When life gives u lemons, make lemonade. Then, throw it in the face of the person who should've gotten you the oranges you orginally asked for.
What we do is determined by what we are. What we are is determined by what we think. What we think is determined by what we experience. What we experience is determined by what we are exposed to and what we do with that exposure.
(MIKE VANCE and DIANE DEACON)
Life is like a book with many different chapters. Some tell of tragedy, others of triumph. Some chapters are dull and ordinary, others intense and exciting. The key to being a success in life is to never stop on a difficult page, to never quit on a tough chapter. Champions have the courage to keep turning the pages because they know a better chapter lies ahead.
(RICH RUFFALO)
Because you're able to do it and because you have the right to do it, doesn't mean it's right to do it.
(Dr.LAURA SCHLESSINGER)
We are born with our eyes closed and our mouths open, and we spend our whole lives trying to reverse that mistake of nature.
(DALE E.TURNER)
You can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough. You must want it with an inner exuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy that created the world.
(SHEILAH GRAHAM)
We all have the ability. The difference is how we use it.
(STEVIE WONDER)
Everything is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied.
One person can make a difference and every person should try.
The one thing worse than being alone is not being alone and wishing you were.
Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.
(THEODORE N.VAIL)
The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.
(ROBERT C. DODDS)
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.
(EPICURUS)
When you look in the mirror, you are looking at the problem, but remember, you are also looking at the solution.
Live your life, so you don't have to hide your diary.
Dream what you dare to dream. Go where you want to go. Be what you want to be.
(CALVIN COOLIDGE)
The first thing of importance is to have confidence in yourself, in your abilities.
(KATHARINE GIBBS)
Become a 'possibilitarian'. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see the possibilities-always see them, for they are always there.
(NORMAN VINCENT PEALE)
DAVID COPPERFIELD just might be the greatest magician and illusionist of all time. He is definitely a legend in his own time. Here are some of his most inspiring quotes...
'The easiest thing in the world is to come up with an excuse not to do something. I found that the most important thing in life is to stop saying,'I wish,' and to start saying,'I will.'
'Before there can be wonders, there must be wonder.'
'Whenever I pursued my dreams, I discovered something astonishing-I discovered myself. My secret has been to consider nothing impossible. Then to treat possibilities as probabilities.'
'Passion is everything.'
'I learned that there were two ways I could live my life: following my dreams or doing something else. Dreams aren't a matter of chance, but a matter of choice. When I dream, I believe I am rehearsing my future.'
Miracles do not happen in contradiction to nature, but only in contradiction to that which is known to us of nature.
(SAINT AUGUSTINE)
The world is composed of givers and takers... the takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
(ROBERT FROST)
Love is a fruit in season at all times and within reach of every hand.
(MOTHER TERESA)
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So after I broke up with my boyfriend I forgot one little detail that still connected us. When we were together we got two hamsters together and now after this break up we don't know what to do. I mean I still love our hamsters and want to keep them and see them so we talked and we found a solution. My ex said that we can each keep them for 1 month...so my month is coming up but I don't know if its okay for me to see my ex having a new boyfriend myself. I mean I asked him if he was okay with it but he keeps telling me no comment so I ask if this solution I have with my ex is a good idea or should I just let him keep the hamsters???? (link)
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I honestly don't think that it's any of his business that you have a new boyfriend. You broke up, for whatever reason, and now you're separated and each one of you can do whatever they want. Like if he dates someone, it's not your concern who it is or you don't even have the right to get upset about it, ofcourse you could be upset about it between yourself and you, but infront of him, you can't judge him ,or disapprove or tell him anything about it. I actually love how you're both diplomatic about this, enough to come up with such a good and understanding solution. So if those hamsters really mean alot to you, then I think that he couldn't have given you a better chance, and it's a really good idea, so take advantage of it, and don't keep telling him that it's not a good idea, in case he changes his mind and then you don't get to see the hamsters again.
But if you don't care that much about the hamsters anyways, then just let him have them, and you can buy yourself a new pet or something. But this has completely nothing to do with your boyfriend, or him being upset about it. And you should stop asking him if he's okay with it, because you shouldn't care if he's okay with it or not, because ofcourse he's not, you broke up, and now he's alone, and you're with someone, it'll take him time to move on and find someone else, so stop asking him if he's okay, because obviously he's not, but yet he's doing a pretty good job in holding up and actually being very very decent and diplomatic about it to be able to talk to you and reach such a decision with you about the hamsters.
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He had me text her to ask what she thinks of him: So here is what I texted, "I work with someone I think you know, what do you think of him, would you ever go on a date with him?" and she texted back an hour later, "No thanks." I never brought it up to her again. It's been weeks and it's been awkward at work. All he talks about is how great she looked 2 days ago when he saw her again. He has had rejections like this before and has taken it really hard. Poor self-esteem. How do I break it to him that, she's just no that into him, softly? (link)
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I can think of the reasons she might have said no, cause such an action of making YOU text her and ask her is really childish, it's very Junior school behaviour you know. A girl likes a man, and this move is not very manly, he should have told her himself and face to face.
