Question Posted Saturday November 26 2011, 5:11 pm
I love my boyfriend, but he is such a bigot! He believes blood is blue if de-oxygenated, global warming is a government conspiracy, racism is totally ok, and that dinosaurs never existed. I am a very scientifically inclined person; and I am appalled by his lack of general knowledge. How can I convince him of the truth?!?
Listen, guys generally don't like being shown up by their girlfriends and many will bullshit to the ends of the earth when challenged in a desperate attempt to wear the questioning party down. We are in an era of aggressive ignorance now and you are part of the problem by patronizing it with your affection. Give this cretin the heave ho and find yourself a respectable guy. [ VoiceofReason's advice column | Ask VoiceofReason A Question ]
hitler_the_goat answered Tuesday November 29 2011, 4:58 am: I have to ask- why are you bothering? is this another episode of a woman finding a man and trying to change him into the man of her dreams? some people are set in their ways, like me, for example. I know brown people aren't all out to get me on an intellectual level, but after being blown up so many times and having so many of them try to kill me, its instinctive to reach for my gun when they are near.
If you love him, let this shit slide and stop sweating the small stuff. just make sure he doesn't share his heathen beliefs with the children. ignorance doesn't just pack it's shit and move out like your mother on holiday.
If you can't put up with his backwoods mentality, find somebody who's a little brighter.
-Gunner [ hitler_the_goat's advice column | Ask hitler_the_goat A Question ]
thomasjoyner answered Sunday November 27 2011, 9:34 pm: Honestly, "convincing him of the truth" probably isn't the best idea. If you try to force your own viewpoints and opinions on him, he'll get offended and take a defensive tone with you, which can only cause more problems. Try to slowly and subtly introduce scientific ideology to him, but not forcefully. If he completely rejects your ideas, then you should either try to ignore the problem and focus on other parts of the relationship, or break up with him if you really just can't forget about it. Variances in intelligence levels and opinions can end relationships. It's unfortunate, but sometimes inevitable. Good luck with your situation; hope this helped! [ thomasjoyner's advice column | Ask thomasjoyner A Question ]
Razhie answered Saturday November 26 2011, 6:14 pm: I second Xenolan: You probably can't.
He got through basic schooling without being informed that some of these very basic ideas (blue blood, dinosaurs didn't exist...) being dislodged from his thick skull. It's very likely that he has many years, and many experiences, supported by other people in his life, that have supported these backwards beliefs.
You are asking to how to convince him that he, and many people he respects, have been wrong for years. He's not going to be receptive to that. No one likes to hear that.
I think you need to shift how you are phrasing the problem:
You don't 'disagree' with your boyfriend. You (and the rest of objective reality) are violently opposed to his some of his chosen myths. You mention not only harmless untruths, but also deeply dangerous areas of ignorance that could lead to completely immoral actions.
You can firmly and gently guide him closer to rational thought, but the sad truth is, you are unlikely to make much headway.
So do the best you can. You might offer him fun but interesting books like "Why People Believe Weird Things", which I've certainly given to more reasonable people before to help them see why those ideas are so attractive - and so wrong.
But in the end, although all your work might leave him better off than you found him, I also have to agree with Xenolan on his final point: This is probably not a good match for you in the long term. These beliefs don't change overnight, and sometimes they never change at all. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
Xenolan answered Saturday November 26 2011, 5:59 pm: You probably can't. He didn't arrive at any of his opinions rationally, and so there is no rational argument you can bring which will convince him otherwise.
Of the things on your list of what he believes, only the first one can be easily and definitively disproven; all you have to do is put a few drops of fresh blood into a sealed container and vacuum out all the air. The blood will fail to turn blue. If that doesn't convince him of the falsity of his belief, you might as well give up on all the other items, because none of them can be proven wrong so easily.
Remember that the people you associate with will reflect on you. When people who know your boyfriend see that you're with him, they will assume that you have opinions similar to his. If you don't want that to happen, you may want to reconsider whether this is a guy you want to spend time with. [ Xenolan's advice column | Ask Xenolan A Question ]
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