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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

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Laura/22/England

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What do you do when you're completely, utterly, blindingly, confusingly, mesmerizingly, and inexcusably in love with a man? Do you tell him? Is it a bad idea? What if it's the only person you have ever even had the smallest crush on? How would you get over it if they rudely rejected you? What about if they unexpectedly have admired you from afar forever and you never noticed because you were too busy thinking about when the perfect moment would be? How do you manage something like this? Someone please help, my heart hurts. He's too perfect for me. I want him to know but at the same time I can't get over it! This has been going on for the past 5 months. Please help my heart aches

Everyone is different - you get some people who aren't afraid to speak of their feelings and you get others who shy away.

Personally, I've learnt I prefer to tell people how I feel, I do think "what if I get rejected" but it's a part of life we will all face at some point and it will be a big learning step.

I'll give you an example. About 2 months ago my boyfriend and I broke up after almost 4 years and in that time, I realised I was beginning to develop feelings for a friend who I'd known since I was a young teen. Knowing I could either tell him with the possibility of him feeling the same outweighed the possibility of being rejected and making a good friendship awkward. and I'm glad I did because he's now my boyfriend.

If the man you have these feelings for is available and not in a relationship, I say go for it - the worst that could happen is he will say he doesn't feel the same. It sounds bad and it will hurt you knowing you can't have someone you're in love with but you can go away knowing that you tried and you don't have to think all the annoying "what if" questions. You can just get over it and move on to someone more suited to you.

I'm really interested to know whether you decide to tell him and what happens - let me know in feedback. Best of luck.

i've been talking to this boy for 2 weeks now. i'm starting to really like him, and i think he really likes me also. the only problem is he is still in love with his ex girlfriend. he brought up a couple times already comments regarding his ex. i think he was unaware of it though.

so i went on his facebook today and saw the pictures of them still up. updated only a month ago. i know they're not still seeing each other. i'm afraid if i continue to see him i might really fall for him and get hurt in the long run. what would you do in my situation?

You need to give it some time and don't rush into anything. You want him to like you for you and not because he misses the attention he got from having a girlfriend.
If I were in your position, I wouldn't stop talking to him because I could trust myself to not fall for him and keep it strictly as friends.. but seeing as you're already developing feelings towards him, it's probably best to get the idea of dating him out of your head and stop talking to him as much. 2 weeks is early days, if anything is meant to blossom from this, it will, given time.

Good luck.

I know it's kind of personal but how did you know when you were in love? What things did you notice? Do you feel good knowing you were in love? How old were you the first time you were in love?

I am using these answers to help figure out my own feelings. Thank you!

When I was 20, I was in love - I'd had boyfriends before which I felt strongly about but they didn't come close to how I felt later.
I knew I was in love when he was all I could think about. I didn't see other guys in the same way any more and when I pictured my future, I could see him in it. I remember thinking to myself if I had to give my own life to save his, I'd do it.. I would have given him my world - everything I could possibly offer..
It was an amazing feeling knowing I cared for and felt so deeply for someone and the feelings being mutual. With every kiss and cuddle, always feeling that spark and such a strong connection.. and the fact we were always on the same wavelength.. It really did make days worthwhile. Just a shame for me, it didn't have the perfect ending!

I said "fuck you" to my boyfriend but i didn't mean it, it just slipped out. I apologized a minute later but he said he can't be with me anymore. Is there anything i can do to make it better?

Everyone says things they don't mean in the heat of the moment without thinking of the consequences.
He's clearly shocked by your actions so just give him a bit of time to cool off - let him know you're deeply sorry and hope he can forgive you for your silly mistake.
Hopefully you mean more to him than accidentally blurting out 2 silly words and he will come to terms with it soon.

Ok so about a week ago I broke up with a guy because he isolated me from my friends, but I still love him so much. He told me last night that he wants to kiss me one last time on Monday when we see each other at school. I want to kiss him more than anything in the world, Im scared though. We've kissed before but we arent dating now and I dont want people to think we're back together. He told me early this morning that he loves my best friend. I was so hurt. I mean, your not supposed to go for your ex's bestie. Like seriously I was pretty pissed off. I told him I love him and he said he loves my best friend. Well isnt this great. Then, he appologized for everything and I dont know what to say. I love him and I want to kiss him on Monday. Should I?

You broke up, he tells you he wants to give you a final kiss and then tells you he's in love with your best friend..
If I were in your position, I wouldn't even be talking to him, let alone considering kissing him.
Sad thing is though, no matter what anyone on here tells you, you're gonna follow how YOU feel.. before you make any rash decisions, think about this: What will kissing him "one last time" actually achieve? It's not gonna help you get over it, it's gonna create more feelings. Sounds to me like you're setting yourself up for heartbreak.
The best thing to do in this situation is give yourself some time - figure out what you both actually want. If you should be together, then eventually, you will be.
Let me know what you decide to do and what happens in feedback.