I think you should show him the text, but point out where he went wrong, tell him that if he likes her, he should have gone up to her and talked to her, even tried to be friends with her at first, tried to get to know her, take this step by step, because if you just text someone and tell them a stranger likes you, of course they'd say no, cause she doesn't really know him, but maybe if she does, she'd actually like him. It's not too late for a second chance, but if he wants to attract her, then he has to be more manly about it and not hide in the shadows behind you as a messenger. And yes poor self esteem, cause he should put himself out there, for people to actually see him and want to be with him.
Besides, HE doesn't really know her either, so maybe if she had said yes and they'd gotten together, he wouldn't have liked her very much. Befriending someone is always the first step, so that if you'd ever get involved with this person, you'd at least know anything about them. Why take it hard over a rejection from a person that might have not been right for you in the first place? Things might have not worked out, HE might have not liked her after all. Tell him that.
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ok so i have this friend who i just met about 2 months ago, and ever since ive been obsessed with her. its not like i stalk her because were actally good friends and at least i think she likes me too. the only thing is i really like her too much (not in a lesbian way, i just mean in a friendly way) like i get jelous when other people talk to her and my day doesnt feel complete without seeing her. like if she doesnt come to school one day because shes sick, my day is siginificantly worse. i realize its a good thing to like your friends but i spend way too much time obsessesing over with person and waiting to see them or for them to text me or anything.
what do i do?
pleas help! (link)
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I know exactly how you feel, I've been obsessing over my friend whose a girl, for 4 years now, and I'm still not over her, even though we broke up our friendship in the end, cause of certain reasons, I never got over her, and I always tried to have her back, but she wouldn't. I just love her so much, that even my own family thought that it might being something lesbian, but its not, and i'm the only one who understands that, she's just amazing, everything about her, and its like i want her to myself and no one else. I wrote about 10 stories about her, and I even counted the days I cried over her when we broke up, it was crazy, but it was never lesbian like.
There is nothing wrong to love someone so much, or have a person who makes your day and makes you happy, just enjoy it, stop questioning what's between you, cause what's between you is completely normal, so enjoy it and live as much as you can of it, and take this advice from me, don't ever lose her, don't ever hurt her in anyway or fight with her, just don't lose her, cause losing her would kill you and you'd regret it for the rest of your life.
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okay all my friends say that i should go out with another friend i have you see cause were always getting into fights that dont last more then a day and everyone says we should just get togeather but idk if i like him like that and then we sit togeather and when we fight i tell him to leave but he never leaves and he always tells me he loves me and hes always with me and they say he tries to make me jelous by talking about my cuz that he hasnt seen and my bestfriend now is that a crush or is he just weird like that ??????? (link)
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I think it sounds like more than friends. I think HE likes you more than friends, but the question is, do YOU like HIM more than friends? It doesn't seem to be so. It seems that you just see him as a friend, cause if you saw otherwise, you wouldn't be here questioning this, on the contrary, you would've been ecstatic that he feels the same thing that you feel and you would've opened up to each other about your feelings.
Whether he likes you or not more than friends, is not the problem here, the problem is what YOU feel, cause say that he does like you more than friends, but you don't, well then how is that something good? This is something entirely up to you, depending on the way you feel, don't rush things and don't jump to conclusions, give the relationship between you time and space to develop on its own, for your feelings might develop with it, but don't force feelings, just enjoy it while it lasts, don't keep wondering what he thinks of you, if he really does love you, he'll come around and tell you so, but for now, you are friends, and that's how you feel about it, so don't try to force something and try to find signals and proofs to convince yourself, your friends do not control you or tell you what to do, you control your own emotions.
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i've been told told by my boyfriend and his causin that my friend some lies about me she says she didnt but they keep telling me she did i dont want to put them before her but i cant really trust her since she slept with my ex so what should i do who to believe (link)
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I think you shouldn't even call her your friend ever since she slept with your ex, i don't really know how your still friends, but clearly you shouldn't be, cause the person who can back stab you once and lie to you, can easily do it again.
So first of all, she's not your friend, and you shouldn't know her, and ofcourse yes you shouldn't trust her. And if she really is telling lies about you, then its only cause she's jealous of you or of the life you have, and if she has a chance to steal your new boyfriend, she will do it, so be careful of her, and make your distance.
