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Hiding in my own house
I'm married, and my husband and I rent a house from my parents. I'm 20, and my husband is 21. They've been pretty generous by offering us the house over other renters, and giving us a lower rent. They insist of holding a copy of the house key for emergencies, which is fine with me.
Here's the problem. Lately, they've been letting themselves in without knocking. After my husband and I come home from work and put the baby in bed, we tend to sit around...not completely clothed. More than once now, they've caught us like this; once just walking around naked and twice being intimate.
But maybe worse, they let themselves in when we're not home. I don't think they mean any harm, but they come in, look around, borrow our stuff, and clean.
I'm afraid that they'll find something they don't like and kick us out. I feel that we're adults, and we pay rent, so we deserve some privacy. Am I right that we should have privacy? If so, how should I go about talking to my parents? I don't want to make them feel bad, since I think they're just trying to help.
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ok not to make them not to feel bad just tell the "mom ,dad me and my husband need a little privacy we dont mind you coming to viste but could you knock .i dont want you to gte mad but i think i take care of the kid and the house pay the rent i can take care of myself so come when you want but please just knock im sure we'll be home and let you in but if were not home come in and write a note to call you so i can tell you were home.dont clean the house or do anything just write a note i think this will work fine ok ".
hope i helped!
tootsierollsweet999
.:katie:. :)xxoo<3
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You, your husband, and your parents should sign a legally binding lease agreement. A lease gives you certain legal rights as a tenant, including the right to change the locks and not give the owner a key. The owner has no legal right to enter your apartment without your consent. Most people do not realize this. Anyway, sign the contract, and if they don't take the hint from that, go one step further and change the locks. Give the "emergency" key to a neighbor or friend.
The lease agreement also protects you from being wrongfully evicted. The only way they could evict you is by having a judge sign the eviction papers, and a judge won't sign for the wrong reason.
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Tell your parents that you are paying rent for a personal home, and expect to be treated just like any other tenant. Remind them that if a stranger was renting the house, they wouldn't just let themselves in. Since it is their home, they are welcome to let themselves in for repairs an maintenance, but with some warning.
But there is no reason they should be letting themselves in unannounced for no specific reason. Remind them you are adults, and don't need mom and dad to come clean for you. If they want to visit, they should call, or at least ring the doorbell.
They may not even know they are crossing your line. Talk to them about your expectations. Tell them it is their house, but it is YOUR home, and expect it to be treated as such. Hopefully they can respect your privacy. If not, it may be time to move out of mom & dad's house.
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talk to your parents about this. they should understand because once upon a time they did that kind of stuff to. dont let them keep lettin themselves in. its not right. hope i helped.
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i think you should talk to them. they are prob. still copping with the fact that you dont live with them anymore and you are an adult. do you have a lock on your door (like the one above the door not on the door?) maybe try locking that or put a sign up while you dont want them coming in says we are busy or something! i would talk to them first and if they get upset try to compromise with them somehow
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If you pay rent then they should treat you as they would any other renter of the house.
I am sure they think they are helping you by coming in and cleaning etc., You would think though that after catching you undressed they would have started knocking at least!
If they are reasonable people, I don't think your saying something to them will be taken the wrong way.
Tell them you want to try keeping your own place clean and all that. While you appreciate they are trying to help you really want to be on your own.
You need to let them know that coming in without knocking and coming in when you are not around is invading your privacy. Everyone needs privacy.
By not letting them know how you feel, they think its okay to continue.
Oh, and if you don't do it already...knock when you visit them too.
Good luck. :)
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Well, explain to them that your not comfortable with them just going in the house with out knocking or asking first. Let them know that ya'll are adults and need your privacy. Tell them that they want to be alone with each other just like you want to be alone with your husband.
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I understand exactly where your coming from. It's different when your a kid and someone walks into your room without knocking, you are a paying adult. Yes, you should talk to her and if its bugging you. Just explain to her as nicely as you can that you don't care if they come in on emergencies, or if they atleast knock first. They are your parents and I'm almost positive she will understand.
♥Sammm
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I think you're right to expect some privacy. However, because it's your parents, this will have to be handled with tact to avoid hurt feelings.
I would sit down with your parents or maybe just your mother. First, I would thank them for their generosity and help. Then, I would gently explain that you would like some privacy. Tell them you would like some private time with your husband and child. Ask that they call before visiting so they don't catch you in a position that's potentially embarassing for all of you. Since they've already walked in on you before, I'm sure they will understand the necessity of that. Since they are probably lonely and wanting to visit with you, try setting aside a night or two a week to invite them over. It will help to make them feel welcome, but on a basis that you're all comfortable with.
Since they also come in when you're not home, you need to talk about that as well. Make sure they understand that you don't mind them borrowing something, but you would like to be aware of it beforehand. It can sometimes be inconvenient when you need something and it's gone. As for the cleaning, unless you are willing to take that on yourself, there isn't much you can do. If you are willing, tell your parents that you appreciate the help, but you would like to try to run your house by yourself.
Good luck. I hope this works out for you.
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i understand where your coming from yes it was very nice of your parents to rent to you but nevertheless you and your husband are adults who deserve your privacy and its about time you stress this to your parents because they need to understand that you have your own life and they need to respect your privacy hope i helped good luck write me sweet apples if you have any other questions
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In one sense, you DO deserve privacy, because you have a child, you pay for rent, & you're married. But they are your parents, they probably don't know any better, and they're just trying to do some good by cleaning & helping you out a little bit. Although, in a way they're just making everything bad. You are right, you do deserve privacy. Just explain to them exactly what you said here, you pay rent, and you're adults. - you deserve privacy. They'll understand for sure.
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i think u shood talk about this with them
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You're 20 and you're married, you deserve some privacy! You should think of your parents just like you would if it had been someone else renting out the house. Would you like them barging in without knocking? Just confront your parents and tell them that you want more privacy, tell them that you're a married adult and privacy is what you deserve. Ask them to knock before they come in, and not to come in when you're not home. You shouldnt feel bad, they helped by giving you a house, they arent helping by looking through youre stuff and barging in unannounced.
**hope i helped**
~~skippy_pebbles~~
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