I'm 19/f. I dont know how to solve this problem between me and my mom. Were constanly rowing and i dont know how to make them stop. The rows are about everything home my job money the lot. Its really getting me down and i'm getting really really depressed i've tried talking to her but it just ends in a row. Help.
kleokriesel answered Tuesday March 8 2005, 6:12 pm: Do you have a relative your mom respects and listens to? Whenever my mom and I fight and she's not listening, I call on an aunt or a cousin to set her straight.
jbdreamer answered Tuesday March 8 2005, 4:14 pm: Well you are gowing into an adult and want to be independant, yet if you live at home your mother still thinks she is incharge. So naturally you are going to argue over who is control of your life. Maybe it is time to move out, then she can't control what you do. You won't have to argue about money and your home, because it is no longer shared. My sister and I get along much better with eachother and our parents now that we no longer live together. [ jbdreamer's advice column | Ask jbdreamer A Question ]
Hellheart answered Tuesday March 8 2005, 3:19 pm: Often, arguments start and persist because both sides insist on them happening. However, this is not always the case, and it doesn't seem to be in this case either.
Based on what you've said, you've tried to actually talk about how things make you feel or your opinions, etc, without attacking her...but because of constant attack and failure on your mom's part to really listen, your efforts to talk rationally eventually give way to arguing yourself.
If this isn't true, then you should try the above, and see what happens.
But assuming you have, and your mom simply insists on argument because she refuses to even consider the fact that your view is right...the only actual good resolution I can think of is telling her "we need to see a family therapist. Now. Unless you like how we're ruining each other's lives." or something to that effect.
If she refuses...then you have to minimize the arguments by simply refusing to respond, since you know where that leads to. And work on moving out whenever it becomes viable. Some people just refuse to tone down even if it destroys the lives of others.
luvyourfavoritex answered Tuesday March 8 2005, 3:09 pm: Sometimes it's good to spend some time apart. Constant arguments can be caused by being around someone too much. If you live with her, try staying at a friends' house for a few days. If you don't live with her, try minimizing contact with her for a little while. [ luvyourfavoritex's advice column | Ask luvyourfavoritex A Question ]
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