Don't bother yourself thinking who to trust or not, cause you shouldn't believe any word that comes out of her mouth, so ofcourse you should trust your boyfriend and cousin, why do you even care what she says about you? Let her say whatever she wants, no one will believe her, at least not the ones who know you well and are the closest to you. And since your boyfriend and cousin are insisting that she is talking about you behind your back and is making lies ,then maybe the next time they hear her saying something like that, they should stand up for you and defend you and tell her to stop.
Other than that, just don't bother with her at all, and don't even confront her, cause all she wants is attention, and your giving her that, and as long as you are, she'll keep on hurting you and doing things intentionally to get your attention. So just get her out of your mind and don't bother at all with her, and eventually she'll give up and leave you alone.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me. Best of luck.
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18-female. i've always had feelings for my good friend but never implemented i wanted to go further because i knew it would just make our friendship more complicated. i just don't even know if he's the "good friend" i thought he was, but then when i think about it i have doubts..
we go to different schools. he's best friends with my guy cousin - they go to the same school. recently my grandma passed away (also my cousins grandma) and i know my cousin told the guy that she did and he told my friend she was in a better place blah blah .. but the thing is he never once called or even texted me to see how i was doing or to even say sorry to me about my grandma. to me, that doesn't seem like a good friend. although he talked to my cousin, he couldn't bother also talking to me about it? if his grandma were to pass away the least i would do would text him saying hey sorry to hear about your grandma, always here for you or something like that.
what do you guys think? am i overreacting about this or do you really think he's not being a good friend.. (link)
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No honey, I don't think you're over reacting, I think that he's being a really good friend to your cousin, but not to you. And I might've told you that you are over reacting if it was in normal situations, but for something major like your grandma passing away, which i'm so sorry for by the way, he should have definitely been there if he really was a true friend, but here, i'm not gonna tell you that he's a bad person or not a true friend. He is a good person, and he is a true friend, but not a true friend to you, maybe to other people, but between you and him, you are not best friends and you are not even close. And maybe you thought that both of you were something, like really close and tight, but thats not what he thought about it, maybe in his own mind, he just sees you as a friend, not close enough to be there for you and to care that much and remember. And that doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you or bad about you that would make him not want to get close to you, its just how he feels, and not every friendship is meant to be, and if it is, sometimes you're not meant to get close.
Maybe one day you'd get closer and he'd actually be there for you, but for now, your not, and don't waste your time trying to make something out of nothing, if something is meant to happen it will. You just act normally for now, the way you've always acted, and don't even question him about why he wasn't there for you, and don't expect him to be, and don't get upset or stop talking to him or anything. Just be normal, that's the only thing you can do.
And i'm not even gonna talk about the having feelings for him part, because you are not even close as friends, you are not what you thought you were.
And ofcourse its another case if you want to get closer to him intentionally, you'd have to talk more, hang out more, try to show interest in his stuff, and he'll show interest back, you get my point? Show him that YOU are there and you care,and that you want more, as friends, to be closer friends.
Hope i helped, if you want to talk more or if you need anything else, please be free to contact me. Best of luck :D
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thank you so much lola..thats wat am going to do just ignore her ..she aint worth it..
hey can i ask you another question ?? (link)
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Sure ofcourse, you can ask me as many questions as you want any time, and I'll gladly answer them all as soon as I get to them.
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hey! am sorry if this is too long..i just need some help! ok am a girl and there is this girl that hates me so much. ok this is how it all started. we were in school in algebra and before algebra we have lunch. when we come back from lunch this girl is always late to class. the door of the classroom is always locked. she always comes late and expect somebody to opened the door for her. well me and my friend always sit next to the door but we dont open it for people because they should get to class in time. well when somebody opened the door for her she came in and started saying this "stupid B****** dont open the F***** door . they are so R*******"..she just kept on arguing. we just ignored her. this all happened on november of 2009. now she always stares at me in class,and sometimes when am walking down the hallway she looks at me or when am sitting down and she comes inside the classrrom she stares at me..and i herd her talked about me..i really dont know what is her problem seriously..i dont want to go up to her because i know something will ahppen because she has anger issues and so do i..so can you please tell me a good advice because this girl is getting on my nerves :( (link)
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Well, my main advice would be for you to just continue ignoring her, as long as she doesn't physically or verbally bully you, except for that very first time when she dissed you, then just continue to ignore her, and don't even look her way, and don't show her that you care that she's talking about you, cause she's probably just saying some shit that no one is gonna believe, and why do you care what other people think? i mean your friends know you and know that whatever she's gonna say about you, its not true, and whoever else will think its true, when they know you, they'll find out that your different.
Other than that, maybe you should give a heads up to a counseller or a teacher, just an elder figure in your school who is responsible for student affairs or problems, and you can tell this person about her. They wouldn't really do anything to her cause she doesn't really do anything to you, she just stares at you, it was just this first time when she bad-mouthed you. So you could tell this person just for him to be aware of the situation incase further on she does something, which i'm telling you she won't, cause she has nothing against you. What happened was old news, and she's just the type who holds grudges, but if you completely ignore her and don't even look her way, she'll start seeing that she's so childish at what she does.
