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MY SLOGAN: TREAT YOURSELF!


Hi my name is Jen - I am 33 and married; a graphic desinger, a big sister, movie lover, horse rider, and board game nerd.

advice

my mom and i have had fights about the weirdest thing ever. she wants me to wear a lot of make-up when i go out... and when i say a lot i'm not exaggerating.. she makes me wear like super purple eyeshadow and red lipstick. i personally don't think that i should be looking that rediculous. i'm not an old lady. and today she decided that i should skip school because we weren't really having class today, it was like a fun day but i didn't feel like going and we were going to go out to lunch and i was going to spend a fun day with my mother, which I sometimes don't really get to do. But, this morning I put on a red shirt that said surf on it. she had a FIT! She said that how could i wear that and that i wasn't wearing enough make-up.... and now she's not talking to me. I know that this must be the stupidest thing ever, but I'm mad now because we were suppose to have a fun day together and I was really looking forward to having a fun day outside of school.... what can i telll her??? thx xoxo

Sorry you have to deal with such perculiar requests from a mother. Usually it's the opposite.

Tell her you are old enough to decide what to wear. Thank her for her suggestions, and say you are more comfortable in what you have choosen. And as for the make-up, tell her you prefer the natrual look and that purple eye shadow is just not your style.

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My husband's parents recently brought up the idea of buying a large piece of property in my town so they, my husband and I, and my brother-in-law and his family can all live together. We will each have our own house on the property so it will be something like a family commune.

I'm against the idea. They tend to be nosy and don't see a problem with dropping in unannounced and expecting to be entertained. There is also the fact that they do not like me and go out of their way to make sure I know that. They have went so far as to tell me that I'm a bad wife and tell my husband he made a mistake marrying me. I have told my husband that if they do move here, I want to move somewhere else. He is also against the idea. He sees their obvious dislike of me and also doesn't like the idea of the loss of privacy. I spoke to my sister-in-law and she said that she and her husband are against the idea as well. She also mentioned that she would want to move if they move here.

My problem is this: no one will tell my in-laws that they don't like the idea. I'm afraid that if no one says something, my in-laws are going to take that as acceptance of their idea and go forward with it. They already have started the search for property. Once they buy the property, we'll all feel obligated to move onto it, even though it's going to make us miserable. My husband and his brother say that they can't stop them if they want to move here. If I or my sister-in-law say something, we run the risk of being accused of keeping them from their sons and grandchildren.

How would you handle a situation like this?

If my in-laws, or even my own parents suggested such a thing, I would have laughed at them the moment it was suggested and think it was a joke. Not for a moment would I let them think it was even a possibility.

Your right, as long as no says anything, your in-laws will think this is a good idea. And the longer you wait, the more upset they'll be when you tell them no.

Someone has to speak up now - especially since everyone is against the idea. They are your husband's parents. Why isn't he speaking up?

Why can't everyone just be honest? That no one likes the idea and it's not going to happen. You like your privacy, and you don't want to live next door to the entire family. You are perfectly happy where you are.

Yes, you can't stop them from moving, but you also have no reason to feel obligated to build a new house and live next door.

Tell you husband to end this fiasco tell his parents the truth. It's a no, end of discussion.

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well i have a lot of friends and i really like 2 call them and my mom never told me to ask when i wanna call some1 so i didnt
so it was like 9:00 and i called one of my best friends and then my mom came in my room and screamed at me because of that! i dont get it im like 14 and i have to ask? well maby im silly but the even more stupid thing is that now my mom is hiding all the phones and i tried to talk to her but she dosnt understand that i need to call people and she still dosnt trust me! what should i do?

Maybe she is upset because you were making phone calls so late at night. I have a feeling there is more to your story. But if you honestly don't know why your mother is upset, then calmly ask her why.

With time and good behavior, you'll get back your phone privlages - but for now, ask first.

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I am 14 and my mom won't let me wear thongs. My sister is 16 and still is not allowed to wear them. Alot of my firends wear them and some don't. Sure part of the reason I want them is because alot of people wear them but that not the whole reason. I don't want panty lines when I wear sweats of whatever. My mom has always been overprotected, she didn't let me or my sister wear a bikni until last summer. Last weekend I tried on a really cute bathing suit and all she did was say how it was to low and I need to wear something more modest or I will be sending the wronge message. She thinks if I wear a low bikni someone will come and rape me, to make a long story short she is inpossible to shop with. Anyway If I could get a thong it would make me feel that I beat my mom and won. Don't get me wrong I love my mom we don't have a bad relaship at all. It just she very religous and hard to talk to. Oh and even if I did buy a thong behind her back. I've never done my own laundry in my life so she defintly know something was up. Sorry that it was so long, guess I got carried away.

