you have spoken about but also you may end up one day doing the same thing that a couple of them are now doing (being joined at the hip with their boyfriend for example). Unfortunately it does happen and has done with a number of my friends as well, I actually lost one of my best friends because her boyfriend made her choose between me or him. :/
I will say this much though, this friend that hints at you being ugly - this is one persons narrow opinion so don't let it get to you at all. Be yourself and be true to yourself and to who you are - it will be appreciated far more in the long term.
Making friends can be a simply step (as simple as saying hello to a stranger) but being friends at the level that you seek always takes time so try not to worry or rush this - it will happen in due time. I am far older than you and only recently can say I have the most amazing few friends who I trust with my life. A couple of years back I probably would not have been able to say that. Building a strong friendship takes time but this will all come in due time. Some people will enter your life and others will leave, this is just how things work out but don't worry - this kind of friendship you are looking for will come in time. As for joining clubs, this problem with them all already having their own circle of friends will always be a problem but try talking to them and let them see who you are as a person and you may find you fit in perfectly. It will take a bit of a time but you will be able to do it. :)
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i dont know if this is weird but i love talking to random people. not like, aol chat rooms where you talk for 2 seconds and then someone ims you wanting sex from you but just casual conversation. are there any websites that are safe and let you talk to people your age (16-18years old)??
p.s. i really love talking to foreign people. like from england, ireland or france (i speak some french)
Hi.
I'm a lot like yourself, and also love talking to new and random people, especially those who are from abroad (I'm in England myself).
There are a number of chat rooms and social network web sites which you can join (bebo, myspace, netlog etc) but when it comes to finding a place that's safe and that part could very well be a problem. If you're strong willed and can take some crap from people and know where to draw the line then you should be safe enough from perverts and annoying 'go on cam and strip' and 'send me pictures' people on them. There may be places who offer chat rooms where they are moderated which may also be safe to use (but being harassed by IMs can still be a problem.
Most social network web sites include filters where you can block certain age groups accessing your profile or contacting you and block annoying people which is always a handy thing to know if you're afraid of strange people contacting you.
Be aware though that all this only helps to a certain degree since many people have the tendency to make fake profiles (having studied netlog in particular a fair bit - it happens a lot over there).
Searching for penpal sites in google may give you some results as well.
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15/F
sorry for the length.
please, just read and respond.
Here's the deal. This isn't one of those stories where I ask advice for my friend. It really is him. Alright, well a little while ago I went to my cousins house and I met his neighbor whom I clicked with immedietly. We had this instant atraction that was werid because Iusualy wouldn't go for guys like him. I'm a good girl, because of the choices I make, and he's more of the bad boy who's been through alot. So we liked eachother a little bit, but he lives about an hour away and I have a boyfriend, and he had a girlfriend.The feelings faded how I wanted them too. When we got to know eachother, he told me that he cuts. I got him to stop and he promied me that he'd never do it again, but only because he loves me and that he wants to make sure that I trust him. I got him through alot of stuff and I became his "hero" as he says. A little while after that he told me that he missed his ex and that his life meant nothing to him anymore and I had to convince him to not take his life. I don't say anything inconsiderate and I talk to him about his feelings. I know how to play. He thanked me for the help and everything was fine for awhile. Then, yesturday, he told me that he broke up with the girlfriend that he currently had because they lived far away. I asked him if I could help and he said no, because, "It scares me how much I care about you, and I can't take loving you anymore." I didn't understand what he meant by this and I tried over and over again to ask him but he never gave me the explaination that I wanted. I thought we were over what we had, but maybe he doens't like me anymore. I asked if he still had feelings for me and he said yes, but I just really don't know. I asked him if he broke up with his girlfriend because of me and he said that he didn't know. I'm gonig up to my aunts house on monday and I'm gonig to see him because he is my aunts neighbor. I'm just afraid that things will be different and that I'll make him feel weird. We had somthing, I'll admit. I love the boyfriend that I have right now and I don't want anything to rekindle with my aunts neighbor. I want to be there for him, but I don't wnat to fall for him. I had a big problem with this last time and it almost caused me and my boyfriend to brake up. This kid means alot to me, and he changed me as a person and I see life alot differently. I just recently lost one of my best friends and he helped me get through. Now I want to be there for him. I can't have him take his life or hurt himself. Please...please help me. I sound desperate, but what would you do if you were me.
you could help me, help him save his LIFE.
thankyou and God bless all who resppond.
