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Hello,
Can someone explain this when my boyfriend of month said to me, “you had a contrast in your body language that drove me mad and I liked you from day one.” What’s he saying? Is that the good thing he’s saying?? Thank you for the answers! (link)
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Well since he said it made him like you from day one, I'd take it as a good thing.
I would ask him to go more into detail about what he meant when he said you had a contrast in your body language. It was clearly something he liked so I'd just ask him.
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Hi, we’ve been dating for 2 months and he has started to call me baby and darling but he uses baby more often. Also, he says you’re a fascinating girl. What is he trying to say? Is this a positive thing to a good relationship. I mean we have said I love you to each other even though it’s only been 2 months of dating. So, calling baby and using fascinating means he loves me?? We both are in our late 20’s. Cheers everyone! (link)
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I would just ask him. Why do you think I'm fascinating?
Baby and darling are just a pet terms for someone you care about.
Being called fascinating isn't negative. But if you want more information as to why he feels this way, just ask.
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I am an 18 year old girl. I am engaged but when I saw my ex I realized I still have feelings for him. I am getting married in 6 months. I don't have any clue. I told my fiancée but he doesn't understand and he wants me to explain. But I cannot for the life of me figure it out myself. Help. Please.
(link)
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Postpone the wedding and figure out your feelings.
Only you know yourself. We can't tell you why or how you feel this way. You need to do this yourself and it's not fair to your fiance to marry him when you're thinking about someone else.
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My boyfriend and i have been together for 4 months. I’ve known him for over a year though. We met through working together. In the beginning he did everything to get my attention. He’d go to the gym with me, we’d go to the movies, he took me to San Antonio, and our conversations were always super friendly and he cared about everything i had to say, i fell for him because he seemed like a really fun and caring man. here lately though he has done nothing but play video games from the time i get to his house until about 3 in the morning. The only time i get his attention is when he wants to have sex, then right after he goes back to his games. It’s super annoying because he’s on his headset screaming at the game and talking to his friends, so not only do i have to listen to the sound of him shooting at virtual zombies i have to listen to him yelling at the game too. We don’t go on dates anymore. I don’t feel loved at all. Every time i ask to go somewhere he doesn’t want to go or he has no money. I have confronted him about it a few times, but he says I’m too needy of his attention and lashes out, it ends up in nothing but negative emotions when i try talking to him, so i have tried to stay quiet, but i want more time too. There’s been times where i have thought about leaving, but i have already invested so much into him and we work together so i don’t want to make things awkward, but I’m at a loss. I feel
like i should be a priority and when I’m around his attention should mostly be about me. I don’t know what to do without starting a fight. Can someone tell me what they would do in this situation?? (link)
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I'm going to second everything adviceman said.
I know you said you confronted him but was it while he was playing video games?
If it was, then I'd take him aside and just talk. Tell him you understand he wants to unwind from work with video games and you're totally on board but you'd still like to go on dates. You don't need to spend money on every date. I'm sure you can google and come up with inexpensive dates. So he doesn't need to keep using those excuses.
If this doesn't work, I'd take a step back. Wait for him to call you. If he asks you to come over, ask what you guys have planned for the day. If he has nothing but chill or relax at home, or sex, just say you're doing something else.
If this keeps happening, he'll get the hint.
It might be rough on you because I'm sure you want to spend time with him. So start making plans with friends and doing things to keep yourself busy.
In the end, if he doesn't put in effort, don't worry about feeling awkward at work. You need to do what's best for you.
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Me and this guy have been talking and hanging out fora few months months. I've told him about my depression and he's been really understanding and supportive, but I was wondering if I should tell him about me hurting myself. Would it be a good/bad idea? Should I trust telling him that? What if he reacts in a bad way?
(I am taking mood stabilizers and antidepressants PLUS going to therapy. I don't need any advice or help on dealing with self harm, but I appreciate the concern.)
Thanks. (link)
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If it's in the past, I'd leave it there.
If not, he should need to find out eventually. Mostly because not everyone will want to date someone who currently harms themselves. It would be better to find out sooner or later.
But I would wait until you guys are beginning to get a little more serious. If you guys have just been talking and hanging out, I would wait.
I also agree with the other columnist. I would talk to your therapist. See what their opinion on this would be.
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Hi ya,
We were having a ciggie outside after a lunch. It was windy and chilly and he asks are you cold coz he could see me saying I'm cold. I was standing few feet away from him and smoking and he would say, why are you standing that far, stay closer to me. Why don't you come closer here to me so that you feel warmer I said no you wish. We'd both burst into laugh, he would say to me you're bossy. We have been friends for a months and we have a boyfriend and girlfriend. I do feel like he likes me but then he could be joking because we do joke a lot. Any thoughts? Thanks (link)
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It doesn't seem like it. I mean joking can be flirting but it doesn't have to be.