I am sure your mother sees thongs as "sexy" underwear, and you are not old enough to be sexy. And if your sister is not allowed, I don't think there is anyway you are going to convince your mother anythime soon.

And in all honesty, thongs are very uncomfortable. You really are not missing out.

I often wear seamless underwear if I am worried about having a panty line. It's made out of a nylon, and is very thin. It looks just like normal underwear and is actually very comforatble. I got mine at Victoria Secret. Those could be an option.

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I'm married, and my husband and I rent a house from my parents. I'm 20, and my husband is 21. They've been pretty generous by offering us the house over other renters, and giving us a lower rent. They insist of holding a copy of the house key for emergencies, which is fine with me.

Here's the problem. Lately, they've been letting themselves in without knocking. After my husband and I come home from work and put the baby in bed, we tend to sit around...not completely clothed. More than once now, they've caught us like this; once just walking around naked and twice being intimate.

But maybe worse, they let themselves in when we're not home. I don't think they mean any harm, but they come in, look around, borrow our stuff, and clean.

I'm afraid that they'll find something they don't like and kick us out. I feel that we're adults, and we pay rent, so we deserve some privacy. Am I right that we should have privacy? If so, how should I go about talking to my parents? I don't want to make them feel bad, since I think they're just trying to help.

Tell your parents that you are paying rent for a personal home, and expect to be treated just like any other tenant. Remind them that if a stranger was renting the house, they wouldn't just let themselves in. Since it is their home, they are welcome to let themselves in for repairs an maintenance, but with some warning.

But there is no reason they should be letting themselves in unannounced for no specific reason. Remind them you are adults, and don't need mom and dad to come clean for you. If they want to visit, they should call, or at least ring the doorbell.

They may not even know they are crossing your line. Talk to them about your expectations. Tell them it is their house, but it is YOUR home, and expect it to be treated as such. Hopefully they can respect your privacy. If not, it may be time to move out of mom & dad's house.

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I have a problem and I don't know how to go and fix it. My brother had a motorcycle accident in june 2005 and he lost his apartment because he couldn't work. He has healed and now he's working and he's been here for almost six months now. I have given him until then end of December to be out but he's not putting in any effert to look for a place. I some advice to get him out with out making him hate me. I am married and have three children to take care of. Plus since he's working he's not giving anything toward the rent and stuff like that. Hope someone can help.

You brother is taking advantage of you. It's time to stop being nice, or worry about hurting his feelings. He is obviously not worried about yours.

Give him the newspaper or book of apartment listing. Maybe even circle some good choices. It's time to let him know you are serious. Continue to remind him that end of December IS the deadline of when he has to be out because you can no longer financially support him.

Good luck!

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I’m 13, in the 8th grade, and have a guilty pleasure. I’ve been raised in an intellectual household, with both parents having a Ph.D. Generally, I don’t watch T.V. So I was at my friend’s sleepover birthday party with 7 other girls, and she rented the First Season of the O.C. We watched 4 episodes---and I liked it! I feel kind of guilty, because I know that technically, the show is for advertising and eye-candy with a plot. But I can’t help it. That blonde what’s-his-face that stole a car and set a house on fire is really good looking. And it keeps me at the edge of my seat. Now I’m addicted! What should I do? Am I shallow for liking this?


Thanks

Cheyenne

Enjoying a few hours of TV a week is not a sin. I find it very relaxing. I watched the entire first season of Desperate Housewives over a weekend while I was home sick.

Having a favorite TV show is a very normal thing. Don't feel bad for enjoying it. It's not like all you do is watch TV. It's just ONE show!

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My older sister is 17 (Im about to turn 14 in a few days) and today I was hanging out with her in her room while she was looking through her drawers for a pair of shorts. I saw something that looked like a condom wrapper but she covered it up so quickly, i thought i must have seen it wrong because my sister told me shes a virgin. Well, when she left the house, I snooped & turns out .. it was condoms, a few of them. And about 3 were un opened. Im MAD. She lied to me. And shes told me repeatedly how she wants to save herself until marriage. I dont know what to do, do i tell anyone? Im afraid she'll get an STD, or pregnant. But I cant talk to HER. Or she'll freak out at me and deny it - i know.

Just because she has a couple condoms in her drawer doesn't mean she has had sex. She may just have them around because she is curious. Besides no one keeps used condoms around, they would be disgusting. I think you should just pretend you didn't see anything.

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My question is: My eldest son is in grade 5 and has never had a problem with his school work until this year. We unfortunately had to move to my mothers house because of financial dificulty. In the begining of this year we had to put him in another school closeby sothat my mother can look after him and help him with his schoolwork. But he failed his first trimester. Me and my husband thought we will then put him in a bording school because my son and my mother does not get along very well. We talked to him and explained that it will be better for him and more peacefull. We got his report back today and he failed even worse. What do you sujest we do? How can we help him if we work from 06:00 to 19:30 every day exept saturdays and sundays.

