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How to get a loved one to quit smoking...or else!
My husband has smoked for years...35 to be exact. We have been married for 30 years. He is slim, but not very healthy, I think. He almost quit just recently and I was so proud of him and told everyone that I was. He was down to about one cigarette a day. I feel like garbage when he smokes because he does it in the house, car, whatever. It makes me feel like a smoker myself. I feel that if I wanted to smoke, I would have kept it up in college, so you see, I know what it is like to be a smoker, but not what it's like to be a non-smoker, even though I don't smoke. I am sorry this sounds bitter. I am mad. Tell me what to do. I am ready to move out. We have a great marriage, but I don't want to feel crappy anymore because of someone else's vice. He refuses to go outside to smoke.
Chanon
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Tell him that smoking has been linked to erection and ejaculation problems. Every guy who knows should stop for that reason.
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tell him to stop or your gonna move out. if he loves you he'll try to quit
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Just tell him that him smoking is harmful to you.. and its not a lie 2nd hand smoke kills.. then see how he reacts and if he doesnt start smoking outside then tell him that you really can't stand it anymore and that you are ready to help him, remember quitting is a really hard thing so he needs someone to help him cope through these tough times. Make sure he knows that you arent just caring about yourself but ultimately about him. Also know that after quitting smoking that hes bound to gain a couple of pounds and maybe hes self concious about that so make sure he knows that you dont care how much he weighs as long as he stops smoking. Also if he doesnt go for any of these ideas just tell him if he doesnt TRY to quit or get help or cut down and smoke outside then you will leave him [if you're willing to go to extremes] I know that I am only 14 but i hope i've helped.
<center> love ;;
<center> samantha
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I have a father that does the same. he smokes around me even though he knows that I have a hard time breathing. I have no clue what you can do but here are somethings that help for me to get my dad to stop smoking.
1. I ask him... do you really wanna kill me with that death stick your smoking.
2. I also tell him... your not the only one your killing with that cig.
3. I flush his cigs down the toilet.
4. throw them into the rain if its raining out.
5. I ask him... dont you wanna see how life is with out smoke in your face and your lungs being out of breath.
6. I also show him the disterbing pictures of what smokers lungs, heart and brain.
I really hope I helped. just try these out.
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Sounds as if he was smoking long before you married. Smoking is one of the hardest habits there is to break. Sounds as if he has tried once, perhaps he will again. The thing is if you are on his case all the time...well, stress is a reason to have a cigarette.
If you truly can't handle it then move on. I believe the second hand smoke BS to be just that for the most part but people have a right to do what they want. I think he could at least compromise with you. A neighbor of mine has a room in the garage with a TV and the whole nine yards because hes not allowed to smoke in the house. Granted he doesn't spend a lot of time with his wife....depends on the lifestyle you want. :)
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what you can do is say you went to the doctor and you have asma and this is my house and you cant smoke in front of me or in the house and if he re refuses to go out side start coughing or you can limit the amount to 1 pack a week and if he doesnt then you can secretly get to his wallet and take his credit cards away so he cant buy any more another way you get him to stop is to go to the store and buy those patches and put them on him and tell him that he is not aloud to smoke or he will get nosiated if he doesn't like the patches you can go to the doctor or store and get some smoking pills that help they are at walgreens if you want to know what store they are in
hoped I helped
Luv Brittany : )
check out my column
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I'm not sure if anyone on this site will be able to help you (A married woman) since a lot of us are just teens...but I'll at least give it a try.
I think you should do some research on smoking and "educate" your husband on the dangers of it all. Sometimes people do things because they just like it and don't really know the about what they're doing and what the effects will be. I'm not sure how effective that will be on your husband...but maybe it will help him see just what smoking really is doing to him and you.
Have you talked to him? Well, I know you've talked to him...but have you talked to him about you wanting to move out if he doesn't quit smoking? If you haven't, that's definitely one thing to put at the top of your list. He needs to see that you are serious about this. You say the both of you have a great marriage...is that really true? If he's trying his best to get off of smoking that's great because it shows he cares...but you say he won't go outside to smoke. That doesn't sound like he's thinking about you.