My bf's birthday is coming up and I want to get him a scent that will just make me want cuddle up next to him or jump his bones lol like the sort of scent worthy of spraying on my pillow or on tshirts that I wear around the house to remind me of him. He's in his early 30s and I have no idea what kind of scents I like on guys so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

One Million by Paco Rabanne. My favourite smell on a guy so far. I got it for my brother as a present and my boyfriend liked it so much, he had to have it too. Everyone always compliments it (girls and boys) The lady one smells absolutely gorgeous, too! Definitely worth a go testing it. Let me know what you think.

If your gf is away at college and has guys of one her friends sleeping in her room with her and her roommate and she cuddles with him would you look at it as cheating or something to be mad/hurt about? Or if they slept in the same bed? Guys and girls opinions are good

Cuddles aren't really cheating in my eyes - however, you need to address to her that it's making you upset that she's seeking affection from other males. Could just be that she doesn't realize how you feel about it?
I think it's more the fact that you aren't there to see exactly what is going on, which in turn arouses suspicion.
Talk to her about it - and if she isn't willing to stop something as simple as cuddling up to other people in bed, maybe you should reconsider your relationship.

what is a cute nicknames for a boy named matt

My boyfriend is called Matt, so I call him things which we've used as an inside joke, such as Maffew, or Mashu, as his baby nephew likes to call him!
It's always more fun/personal when you come up with something yourself :) Have fun thinking!

If my hubby is sad or scared or upset he wants me to hold him and calls me mommy. We've been married for almost 13 years and we don't have any children. Is it normal for him to act like this ? He's 35 years old almost 36.

Have you actually asked him why he calls you it? There could be some psychological issue here, but I don't want to start throwing around a diagnosis when infact, it could be nothing at all, like a silly joke for instance, or the possibility of him wanting children?
The fact he wants you to hold him sounds normal - many people like to be comforted in a time of need, but without knowing you 2 personally, the "mommy" issue will have to be addressed by a professional.
If he has trouble talking about it with you, see if he's willing to talk to a therapist.

Okay, so. I promised my bf I'd send him some of my private stuff. I only promised because he sort of forced me into promising but then I said it was no big deal. So I told him I would send it to him by the end of the day. But it turns out that things went wrong that day and I ran out of time to send it to him. I was gonna text him a sorry but then he called me a bitch for not sending it. How should I react!?

Not only did he force you into doing something you didn't want to do, he insulted you after.
That's NOT how a boyfriend should act towards you. Does he insult you or make you do things you aren't so sure about on a regular basis?
If I were you, I'd have strong words with him about how his behaviour is unacceptable - it's up to YOU what you do and what you send him. and if he doesn't like it, or keeps on at you to do things you don't want to do, to put it nicely, tell him to **** off and find someone who treats you well.

I'm thirteen with a girlfriend, but I've never made out with anyone but she has, Im not sure what to do. Can you help me?
Male
Age:13

Hey, thanks for inboxing.
Everyone worries about their first kiss. but once you've done it, you will wonder why you stressed about it in the first place!
Here's a few tips:
* Just relax (kissing comes naturally, I promise)
* Go slow - rushing will make it wet and sloppy
* Start by parting your lips (not too much!) and take one of her lips (top or bottom) inbetween yours (she should respond by doing the same thing) this gives you your basic kiss and from there, if you both want to, you can explore further by frenching. I just found this guide for you, it's really good at explaining:
http://www.wikihow.com/Kiss#The_French_Kiss

Remember - don't panic. and just go with the flow. :)

I just started dating this guy like a week and a half ago, and his birthday is right around Christmas. We've been friends since the start of the school year, but I don't know if I'm supposed to get him a present...? We are only 14, and not very serious yet. Any advice? Do I need to get him something, and if so, what are some ideas? Thanks.

If I was in your position, I would. Nothing huge, but still, it's the thought that counts.
You know him better than us.. what does he like?
If you really aren't sure, then get him a card and bake him some nicely decorated cookies (or whatever food he likes) Thought would have definitely gone into make him a present AND it's food - you can't go wrong with food for a guy ;)

hello, what makes a straight boyfriend go to a gay pub with his gay mate? why does a straight men go to gay pub or club? does straight men go to gay club, EVER? is it NORMAL or should i be warned? thanks.

There's nothing wrong with gay pubs. I've ended up in a few gay bars myself and I'm straight. There isn't a strict code where you must be gay to enter.
I think you're over thinking and worrying for no reason.
Maybe he goes because his gay friend feels more comfortable in there.. or maybe it's actually enjoyable in there.
Either way, don't stress about it - it's just a pub.

so my fiance paul is in a band and he said i cant go to any of his shows cuz of this girl emily. apparently paul reminds emily of her ex and seeing him happy with another girl will male emily sad. but paul said emily is gay ans she is married to a women but i found her bra on his floor. what do i do? i love paul so much and i dont want to lose him but i dont know if he is cheating

Is this for real!? Who cares if Paul reminds Emily of her ex. To put it bluntly, Paul is NOT her ex, so she really has NO say in the matter - and definitely cannot stop him from having his own partner there.
I think there's more to this story which he's not telling you. It sounds awfully dodgy and to be honest, if I were you, I just wouldn't put up with it. Have a serious talk with him about it and if he still doesn't care about your feelings as much as Emily's, you might want to reconsider who you're going to marry.

