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she actually did it
i had this friend ever since freshman year. let's call her A. anyway. A and I are seniors but over the summer and this year our friendship has been fading into almost nothing. It was uncomfortable for me to be around her for some reason. She wanted me to go to Emporia with her so we could be roomates but i didn't really want to roomate with her. i told A I got into Emporia, but she hadn't heard anything from them yet (this is a good college for education, something we both wanted to do) and her reaction was exactly like this "WHAT! UGH!! WTF. i applied way before you did." I thought she'd be happy for me but I guess not. So recently I found out A had been talking to one of our mutual friends, emily, about me. She had told emily how i had gotten into Emporia before I did and how I had gotten into all these colleges and that I was indecisive about where I wanted to go and it made her mad about how indecisive i was. I had asked the Emily what she said and she confirmed that she talked about my indecisiveness about college, but then I came to find out A had told another Emily in our class the same thing. So that was at least two people she was complaining to me about. I'm a little offended that she talked about me behind my back. what should i do about A?
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Dude, why are you even worrying about this? Once everybody graduates from high school, they scatter to the four winds. It is part of life and it is one thing that helps people keep moving forward as they have more varied life experiences. 'A" sounds like someone who is pretty narcissistic and it would be best of you just erased her from your life.
Don't worry about getting tied down at your age. Date around, explore life, live overseas after college for a while, and just keep progressing and growing. That is how you will ultimately find out what you want and how you should approach your life.
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Honestly, I think that you know the answer to your question. You need to talk to her. There is obviously a lot more going on than she's letting on, and if you two were really as close as you say you were than she should be able to talk to you about this.
You two are about to go to college, and it sounds to me as though "A" is being extremely childish. Gossip, talking behind your back...she should have been passed all that in junior high.
You aren't excused either. If you knew that something was going on, you should have gone straight to the source. Relying on hearsay is dangerous. You know how in elementary, we'd all sit in a circle, and someone would whisper something to one person. Then it was everybody's job to pass it on, and 9 times out of 10, the end result was totally screwed? Gossip circles work the exact same way.
She could be acting this way for many reasons. She may feel the relationship going to two different directions and that could make her upset. She could be jealous that you got your answer before she did. Maybe she's upset that she doesn't have as many options as you do. Whatever the case, both of you need to cut out the middle people, and handle this like women.
The conversation will probably be unpleasant, but if you two are REALLY friends...then you can work through it. It's totally understandable that you wouldn't wanna room with her. Part of the college experience is breaking away, and meeting new people. It's a door to all sorts of new and exciting experiences (that sounded really really cliche lol...sorry about that, but it's true). Just because you aren't rooming together, doesn't mean you can't still be friends.
Bottom line...you two need to talk. You need to establish where you are in your friendship, and where your friendship is going. And as painful as it sounds...VERY few high school friendships last forever. I'm not saying yours won't, but it is a possibility that maybe you two are heading in opposite directions.
Whatever the case, I hope you two work things out.
Best of luck!
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Chill out, have some sympathy and be the bigger person.
She's scarred, hurt and worried about her applications to school. It's hard to talk about being scarred, so instead she is talking about your indecisiveness.
It's rude, but unless she makes a habit of that kind of nastiness, it should also be forgivable. She is under a lot of stress and her plans for the next several YEARS of her life, have not played out yet. That is really, really scary. It makes the best of people selfish and annoying.
Yes - it would be better if she could find a better way to deal with her anxiety and stress, but be the bigger person and have some empathy for her unhappiness. Don't pick a fight because she is complaining about you being indecisive, just find other people to talk about your choices with.
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If she is a true friend she would NOT talk about you behind your back and would confront you about the problem. IF she was really worried about your friendship she would talk to you about it. I would sit her down and say something like if you have to tell me something please say it to my face and NOT behind my back...... See what she says and if she is like totally blank and has like nothing to say then she really is not a true friend. I think you should go at least 1-2 weeks without being around each other and if you think your life is better then say hey we are not like we use to be and I don't know what happened. I mean you can still be friends but try to work the situation out. To me it seems like she will go back to her normal self when she gets over the whole college thing but is might take 2 days 2 weeks 2 months and or 2 years I really have no idea.......... I wish i could tell you more but with all of the information that I said hope it helped.
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