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Hi my name is Angel, that's my real name. I'm a young adult now, I've had this advice column for years, but I made another one under the name anq3l_xo when I thought I couldn't access this one. A little bit about myself. I am a student, both in college and high school. I work as a nanny part time. I want to be a lawyer when I "grow up." I believe I've done a lot of growing up in my short life. I have conquered an obsession over drugs and alcohol in the last year and a half. I'm sober now and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I'm happy now. I'm in an absolutely blessed relationship with someone that I truly care about and love with all of my heart. I have been through things that you kids have nightmares about. I have seen, heard, and witnessed a lot of things that would make full grown men cry. I believe that I am innocent now, because I don't live that old lifestyle anymore. I have a lot of experience in a lot of things, and I've always been good at shedding light on dark situations. I come from a broken family, so I have step, half whatever siblings, and I just recently reunited with my real mother after she abandoned me 10 years ago. I have amazing friends today, but it wasn't always like that. I have a wonderful boyfriend and a great relationship with him, but let me tell you, it wasn't always like that. My sister is a drug addict/ alcoholic of the worst type. She's my best friend in the entire world, and I hope this 14 year old girl doesn't have to go through what I went through. I've come to understand that I can't help her, but I can help others through advice and by being of service to people around me. I'm always here to help, leave one in my inbox on this column or my other one, or my email which is listed, and I WILL get back to you. I know what it's like to feel like nobody cares, well I care about everybody. God bless. ~Love Angel

advice

What do you do when you lost something you cherished so much? And you know you'll never get it back again? And it can't be replaced? How do you get over losing something that important?

well depends on what it is... you can't get over losing your virginity, but if you lost your marbles, don't let it get you down, there are people who can help you out there.

Real talk though, it's sad to lose something important. Just keep your head up, remember how great it was, but it really depends on what it is.

Ok heres the deal..im 14 and in the 9 grade and i feel like i have no friends..i mean yea i talk to people at school but idk like at lunch i sit with these ppl that my "friend" sits w. and i dont even sit by her i sit at the end of the table w. these boys and i dont even tlk to them i just sit there and eat my lunch. Then there comes the weekends and i have nothing to do and i usually stay home w. my mom and dad and i come home every day after school its really is pathetic..any idea to help me?

Be more talkative, let yourself be talked to. In class, don't hesitate to lean over and talk to the guy next to you, anything to bring up small talk. At lunch, tell a joke, pretend to flirt with someone you're totally not interested in. Have fun and people will want to have fun with you, be loud, laugh a lot. Trust me, the more fun it looks like you're having, the happier you are, the more attention you'll get. Hope I helped. -Angel

okay heres the story. my best friend cut really bad at the end of 7th grade(were in 8th now) and over that summer. the school, both friends and the administration, was aware but she never really got any kind of help. seh always carved peoples names who had hurt her or someone who was really important to her. okay this has to coem out to. shes bi so these people are girls. one was a best friend who stopped being friends with her another was a girlfriend and one is an x girlfriend. okay sorry that was kind of irrelevent. but anyway she got a lot better after this girl broke her heart. (i know you would think she would get worse) anyway she only cut maybe three times the whole school year. i stopped really worrying about it. but then in the past week she did it really bad. only me and this other girl who cuts too knows about it. before i always could see how unhappy my best friend was but this time i couldnt really understand. nothing really drastic happened and she seemed to be doing a lot better in recent months. okay heres my dilema. she siad not to tell anyone and if i did she would know it was me and not talk to me again or at least be extremely pissed. and i know shes not lying no matter how much i mean to her. now i want to get her help but i dont know how. i dont know if she can be helped with the additude she has now.
so: do i speak up and if so who should i tell?
what would be the best help to get her?
please give me any ideas. im open to anything. and dont waste youre time if youre going to be an ignorant a** like some people on this thing.

You do need to tell someone, it's better for her. She seems to have some type of depression, which isn't uncommon for people your age. When you're depressed, there are times when you just feel horrible, even if nothing's wrong. These thoughts may be due to an inbalance of a certain hormone in the brain. If it's bad enough, you're friend may even be suicidal. So if you want your friend to end up in an "accident," then keep her secret, otherwise, get help. I would reccommend a counselor, a teacher, a nurse, parent, older friend, someone she can look upto. Hope I helped, and good luck. -Angel

There's this friend and she's really annoying because she's always copying me and everything I do. I get something like a shirt and then she goes and gets it and then I say something like a word that I say often and then she starts saying it. It's annoying because that's my word and she always is copying me. I try to tell her in a nice way but she's really ticking me off what do I do. How do I say it to her. Thanks Dr. Angel and you sound cool just ot let ya know.

