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My boyfriend wants to keep us a secret...
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost four months now, and he wants to keep us a secret from his friends and family. I am 14, he is 18 - please no comments about age, we don't mind the age difference at all - and we live far apart. We text all the time, but barley get to see eachother. He doesn't want to tell any of his friends or family - and won't say we are dating on faceboook. He always says he is going to marry me someday and acts mostly like he means it. I don't know what to do anymore, but I love him with all of my heart.
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well its smart for him not to say your dating cause he can go to jail for it. unless your parents and his are ok with it. he loves you but its true that you are too young to be dating him. im not trying to affend you but the reason why he is hideing it is because you are too young. if you want to stay with him just refraim from letting other people know that your dating.
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You do realize why he wants to keep it a secret, don't you?
.. because it's illegal for him (an adult) to date you (a minor)
I know you said you didn't want comments about age, but it's for your own safety.. and since it's about you, you may not realize how severe it actually is until someone tells you.
Lots of girls your age have crushes on older guys - but actually dating them is another story. I don't know how often you see this guy or what you get up to when you're together, but it's not right and definitely not safe.
There are serious consequences for this, so before you go on about how much you love him, how about you be the more mature one here (because he clearly isn't) and take all of our advice and break it off with him before things get out of hand.
If I were you, I'd find a boy my own age - someone to have fun times with, where it doesn't have to be kept a secret.
Relationships should be valued - they're meant to be happy - not get you in to trouble.
Please listen to all the advice you have received and act upon it right away and please let me know how it all goes in feedback.
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I refuse to beat around the bush because you don't want to hear the damn truth.
This guy is too old for you, It is illegal for someone of age 18 years old to date a minor. It is WRONG, You know it and so doesn't he and this is exactly why he wants nobody finding out. What he is doing is pedophilia and if anyone where to find out that he is trying to date you they could file a police report and he can be arrested on the spot and as much as an asshole I come out too be I hope he does. This guy is too old for you, What the hell is someone 18 years old trying to get with someone who is only 14? You seriously see nothing wrong with that?
It's against the law
If charged he could be looking at: Register as a sex offender, Soliciting of a minor, statutory rape, Unlawful act upon a minor etc. Do you really want to risk it? Seriously, If you really like the guy then do him and yourself a favor by staying the hell away from him. It's sick and disgusting of him to be looking to date a 14 year old
Now stating you live far apart, Do you mean in another state? If you were planning on meeting him he could be looking at kidnapping charges, You as a minor could possibly fall as a runaway and land yourself in juvenile.
It isn't wise of you to proceed a relationship that is clearly not going to work out for either one of you. This doesn't really need to be on your parents behalf as if anyone becomes suspicious all they need to do is report it. Also, I hope you and your boyfriend are well aware that inappropriate text messages are illegal and traceable even if deleted.
Really, You are playing with fire
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I know you said you don't what to hear anything about the age difference. I sorry but I am compelled to say something when I see something that can to irreparable harm to someone.
There is a four year age difference between you two. This means your boyfriend, and adult, is dating a minor. In the eyes of the law he is committing statutory rape. Don't tell me you haven't had sex, as statutory rape has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with the difference in your ages.
Im sure this is his primary reason behind Why keeping your relationship a secret from anyone. Anyone not just your parents can report this to the police and they would have to investigate and charge him. If convicted he would have to register as sex offender for the rest of his life.
You say you live far apart. Do you happen to live in different states. Have you traveled to meet him in the state where he lives. If so this adds about a dozen more new charges he can be charged with among them the Federal charge of violating th Mann Act. Now you are no longer talking to local police and prosecutors. You are talking to the FBI and federal prosecutors.
Do you see what I am trying to tell you. Your boyfriend can be in very serious trouble, do some serious jail time. As for you it is very possible, especially if you lie to any, you can be sighted as a juvenile delinquent and taken out of your home.
Am I trying to scare you, NO. I'm trying to tell you in no uncertain terms that what you are doing is wrong. There is a reason why someone your age should not be dating someone his age. If you were 24 and he 28 I would have no problem. You would be mature enough to make your own decisions. Right now no matter how mature you feel you are, or actually you are. In the eyes off the law you are an immature adolescent teenager that must be protected. This is why these laws exist.
My advise: If you love this young man you will find someone closer to your own age to date.
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If your parents every found out they can file a police report on him because he is dating a underage minor which he could get arrested for. I am only helping you because that's what I like to do and because I don't like to hear or see any one get hurt. I really do with the best for the two of you but hope you also make the right decision.
Hope i helped.
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