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HEY!! U can call me Nikki Im from that little water state. Im fifteen and a sophmore. I can connect with most teens and their problems but also i think older people need to be open to advice from younger minds as well..so give us a chance. =] I like helping people and giving advice is the one the best ways to help. Ask me anything, i may not always have an answer but ill try. I put in thought and time on the question being asked, something id like people to also do for me. So tell me little pieces of your life and ill see if i can try and put them back together. ;]
advice
is 11 and a half to young to kiss but that being all no nothing else at all maybe making out or what ever but like no sex, fingering etc
yeah i think 11 is too young. an 11 year old should focus on being 11. they have plenty of time to do that and more in their lifetime. A kiss leads to more than a kiss and more than a kiss leads to alot more. Emotionally and mentally 11 year olds are not ready for all that.
So I'm the type of person that says "I love you" a lot. Like, my family's as dysfunctional as can be, but I always make sure to say it before I leave the house or hang up the phone. I say it to my best of friends whenever I say "bye," and whenever even an acquaintance makes me laugh or does something nice for me, I'm always like, "holy crap, I love you," and I mean it.
I met this guy in late September and we went on our first date less than two weeks after meeting. Because we talked nearly nonstop over text and IM, we were super, super comfortable with each other by the second date. We saw each other unofficially for four weeks and have been officially dating for nearly three weeks. This is my first serious relationship (I'm 16) though he's had a few girlfriends before me (he's 18).
I'm not one to overcomplicate love (obviously). You don't have to love everything about a person to love them. This guy is the sweetest-- he compliments me constantly, isn't afraid of PDA (romantic kisses goodbye, not makeout sessions), would do anything for me, and would never want to intentionally hurt me. He's not "in it to hit it" either-- he knows I'm abstaining until marriage and he's fine with that, and we didn't even kiss until the third date.
What I'm saying is, I know I love him, but is there a clear difference in the love you feel inside when loving someone as a person and loving someone romantically? He makes me happy, and I want to spend every second talking to him and just being with him. And I could not STAND to see him with another girl. But what qualifies love to be romantic rather than loving someone as a person? Have I already crossed it?
Also, how soon is "too soon" to say it? I know his family says it a lot too, and he says it to his family in front of me, so I know he's not uncomfortable saying it. But I don't want to freak him out.
Any advice whatsoever appreciated, or past experiences :) Thanks so much!
DONT SAY IT. ive heard guys get really freaked out by that stuff. theyll say whoa this girl just told me she loved me and thats crazy. or they will say it back to their girlfriend and then youll hear them saying yeah i tell my girl i love her but i dont really love her, i just tell her that to make her happy. Its only been 3 weeks. say it when its been like a year.. so it doesnt creep him out.
14/f
i've never had a boyfriend
(so ive never kissed anyone or done anything like that)
i have commitment issues...as in im really scared of a realtionship. i REALLY dont know what to do about it...i mean ill be SO excited because i know that a certain guy likes me, and i get really happy when there talking to me (ive been asked out enough to recognize the "asking out" conversation...) and then they ask me out....and my heart skips a beat and i tell them what i always say: maybe...i have to think about it. and then end up saying no or just letting it fade away without ever giving them an answer
it really kills me because i would do anything for a boyfriend...but apparently i just cant handle the commitment...i like the freedom im flirting with a bunch of guys without worrying about cheating.
i guess subconsciously i sort of believe once im in a relationship thered be NO way out. also, since im a perfectionist, i notice little flaws in the boys that ask me out, which does NOT work for me
i know i probably sound incredibly shallow and probably bipolar but i cant really help it...its just very confusing and i dont know how to get over my fears.
thanks for any help you have :)
next time someone asks, and your about to say no, just stop yourself and say yes. you might wind up really liking the guy and be with him for a long time, or you guys could hang out like twice and you decide you dont like him that much, so end it. really relationships as a teen arent serious so you can just end it and get in a new one and do that like ten times and its not serious.