To me, since you both are in a relationship it just seems innocent. I wouldn't think too much into it.
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I broke up with my boyfriend of two years this past beginning of summer though we were together my sophomore, junior, and senior year with a small breakup in between. When we broke up I handled it very maturely and nicely - more than I should have been but I wanted to leave it on good terms because I genuinely care about him as a person and I told him that and explained everything for why I felt as I did. The main reason I did this was because I didn't want to leave something out in this way or handle it with anger that would make me want to reach out and get "closure." I've already realized that's pointless and stupid. So we talked it through and he was hysterical and so upset but I still went through with it because I know he's not right for me and he didn't treat me right and I deserve better. We havent seen each other since amazingly even though we live in the same town very close and go to school together. I reached out to him once for his bday which was four and half months later just to say happy birthday and hope youre doing well. Since then I hadn't talked to him and I could tell from his response that he missed me and still cared. That was the first and only time I've ever reached out to him because I went cold turkey which I don't regret. I heard from him two months later for Christmas which I was very surprised about and then the following month for my birthday which I woke up to a text from him. He repeatedly said hope your doing well, i'll always be here if you need me, hopefully i'll speak to you again, i'll see you when I see you, and if you ever need to talk and I know him too well that this is his way of saying I miss you and I want you back but is too scared to say it because I dumped him. Not that any of this matters because I do NOT want to get back with him at all i've moved and am happy. But I wonder is it so weird to ask to meet up for coffee and just chat? I mean he was a big part of my life for so long and my best friend. Not about the past or anything I dont need any answers about anything Ive come to terms with it all but I still genuinely care about him as a person. I dont want to be friends cause I know that would give him the wrong impression. Is it unrealistic to catch up with an ex? I've been having this thought of catching up just for the hell of it for like ever. Should I just forget about it? I know he would say yes but im not sure if it would do more harm than good... I dont love him anymore but I still care and I know he does too maybe more than me. Is it dumb to ask to meet up for coffee after so long or no? (link)
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I would say no, I wouldn't go catch up with him.
I'm all for catching up with an ex, but only if there are no feelings involved. And obviously, you don't want to date him, but you said he still misses you. So until you know he doesn't want to be with you, I wouldn't meet up with him.
Once he is over you, you can totally catch up and possibly be friends. But as for now, I don't think it would be any good for him.
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I'll try to make this short. Ive been dating this guy for 4 months now and things have been great. We get along well, shares similar interests, and don't have too many disagreements. He's met my parents and I've met his (i feel as if we could have waited on this but he was so persistent about it) and I often spend time around him and his friends vice versa. The problem is that although we do everything any normal 20 something couple would do, he still will not consider us to be boyfriend and girlfriend. He said that he wants a relationship with me but wanted to wait it out. At first I was okay with this, but I increasingly grew to be more annoyed because it didn't really make sense to me. Especially given all of the things I have done for him that most girls wouldn't do unless the relationship had some seriousness to it. Either way I continued to put my own feelings to the back burner and just accepted that he'll come around. However I recently I found out that he had been on the dating app Tinder just casually checking out girls. I established that he hadn't actually met up with anyone nor took a number, but I was hurt because we both agreed to only seeing each other. With this I told him I was done and that I couldn't handle this situationship anymore and that these actions showed the real reason as to why he didn't want to be exclusive. After some time he came to me saying he didn't want to lose me and that if I gave him until May ( 1.5 months from now) that he'd be ready for us to take it to the next level. I agreed with this because I love him (he tells me he loves me daily) and don't want to lose him, but I struggle with whether or not I should continue to wait. Very confused. (link)
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I relate to this completely.
I would stick it out until May like you said you would. If he doesn't come around, just let things go.
For awhile I was in the same situation. We'd act like a couple and was intimate and met each others parents and spent so much time together. But he didn't want to make it official. I thought it'd be fine, thought he'd come around eventually so I just decided to be content with what we had because I loved him and didn't want to lose him.
But a girl could only do that for so long, at least I couldn't. I told him I needed all or nothing. He said he was disappointed but he understood. So I did what I said I would, I started dating other people. He started talking to me again and he told me he wanted a relationship with me. So we worked things out.
So I would say stick with May, if he doesn't come around, don't wait for him and move on. If he really wants you, he had a chance and he'll realize it. If not, you know he wasn't the right guy for you.