I don't actually know where to start because most of what I am going to say will more than likely sound insulting and certainly not nice but regardless, it's from experience as well as being in my nature to see how full of shit some people can be.
The first thing that caught my attention is that line he said to you... "It scares me how much I care about you, and I can't take loving you anymore." It seems pretty straight forward what he's saying... he's saying he likes you and he can't take it because liking you means he can't have you (you have a bf and I assume he knows this). I also have a very strange feeling that when you do meet him he may say he loves you but can't have you so he doesn't want to live anymore etc, etc, etc. If he does - how predictable. I admire your need in wanting to help but you have to be clear headed and know when you're being played for a fool - just incase that is what this guy is doing. For all you know he may have been using the same crap to keep his ex around until she finally decided she had enough. The truth is you only have one side of the story which is his side.
As for this problem with you and your boyfriend and how you don't want there to be a problem popping up again with this other kid, if this is really what you want then I suggest you go there knowing full well what your getting yourself into. He obviously likes you (even admitted it to you) and he needs emotional support (apparently). So be prepared for that and also KNOW when and where you need to draw the line. If you love your bf you've no excuse to fall for him. If you really are that scared then ensure he knows straight out that you only think of him as a friend and nothing else. You will need to make sure he understands this very clearly. If you told him anything about how you felt he will see it as a weakness and know that he has a chance of being able to pull you away from your bf. More to the point though, what gets me is that this guy says he broke up with his gf becuase of distance but then you're also an hour away from him anyway. It's not like he would be able to see you on a regular basis is it?
Overall I really do admire that you want to help this kid but be smart and don't get caught up in any emotional blackmail in the process. If I'm wrong about this guy (which happens on rare occasions) then I really do hope you manage to help him out but at some point he will need to help himself out as well. As someone once said, you can open the door but he's the one who has to walk through it.
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I don't know either do you think he is really trying to be my brother or he is just saying that?
To be honest I don't know. Most guys if they still like you will act defensive and say they are your friend but they would rarely go as far as saying they are like your brother. So either he said that without realising what he was saying or he really does feel that way. I think one of the best ways to find out might be just to ask him about it and ask him if he really meant what he had written about him being like your brother, and see what he says. :)
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you recently answered one of my problems and if you don't mind ide like to ask you a little bit more about it.. ok well i looked at your advice and it made alot of sense, but the problem is she dosent talk to me as much as she did a while back.. and i just want to fix things and one of my friends was saying she didn't mention me about anything when she asked who she was at the mall with.. which means ive really messed this up and i just don't know how to fix it.. -thanks
Hmm, thats really strange. It might just be that you ave pushed it a bit much hence she's become the way she is. I think best thing you can do is totally chill out when around her. Have a laugh with her and her friends and just try to create a more friendly environment around her so she doesn't feel awkward or anything like that around you. When she eases up a little she will automatically just start talking to you and you can let her know what you need to tell her (about wanting to fix things). I think once you have all that cleared up with her things should slowly turn back to how they were although do remember it may take some time.
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There`s this girl that I was best friends with all last year, but to make a long story short, she didn`t alot of things and started alot of rumors about me. So, I tried to gradually break away from her, but I learned something about her today. Her brother is one of my best friends and he`s not the type to break down crying over nothing. In school today, he started crying and put his head on his desk, so I asked him what was wrong. According to him, his parents have been beating them since around September. I remember the girl calling me in September when her brother had start crying (this was the first time it had happened) and I had asked her about it. She told me it was because her father had hit him, but then the next day she called and said that she was joking. The orphanage place came to the school today after her brother went to the counselor and called her to the counselor as well. Even though I strongly dislike this girl, I honestly want to help even though I`m not sure why. If that makes any sense...any ideas of something I can do for them or to at least cheer them up to let them know that someone cares?
Makes perfect sense and to want to help someone who you don't like is a show of great character and heart, I bow to your wisdom.
You never need a reason to help someone. i mean all these people on advicenators do so for their own reasons but many are probably here simply because they want to help and not for any real specific reason. I think if everyone could do this, to just help for the sake of helping instead of asking themselves why they should help, then the world would be a far better place than it is.
I think the best course of action might be to just let either of them know that you're there for them. In a time like this, with what they are going through, the most important thing they could want is a friend. Just that could make the world of difference. So letting them know that they have you there as a friend if they need someone to talk to because their not alone could probably be the best thing you could do for them to show them that you care and want to help.
“Teach me to feel another's woe,To hide the fault I see,That mercy I to others show,That mercy show to me.” --Alexander Pope.
