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hey! am sorry if this is too long..i just need some help! ok am a girl and there is this girl that hates me so much. ok this is how it all started. we were in school in algebra and before algebra we have lunch. when we come back from lunch this girl is always late to class. the door of the classroom is always locked. she always comes late and expect somebody to opened the door for her. well me and my friend always sit next to the door but we dont open it for people because they should get to class in time. well when somebody opened the door for her she came in and started saying this "stupid B****** dont open the F***** door . they are so R*******"..she just kept on arguing. we just ignored her. this all happened on november of 2009. now she always stares at me in class,and sometimes when am walking down the hallway she looks at me or when am sitting down and she comes inside the classrrom she stares at me..and i herd her talked about me..i really dont know what is her problem seriously..i dont want to go up to her because i know something will ahppen because she has anger issues and so do i..so can you please tell me a good advice because this girl is getting on my nerves :(
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Wow. I think I have a bit of a different opinion on this than everyone else.
Honestly, I thought it was just common courtesy to let people into a locked room! If you looked at her, then left her standing in the hall, that would be pretty nasty in my books. If I were her, that would be really embarrassing! I don't care if she's always late, it's 30 seconds out of your day and it's just a polite thing to do. Then again, I'm Canadian, and we're known for being overly polite :P
What you did was pretty rude, and I think you should apologize to her. Maybe you don't think you're in the wrong, but she clearly does. If you just go up to her and say something like "Hey, I know you don't exactly like me, and I think it's because of that time I didn't let you in. Just wanted you to know that I was in a bad mood that day and I just really didn't want to get up to let you in because you were late. It was really rude of me, and I'm sorry." she won't have anything to hate you for. It shows that you've got the stones to admit you were wrong, and that you aren't a horrible person.
I don't think she has anger issues. I think you're just refusing to see things from her point of view. Personally, if someone did that to me, I'd have a bit of a thing against them too!
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Well, my main advice would be for you to just continue ignoring her, as long as she doesn't physically or verbally bully you, except for that very first time when she dissed you, then just continue to ignore her, and don't even look her way, and don't show her that you care that she's talking about you, cause she's probably just saying some shit that no one is gonna believe, and why do you care what other people think? i mean your friends know you and know that whatever she's gonna say about you, its not true, and whoever else will think its true, when they know you, they'll find out that your different.
Other than that, maybe you should give a heads up to a counseller or a teacher, just an elder figure in your school who is responsible for student affairs or problems, and you can tell this person about her. They wouldn't really do anything to her cause she doesn't really do anything to you, she just stares at you, it was just this first time when she bad-mouthed you. So you could tell this person just for him to be aware of the situation incase further on she does something, which i'm telling you she won't, cause she has nothing against you. What happened was old news, and she's just the type who holds grudges, but if you completely ignore her and don't even look her way, she'll start seeing that she's so childish at what she does.
And don't go up to her and talk to her about it or about anything, cause yes that will only cause trouble.
I really hope i helped, and if you'd like to follow up with me concerning this problem or if there is anything else, please be free to contact me.Best of luck.
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Firstly you have to know that what she is doing now is not your fault at all. It is her problem for never going into class on time, and she definitely can not expect you to get up when YOU are working just to open the door for HER.
The main this is just ignore her. If she's going to talk about you, be happy that you're being talked about. If she has nothing better to do than bitch about the "girl in algebra", she is definitely not worth listening to. Chances are, the people she's talking to don't really want to listen to her ranting.
She only wants attention. She wants you to react. You can stop that by just reacting once. This girl obviously has anger issues, but confronting her about her actions when there are Two of you will work. Stop it once and for all. tell her why you don't like it, tell her your side of the story.
Also, if she stares at you again, it would indirecty confront her if you just Smile :)
I hope I helped!
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Oh goodness. My friend is having the exact same problem with some girls at our school right now. She's ignoring them and they are starting to leave her alone, but there are still incidents every once in a while.
There are four main ways you can handle this. None of them are perfect, but they all have the potential to solve this problem. Your choices are:
a) talk to her.
b) write her a letter, then talk to her.
b) ignore her and hope she leaves you alone.
c) get a teacher or other adult involved.
You should absolutely try either option A or option B before anything else. Here is option A: talk to her (I know you said you can't, but hear me out anyway...then you can go to option b if this doesn't sound right). Ideally, you should approach her somewhere public like a classroom with students in it, with your friends close enough to watch what is going on without being obvious. Do NOT approach her with friends to back you up. I know that sounds scary, but here is my reasoning: coming with backup makes it look like you want a fight or that you are scared of her. It will also put more pressure on her to act tough since she has a bigger audience.