Guys, I need your honest answer as to why you try so hard to be forward and let a girl know you're interested..only to go completely quit and distant one day??? I don't get it. I know this one guy who made it pretty blunt that he was into me, he was always talking and making the first text message move. And now it's like he just hasn't made any attempt to try and talk. I've texted him a few random times within the past week, and he doesn't reply. What can I do to make him go back to how he was acting? Thanks so much!!

I'm not a guy but I've had friends with similar problems.
Most likely reasons are:

1. You aren't the only girl he likes, so he could have lost interest in you.
2. He wants you to do some of the chasing.
3. You didn't make it clear enough you like him back so he moved on.
-You said you txt him a few times in the week, so I added an extra number for you:
4. He can't reply to you with his phone for some reason (lack of credit?!)

Do you actually like him? Or did you just like the attention? If you like him, why don't you just simply ask him why he seems to have lost interest all of a sudden. There's no need to beat around the bush - just say it how it is, so you can know the truth and stick around if you want to or move on.

I'd like to know what happens, so let me know in feedback. :)

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost four months now, and he wants to keep us a secret from his friends and family. I am 14, he is 18 - please no comments about age, we don't mind the age difference at all - and we live far apart. We text all the time, but barley get to see eachother. He doesn't want to tell any of his friends or family - and won't say we are dating on faceboook. He always says he is going to marry me someday and acts mostly like he means it. I don't know what to do anymore, but I love him with all of my heart.

You do realize why he wants to keep it a secret, don't you?
.. because it's illegal for him (an adult) to date you (a minor)
I know you said you didn't want comments about age, but it's for your own safety.. and since it's about you, you may not realize how severe it actually is until someone tells you.

Lots of girls your age have crushes on older guys - but actually dating them is another story. I don't know how often you see this guy or what you get up to when you're together, but it's not right and definitely not safe.

There are serious consequences for this, so before you go on about how much you love him, how about you be the more mature one here (because he clearly isn't) and take all of our advice and break it off with him before things get out of hand.

If I were you, I'd find a boy my own age - someone to have fun times with, where it doesn't have to be kept a secret.
Relationships should be valued - they're meant to be happy - not get you in to trouble.

Please listen to all the advice you have received and act upon it right away and please let me know how it all goes in feedback.

so me and m boyfriend have been together for about a year. we dont live together. I'm in college and was using his laptop to catch up on some homework while he was at work when i was typing something into the top and it came up with past history of him looking at hot sex nude videos among other things. im not sure how i should respond. i feel like i should be upset and angry or am i just over reacting?

A lot of boys look at porn - but then again, a lot of girls do too, whether they admit it or not.
Of course it's gonna bother you - he's looking at other women, whether he finds them attractive or not. Either way, I guess it bothers some more than others.
Just talk to him about it - say you were doing your work and that his history came up when you were typing in the search bar and see what he says.
Don't stress about it though - it's just visual and nothing physical. Remember that :)

I have a boyfriend, we've been going out for a year and I've been noticing he's been acting different like lets say one of his friends said something rude shit to me and he was there and he didn't say anything to him, but when someone is talking shit to him, he expects me to defend him. I always do defend him though. There was one time i didn't say anything when this guy said something insulting to him and i expected him to say something back, but no he didn't say anything O.o and he got mad at me I've also notice that he gets angry when i hang out with my brothers whom I'm very close with. I hang with him and his friends and he would pull me aside and tell me that he doesn't like a certain person in our group because he thinks he likes me or some bull shit. Then at the end of the day he is buddy buddy with him. O.o Isn't that what you call a two face? I don't know, like I don't think i should try to make this work. He pretty much went over the line when he gets mad at me for hanging with family? Think i should ditch the guy?

To be honest, I say give him the boot.
You don't need that crap - a relationship is supposed to be loving, trusting, fun, etc.
Yours doesn't sound like many of those things..
He sounds like he could be controlling, controlling can lead to abuse - I'm not trying to say it's certainly gonna happen - it's just a warning to look out for other signs, as you've said he's started to become angry and jealous already.. what will happen next?

do guys hate kissing girls who wear lip gloss

Depends. I know guys who have said how unattractive it is to be covered in sticky gloop when trying to receive a kiss from a girl.. whereas others are just happy to be kissing and don't really care.

hi, me and my boyfriend been dating for fourteen months and we live together. it's just that, sometimes when he sees me texting, he asks me, who's that? you texting your boyfriend? and i told him that's very mean thing to say as u r my boyfriend, and he goes and laugh, says he's only joking. he also says, he doesn't care who i text and he's not bothered but still keeps asking who am i texting. guys, so is he jealous or just winding me up? thank you all.

Possibly..Could just be that he's nosey, though! Sometimes I ask my boyfriend who he's texting, not because I'm jealous, for the simple fact I'm a bit nosey :P Then again, when I'm with my mates, I do the same thing.
Does he act jealous with anything else? Like asking where you are and who you're with a lot?
Have you actually asked him? Next time he says it, say "why do you need to know, you're sounding a little jealous" (in a light hearted, jokey way) and see how he responds.

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