And don't go up to her and talk to her about it or about anything, cause yes that will only cause trouble.
I really hope i helped, and if you'd like to follow up with me concerning this problem or if there is anything else, please be free to contact me.Best of luck.
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Hi,
I'm a 23 year old female and I met my (then) best friend in college a few years back. Right off the bat, we became super close friends. We hung out all the time, talked on the phone almost every night, and not to mention saw each other in class almost everyday. After a few months, we started becoming flirty with each other -- staring, tickling, hugging, jokes, etc. I tried not to do it so much because I knew he had a girlfriend but I still couldn't help feeling the way I did. About 6 months into our friendship, he confessed that he liked me and wanted to date me. I resisted at first because I knew he was in a relationship but he insisted that it was over and he wanted to start over with me. I ended up confessing too and agreed to go out with him. We decided to hang out at his place a few nights later and I ended up drinking too much. The next thing I know, we're making out like mad but didn't have sex. The next day, he calls me and tells me that he's back with his girlfriend and that I didn't do anything wrong, but wouldn't explain why he got back with her so quickly after being with me the previous night. I became angry and embarrassed and felt completely heartbroken. After that, our friendship completely changed. He still called me, but I ignored his calls and made excuses not to hang out with him anymore. I became mean with him and tried to pretend like he didn't exist, to try and push him away, even though we still saw each other almost everyday. As time went by, he started ignoring me too and all communication ceased. But a few months ago, we started talking again and little by little, our friendship seemed to come back to life somewhat. We don't call each other often anymore, but we do talk alot more at school and whenever we see each other around town. While this makes me happy (I have missed his friendship horribly), the confusion is returning because he has become flirty again and makes suggestions about us hooking up. He is still with his girlfriend and living with her. She knows nothing about this. I believe that I am in love with him, and I believe that he still likes me, but I do not want to be used or destroy a relationship. I actually like his girlfriend, but my feelings for him are always tempting me. I have never felt this way before and I am tired of it, because it is nothing but a struggle for me. Should I get him out of my life completely? Or just ignore his flirting and try to continue to be friends like before? Being around him makes me happy, but the constant sadness is making me miserable. Please help me.
Brokenhearted (link)
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Hey there,
I know how that feels, and it feels really bad, and the situation really sucks.
At the start of your problem while reading it, i first thought of him that he loves you, but can't be with you cause somehow he feels committed to his girlfriend and to his life with her and its as if its too complicated for him to break up with her for good, for whatever reasons they may have.
And about what happened between you too could be feelings he had for you all along, and when he finally broke up with his girlfriend, he felt that he can finally freely let them out and share them with you, and he did.
But then along the rest of the problem, i thought differently, that he's just playing around, fooling around, having fun, that he doesn't really love you, in the meaning of being with you as a lover. He does love you as a friend, and you get along really well and share alot, but not as a lover, it sounds more like he wanted to experience the feeling of being with you, and he experienced it that day, and then the other day, he was back again with his girlfriend, which makes me feel like he never even broke up with her, but he just told you that, cause that was the only thing that would make you agree. And its not that he didn't enjoy making out with you or having that feeling of being with you and sharing your company as a lover, but its just not the way he feels about you. He does like you so much, but as a friend. And usually in life, the person we most get along with and share everything with is not the person who we end up with in a relationship or choose to be with.
Don't lead him on! You were doing fine ignoring him, why did you go back to talking to him? And a more reason that proves that he's just playing around, is that he's back doing the same thing after what happened, and after how he hurt you, and this time, when you know that he's with his girlfriend. So here is the thing, you either make it clear to him that you do not want to continue with this flirting and things, and that you are just interested in being friends, and that nothing more can happen between you because he has a girlfriend. And because between you and yourself, how can you trust him again after what he did last time. I mean, if he left you once, can't he do it again? ofcourse he can.
Second option is to just limit your friendship and contact with him ,and move on, and just talk to him diplomatically from a distance, and try to ignore him as much as you can like you use to. And i choose that option cause its better for you, because even if you remain just friends with him, there will always be this tension, or this complication, and feelings for him, and that will hurt you and make you struggle, seeing him with someone else and not being able to do anything about it.
You can't love him or be with him, its a fact, and sadly there is nothing that you can do about it, you can't change that, but you can just accept it and you can also find someone else, cause there are so many guys out there who would wish to be with you, and would belong to you, cause he doesn't belong to you, he belongs to her, to his girlfriend, so don't hurt yourself or make yourself miserable, you don't need him or her or whoever, you can have your own relationship and someone who really loves you.
Hope i helped, if you need to talk more or if you need anything else, please be free to contact me. Best of luck.