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I know he wants a gf but I told him i'm only settle down for a friendship because i dont have that chemistry for him. We hungout at the mall and went into a store and he wanted to buy me something but i said no you dont have to. I feel bad but he said no its not bad i just want to buy you something like a friend would buy a gift to a friend. I got confused whether he wants to buy me something shows he cheerish our friendhship or he is trying to get me while we're at a friend's stage. I know that he concern about other guy's comment on my facebook like he asked me who is that guy who comment you on facebook? Where you met him?
I can't believe he called you yo make up girl
that is rude of him and he actually message that guy and said to him that he is a friend of mine and currently a brother too can't stand him calling me make up girl and said to him do not call her make up cuz she has a name. Dose that mean my guy friend havent dropped that feeling down and planning to persue on?
One thing to understand about guys is that it's hard for them to change - period. It is pretty much for anyone really but telling a guy who likes you to stop feeling that way about you is not an easy thing to do. It will happen but it will take time. Some will just move on even though they may still have lingering feelings still there for you - it happens and it's all a part of life, he will get over it.
I've had friends buy me things all the time even though we're just friends (I liked her and she only wanted to be friends and when we were hanging out one day she brought me a top as a gift just because she said it would look good on me). She did it just as a friendly gesture and that's it so he may have pretty much done the same. The whole thing about facebook and that message you got could just be down to him being jealous or he really did find it offensive, what that guy had referred to you as. Personally I think he may have slightly overstepped by sending that message to this other guy, if anyone should have said somehting about it, it should have been you if you found it offensive or didn't like it.
He may still obviously have feelings for you but you will just need to give him time to get over them and to move on. The only thing however that makes me think I could be wrong is how he said he was your friend and like your brother... did he mean that or was he just saying that. If he meant it then it may just be nothing but him being overly protective. :)
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This is a really long message, My name is Dylan and im 15. Ok about 3 weeks ago, i was on myspace and i had a friends request from someone i didn't know but they were the same age as me and had some of the same friends as me so i accepted and we have no classes with eachother but go to the same school, so we started talking alot a few days after that, i asked if she wanted to go do something at the movies, she said yes and gave me her number and i gave her mine. We each sent about 1,000 texts to eachother and we had planned on going the movies that next Saturday, and early on just incase she didn't know i said i didn't want to be strung along or get the wrong message . So it was Saturday and she had to cancel because of her dad and i believe she really did have to cancel but then later that night she said she really liked me as a friend, and i had a hard time coping with that, but she invited me to go to the mall a couple of times, but every time we go its usually with a few of her friends and its really awkward and she is really shy. But yesterday we went i guess as friends, it was me and 2 of my friends and her and 6 of her friends that went to the mall, i was talking to her friend and she said that Bethany (the girl i like) thought i didn't want to talk to her, and we all had originally had planned on going to the movies that night. So when it was time for the movies i thought i would do something big. We all went to the top but then everyone else decided they wanted to go way down further, so they all went and i stayed up there by myself trying to talk to her 1 on 1. But she didn't stay and i texted her to come up and talk to me, she said for me to come down there but i explained to her i wanted to talk to her and not everyone else but all she said was please come down. And i think i just keep making it more awkward. I feel bad and i honestly feel like i cant find a reason to get out of bed. I don't know where to go from here, please point me in the right direction! -Thanks
The best direction to go from here is forward. She was honest with you and made it clear she only wants to be friends and you need to accept that which is something you seem to be having a hard time in doing. You are also pushing the issue by wanting to talk to her alone - my guess is she will know exactly what you want to talk to her about (the whole only wanting to be friends and such) or something along those lines that may make her feel awkward or otherwise pushed into wanting more than just friends.
I think the best thing you can do is respect her decision and just (even if it's just for now) be friends with her. Open and loosen up a little and have fun. Don't make her feel awkward and she will eventually open up to you by herself and want to talk to you. As for the whole reason for getting out of bed... your only 15, that should be reason enough. There's a lot more going on in the world than some girl (no matter how amazing she might be) who turned you down. There'll be plenty others and your world doesn't (no matter how much you may think or want it to) revolve around her. I've had a very sheltered childhood. I never got to do a lot of things many got and get to do so use the time you have to enjoy yourself. You'll only regret it afterwards otherwise.
The reason this girl you like may have thought you don't want to talk to her is because of her saying she only likes you as a friend since it's usually enough to put most guys off into never talking to that person again (not the right way to go about it in my opinion but then most guys can't have a female as a friend without wanting more from them as well).