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so i was in a long distance relation but we broke up after 3 months and i tried to fix the problem but she just wouldn't even try and think about it and i tried texting her and she was reading those texts but not replying to any of them and she'd just say "idk what to say"
and after a while she said that i "spam" her with texts but all i sent was 3 texts telling how i feel about her and she called it "spam" and it hurt me a lot and so i blocked her on social media and also in the multiplayer game that we met ! . it's really hard for me to give up on her and i just love her a lot and at this point i'm just hurt a lot and thinking about her MOST of the time and idk what to do....
i'm thinking of reconnecting with her (i know i'm dumb but i just love her a lot) and i don't know whether this is the right thing to do....
i'm thinking of texting her in the game we met
so yea as i said before i'm just confused and don't know what to do that's why i'm asking for your help
Thank you for taking your time in reading this
(link)
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All break ups are tough no matter how it ended.
To me, it doesn't sound like she's as invested as you are. She didn't try to help fix the problems in your relationship and wouldn't reply to your messages.
It sucks loving someone who isn't returning your feelings. My advice would be to move on.
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25/f. I have been dating a guy for about 2 years and we have had a wonderful, beautiful relationship. Yesterday he asked me for a loan and it really really hurt me. I have never had a single friend in my whole life... up until him, the only people who were ever willing to spend time and get to know me were paid to do so. (Teachers, therapists, etc) I am quite well-off, my parents give me full financial support and folks I know have frequently asked me for money for this and that. It always makes me feel so worthless, like I'm an ATM machine or something. I really hoped that Eric would be different and it just makes me really really sad and disappointed. Should I just leave him now?
(link)
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I guess I understand why you're so panicked over this. Since you've had a lot of people ask you for money.
I've had to borrow money from my boyfriend. Even my dad had to borrow money from him. He lost his job and lost my mom so tough times come.
I guess it depends on what he's asking a loan for? School, car problems, ect..then I don't see a problem with it if you guys are exclusive and you trust him. You can even go with what the other adviser said, with a signing a loan document.
This wouldn't be something to just up and leave someone without knowing the details.
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A friend has called me 'my love' recently over the holiday conversation. Is it OK for him to call me that? He's mate though. An honest thoughts please (link)
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Sure. If he doesn't have feelings for you it can just be as friends. Don't over think things. If it bothers you, just go talk to him about it.
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I'm a 20 year old female. My boyfriend got super drunk last night and texted me saying his ex has a nicer butt and prettier face. I broke up with him because I feel like drunk words are sober thoughts. He's begging for me back now and saying he'll never forgive himself even told me he loves me. We've been seeing each other for 5 months. Should I forgive him or should I let him go right now that I'm still early in the relationship? (link)
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This one is completely up to you.
You know this guy better than we do. If he usually says stupid things when he drinks, you might be better off or else he might do things like this more often. But if this is a rare thing, maybe you should forgive him.
But like I said, completely up to you. Also depending on whether you'd be able to move past it.
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I am 23 and have never been in a relationship or had sex, but I’ve done everything leading up to sex, including with the person I’m currently involved with. We met online and have known each other for almost a month. I am extremely nervous about where this may or may not be headed, as I have no experience with relationships. We’ve done sexual things on almost every date, which I do enjoy very much. One day, he spent hours fingering me to orgasm and it was great. I’m really surprised that even happened. I think sex is very close to happening and its making me extremely nervous. Up until now, I didn’t think I wanted to be in love to lose my virginity. Now I’m having second thoughts about that. I think penetration with him has made me feel incredibly vulnerable and I’ve decided I want an emotional connection with someone before having sex. The thing is, I can’t tell if I have those meaningful feelings for him. The whole situation is starting to give me crippling anxiety. Does this anxiety mean there is lack of a meaningful connection between us? Or am I just extremely nervous and need to get over my nerves? He’s a good person and treats me better than anyone I’ve ever dated. I want to give him a chance. At the same time, I don’t get the kind of mental stimulation I do with my platonic relationships. So far, it’s a very touchy feely type of relationship and that is very new for me. It’s scaring the hell out of me. I’m just feeling somewhat pressured and rushed. Is this good or bad? Is it my fault I’m feeling this way? I’m also very scared of losing my identity. I have a busy life and lots of things that are important to me. He doesn’t seem to fit into my life, but maybe this is a sign I need to find a new center? What are your thoughts? (link)
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I think you should just be honest with him about how you're feeling. I mean if you can't be honest with him, this relationship won't go anywhere.