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today, i was hanging out with my new friend, we get along real well and i was telling her my life story and all the pain and struggles that i went through and my friend starts crying and telling me that i dont deserve any of this, i dont know about that but i am really insecure person and i have a low self esteem i really dont know why she cried because she didnt go through any of this, any clue on why? (link)
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Sometimes there are people who are really sensitive, and they cry just over the slightest thing, like they can cry when they watch a sad or romantic movie, or when they read a touching novel. So here its the same, you told her things that once hurt you, and she was touched by your story and she felt bad for you, so she cried. She was sympathetic.There are alot of people like this, its very common, its nothing wrong that you did or said, she's just like that, its a part of her personality, and if you know her more, you'll see later on more of these incidents.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me.
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So there are two boys that sit behind me in one of my classes, and ive noticed they've become very obsessed with me. They are always trying to get my attention, calling my name every 5 minutes, just making a bunch of annoying remarks. They even found out where i worked and showed up one time. Now they keep bugging me trying to figure out which days and hours i work. I avoided answering because im sick of them bugging me and showing up everywhere. As mean as it sounds, I dont want to have anything to do with them because they are just creepy to me. Im not very good at being honest about how i feel about people. So lately ive been ignoring them(after they yell my name about 4 times) and when they try to talk to me i just turn back around and dont say anything. Ive been doing this for weeks, hoping they'd get the hint that i DONT want to talk to them. But they dont get it! What am i supposed to do without being rude about it? (link)
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I know how you must feel not wanting to tell them to leave you alone cause that might be mean or embarassing to them, but its not when they are invading your privacy and your life. Obviously they have a motive in what they are doing or they are just simply whack! Either ways you don't wanna have anything to do with them, so you shouldn't care how they'll feel when you tell them to leave you alone, cause you have to tell them that, it doesn't have to be in a bad way, or don't fight with them, but in a polite way, tell them that you don't like how they are following you everywhere and how they keep calling your name and bugging you, and tell them that you've tried dropping hints nicely, but they just don't get it.
Because some people can become really obsessive after time, and i'm not telling you this to scare you, but you never know their motives, and their are psychos out there, now i don't know if your in school or college, you just said 'classes', either ways, after you tell them to leave you alone, if this continues and in a worse way, you'll have to tell someone elder, maybe a teacher or whoever is in charge in the place you take classes, or tell your parents or something, or change your place in class, or if you have security where you work, tell them not to let them in or something, but thats only if things get really out of hand, which hopefully they won't, they're probably just wasting time and having fun, and because your too nice and your not complaining or doing anything about it, so you lead them on, so tell them off.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me. Best of luck!
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I have this friend she's a very good friend till know we were hanging out then out. Of nowhere she said that she has problems. Because of that she doesn't get what she wants cause of me and that she hates how I talk to every one I just don't get it what's wronge with her not to be mad i'm just saying she can't go blaming. People for her problems were no longer talking should I be the one to say something first even if I think I had all the right to get mad right I don't know what to do I'm lost (link)
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Hey, first of all, please try to use full stops next time loool, I had trouble reading that. Mmm Well it seems to me that your friend is jealous, maybe not jealous in the bad meaning of the word, but just upset and she feels left out, cause you know more people, or you have a better social life, and that is not your fault, you're probably the outgoing social type of person, and she probably is not so good in socializing.
No one should be mad here, she has probably been upset about it for a long time now, and when she finally opened up to tell you about it ,she expressed it in this way,so sudden and out of the blue, but she didn't mean to hurt you i'm sure. I think that you should try to involve her more with the people you know, try to introduce her to the people you meet, make her be friends with your friends and the people you know, so she would feel like she's a part of this, not left on the sidelines and totally ignored while you talk to everyone else.
You didn't do anything wrong and you don't have bad intentions i know, but its just that sometimes one person's personality shadows over another person, so taking the spotlight and being the center of attention, unconsciously and then she'd be left alone, no one caring about her or directing any interest in her, and that's exactly how she feels, cause i've been there and done that, and it doesn't feel good. And the problem is that she's not the type to start a conversation or socialize easily, she needs someone to talk to her first, ask her something, introduce her, and that's where you come in. Give her a bit of your spotlight, share it with her, but this is nothing to fight about at all.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me :D Best of luck!
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What can I say to my friend who had a miscarriage last week? It's just now hitting her and I dont know what to do. She has one child already but wants another one. I have 2, and feel bad bringing my baby around her because I dont want to rub it in that mine was ok. (link)
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If she's really your friend, she would never feel jealous of you or envy you or wish that she had a baby too like yours, and if you usually do bring your baby around, then its cool, its not like your doing something intentionally unusual that could make her think that your rubbing it in her face ,you know.