Step back, take a deep breath and think about this whole thing in a logical way and you'll see where I'm coming from. :) Just be what she wants you to be for now (a friend) and see where it goes from there but don't force it and certainly don't keep bringing it up as it'll turn her wanting to be friends with you into her wanting to avoid you to avoid the confrontation over and over again. I know you like her (we all been there dude) and I'm not saying forget about her because you can't. All I'm saying is move on though and don't deny yourself the next person who might come along.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” --Alexander Graham Bell.
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I REALLY hate my stupid mom right now!!!!!!!! Ok, well I wanted to spend the night at my friend (g's) house. Problem is, she has 2 cats and im allergic to them. And everytime I ask to go over to her house, she says no she has cats! And all my friends have cats!!! so I can never spend the night any where because my mom is stupid!! Help *sniff*
You have to see this from your moms perspective.. an allergy can be mild and it can be sever - so sever that it can become life threatening. Your mom is only worried about you, that's all. Maybe reasurring your mom that certain precations or steps will be taken whilst you are at your friends will help to ease your moms worry a little and let you go?
I think you can easily solve this problem simply by just talking to your mom about it. :)
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16/f.
i've been talking to this guy (19yo) online because i was bored. yes, stupid, i know. i met him on a forum and we've talked on msn for a year and some months.
he used to be nice, and i used to like him. but now, i think he's disgusting. he's perverted, makes the most GROSSEST jokes, and never even talks to me when i sign on. he's honestly a waste of time.
but we're still pretty close. if i were to delete him, like..i wouldn't care. whatever. i hate him anyways. but he would start stalking me on my e-mail and stuff and bothering me. and it just really creeps me out that he likes me in 'that way'.
do i just delete him? like that? he's really gross. and i'm even scared that he could be a pedophile (i can see it being possible :/)
I certainly wouldn't put it past since the internet is full of predators but some are just simply creepy and a**holes. :)
Best bet is to delete AND block him from your MSN as well as logging into your hotmail account and then in settings you put his email address on the black/block list. This way he won't be able to stalk you. This would be the best thing to do given what he is like and what he can possibly be. Beware that he may resort into making a new MSN account in an attempt to try and contact you that way, even pretending to be someone else. You'll just need to be careful when strangers add you (ask them why they added you and where they got your email address from).
The best thing to remember though is that if he does persist you CAN do something about it. Report it (there are various child protection agencies specifically equipped to combat people like that).
Good luck and feel free to message should you need any more help with this guy.
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Me and Adam got in a fight.
I donno I call him the Future Gay Kid. He calls me Fat. I KNOW not really great friend but It was like the friendship WE HAD.
I was joking with Steven about him and he flipped out on me saying im not gay and stuff which i know hes not..I didnt know it would hurt his feelings. I wouldnt if i knew it hurt him so much.
Well then Becky brought up how he calls me fat and it only made him madder.. but its true i dont like him calling me fat but i am. it hurts my feelings but when i tell him to stop he makes a joke about it. or that hes just kidding.
I dont want him mad at me. I dont.. ill stop calling him future gay kid if he stops calling me fat. He told becky that when he calls me fat its funny, but when i call him the future gay kid its gay.
i know it doesnt make any sence. i know because it doesnt to me.. i apoligized i told him i didnt want him mad at me and he completely ignored me..
... I think i like him. because when hes not saying im fat or anything, were flirting I KNOW were flirting because well first everyone says we are then he blushes and like No..... and its cute but then he goes and pulls this.
=\
SAD
I think telling him how you feel might be a good start and see how things go but if he's just going to act immature about the whole thing then let it be - it's his loss.
As for the gay thing I think it's unfair for you to not call him gay when he finds it amusing that he can call you fat and think it's funny - pure stupidity and narrow mindedness! Tell him your sorry but also explain to him how it hurts when he calls you fat and thinks it's funny. It wouldn't be funny if someone called him an ignorant asshole (which he clearly seems to be at this point) so I see no reasin why calling someone else something is something he can find amusing. Explain you'll stop saying he's gay because he doesn't like it but you'd like him to also stop saying your fat because it's hurtful and xplain how you feel about him and just see how things go from there. :)
Good luck. :)
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I have recently started talking to a friend I met in 7th grade we are both now in 11th. We dated in juinor high and were friends after the fact. We have always had a love hate relationship. I knew she had just gotten a boyfriend and I hadnt talked to her in a while because my girlfriend is insicure about her talking to me. So I havent spoken to this person in a while. The other day I was quite bored and out of the blue my friend called me. She told me that a movie that we saw when we were dating when we, was on tv. I was surprised at this because that date was very significant in our relationship. I was even more surprised she would bring this up because I knew she is dating this other guy. She was nice in the begining of the conversation and then our usual her calling me and idiot jokeingly and such started to happen. I then thought to my self when we hung up was she flirting with me or something. Dose anyone this event could mean anything or am I just being paronoid.
