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my brother
I have a problem and I don't know how to go and fix it. My brother had a motorcycle accident in june 2005 and he lost his apartment because he couldn't work. He has healed and now he's working and he's been here for almost six months now. I have given him until then end of December to be out but he's not putting in any effert to look for a place. I some advice to get him out with out making him hate me. I am married and have three children to take care of. Plus since he's working he's not giving anything toward the rent and stuff like that. Hope someone can help.
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Kick him out.
It's ultimately for the best, for you and for him. He won't see it now, but that is of little concern. A little pain now saves a lot later.
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I have to agree with the others. You just can't be the nice guy here or he is going to walk all over you.
You have to stick to your guns...even if he doesn't have a place by then. Start now. Anything of his that's lying around the house...start packing it up. Let him know you mean business.
If the end of December arrives and he has no place yet, let him know he will be staying with a friend or in a hotel, but not in your house.
It isn't like he is a kid who hasn't been on his own before. He has had his own apartment. He just enjoys maid service you provide. Stop cooking for him and doing his laundry (if you do). Make him eat out or cook his own. Make him clean up after and do his own dishes.
In other words...make him miserable!
If he gets mad, he gets mad. He will get over it. Don't feel bad about wanting him out.
Good luck and stay tough. :)
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This is a tough one. I'm afraid your brother is going to be mad no matter what. He's enjoying the free ride and doesn't want to have to get out there to pay for is own way. Or, it could be that he is afraid to get back out there. Whatever the reason what I'd do is get some apartment listings together from the paper and elsewhere. I'd sit down with him and show him the apartments I'd come up with. If he gets angry with you or avoids the issue I'd remind him how much you cared about him. You wouldn't have let him move in with you in during his time of crisis if you didn't. If he still refuses to act I'd contact your parents or maybe some close friends and see if I couldn't elicit their help in this matter. Sometimes family members don't listen to us, yet they will listen to others. It doesn't sound like it is going to go smoothly. Don't let that deter you. He may be mad at first, but he will get over it in the long run. You have to take care of you and your family first and foremost. Good luck!
Namaste,
LULABELLE
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You brother is taking advantage of you. It's time to stop being nice, or worry about hurting his feelings. He is obviously not worried about yours.
Give him the newspaper or book of apartment listing. Maybe even circle some good choices. It's time to let him know you are serious. Continue to remind him that end of December IS the deadline of when he has to be out because you can no longer financially support him.
Good luck!
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