16/m
Well there is this girl who is my best friend, and she has this boyfriend who she's not so crazy about. Anyway, I hate the fact that she's dating this guy, and I think I would feel the same way about any guy who she dated. I want to se her happy even if that means her dating some guy, but it absolutely tears me appart seeing her enjoy being with a guy that isn't me. I just have no idea how to handle any of this, and just avoiding the situation and not having her in my life would be horrible because she is so nice and fun to be with. Any ideas??
if she becomes single then tell her how you feel, that you like her and are interested in being more than just friends but will accept it if she just wants to be friends. but dont tell her now or while shes in any relationship because its bad to interfere and you'll mess with her head. but for right now you have to just sit back and possibly find someone else..
This summer I spent a month with my brothers friend on vacation, he came along with my family. I had already liked this boy for quite some time and naturally being with him for so long caused me to want him even more. Well the last week of the vacation we hooked up, I mean we got up to third base and all and I usually dont see myself as that kind of person doing the whole hook up thing I just feel kind of dirty I guess. Well about a week after we got back he asked me out and told me that he couldnt stop thinking about me and I was the happiest girl in the world. Now we've been going out for a month and a half and I've been super happy but he keeps pressuring me to...go back to third base and I know we've had the physical aspect of a relationship familiarized before but I cant help thinking that 1. its too soon in our relationship to get so hot and heavy, 2. he might just want me because I'll give him physical attention and he might not like me as I like him so much and 3. since he already has gotten me to go to third base with him he going to expect it all the time. Anways I'm just really confused, Im 16 and I feel like maybe I'm too young? I'm not sure, any advice or experience that you may have with this would be really helpful! Thank you so much!
well if u realli dont want to then dont. but why not? you like him, he likes you, im assuming you find him attractive.. just do it. you only live once. i like to think of it like this.. what if you never got to see him ever again..wouldnt u want to kiss him one more time.
Like Taylor Swift says "I got tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever coming along...my faith in you was fading"
well anyway my question i guess is how many of you out there still have faith in love... and i guess what are some of your theories on finding it, keeping it, and losing it. feel free to rant and leave long philosophical answers... i wanna hear it
Well im young so ill give you my young answer lol
I have faith in love. but i dont know how a person could know they are in love [probably since i havent been]. I dont believe in necesarily finding love, i think it just comes to you. Keeping love is a good thing if you know its about to go away and your about to lose it. But i wouldnt say hold on to it to the point where your practically killing yourself to do so. Love is a two way street so I think if that person isnt willing to meet you half way than that love is worth losing. I think that some people never lose love for certain people. You might never see them again but they always have this special spot in your heart. I have not been in love but i have felt like my heart was broken. and even after that, this person still remains in my heart and i know im theirs and i believe that some people cant help but come back together so dont lose faith. I remember i felt like i hated this person and then someone told me that hate is like a form of love. I then realized that I must have some feelings for this person. They consume much of thoughts even though they were negative thoughts, so much of me was focused on them and people dont spend so much time tihnking about someone they dont care for. Im not in love with this guy but I do love him. Love in all forms [family, friend, and romantic love] is pain and happiness. There should be a word that means pain and happiness at the same time.. oh but then again couldnt that word be "love".
15/f
this is a VERY long story, but im gonna try to lay this out as short as possible and please, im desperate here, you have NO clue what i've been through these past few months, and i need all the help i can get..