Hey thanks for the compliment, and no problem for the advice, always here to help. I would say, let your friend know politely, but it's really not that big of a deal that she copies you, if someone copied me like that, [and sometimes it happens] I'm usually flattered. Try to ignore it, think of it as more of a compliment, and if it still really bothers you, then spend less time with the friend, or saying and doing certain things around your friend, or just talk to her, sorry if this doesn't help, but good luck anyways. -Angel

((im the one who has the friend who's mom wont let her hang out w/ me))

i did formally apologize, but she wont accept it. we're only 14 and we cant exactly sneak out easily, and i hadnt been that mean beofre either. we've tried being rebellious, but it isnt working. everyones tried talking to her mom but she wont listen.

Well if nothing will stop you, then don't let anything stop you. If you were trying as hard as you say you are, her mom would give in, if not by now, then soon. But like I said before, it really all depends on how mean you were in the past, give it some time, keep your friendship on the low, and try again. I've been through the same thing before, it's really hard, but entirely possible. Good luck.

ok, one of my best friend's mom has decided not to let her hang out with me anymore. it's about something that happend a long time ago that she just learned about. it's not that i'm a bad kid or anything, i just used to be really mean, but i've changed alot since then. my friend says she wants us to be able to hang out still but her mom wont change her mind. her mom is also getting moms of other kids in my group of friends to not let their kids hang out with me. my whole world is falling down on me because of this parent and she wont listen to anyone about thins. i dont know what to do.

That's really hard, well depending on how mean you used to be, maybe a formal apology to your friend's mom may be in order. Don't let her win, if you're not allowed to hang out with them, be rebellious, do it anyways, your friends will take part in that as well, if they don't and they don't want to hang out with you, then they're not worth it anways. It all really depends on what you did, but apologizing would definitely be a nice start. Hope I helped, keep me posted -Angel

Yeah...so my friend is staying at my house for a week because her parents are out of town. But my house is so....BORING! And the TV is broken, so that pretty much stinks. =( Any ideas what we can do??? ITS SOOOO BORING!!!! lol

13/f (both of us)

fun art projects, make up dances for songs, prank phone calls, bake cookies, play pranks on your family, plant flowers. There's plenty of things you guys could do IM me for more ideas sillyangel869 hope I helped. -Angel

ok im having my sweet 16 in a couple of months. I made my guest list and came up with about 40 - 44 girls and only about 33 guys. I want to kind of make it a ratio but i dont want to invite just anyone so its even! my one friend invited a bunch of people to her party and some threw the invites on the floor. i dont want to be dissed..but at the same time i kind of want it even. SHould i leave my list as it is..invite more guys...any experiecnes where guys to girls wasnt even but the party was still good?

well, most guys wont go alone, so when you make the invitations, have it say that they are allowed to bring a friend, most likely, it will be another guy, or their girlfriend. you dont have to just invite anyone, just tell your guy friends that they can bring a friend if they're not on the list. hope i helped -angel

Okay...I'm 18, and I have these two certain good friends that I've been friends with for a couple of years. I've been feeling left out lately, because they're going to the same college, and I'm not, and they always talk about it in front of me. We also have this thing where we wait for each other after soccer practice, and lately they've just left without me, talking and laughing all the way. I take this as a sign that they just forget me, and it makes me mad. One of the girls I was good friends with until the other one came along, and now they're best friends. And I'm left out. I keep giving them HUGE hints that they're leaving me out, but they're either too clueless to know, or just don't care. What should I say to them/do??