I think since this would be your first time, it's a scary thing because it's new. It's fine that you feel like you want to have an emotional connection with that person, it's normal.
If you feel pressured or rushed, slow down and take your time. This isn't something that needs to happen right away and it's not something you want to regret, especially for your first time.
So just talk to him, I'm sure he'll be understanding.
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I'm 25 my boyfriend is 23. We have officially been dating for a month now. I've never been the touchy feely kind of person. My ex boyfriend would never hold my hand, kiss me in front of others or anything like that. barely would hug me. So i was kind of used to no affection.
Well now my current boyfriend always wants to be touching me. If we're watching tv he always wants to hold my hand or lay on me. I feel a little smothered. Sometimes I back off a little and he's like "youre mean" I dont know how to approach this. I do like him - I like kissing him. But sometimes the touching and constant contact can be too much. He knows I'm not really like that - I've told him before. But if hes touching me or something he's like you never touch me or why dont you touch me more.
Can someone help me with this situation? (link)
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I'm the exact same way.
I've been dating my boyfriend for about 2 months now. I didn't mind holding hands but I hated when we would walk and he'd put his arms around me. It just always felt like constant contact. Or when we're out and at a store, he'd stop and pull me towards him and I really wasn't into it.
I thought maybe it would be something I'd have to get used to but I think he could tell that I wasn't feeling it so he asked me about it and then I told him the truth about how I'm just not a touchy person. So that would be my advice. I told him if it's something that he doesn't like, or that he needs someone who needs to be more touchy feely then I understood. But he did say he's fine with it.
So if it comes up again, let him know that you're just not a touchy person. You don't mind a little but not a whole lot. I'd let him know that if he needs someone who likes a lot of cuddling and all that, then this might not work out.
The other advisers seem to go a little out there with the psychological things or that you don't really like him.
So communication would be the best for this. My boyfriend understood and it's not that we don't touch at all, it's just not a constant thing.
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Me and my ex broke up twice and then last year april we started speaking again almost everyday and hanging out once or twice on a monthly basis and yes we do have sex but recently he just stopped speaking to me and i dont know why,sometimes he would just text me randomly asking how iv been and if im alive eventhou i text hm so much he would rhow up unexpectedly...but this past week ive been texting him alost everyday but he just dont want to reply back to me i even phoned hm but he didnt answer..a few weeks ago when i saw him he told me he likes being around me he just dnt like how clingy iv gotten cause his not keen on clingy...He ignores me like i dont exist anymore and i dont know what i did wrong and i dont know what to do..any advice? iv decided to stay away from him and make myself vanish from him like he never knew me..I dont mean to seem clingy and i dont mean to bombard him with all those texts everyday,i just want to speak to him...do u think his silence and ignoring me is his way of saying leave hm alone and move on,im done and bored of you cause you are clingy..do you think he will show up again and speak to me again wheneva..today i msgd him saying im sorry for always texting hm so much i dnt mean to im just ona other trip and i feel really bad and stuff and i hope hes not mad or anythng..i thought he wouldv replied but he just read it so now i havent heard from him for a week now..isit my fault that he dnt wana speak to me anymore cause i seem clingy lately and iv pushed hm away cause its a turn off...im just worried cause this is the longest he hapnt spoken to me and i dnt knw why im being so ignored..i dont knw what to do anymore,.if i distant myslf and stop texting him do u think he wil show may..im so confused (link)
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He's ignoring you because he doesn't like you texting him every day. You still have feelings for him, that's why you want to talk to him every day. He doesn't feel the same way, so he doesn't feel that need that you've been feeling so that's why he doesn't text you.
In the end you guys just don't feel the same about you. He's not interested in dating you anymore, he doesn't feel that need to talk to you all the time like you feel about him.
He may show up again and start talking to you, because of the sex, but that's about it. Hopefully by then you move on and won't want to reply to him.
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I'm in my last year in high school and there's this teacher I've had for 3 years who I've had the craziest crush on since the beginning. We get along great, we always talk and laugh together and we've had a few deeper conversations. Unless if he's stupid, I'm sure he knows I like him, I always talk flirty, and visit him all the time, but I don't think he minds because I know he likes me (as a person). But I'm graduating and will probably never see him again, and even though I know nothing will happen (he's married), I really want to tell him I like him! I just know I'll regret it forever if I don't and really whats the harm? I tell him, embarrass myself a little, and never see him again. But how should I tell him? I just want the perfect thing to say. Anyone have any advice or opinions?
And no, I'm not trying to break up a marriage or do anything illegal, it's totally innocent. (link)
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I second everyone else in not telling him. Sure, there's no harm to you. But it will put him in an uncomfortable situation.