Instead of pushing your son's problems on to someone else like your mother or a boarding school, take responsibility and start being a parent. He is acting out because you have moved him away from his friends and you don't seem to time for him. He's all alone! He needs your love and attetion. As a parent you HAVE to make time for your son. If you want him to make an effort, then you have to make an effort. Show him that you care and make the time to study with your son, and make the time to spend time with your son. Showing that you care, will make him care. Disciplining him or sending him away will only make the situation get worse.

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i dont know what i'm suppose to call my sister in laws parents.. i mean i dont if i call them be mrs and mr.... or by first name?

Since you are considered "family" I think it would be proper to call them by their first names.

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I think things have changed over the last few years about the way people view smokers and smoking in general. With this change, smokers have to change. Being a "courteous" smoker means to not smoke in the same room with someone who doesn't smoke or finds it offensive. I think that he would care a little more about someone's health besides his own and at LEAST smoke outside. I guess that's my opinion. Thanks for your input.

Chanon

I was just saying why should he suddenly change his way of life because YOU have had a change of heart. Smokers don't HAVE to do anything. You can choose if you want to live with a smoker, but you can't make a smoker suddenly stop smoking in his own home. And by the way, I am not promoting smoking, I personaly hate it as well.

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My husband has smoked for years...35 to be exact. We have been married for 30 years. He is slim, but not very healthy, I think. He almost quit just recently and I was so proud of him and told everyone that I was. He was down to about one cigarette a day. I feel like garbage when he smokes because he does it in the house, car, whatever. It makes me feel like a smoker myself. I feel that if I wanted to smoke, I would have kept it up in college, so you see, I know what it is like to be a smoker, but not what it's like to be a non-smoker, even though I don't smoke. I am sorry this sounds bitter. I am mad. Tell me what to do. I am ready to move out. We have a great marriage, but I don't want to feel crappy anymore because of someone else's vice. He refuses to go outside to smoke.

Chanon

Be supportive of his goal to quit, but don't get mad when he does smoke. You knew he was a smoker when you married him. You can't change who he is, especially after 35 years. You either except the man you married or leave. But don't blame him.

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my birth details
name: charu
sex: female
dob: 01-01-1975
status: married since 6 years
place of bith: jhansi, India
time: 13: 42 pm wednesday afternoon

QUESTION: 1_) WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE ? IF UR ANSWER IS YES LET ME KNOW THE MONTH AND YEAR OF CONCEPTION ALONGWITH THE SEX OF MY CHILDREN
2) BIF U CAN TELL ME PLEASE THEN LET ME KNOW WHETHER IT WILL BE A NATURAL CONCEPTION OR ATEST TUBE CHILD?

TYHANKS
REPLY SOON
REGARDS
CHARU

Sorry, but we are not psychic

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do foster homes keep brothers and sisters together

No, not always.

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My boyfriend and I gave our virginity to eachother ( im 14 he 16) and the way we slept together was we snuck out of the house. I got caught and now I am grounded until June 18 now we got caught on April 25 and ever since then he was acting really weird like he didnt like me anymore and everything else but before april 25 we did it 4 times before that. and he acted fine but the thing is he didnt even get in trouble for sneaking out and hes acting really really really weird. like I talked to him about how he's changing and he said he doesnt know whats going on. so i asked him if he's still interested and he said "i guess so" then the next day i asked him do you want to be with me and he didnt answer then we almost broke up but we didnt and then i said to him i need you to be more affectionate and he said no. and hes not going to change or even try to.

This is very confusing but for people who understand me tell me. Should I break up with him? and what is wrong with him!!

I WILL RATE 5'S!! JUST PLEASE HELP ME!!

This is why kids should not sleep together! They can't handel the responsiblities or emotions that come with sex. Please in the future, wait until you are in a mature and commited relationship. And don't expect much from a guy that says "I guess" in reference to being in a relationship. He obviously is not too commited, it's time to let him go.

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I have a concern that eats at me. I cannot just put this to the side and not say anything any longer. The problem lies with my mother-in-law. I do care about her deeply and am very hurt by what has been going on.

