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Girl problems
This is a really long message, My name is Dylan and im 15. Ok about 3 weeks ago, i was on myspace and i had a friends request from someone i didn't know but they were the same age as me and had some of the same friends as me so i accepted and we have no classes with eachother but go to the same school, so we started talking alot a few days after that, i asked if she wanted to go do something at the movies, she said yes and gave me her number and i gave her mine. We each sent about 1,000 texts to eachother and we had planned on going the movies that next Saturday, and early on just incase she didn't know i said i didn't want to be strung along or get the wrong message . So it was Saturday and she had to cancel because of her dad and i believe she really did have to cancel but then later that night she said she really liked me as a friend, and i had a hard time coping with that, but she invited me to go to the mall a couple of times, but every time we go its usually with a few of her friends and its really awkward and she is really shy. But yesterday we went i guess as friends, it was me and 2 of my friends and her and 6 of her friends that went to the mall, i was talking to her friend and she said that Bethany (the girl i like) thought i didn't want to talk to her, and we all had originally had planned on going to the movies that night. So when it was time for the movies i thought i would do something big. We all went to the top but then everyone else decided they wanted to go way down further, so they all went and i stayed up there by myself trying to talk to her 1 on 1. But she didn't stay and i texted her to come up and talk to me, she said for me to come down there but i explained to her i wanted to talk to her and not everyone else but all she said was please come down. And i think i just keep making it more awkward. I feel bad and i honestly feel like i cant find a reason to get out of bed. I don't know where to go from here, please point me in the right direction! -Thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
There are two possibilties I see:
One. She is too shy to make a move or even to allow you to make a move, in which case, you are right you can't help her or appraoch her without making it awkward. That has nothing to with you. That is her baggage and her insecureties robbing her of a chance with you. Don't blame yourself for it.
Two. She just isn't that into you. Also not your fault. Also not worth feeling like crud over.
Take a deep breath. Sleep it off. Give her space.
If she is interested perhaps she will get over her insecurities and give you a way in, but you have done all you can and made your interests very clear. Just be her friend for now. It's her turn to speak up if she wants something more.
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The best direction to go from here is forward. She was honest with you and made it clear she only wants to be friends and you need to accept that which is something you seem to be having a hard time in doing. You are also pushing the issue by wanting to talk to her alone - my guess is she will know exactly what you want to talk to her about (the whole only wanting to be friends and such) or something along those lines that may make her feel awkward or otherwise pushed into wanting more than just friends.
I think the best thing you can do is respect her decision and just (even if it's just for now) be friends with her. Open and loosen up a little and have fun. Don't make her feel awkward and she will eventually open up to you by herself and want to talk to you. As for the whole reason for getting out of bed... your only 15, that should be reason enough. There's a lot more going on in the world than some girl (no matter how amazing she might be) who turned you down. There'll be plenty others and your world doesn't (no matter how much you may think or want it to) revolve around her. I've had a very sheltered childhood. I never got to do a lot of things many got and get to do so use the time you have to enjoy yourself. You'll only regret it afterwards otherwise.
The reason this girl you like may have thought you don't want to talk to her is because of her saying she only likes you as a friend since it's usually enough to put most guys off into never talking to that person again (not the right way to go about it in my opinion but then most guys can't have a female as a friend without wanting more from them as well).
Step back, take a deep breath and think about this whole thing in a logical way and you'll see where I'm coming from. :) Just be what she wants you to be for now (a friend) and see where it goes from there but don't force it and certainly don't keep bringing it up as it'll turn her wanting to be friends with you into her wanting to avoid you to avoid the confrontation over and over again. I know you like her (we all been there dude) and I'm not saying forget about her because you can't. All I'm saying is move on though and don't deny yourself the next person who might come along.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” --Alexander Graham Bell.
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When your texting her, tell her you want to spend one on one time together. Have her come over to your house or you go to hers. Bring a couple of movies, buy a pizza and talk. Tell her how you like her. Ask her how she feels. Its better to do all this asking the questions in person, rather then texting. So you had the right idea when asking her to come up to the top with you. Hope I helped!<3=D
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