Acting as calm and polite as possible, tell her that you have nothing against her and that you would like to know why she doesn't like you. Try to settle whatever it is that's bothering her and apologize to her if she wants an apology (even if you don't think you need to). If she is holding a grudge, an apology may be the key to making her leave you alone, so long as it sounds like you mean it. It is very important that you stay calm and polite while you talk to her. This is what makes the difference between solving your differences and ending up in a fistfight.
Whatever you do, do NOT threaten her. She can use that to get you in a lot of trouble with the school, no matter what she did to you to deserve the threat. So if you get mad, just walk away before you can do more damage.
If your anger problems are really so serious that you don't think you can talk without fighting, option B is your best bet. Write her a letter that says all the things I just told you to say in person. Keep the letter polite and respectful! If it's a rude or nasty letter then it will only make things worse, and give her evidence to use against you.
Be sure to give it to her in person. If you have a friend give it to her, she will think you are scared of her and wont take your letter seriously. Instead, approach her, say something short like, "I know you don't like me, but I don't want you to be angry anymore. So I wrote you this letter to apologize. I'd say it all in person, but I don't want us to get mad at each other and I think that will happen if we try to talk right now." If she tries to tease you about being scared to fight or something, just shake your head and smile, or tell her to "Please read the letter." Then hand her the letter and walk away.
Hopefully the letter will calm her down a bit, and then you can talk to her again. This time you can ask her what she thought of the letter and ask if the two of you are square. Yet again, be calm and polite, and don't bring a bunch of friends.
Of course, both of these suggestions may fail, which brings us to option C: ignore her. It seems like this is what you've been doing for ages, so it probably wont do anything. Usually bullies get bored if you don't give them a reaction, but if she has a grudge for the door thing then it's a whole different situation. Still, ignoring her is an option so long as she doesn't threaten you, hurt you, or spread awful rumors.
If she does any of those things, it's time to move on to option D: get an adult involved. I know this is the last thing anyone wants to do, and it will just make this girl even angrier. But if she threatens you, hurts you, or starts to ruin your school life by spreading awful rumors, the situation is out of your control. Basically, if you ever feel afraid to go to school, it's time to get an adult's help. You need to talk to the school counselor or a teacher you trust when that happens. Explain the whole situation including the door incident and what she has done to make you ask a teacher for help. That adult will probably want to set up a meeting for you two to resolve your differences, which is why you should try it without an adult first. :P It also helps your case if you can say, "I tried talking to her and being nice, I even apologized, but she's still messing with me!" It shows that you have made an effort to solve this on your own and be the bigger person.
I hope one of these options is the solution to your problem, and I wish you the best of luck dealing with this girl. It's never fun to have people treat you like dirt, especially when they have stupid reasons for doing so. If you have another question about what I've written or need new advice because of a change in the situation, feel free to send me another question. :)
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Ignore her, Continue to Ignore her. Act like it doesn't even bother you. I know it may be hard to just pretend she isn't even there..but trust me in the long run she will get bored and move on. She stares at you because she has a problem with you, She WANTS a reaction and she is expecting you to get angry with her dirty looks.
The next time she decides to give you the angry eyes, Just look away. Don't even acknowledge the fact that she is in the room. If she approaches you, Then you let a teacher know about it and you let them handle the situation.
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wow. people can be so immature. you're totally right though, everyone should get to class on time.. its not your fault she was late, so her problem with you is basically just because she just cannot admit that she was wrong. just because you sit by the door doesnt mean that you are the one who has to open it. this girl is outta control.
my advice would be to ignore her and be the bigger person. all she wants you to do is feed into her anger so she can get a rise out of you. trust me, she WANTS this to bother you, but if you dont let her get to you.. she loses once again and you come out on top. dont stoop to her level or confront her or any of that. let her stare at you. let her talk about you. people will just get tired of hearing about it and she'll get a bad repuatation.. if she doesnt already have one.
just be yourself, and thats all anyone can ask for. if you let it bother you, she wins and this is obviously a game for her.. dont play along. im telling you, just smiling and not letting her glares or crap talking get to you will kill her more than anything. but if things get really bad, and she either gets physical or is harassing you, tell an adult like a school counselor or your guardians.. because bullying is NOT okay, on any terms, and thats when action should be taken.
good luck ! if you need anything else, you know how to reach me :] hope i helped, xxo.
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