Other than that, its a really tough situation and a very hard time for her, so all you can do is be there and tell her how there is still a chance for her to have another one, and a third one, and that everything is gonna be okay, and that a couple of years from now, you'll be together and you'll bring your kids to each others' houses, and you'll think back at all this ,and you'll see how things changed,and how there is always hope and a chance to make things different,and yes we fall down and go through horrible things, but we have to move on, and we should always try, and who knows, maybe somehow god (if you believe in him, i'm saying this with all do respect) did this for a reason, maybe he knows better, i mean, maybe the baby could have come but turned out to have problems that would affect him and would hurt his mother all throughout her life instead of hurting just once for losing him, and i know its probably not called 'once' cause i'm sure she's gonna remember him all her life, but she just has to believe that somehow this might have been for the best, and no one knows the future, or what might have happened or was yet to come. So the only thing you can do, is to be there for her, nothing else is gonna make the pain go away,and make her hopeful and make her see the bright side, and there is always another chance.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me.Best of luck!
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Umm... I'm a really shy person and I was wondering if anybody can help me become more talkative and less shy. Maybe even some reasons why I'm quiet. Well thanks to those that can help.
With love,
~!MysteriousGirl!~ (link)
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Dear MysteriousGirl,
This is not a problem at all. I was once like that and now i can talk to nearly anyone i've just met and i talk so friendly, and its totally cool, i don't care.
It just simply comes after time, little by little and it helps more when you deal with people who are more of your type, cause that encourages you to fit in easily and be comfortable there.
'Shy' is not a medical condition, and so 'shy' does not have a drug to cure it, as well as 'shy' is not a problem, so 'shy' does not have or require advice or answers. 'Shy' is a character in someone's personality, and sometimes somehow, it is a character in every single person's personality, but it differs on how each one would deal with it, overcome it, or be defeated by it. Just let go, there is nothing to be shy about, and i know that its something you can't help it, its just there, so that's why i'm telling you that by time, you'll come around. But the thing is, what are you shy about? who are you shy around? why? all those people you are shy infront of are just human beings like you and are shy too,but they deal with it, they won't bite you, they won't make fun of you, its cool, if you talk to them, they could actually once become your bestest friends, and you'll find that they are very kind and nice and decent.
Try to join in on conversations, give your opinion, even if YOU think it sounds lame or off point, it could drag another conversation, and don't think that people would like not hear you or ignore you, no ,they are not monsters, they would listen, and appreciate your contribution and would make you join in more with them, and would like you more, and say, oh this girl has a personality of her own and she speaks up her mind and stuff.
So basically what i'm saying is that, your quiet because your scared that if you speak up, people would think that what your saying is lame or would mock you or any thing of the sort, but they won't, they won't do that, so like, speak up your mind and share your opinions and don't worry, its totally cool.
Last thing, is that its not real bad for a person to be quiet, i'm a quiet person, and its sometimes actually better than being a talkative person, people sometimes get really annoyed from those who are very talkative. So your on the safe side, hehe :):):):)
If you need any other help or advice, please be free to contact me.
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ok my best friend and i hated eachother because of something happened since we loved eachother started about 2-3 months ago idk seemed like forever. today we talked for hours tomarrow theres a party he said hope to see you there before he left and also befor i asked if he was going he said HELL YEA will you. and us kinda hateing eachother started because of a party and tomarrow is the first party were both going to since. their like totally different kinds different everything. like the last party was a airsoft-running through the woods together...then goes inside and a certain game messed it all up. now its a swimming party at a friends grandmas house. soooo will it be different? what could i do if it happenes again which its a 50/50 chance but i told him ill go. and the 2 party hosts people are cousins one guy a total player and the girl my friend has never held hands with a guy but is into all the soo popular peoples which me and them arent to good together like oil and water, dont mix. but weve become close again within only the last 2 days. i dono what will happen. and what could i do if we like...get mad at eachother again?! 13/f hes 13/m party peoples are over 14/f and over 14/m (link)
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Hey whats up,
You fighting,getting mad at each other, hating each other at a certain party, then making up again, then you thinking that since your going to a party again, then you will fight again, I'm sorry, but thats just really silly.
I know exactly how you feel about this, because i've been there practically in the same situation, and after it, I was like, how stupid of me to even think that. Seriously, you are not gonna get mad at each other because there is no reason for that,and these are totally different parties and at a totaly different time.
I mean.. are you like gonna freak out everytime you go to a party with him now, afraid that the past is gonna repeat itself?
Listen, whats done is done, and this was like a while ago, and you both coped with it and learned to get along, so just get over this issue, put it behind your back, and go to this party tomorrow, and talk to him and have fun together and maybe even go to the pool together and just enjoy your time, cause thats what parties are about, to relax and have a good time, not to freak out about going and meeting your own best friend.
