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no longer friends
my boyfriend and i have been together a year and this past month has been really bad, we have stopped really talking and such(and yes we are intimate)but last night was homecoming and we just stood there it felt really weird, i was wondering if yall have any ideas on how we can rebuild our friendship.(breaking up is not an option) thanks :]
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Tell him you want. Explain that you want to actually be friends with him, not just someone to have sex with. It's hurtful when your boyfriend doesn't spend time with you. Let him know that.
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Breaking up should never be an option especially after a year! Hopefully you guys are close enough that you can talk about this stuff together. Talking is the key, let him know how you feel about your connection (or lack of one). Tell him how you feel. Ask him things like "Is everything OK?" or "How are you?" They seem like dumb things to say, but sometimes it's just small problems that have to do with his life outside your relationships that may be putting your relationship down. Asl osee if he has noticed anyhting like what you mentioned, if so that's good, a sence of agreement makes room for good improvment. If so without trying to be nosy and butting in see if theres anyhting you can do to help him out or feel better. Try talking a little about things he's interested in, regular conversations are great! Joking around and being flirty is also good! My bf and I used to play games when we had nothing to talk about. Keeping not bored with eachother will keep from being awkward.
Help this helps! =)
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This couldn't be good signs so I think you both need to address the problems you are both having and work through them TOGETHER otherwise they will only get worse and this gap between you both get bigger. Also, you have to remember that if you're the only one who wants to work things out and to rebuild things with you both again it will not be good enough. He has to want things to work and has to want to try as well for it to work. It doesn't work when only one person wants it and the other doesn't.
What was it that has brought you both at this point? Was it arguing about something or a number of things? Try to figure out what and wave the flag saying you both need to fix things - feeling weird around your boyfriend is clearly a sign something isn't right and I'm sure he may have felt it as well at the time. All I can really say is try to talk it out if it is a problem/argument that is the root of how you both got at this crossroad. If it's nothing like that then try doing things you both used to do before that you both really enjoyed. Go to a movie or ice skating or maybe even an amusement park - go out together for the day and have fun. Laugh together and talk to each other and try fix this gap that's appeared between you both.
I really hope you both manage to fix things.
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Try getting out more. Talk on the phone more often, or meet up more often. AIM and myspace work too, but they aren't really as great as hearing his voice/him hearing yours. And don't isolate yourselves either. Go on group dates to movies and stuff with your other couple_friends. It will help him open up more, and it will be less awkward, because with a bigger group, it usually isn't silent between all of you. Hope this helps!
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