last year i met a REALLY sensative guy. he was 16, about to be 17, and i was 14.. he was soooo shy, hes VERY insecure. when we first started dating, all he said to me was how i saved him and pulled him out of his misery because he has had no luck with relationships and was treated like shit by girls his whole life. hes not even that cute and popular, and i have a waaay higher social status in my grade/ school then he does in his grade.. but ive been known to have wierd taste and i can look beyond looks and things like that very easily. i think when we first started dating him i was just excited over the fact that he had a car and he was a junior and i was only a freshmen.. but i actually did end up falling in love with him. and he was COMPLETELY in love with me. we lost our virginities to eachother and ill tell you, im smart, and not at all a bit naiive.. i knew this kid loved me. & we did NOT have a sex based relationship whatsoever.. we became eachothers best friends. both of us lost all of our other friends because we were only with eachother 24-7. he called my mom 'mom' and i did the same with his mom.. we were incredibly close.. and sense he was older, i felt so comftorbal and secure with him, and i went to him with all my problems, and he would help me.. ive been suffering from depression for years and me and my mother never had a good relationship, and my father left me, and i was molested as a baby.. but when i was with him, he made me feel so comftorbal. we told eachother EVERYTHING. and i was postive he was there to stay. he promised me forever every single day. we dated for a year. i messed it up, biggest mistake of my entire life.. he started getting very annoying and up my ass. you know when youre in a bad mood and you just want to be left alone? well he would never leave me alone. he'd be like 'its okay babe i love you' bla bla. all mushy, when i just want to be mad!. i tried talking to him about this many times and all he could say was im sorry i just love you soooo much i cant help it.. all my friends called him whipped cream and everything.. it was BAD. but anyways, one night i was out with my friends the day before a cheer competition, and my ex was there.. and somewhere along the lines, we kissed.. my boyfriends friend was there and told him that if i didnt tell him, he was going to.. i knew he wasnt going to break up with me or anything.. so i told him.. but the thing is.. i think i was looking for a fight with him because our relationship was so boring. when i told him, it pissed me off how he was crying instead of being mad, yelling at me. so i started saying things to make him mad.. i said TERRIBLE things. like i was gonna keep cheating on him because he basically lets me, and how i know i take advantage of him because he trusts me so much but i shouldnt.. and he was like well maybe i have to break up with you then.. and he was like i really dont want to. and i was like fine just do it idont care! yelling at him and stuff.. and then he did. i was thinking we would get back together in a couple weeks.. so after we broke up, we still talked because we obv. still loved eachother and everything. we acted like we were going out, and we even 'hooked up' a few times.. but when he asked me back out, i kept saying no, i wasnt ready.. because the relationship was SOOO akward after we broke up.. he was acting so different. and i knew why. it was because i broke his heart. and i did, bad. so one day after we hooked up, my friend told me that her brother saw my 'boyfriend, x-boyfriend, whatever u wanna call him' at a store.. and he was saying how he was done with me and he was trying to get with this new girl 'leesh'.. i was FURIOUS. i called him up screaming at him asking for all my stuff back and it was over for good and everything. but really, i wanted an appology from him, not my stuff back. btw, i was very remorsful for cheating on him and saying what i said to him, i mustve appologized a million times.. but he didnt say anything, he justgave me all my stuff back and acted like it was nothing.. and then i kept trying to get him back, but he kept rejecting me. i was litterally down on my knees for this kid. until one day i found out he had a girlfriend. not just some girl.. the girl who dates ALL the boys that i date after me.. but thats a whole nother story.. anyways, i was devistated. i couldnt eat, i couldnt talk, i couldnt sleep, i couldnt go to school,, nothing. all i did was cry and cry and cry and cry. i tried talking to him seeing if we could be friends and stuff, but he hates me now. if i send him one text, he shuts his phone off. he goes all different ways in the halls so i dont have to see him in school, he wont even look my way. he saw me practically drown in my own tears and he didnt even care. i wrote him long long letters, i tried everything i could just to be able to talk to him when i need to, so i wouldnt be so hurt about the situation.. now, i have two weeks left of school and im failing 4 classes.. and im an honors student. i DONT fail. its not me. and im grounded because of it, so i cant even go out and try to forget it. its been sense thhe end of february... and still,all i can think about is killing myself.. people say they are heart broken.. but this gives heart broken a new definition. there is litterally a hole in my chest. and i keep getting maaaassive anxiety attacks in class, and i do go to counceling wich is sort of helpful but we mostly talk about my parents.. three days ago, she broke up with him. and he was very upset from what i heard.. he hasnt tried talking to me or anything but i dont know what to do, i want to talk to him but he'll just ignore me.. i love this kid and care about him with my life. today i thought i was going to DIE. it was the last day of school for the seniors. the last time ill EVER see him again. the last time ill ever get to look for him i the halls so i can walk by him.. that was the only time i ever got to see him, and today was my last day. and when i walked by him for the very last time of my life today, he didnt even look at me. it was so painful. he couldnt even have the heart to say bye to me considering im his first love and helll never see me again. i havent been able to stop crying sense i last saw him. i dont even know what to do with my life any more. someone PLEEEEEASE tell me what to do to get him back. ANNYTHING. I AM DESPERATE FOR HELP. we had such a good relationship till i cheated and we Never ever had one fight. but you dont even understand. this kid wouldnt even look at any other girls, deleted all the girls in his phone book, couldnt go an hour without texting me just saying he loved me, couldnt go a day withouth seeing me, brought me flowers randomly, did EVERYTHING for me. how can you love someone so much and go through everything we've been through together, and then just completely shut them out of your life?