Straight up tell them that you feel like you're drifting apart from them, if they care and they're good friends, they'll try to do something about it, which may or may not work. If you're feeling left out, maybe you could try to include yourself more, go with them to one of their school functions or something. Call them and invite them places, if they blow you off, find new friends, focus on soccer and school. Life goes on. Hope I helped, -Angel

What do YOU do when your sad

I don't know if I can really answer that question. Not because I don't get sad, my whole life I have pretty much been sad. I just ignore it and try to move on. If you're asking me what I do because I seem happy and you'd like to be the same, don't take that as advice. I don't meet up to the standards of happiness. In order for you to be happy, you need to find out why you're sad and try to fix it. Once you can get past that, you have overcome one of the biggest obstacles of life, and I applaud anyone who can do that. I'm still trying to DO something about being sad, but I hope that I answered your question. -Angel

O.K. This is sad and I have no idea what to do. My best friend, Haley, wants to kill herself. She's never met her dad and her 200 pound 7 year old brother gets all the attention and her mom's a total slut. She gets books about death and she's writing letters to the devil and God. I don't know what to do about her. She's threatened me that she will kill herself and it scares me that she will. I don't know what to say or think about this. We met last year but got really close. She's two years older than me and I could really use advice on what to tell her. I need help, or my friend does. Please don't be sarcastic about this because I'm scared and you will only make it worse by replying rusely. Anyone who answers nicely, I'll love you forever.
~~~Kayla~~~

It's really hard to deal with this type of situation. It looks like your friend is crying for attention, and she feels that the only way she can get attention is if she's dead, which is not true. Luckily she has this best friend [you] that cares enough about her to do something about it. I think you need to tell someone like a school counselor, or maybe your parents, anyone that can help her. It sounds like an awful thing to do, but Hayley will thank you for it. You can do your best to help her by telling her stuff like, "killing yourself isn't worth it, that's like giving up the game of life, I know you're going through a hard situation, but if you don't give up on it, it will ultimately, make you stronger." Maybe not those exact words, but that's something that may change some of the ways she thinks, tell her that if she killed herself, you and all of her other friends would never be the same again, you'd be miserable. Tell her that it wouldn't make her family situation any better, they would be miserable as well. If you can't get through to your friend, get a higher authority, you have to, because if you don't, it could cost Hayley her life. Hope I helped, Best of luck, I'm always here if you need anything. Please keep me posted, and keep your head up. Good Luck! -Angel

Dear advice giver people,
I have this friend who has just gotten out of a relationship like 4 or 5 months ago. She broke up with the guy so that's all good. Ok, so then I liked this dude Billy right? Ok, well she decides that he's a sweetheart & goes for him. Well, that doesnt bother me because I have a boyfriend & I stopped liking Billy like forever ago. Me & Billy are still like close friends though & he was telling me how he was going to ask Jessica out & all. So being the girlfriend I am, I told Jess EVERYTHING he said. Now she will NOT stop talking about him. I'm serious. We could be watching TV & she's like, I miss Billy. Ok, well, then I mention my boyfriend like maybe 3 times that whole day. Ok, then she was talking to one of my other friends and she like, "She talks about *Joe WAY too much." Ok, Im sittin there like WHAT THE HELL you kno. So I dont know WHAT to do.
Sorry it's forever long!!

Dear Advice Asker Person,
Tell your friend that she's getting on your nerves, friends are allowed to do that, they can just open up and tell eachother stuff. If she's bothering you, tell her that. She may be offended, but she will soon get over it. I really wouldn't stress over it. All you really gotta do is talk to your friend and fix things so you're both happy. It may sound hard, but you'll feel better once you do it, don't stress on it at all though. Hope I helped. -Angel

I Have this friend who is always putting themselves down and somethimes i dont know what to say becuase they arent the most attractive person and i dont want to seem fake about it. Whenever they tell me that there ugly or whatnot...im always like dont put yourself down like that your not ugly. Every time i talk to this person they always tell me how ugly they are! PLEASE HELP ME IN WHAT TO SAY TO THEM!!

Tell her good things about herself until it makes her sick, but don't worship her if you don't want to. If she's being negative about herself, just say something positive about her, or just change the subject. Try talking to her about how you don't like her negativity. Be a friend to her, don't lie, just tell her her good points, and don't bring up the bad ones. I hope I helped. Good Luck! -Angel

im 12 i live in nevada letz say, that I have 4 really great best friends and at a period in time each of feel like a third wheel. Now on this moment different. one of the girls felt like we dont pay enuff attention to her, and now since we cleared time to hang out more it seems like she isn't with us. WHAT DO I DO! lolz iz a weird thingie reply bk plz teheheheheh k bye thnxX so MuCH xOxOx ~!~vANESSaH~!