Its cool, ight? and nothing is gonna go wrong, your just worried and you care about him too much, and your afraid that you could lose each other again, but its in your hand to lose him or gain him, so seriously just show him from the start that your there to have fun and enjoy your time, and you could still act careful so as not to cause a fight or anything, but don't worry, everything will okay.
Now consider what i said, and if you need any further advice, please be free to contact me. I hope all goes well. Goodluck:)
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16/f
Okay, so I have this friend that I work with. I hung out with him once and it was fun and all, but then he started asking me to hang out with him more. Last night, I THINK he implied that he's going to ask me out soon [as long as I understood what he said right] and I really don't want him to.
My dad is super overprotective and I don't want a boyfriend at all until I go to college so I don't have to deal with my dad. I don't want my friend to feel bad if I say no, and I don't want him to ask me out at all. I don't know how to avoid it. Any ideas?
Thanks in advance. (link)
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Hey whats up,
I totally understand what your going through, and I do in fact have an idea of my own which I always used to escape the humiliation of people asking me out and I in turn, give them no as an answer. So thats what you should do, next time you see him, and your like hanging out together, start telling him about how your dad is always giving you a hard time, and how he's like overprotective and strict and stuff, and how you yourself made plans to avoid the whole dating issue and getting involved in relationships till you go to college, and when you tell him that, try to show him that its more of your point of view and more of what you want and not your dad. YOu get it? Umm.. he will be kind of disappointed at first, but then you could still show ( not tell) him what good friends you could make, and still DO hang out with him and have a good time and stuff, and after a while, he'll learn to cope with it, and he'll just let go off the whole idea of asking you out. Everything definitely takes time, so just do what i said, and then let things fall into place on their own. And don't keep thinking about the whole issue ,so you wouldn't started developing a crush on him or realizing that you love him or any of such, just act normal and cool, and leave things to be worked out as they should be.
If you need any further advice, please be free to contact me, and i hope all goes well for now. Goodluck:):)
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i've known my best friend Serina, known as Rina, since kindergarden, but became friends in 3rd grade. We've grown up and we were almost exactly the same personality wise and how we acted or what we said. Lately, it seems like she's moved on or something. She's made new friends, not that I care, i'm glad she has, but she never tells me anything any more. She tells it to her friend Ian, Billy, and maybe a couple other people. Ian was a guy I became friends with a while ago and I introduced her to him and they're good friends now. She always is sad and she always lies. Simple things sometimes too. I made friends this year by myself and i'm kind of quiet, but I can be talkative too, but it's hard sometimes to make friends. Anyways, she's become friends with the friends I made and its almost like shes taking them away from me. She always shuns me from her life. I feel so left out. She seems to like her other friend Billy and Ian more than me and I try so hard to be there for her. It's been hard talking to her when shes sad. She'll sometimes, well most of the time, just stop talking and put her hair over her face and ignore people and she did that to me countless times and I froze and never knew what to say. Its only like that for me because she never tells me anyhing and I feel uncomfortable asking her whats wrong becasue she never tells me or would walk away. I don't feel like her friend. I feel as though we're having a casual relationship as friends and i've even told her that she never tells me anything because she once told me something and I was able to walk up to her and ask whats wrong and help her, but then she stopped. Sorry this is so long, i'm just trying to get some backround information on here. I can't really go and ask anyone about this because their advice is things i've already done. It'd make my year if someone could help me.
(sorry if there were any typos, i'm sure there were a few) (link)
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Hey whats up,
YOu know, reading your problem now was just exactly like reading the one i faced with my best friend last year. I was exactly like you and i knew this best friend of mine since a long time ago, and we used to do everything together, till last year, when she made friends with other people and started completely ditching me and for no known reason at all. I used to do what you do, and i used to go up to her and try to talk to her and stuff, but once she really did answer and she would be like 'hey there is nothing wrong, we are still friends and i'm still here for you, but i just kind of moved on by meeting new people and getting close to others and making new friends and stuff' and then in the next second, she was practically implying that i should make new friends of my own and move my ass on too.
You see, i may not be the right person to give you advice on this issue since i've recently stopped believing in friendship, but i'm experienced enough to tell you that people sometimes get the urge after so many years to get to know more people and make new friends, and when they do that, they don't really mean to turn their backs on their old friends ,but by time, thats the way it ends.
And i've learnt that by the way she acts with you, its not about ignoring you, its just about being ashamed to face you, so you wouldn't tell her that she threw you away or treated you like shit, because she does feel guilty about this all, but she's probably not the type of person to come clean and admit that she was wrong and apologize about it,cause she's already made friends and gone too far.
So here is my suggestion, keep going after her and show her that you'll always be there for her and ask about her everyday, and call her on the phone, and just be there for her, but don't open the subject with her about her moving on and ignoring you, just keep things cool and act like your still good friends. And why don't you also try to get even closer to Ian, since you were already friends with him and get to know billy too, and just try to fit there between her new group of friends.