It all has to come down to a compromise. For example, he can smoke as long as he smokes outside or at least not around you. Something like that. Because although I agree with you (smoking is horrible) you married this man knowing he wasn't perfect. You can't exactly change him. Maybe you can and that's great, but chances are you probably won't win seeing he's been a smoker for a hecka long time. Which means you're going to have to compromise with him so the both of you can be okay with it, move on, and live life together.
If your love is strong the two of you should be able to get through it and still love each other. If the two of you can't handle it...it probably means the bond between you two isn't too strong. And that's okay...who wouldn't be sad about getting a divorce? It's understandble, but if things don't work out you must move on. I believe everything that happens between a couple is a TEST. We all go through many, many, many tests together. And these tests are the only way we can see if you two were really meant for each other. Don't regret anything because it all happened for a reason and you are now wiser.
Good luck with your husband.
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ok first take a chill pill chanon! alright now i think that you should have a serious firm talk to him. tell him that you cant stand it anymore! tell him you love him but if he keeps this up you'll be out of the door. if he loves you then im sure he'll understand.hope i helped : )
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Well i'm not sure you can make him quit (but you certianly can give him a hefty shove into doing it ;) )
Does your husband know that Second Hand Smoke kills? And by keeping this habit he may eventually kill you, if he doesn't get cancer himself? Have you told him how crappy it makes you feel when he smokes around you? Once agian with the second hand...
If you choose to have children (though if you've been married for 35 years most likely your children are grown up and moved out) you risk SIDS( sudden infant deaths)
Try telling him you don't feel comfortable inviting guests over to the house because of the smell and the fact he has a disgusting habit.
How difficult is it for him to step outside when he needs a smoke? or Open a window? When your in the car get him to crack a window so he flicks ashes out there and the smoke goes out there so you aren't stuck with it in the car.
Also, try this site : [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
to see if it provides any usful information/facts that could help him stop smoking.
Hope i helped.
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Can you compromise? I think you have a right to your feelings. You have a right to be mad. I smoke myself but would never smoke in someone else's presence without asking them first. I ALWAYS go outside to smoke - even in my own house!!! My only thought is if you can compromise. If it's bad enough for you to leave - then it's definately time to do something about it! The question becomes - what can you do about his actions? The answer is NOTHING!! So what do you do? First of all, as hard as this sounds, stop focusing on it and for now don't say anything to him about it. Just take a piece of paper and write a list of what you appreciate about your husband and your home when it is smoke free every day. Right now the energy around that subject is so mixed up that a good result can't come. It's obvious that he won't stop doing it even on your request - so you'll have to do the work on you to get the results you want. So, try for 1 week (day by day) to not say one word about the smoke - try to just focus on what you like. I know it may sound airy fairy - but the truth is you get what you think about - and you are getting what you are thinking about which is smoke in the house. Do that for a week and then email me back and we'll see how it's going. Don't assume this will fail because I have seen this work on situations much more intense than this!! Just try it. Give it a chance. Relax. Stop talking about it to your friends. Stop thinking about it as you lay in bed at night. Just find something else to think about.
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Sometimes it takes time for a person to quit smoking. My mom has been smoking for over 20 yrs no matter what I told her it didnt change her mind until she decided to quit to make her life healthier .Its up to him if he wants to quit and when you cant push those things . I would imagine he is going through stress or depression if he is smoking. You need to tell him that what he is doing is not healthy and that he should see a doctor probably so they can tell him how his smoking is effecting him . If he doesnt get it then i guess he is not ready to quit again. Dont give up on him have hope! I hope I helped. Good luck ♥Kate
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Be supportive of his goal to quit, but don't get mad when he does smoke. You knew he was a smoker when you married him. You can't change who he is, especially after 35 years. You either except the man you married or leave. But don't blame him.
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