Vanessah,
Try talking to your friend about how you try to include her, and she's just never there. She should understand, maybe she just needs her space. You should really talk to her about it. That's really the best I can give you except maybe try calling her more and maybe see why she can't/doesn't want to hang out when you try to include her. I don't know if this helps, but good luck. Keep me posted. -Angel

i know its stupid but all my friends and other guys in my grade keep giving me crap about the guy i'm going out with. i love him so much. and he means the world to me. i hate it when people give me this crap though. and one of my friends that i thought was my friend did something that she "claims" she didn't do. its a long story, but i didn't think she'd do it. i don't know how to handle it. please help me. i need to know what to say to people when they give me this crap. thanks in advance. i rate high.

when they say bad things about your boyfriend just tell them "does it look like I care? I don't think that about him and that's all that matters so f*** off" then just walk away, not mad or anything, but satisfied. Good luck with this one. Hope I helped. -Angel

Well,there's a boy I like and my feelings are so deep for him,and he is my friend.But I don't know how to tell him or should I tell him,because he has a girlfriend.So how can I tell him and what should I say?
I am a female,
and I'm 14

The best thing to do is to tell him how you feel, whether you want to or not, who knows? maybe he has feelings for you too. But you will never know until you tell him, hearts are broken by words left unspoken, good quote. Tell him how you feel, be casual about it, tell him that you really hope it doesnt ruin your friendship. Hope I helped, good luck, keep me posted. -Angel

I have this freind and I have known her for about 2 years now. She is getting to be very braty and braggy. She is sooo spoiled and gets everything she wants. And like just the other day she was like complaining about the number of presents she got. I am so sick of putting up with her. But we have like a group of people ( about 7 ) and we do everything together. I dont know what to do, becuaes it is impossible to avoid her! Please help, I rate!

Maybe she's not a good friend of yours, but everyone has a friend that they have to hang out with that they don't like, its just one of those things that you have to overcome, maybe you could be nice to her, be the bigger person. If you don't want to do that, just dont talk to her, she may say something bitchy and bratty, just ignore it, its really not worth it. Hope I helped, good luck with this one. No need to rate. -Angel

My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 6 months but sometimes I feel as if I wasn't what he really wants or anything like I'm not good enough, but I'm not the nicest either to him I have attractions for others and sometimes I let myself go along infront of him without realizing, I guess its a sick way of pay back, but sometimes Its as if I dont even like this guy anymore and I'm wasting my time. What should I do? Its like i like sometimes when im around him butt when Im not its like ok life goes on.

well, maybe if you spent less time together, you would grow fonder of eachother. "time makes the heart grow fonder" or, if things aren't really working out, you could talk to him about it, or break it off with him. Me, I don't like to give up easily, I would talk to him about it, maybe you could be more affectionate towards him. Maybe I'm not helping at all, but I hope I did, good luck, keep me posted. -Angel

I was in a mental institution and I got really close to one of the staff members that worked there, she helped me in every way possible and I thought of her as my mom. Since I have been out it seems like everytime I call the hospital to talk to her, they make an excuse for me to NOT talk to her. Last night my sister looked her up on the internet and come to find out, she lives a mile away from me, and I have her home phone number, I mailed her a christmas card this morning to her home, but I dont know if I should actually call her at home. I miss her so much and she made such a big impact in my life, what do I do? I don't want her to think that I am like stalking her or anything! ???????

I'm sure she would be happy to hear from you. Just call her and wish her a merry christmas, I'm sure that she would be thrilled to hear from you. The only reason why they wouldnt want you to talk to her though is probably because mental institutions aren't for making friends, it's to help solve a problem in your life. But I don't see what would be wrong with calling her, find out if she wants to talk to you. Ask her, she wouldn't turn you away like that. Good luck and Merry Christmas. -Angel

Last night my best friends parents got into a car accident. Her dad had to spend the night in the hospital because he broke his ribs and lost a lot of blood. Her mom is doin ok, she has internal bruises but is taking everything well. The doctors thought that her dad was going to die, but he made it through the night. Ive never been in this sort of situation before. I dont know what to say or what to do. Please help, i really need to be there for my friend!!!!!!!

thats all you gotta do, be there for your friend, be there for her to talk to, let her cry on your shoulder, stuff like that. If you dont know what to say, that's okay. She'll understand. Bake her cookies or something, just be a good friend to her right now, all she needs is a little time and someone to be there for her, you're doing the right thing. Way to go. -Angel

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