Im not even sure what to say. Your whole situation is just sad. I cant say I completely understand but I can sort of relate. Many people can say its time to let go. And I wanted to say the same thing to you but I understand that it is hard to let go and sometimes you feel like you just cant and even tell yourself its impossible. How do you let go? I honestly dont know. I think its a process of time and self-thinking. You really need to concentrate on yourself rather than his life and his girlfriends and graduation. thinking of how to make yourself feel better does not involve him because if you guys were to ever get back together and break up again, you might wind up worse than now. So now is the time to get rid of anything reminding you of him, wether that be songs in your ipod, cards, notes, gifts and more. Keeping the memory of him alive only makes the love you have for him seem stronger. And shutting someone out of your life that you once loved..it seems like 'how could he do that' but sometimes that is just the way people handle things. Shutting someone out is a way of saying I care about you, but i need to care about myself more right now. Shutting him out is the way to go. You will definitely experience love again because you are only 15 right now and have so many wonderful years to come. Enjoy your youth and try to stay away from adult problems. I think love is even harder for young people like us to handle. We have these raging hormones and its easier for us to not think rationally. Just always love yourself more than anyone else. If you love yourself first than you realize in some situations its better to take care of yourself and let the other person take care of themself. If you need anyone to talk to I am so gladly here for you. So dont be a stranger. -peachykeen
Now I know that everyone has their own personal preferencese when it comes to dating. My question though is, is there something wrong with a 17 year old guy going out with a 15 year old girl? I mean do you see anything wrong with it? I know i'm going to get many different answers and that's what i'm hoping for. There's just this guy that I really like, but he said that youngest he would date is 16, and i'm 15, and he's 17. He's a really great guy. We both have a lot in common, and are a lot alike. I'm not saying that because of these things that we belong together or something I just want to know everyones ideas on this. Any and all answers are greatly appreciated, and thank you in advance.
15 and 17 is perfectly fine. I know plenty of people who are in that situation. Its really no big deal. I would say 18 is not a good idea though because at that age it seems like the 18 year old enters a new level where like 15 year olds shouldnt be, if you get what i mean. For that guy your talking about, its just his personal preference to only date people as young as 16.
16/F
So my boyfriend and me have been dating for a year, He has cheated on me twice, but not recently. We have never been the fighting type but the past couple of months we have fought a lot. Im kind of losing feelings for him, but on our year anniversary he gave me a promise ring, and i dont know what to do. I mean i love him and i think i always will, and i think im scared to be without him because i've been with him so long and i wont know what to do. Im really confused. can you please help?? Thanks =]
I dont know what reasons you guys are fighting for, but it could possibly be that the cheating is subconsciously getting at you and making it easier for you guys to find something to fight about. Maybe? If you forgave this guy because you really love him that much then thats cool, but have you considered taking a break? Most people dont believe in breaks because they say they dont get back together but thats not always true. You need to talk to your boyfriend before you decide on anything. Tell him you feel like you two have been fighting so much and why he thinks you guys are and from there he'll give his input. You guys both might agree to take a break or agree to try to stop fighting. But if you dont say anything to him you'll be putting all the pressure on your self to make the relationship better when clearly a relationship is a two way street, so let him meet you half way. =]
okay so i recently had a question about my boyfriend being a no-show 2 nights in a row and not calling me...that was 2 days ago and he hasnt contacted me in any way since...his phones broken but he could use his little brothers who doesnt use it alot...should i text his brother or wait until he texts me? i really wanted to see him this weekend but im tired of always having to be the one to step up, and i'm trying to be mad at him because i want him to know that he hurt me but its soo hard, especially when he won't text or call me...=/
I disagree with the other person. I wouldnt tell him your mad, because guys tend to think the opposite and he'll think your blowing it out of control. I would say 2 nights or 4, whichever isnt that long, especially since his phone is broken, so you dont necesarily know that he can use his brothers. I wouldnt text the brother, if you guys sort of just started dating you dont want to come off as that attached clingy girlfriend trying to get in contact with him anyway possible, if not then i still wouldnt because if he can use his bro's cell or a house phone then maybe he will call you. If he waits over a week when you guys do talk, be like hey your alive or yeah thanks i am alive, something to show your kinda upset but not directly saying that your mad.