It could just be she wants to be friends again or it may even have just been light innocent flirting (meaning flirting but not meaning she wants it to lead anywhere). I think you may just be assuming too much from this one phone call. I can't really say for certain her intentions or if you're being paranoid because I don't know her or you well enough or what was said and the tone that was used etc, etc. There are a lot of factors to consider. I will say though to play it smart and cool and just see where it leads. :) The last thing you may want to do is assume too much.
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15/f
me and my friend ryan have been friends since freshman year and this summer.. we hungout all the time ;; when this school year came around he stopped talking to me completely and i was like what the hell? my friend kate told me that ryan is not talking to people that remind him of this girl sam (a girl he REALLY REALLY liked since freshmanyear that broke his heart) so he stopped talking to me and i got really upset but he's talking to kate and jill who was also really close with sam and like everybody else but me and sam (sam doesnt really care) =/ but a few weeks later i leave him a myspace message saying that friends dont do this to eachother you shouldnt throw away ourfriendship..blah blah blah he said sorry and stuff and i'm rightbut he still wont talk to me
he waves when i wave but nothing else
and it reallly makes me sad =[
idn what to do stop being friends with him
try to like talk to him more
like jill kate ryan and a few other ppl
sit at lunch together and i'd like to sit with them because jill and kate are really good friends of mine but idn if ryan would want me to
ah what should i do?
Agreeing with casiababyy. I just wanted to add to this that just because he has decided to end his friendship with you don't let that alienate you from your other friends. If he's sitting with your friends I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to go and sit with your friends. He shouldn't be putting you in a position like this in the first place.
Also, I just wanted to point out that something similar had happen to me as well. it was different circumstances but similar in ways and in the end it got to the point where I had just got tired of waiting and said fine have it your way and deleted the girls number. Now I don't talk to her at all. She has friends who I also am close to but I don't let that stop me talking to them because I refuse to be made to look like the one who's in the wrong when I'm not and when the situation was their choice not mine.
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my boyfriend and i have been together a year and this past month has been really bad, we have stopped really talking and such(and yes we are intimate)but last night was homecoming and we just stood there it felt really weird, i was wondering if yall have any ideas on how we can rebuild our friendship.(breaking up is not an option) thanks :]
This couldn't be good signs so I think you both need to address the problems you are both having and work through them TOGETHER otherwise they will only get worse and this gap between you both get bigger. Also, you have to remember that if you're the only one who wants to work things out and to rebuild things with you both again it will not be good enough. He has to want things to work and has to want to try as well for it to work. It doesn't work when only one person wants it and the other doesn't.
What was it that has brought you both at this point? Was it arguing about something or a number of things? Try to figure out what and wave the flag saying you both need to fix things - feeling weird around your boyfriend is clearly a sign something isn't right and I'm sure he may have felt it as well at the time. All I can really say is try to talk it out if it is a problem/argument that is the root of how you both got at this crossroad. If it's nothing like that then try doing things you both used to do before that you both really enjoyed. Go to a movie or ice skating or maybe even an amusement park - go out together for the day and have fun. Laugh together and talk to each other and try fix this gap that's appeared between you both.
I really hope you both manage to fix things.
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I was just wondering. Is there a differance betwwen what a guy considers a friend and what a girl does. I just was wondering because i consider this guy a friend and i am not sure if he thinks that i am a friend of him. Can you tell me what a guy considers a friend?
I think everyone has a difference of what they consider friend and not just a difference between guys and girls. For example to me a friend is someone I feel I can trust completely without question and someone I can tell anything without worrying about what they think of me. Suffice to say I only have a very small number of people I call true friends (VERY small) and the rest - well I guess their just people I know and hang out with and go out with and such. It's different for everyone abd with everyone. I've known many who I've considered very good friends yet they probably thought of me as nothing but just some guy they know. Everyone is different.
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how can you make a guy your friends with benefits with,
see you as more than that,
getting him to like you?
tthanksatonn!
Hi.
