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How to tell someone you like them
I'm in my last year in high school and there's this teacher I've had for 3 years who I've had the craziest crush on since the beginning. We get along great, we always talk and laugh together and we've had a few deeper conversations. Unless if he's stupid, I'm sure he knows I like him, I always talk flirty, and visit him all the time, but I don't think he minds because I know he likes me (as a person). But I'm graduating and will probably never see him again, and even though I know nothing will happen (he's married), I really want to tell him I like him! I just know I'll regret it forever if I don't and really whats the harm? I tell him, embarrass myself a little, and never see him again. But how should I tell him? I just want the perfect thing to say. Anyone have any advice or opinions?
And no, I'm not trying to break up a marriage or do anything illegal, it's totally innocent.
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I second everyone else in not telling him. Sure, there's no harm to you. But it will put him in an uncomfortable situation.
He may think that he has been letting students too close, when he's probably not. I'm positive he doesn't want students to have crushes on him and he wants to impact and teach these kids. So if you say something, he might change the way he interacts with students.
I believe you when you say it's completely innocent and you don't want to break up the marriage or do anything illegal, but this could definitely make a teacher paranoid.
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To a certain extent I agree with Razhie though there is away to tell him you like him without embarrassing him or you.
If you do not already have your high school year book you should be receiving it shortly. It is well within the realm of decorum to ask your favorite teachers to sign your year book.
You could and should ask him to sign your year book and when you do you can say something like, "Mr. _____ I have really enjoyed your classes and the time you have taken to talk with me and help me become the person who will be graduating soon." If your going on to college you can add; "I hope I am lucky enough to find a teacher in College like you who will be there to help me through college as you have guided me through high school. Thank you.
What this says is not so much that you have had a crush on him, he may realize this anyway. You are saying that he is a great teacher and has been a mentor to you during high school something you will always remember him for. The words are not there though if he is the great teacher you say he is he will understand what you are saying in the politically correct manor.
We all have teachers we formed attachments to. I had a shop teacher I grew very close to. While I was in school we could only have a student teacher relationship. Once I graduated he invited me to his home to meet his wife and children. The summer before I left for the Military I worked with him in his part-time home renovation business. While I was in the Military the letters from home and the letters from him and his wife were always something to brighten my day.
Of course we were two guys that from a student teacher relationship a friendship grew after graduation. As long as you understand that nothing more than a friendship can be had for a relationship with him and you are no threat to his marriage. Then I see no reason why you cannot tell him how much you have enjoyed his teaching and mentoring during your high school years. Yes if it comes up from him that this is all it can be you tell him you never expected more than his mentoring and friendship.
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Even if you really don't mean anything by it, I'm still going to advise against doing this.
You see, it's a bit mean. You put him in a difficult, uncomfortable position, where he may question his abilities as a teacher, or feel ashamed of his behaviour when he has no need too. Depending on what you say, he may even feel frightened for his job.
No matter how nice and reasonable you are, you are likely to cause him anxiety and fear - for no reason. There is no reason to worry him like that, or give him those doubts and fears. All the good you both can have from this friendship you've already had! To admit your romantic feelings for him will put a sour note on that, not a positive one.
If you want to reach out to him, just thank him for his friendship and offer your admiration for him a person. Don't bring flirting or crushes or romantic feelings into it. The right thing to say at this moment is to thank him for being a great teacher and great friend, and to let him know he's been a positive factor in your life. That is what you've actually shared. The crush is something in your head that'll pass and you can think of warmly in years to come. It's not a thing he can address or fix or even benefits from knowing about.
Thank him for who he is and what he's done - don't thank him because of your feelings for him.
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