He may think that he has been letting students too close, when he's probably not. I'm positive he doesn't want students to have crushes on him and he wants to impact and teach these kids. So if you say something, he might change the way he interacts with students.
I believe you when you say it's completely innocent and you don't want to break up the marriage or do anything illegal, but this could definitely make a teacher paranoid.
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should i have hope if i like this boy and hes a capricorn and im a pisces but he's dating this girl that is a libra but for right now they have a long distance relationship because he has to live in new york for a year But I think he likes me too because of the way he looks at me I'm just to coward to ask and I really need to kno if I should have hope or just leave well enough alone I can't take missing him anymore (link)
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Since he's dating another girl, I'd say just leave it alone. You don't want to get involved in someone else's relationship.
If he becomes single, then I say go for it.
You just don't want to go make things complicated and ruin someones happiness.
So for now, I'd just move on.
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Hi... I was in a long distance relationship... After texting and calling for what seemed like forever,a few years we saw each other...... We did this week... And we had a long talk.
And he broke up with me.. Saying we couldn't be together. That he couldn't give me 110% and that further down the road he would cheat on me. And to not wait for him anymore. And I was wonderful and all that crap....
Now,here is the confusing part..
He said right after 'don't wait for me' that he isn't 100% giving up on him and I... Us... Later he went on to say... All I needed to do was move out here (in the bay area) and get a part time job..
I asked him if he could do better than me.... He said no..
He said he didn't want to break up with me... He didn't want to do this... He loves me... And I saw it in his eyes that he didn't want to hurt me or break my heart.... His body language was so uncomfortable... And his eyes had some held back tears going on....
I've left messages... He hasn't responded... But he keeps viewing my Snapchat..
Also,he said he was going to pray for me and to text him when I got home... And he wanted to keep talking and stay in touch... Which obviously he has not...
Another thing.. I looked straight in his eyes... And I asked him... Is there a battle going on inside of you still even though you made a choice? He responded with yes..... I told him,that if he was still battling with a desicion after he made a choice,that it was the wrong one...
Advice please,what do I do now? Did he make the right choice? Even though he's still deciding in heart what do even though he made a choice? What is going on?? Thanks for the advice in advanced (link)
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Like the other adviser said, long distance relationships are really hard and you really have to work on them.
He's definitely struggling with the break up. I think he made the right decision for him. For whatever reasons he has, he's making the right one for himself. Because I think if has any doubts about your relationship, it's not fair to stay with you. I believe you do deserve 110% in the relationship and he doesn't believe he can give you that.
I believe the reason he's not answering your texts is so that it's easier for him to move on. Because if you guys keep talking, it'll make it ten times harder on both of you.
So in the end, you can't control what he feels or what he does. You can only control what you do from here on out. So since he made his decision, I think you should try to move on. It will be hard but it's the best thing to do in this situation.
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Hey so my girlfriend and I are both in a long distance relationship for two months now, we're 14. The problem is, she'll sometimes have bad mood swings and get really mad at people for no reason. She's sick right now too, so that's not helping much. I was just wondering is there anything I can say to help her? I love her and I don't want anything to happen to her because of these mood swings
thanks (link)
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She's young so mood swings will happen a lot cause she's still going through puberty. Hormones..
But I agree with the other adviser. Don't tell her to calm down or that she's over reacting. That won't end well.
I think the best thing to do is be there for her. Tell her you love her and that you're there for her if she needs you. To talk, to listen.
If you wanna be sweet, you can send her a care package since she's sick. Like some tissues, cough drops, a little teddy bear, a note, ect. You can be creative.
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20/f
I have been dating this really sweet guy for a few months. But my mom won't accept him cause she thinks I deserve better. In her head she thinks I'm something special just because I'm pretty,quite intelligent and study medicine. He may not go to college,but he is hardworking and he really cares about me. The main reason she won't accept him is that he wears hearing aid,which to her makes him disabled. I honestly couldn't care less about that,just because he lost his hearing due to an accident doesn't make him a bad person. Also she minds because he is from a village and I'm from a city. She thinks he wants to take me away from them and trap me as a housewife. In short,she demonizes him because of some prejudice and she has never even met him. I tried talking some sense into her but she sticks to her opinion. (link)
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I think you need to stop trying to get your moms approval. You won't be able to change her opinion because she has these opinions for no reason and she is being unreasonable.
She's never met him and is making all these assumptions and doesn't trust your judgement.
I'd just let all this go and enjoy your relationship.
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