Other than that, move on with your own life, and get to know new people, away from the circle of her friends and away from the circle of friends she's stealing from you. I know how hard it is to know new people and make friends from scratch, but its also partially fun and as a new experience. So go out there and get to know people.
Thats it, thats all i have to say,but if you need any further help or advice, please be free to contact me. I hope it all goes well, goodluck:)
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what do u do when your friends tell you that you have changed alot ever since u got with your boyfriend??
the other day my sister told me that i've been alot more bitchier ever since i got with my boyfriend kyle which was almost a month ago.
and then my best friend just told me that everyone has noticed it.
she said that i act like im better than everyone and im alot more bitchier and everything.
i just dont know what i am supose to do about that. should i break up with my boyfriend or just ignore everyone else?? (link)
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Hey whats up? How are you? I know exactly what your going through, cause i have been there in the same situation. First of all, yes you do change when someone new and special enters your life, but that shouldn't be explained by saying that you act like a bitch. On the contrary, you change your actions and everything about you because of all the excitement and love that overcomes you, and you do try to change your self and your appearance and everything just to impress the opposite person, meaning, that new special person who has become a part of your life.
So here, in your situation, some of those who claim that you act bitchier could be jealous or could be just warning you. I am sure they mean nothing about it, and i am sure that you mean nothing about the change in your actions. Thats why, you should most definitely not break up with your boyfriend, because that would be too unfair to him, and very immature of you. NO offense ofcourse. So , in my opinion, you should go and tell them that you don't mean anything by the change that has overcome you, and that you are just too excited and in love and happy because of that new experience of having an amazing boyfriend, and tell them that you weren't paying attention and you haven't noticed, but your gonna make an effort to try and be yourself again. And you should do that, you shouldn't just give up and break up with him. ON the contrary, you should know what your doing wrong and undo it, and make it to the better. Okay? I hope i reached to you and helped you. Think of what i said, and if you need any other help or advice, please be free to contact me. Take care.
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why do people say be yourself? but what if they dont like how you act? its just hard to be yourself in public, because some people doesnt accept you who you are. i dont get life =[
(link)
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Hey,whats up?
A person should always be himself, and shouldn't change who he is, because if he does, he would just be faking and pretending. And there are some people, who find that when they change themselves in public and when meeting new people,it would help to impress and make a good impression to the opposite person. But actually, being yourself is the best option, the best and only option.
And here, it looks to me that your one of these people, and your afraid that people wouldn't like you for who you are, but thats totally wrong. Because being yourself makes you unique and special , and who doesn't like you for who you are, then they are just idiotic dumbos and they are the ones who don't get life. Besides, only the closest people to you are the ones who always accept you the way you are, no matter what.
So basically, there is nothing much to get about life. Just act natural and cool, and in my opinion, i see that all you need is a boost of confidence and believing in yourself, because you care too much of what people think of you. And thats not something bad, infact, thats something alot of people are characterized with, but try to have more self esteem and confidence. Goodluck.
If you need any other help, please be free to send a private message or an email. Have a nice day.
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Are we best friends or not? We have known each other since I was 2 and she was 3. We see each other almost every week, and have play dates and go on trips together. We get along very well but we randomly fight. Now she is in a higher grade and in a different school. That means we don't get to see eachother very much any more. And that stinks! Her b-day is next week and we are going ice-skating. So are we still bff (Best Friends Forever)?????????????? (link)
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Hey, I read your problem and i think that your wrong to even wonder about such a thing. I mean, for crying out loud, ofcourse your still best freinds.
I have been put in such a situation before when i had this gorgeous best freind and we used to fool around and do everything together until one day life seperated between us cause he went to a different school. But we still talk on the phone, chat, send our pictures to each other, go out and hang around. You could do that too every now and then. And the best thing is that at the end of the day ,when she gets sick of her new school and new freinds and new life, then you'll find her going back to YOU cause your someone who she knew for so long ,loved ,and cared about. Don't let the fact that your in different schools put you down, because that has nothing to do with seperating you from one another. Because if a true freindship exists, then it would last forever. And i am sure, that she thinks about you most of the time and wonders if she's still YOUR best freind just like your wondering. So tell you what, put the whole idea of best freinds aside now, and just think of how to make her birthday special, and what you could do to make her happy ,and what gift would you get her. And you know something, that even though she's in a new school with new people and stuff ,but i am sure that she would never be able to find a truly amazing best freind who cares for her and loves her as much as you do. So stop worrying and thinking about this, and just have fun while you can.
If there is any other advice, troubles, worries or concerns, then please be free to contact me with a private message or email me, and i would be glad to give you my prompt reply.Take care.
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