Here's the background of myself, I have been married for 5 years now, we have a 4 year old and just had a new baby in Februrary. My husband is the oldest of 3 sons from his family. The middle brother just got married in February- this brother picked our due date to get married (which is another story). As the parents of the bride and groom, my in-laws were expected to pay for the rehearsal dinner...which they did...this was in excess of $700.00. Plus she bought a new dress for the wedding and bought the new bride and groom a wedding gift - this is all understandable. What is not understandable is my husband and I had a baby shower at the beginning of February, 3 weeks before due date/wedding. The mother-in-law did buy the cake (which was very sweet) for the shower however, never bought the baby a gift. She keeps saying she will buy something but doesn't. My birthday was also in February, she never bought me a gift, not even a card. We have the baby and she still has yet to buy the baby anything. My husband's birthday (her own son) was in March - no present - no card - nothing for him either. Now her younger son had his 21st birthday in April and she bought him a really nice gift. In the 5 years that my husband and I have been married, we have been over maybe 2 times a year (other than Thanksgiving & Christmas) to eat. Now the son that just got married in February and his new wife are over there for dinner at least 2 times a week. She did have us over approximately 3 weeks ago for dinner but she stressed to us that she may not be able to have us over because she may not have the money. Again this week she mentioned she would like to have us over "if she has the money" (we have offered to even buy the groceries - she has declined). We do not eat more than the average person.

I am extremely hurt that 1. she can afford a 700 rehearsal dinner and a gift for the bride and groom but can't afford even a $10.00 outfit for her new grandbaby 2. She can afford to buy her youngest son a birthday present but can't afford to buy her oldest son a birthday present (my husband) 3. Can afford to have the new bride and groom over for dinner a couple times a week but has a financial problem when it comes to inviting us over for dinner.

We have no weird time schedules; we are not picky - I will even help clean up after dinner (unlike the new wife). My daughter is well behaved.

On her behalf they are not financially set*(which makes this more frustrating that they can stretch their money for others but not for us). Another thing I can think of is that they are not much of cooks so she may be helping them out in this aspect. But if this is the case, it's not fair because my husband and I could have used help in the beginning of our marriage as well. The new bride and groom do not go to school but my husband and I were in our senior years in college when we got married and Lord knows we struggled, especially financially - we could have used some help too.

I do know she loves me, especially her own son. I do know she does not like the new wife very much. I just don't understand and am extremely hurt, I can't stress how hurt I am from this because I do care about her so much. Please advise what to do. Should I say something to her or any other suggestions. It's just not fair

Gifts are given, and should not be expected. If you say something to her, you will just come off as being selfish. And do you really want a gift that she was guilted into giving you. What she gives to others has nothing to do with you, so stop comparing yourself with others. Life is too short to stress over a few gifts you never recived. If you want to spend time with her, stop waiting for invites for dinner and invite her to your home instead. Stop comparing and expecting, it will never come out even.

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My mom gave me a pair of earrings a while ago. I wore them all the time and I loved them. The problem is, I lost one of them somewhere in school. It was a total accident and it must have came off while I was running/playing sports. I have still have one of them, but I don't know whether to tell my mom. I have alot of other earrings and the lost earring is probably already stolen. Should I just let it go or fess up to my mom? If they were expensive, I would be in deep trouble. Also, my mom would think I was very irresponsible and wouldn't trust me with anything anymore.

Loosing your earring was an accident. I would hope you mother would not punish you for that. Hiding something shows you did something wrong, which in this case you didn't. Tell her what happened and how upset you are for loosing something you loved. I think you will be suprized how supportive she'll be.

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I dont know what to do. My dad lives in Georgia, and I live in Mass., with my mom. Ive been thinking about how much i miss my dad, and how i want to live with him. But, I dont want to leave my mom and my friends here. How should i bring this up, and what should i do?! PLEASE HELP ME!

Before taking the extream and completely move, why don't you take an extended visit. Maybe spend the summer with your dad.

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i was out the other day and met my sisters mates who were drunke.ive always kinda nown that my sister is gay but i thought it was just a phase. they lat it slip that she was gay and she had a girlfriend.i havent talked about it to my sister yet and was wondering if anyone has been in my situation and what did they do.im not ashamed by it but im just shocked,do u think its still a phase? please get back to me soon. xx

Right now you are in denial if you are thinking it is just a phase. It's most likley not. Ask her why she has kept it a secret. Let her know she doesn't need to hid things from you because you are going to support her no matter what, and you are not ashamed that she is gay. To show your support offer to help her come out to your parents.

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I'm 19/f. I dont know how to solve this problem between me and my mom. Were constanly rowing and i dont know how to make them stop. The rows are about everything home my job money the lot. Its really getting me down and i'm getting really really depressed i've tried talking to her but it just ends in a row. Help.

Well you are gowing into an adult and want to be independant, yet if you live at home your mother still thinks she is incharge. So naturally you are going to argue over who is control of your life. Maybe it is time to move out, then she can't control what you do. You won't have to argue about money and your home, because it is no longer shared. My sister and I get along much better with eachother and our parents now that we no longer live together.

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