To be honest with you I doubt it would ever happen. Speaking from personal experience at least if I liked someone THAT much I wouldn't just be friends with them with benefits. I was happy with that cause it meant I didn't have all the annoyances that come with relationships (like not being able to flirt and such when I'm out). Given the choice of having more I wouldn't have wanted more. I could handle friends with benefits but a relationship meant commiting to that person and maintaining a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship which I just couldn't do either because I didn't feel that way about them or I just wasn't interested in settling down in that way.
Saying that, all guys are different so your best bet is to just ask him! He's your friend after all (as well as the benefits you share) so it's not like a bad thig to just ask. If you want more ask him how he feels about that and where you stand or if being friends with benefits is all it will ever be. If you feel you're getting emotionally involved (becoming attached in a way that you want more whereas all he wants is sex or whatever it is you both do without strings) then my advice will be to put a stop to it now so you save yourself a lot of heartache later. There's being friends with benefits and there's hopeing that by doing that you'll get them to like you more or feel something more for you. If it's the latter it shgouldn't take that for a guy to like you as more and if it's what you have to resort to then the guy is clearly not worthy of you anyway. :]
You can't force someone to like you, just remember that much. Ask him how he feels about you and see where it goes. The worst that can happen is he will say he only likes you as a friend and that's it.
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so i had a boyfriend...
he was also my best friend.
he got locked up and i got another boyfriend.
ive still tried wrighting him and now his dad says he is going to contact a lawyer because in my letters it says sexual && drug prefrences. but i dont remember writing anything obsene. he also says he is contacting a lawyer because my friend//xboy dosent want anything to do with me because of my new boyfriend...
and before, i had made (my now x) boy a myspace and now his dad freaked about that too.
i dont know what to do. i dont think i should get introuble. i feel terrible. i have no clue what to do. my parents dont know about my new boy because hes black and i dont want to tell my new boy about the trouble because it has to do with my old boy and he would be devistated.
someone, please help. im only 15/f.
I'd say just go with what Victoria said. Ignore the threats - it sounds like ramblings of a guy who's just trying find some way to get to you. You won't be getting into any trouble so don't worry about it. Look at this in a logical way - since when has it ever been illegal to talk about anything sexual or about drugs? What are they going to do? What kind of chanrges can they possibly press against you? My knowledge of law is not extensive but even I can see it's all a lot of rubbish. Don't worry about it at all. Cut him (your ex) loose because you don't need someone like that holding you back and making your life hell.
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okay so last year at school i had this really good friend named Sara. we had been friends for like 2 years and we told eachother EVERYTHING! we had a very good friendship. Then i got some new friends and so did she and we were still really good friends anyway even though she hated my friend named kelli. So sara started hanging out with some of the popular girls. me and sara's friendship started to fade cause sara started getting really clingy and really annoying and i was getting fed up with it! so then all of these rumors started going around about how kelli had broken up sara and my friendship and it totally wasn't true. so kelli used to be popular and all but now all of her friends (except for me) all started being mean to her and said they didn't want to be her friend anymore cause of what she did. kelli and me got really close and sara didn't want me to be her friend and tried to get me to join everyone else and i just said no and we never realy talked after that. so then more rumors started going around that i was kellis slave and that she was taking advantage of me and stuff like that which so wasn't true! so then after school ended people hated kelli and liked sara and then me and sara started talking again and stuff and we are friends again but now she started ignoring me again and i don't no what to do! So i'm friends with sara and kelli and thye both hate eachother and sara doesn't want me to be friends with kelli. please help me i no it's confusing sorry!
Hi.
I don't think anyone should have to give up their friends just because everyone else hates them. I have friends that other friends don't like but I still try and balance things out and get along with them all. I know they all hate each other and I generally just tell them if they have a problem with them - keep it with THEM. Not bring it up with me or bad mouth them to me because they are still my friend/s. I think all yoou really need to do is make this clear to your friend as well. Just tell her your her friend and you don't expect them both to get along but you don't want to get dragged into choosing between them.
When you was friends with Sara, Kelli didn't make you choose her or Sara so I don't see why Sara should. Point this out and just explain you want to be friends with them both and not have to choose. It's just plain stupid (since I can't think of a mode 'nicer' word at the moment). YOU decide who is and who isn't your friend - not somoene else. So don't let anyone else decide this for you. I have some friends who REALLY hate each other (I have to sometimes make sure there isn't going to be a huge fight when we all go out and one or the other is drunk). It'sa grim situation but I still manage to stay friends with them all regardless and if one does bad mouth the other and get me involved I tell them not to involve me since I have nothing against them.
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