16/f, sorry if this is a bit long, I appreciate your help so so so much :]
So, there is this guy, and he told me he liked me, I told him I liked him, but then a couple days after that he got with his ex girlfriend who basically was just dumped by her boyfriend. the guy and i havent talked for 4 or 5 weeks. [since that happened] he is in one of my classes. math. and i hate that class already.
well on friday, i had to collect homework. and no one was passing it up, so i kind of went down his row [which is right next to mine, and im in the way front, he is like 2 seats behind me in the next row, so awkward. he moved there when we got our seats changed.] but before i got to him, they started passing it up, so then all of the sudden the guy ... we'll call him bob.. leans on his desk and says something like, "[my name] would you mind taking this--" or "[my name] will you do me a favor and--" i've been wanting him to talk to me, but i felt like he was being an asshole so i cut him off and snatched it out of his hand. [with attitude i guess] and then bob was like "thank you" [i think kind of sarcastically. or surprised.]
anyways, that happened and then i've been having wierd dreams involving him [nothing sexual, dont worry hahaha] just like dreams that I'm trying to get him to notice me. or talk to me. or break up with his girlfriend. who doesn't deserve him because she always told people ho annoying he was. and not that bob deserves anyone because i REALLY like/liked him.
sometimes i feel like he's looking at me in math. and when i talk to someone who sits behind him, i feel like he tries to make eye contact with me, and when we do make eye contact, i break away frist really quickly, or he does. and we were put in groups on friday [the day i snatched the paper from him] and he was right next to me [in his group] and i think he was listening to me talk to my group or trying to get my attention because whenever this guy in his group asked me a question, he would look at me and our eyes met and it was so intense. like. i don't even now how to explain it.
and ontop of that, i think i like this freshman now. but i still like bob. im so lost and confused and i can't get bob off of my mind. and sometimes the new guy i like comes into my mind. but not really. wow im so confused. what should i do? talk to bob? I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO, I AM SO LOST. someone please help me :[ thank you.
and by the way, i don't think that the new guy i liek likes me haha. its a long story but we are starting to become flirtatious and playful :] he is also in one of my classes. and bob is friends with my brother. and so is the freshman.
I love how everyone uses the name bob for a code male name. Bob is a cool name lol. I would say that whether you think you like bob or not you probably do, your having dreams about getting him to like you and its your subconscious talking to you. I dont suggest talking to bob because he has a girlfriend and thats an easy way for you to let go and move on. I think if bob really liked you to begin with than he wouldnt of gotten back with his ex so theres a sign that you have to watch out for this guy. As for the new guy, try to get to know him. If you still have reasons to believe that bob likes you then ask your brother to find out some info, also on the new guy.
13/F - he is 14/M
Okay here are just some questions for boys only (or girls if you think you can answer them) that protain to a problem I am having now: (please answer them like you would if you were 14)
1. Do boys ever play around with girls' emotions for the heck of it? Like do they ever just get a laugh out of messing around with a girl's feelings? If so, WHY??
2. What are boys' reactions when a girl starts crying?
3. What would a boy do if he likes a girl but doesn't want a girlfriend? What should the girl do in this situation?
4. I've heard a lot of diferent girls' opinions, but in you opinion do you prefer to chase a girl or have her come to you?
5. What ( in your boy opinion haha ) should a girl do if the boy she likes (and he says he likes her too) is ignoring her? If he likes her why would he ignore her??
Please help me out guys, this boy is really confusing me... And you say girls are confusing... Ha.
im a girl but id still like to answer your questions. 1. Boys definitely play with girls feelings, just like girls do. Girls might flirt with the boy and act like shes likes him, lead him on but really not want the relationship to go anywhere, that is messing with their feelings. Its understandable because its like the person gets a kick out of the other person wanting them. 2.Some boys might try and figure out whats wrong by asking her questions, some might not ask anything but give her a hug, or some might just completely ignore the fact that shes crying and just let her cry because they dont know what to say. 3.If a boy likes a girl but doesnt want a girlfriend he'll probably just try and hook up with her and only have a sexual relationship but nothing serious. The girl should distance herself from this type of guy if she actually DOES want a relationship. 4. I have heard from guys that they enjoy the chase. Not for too long, but for long enough because something easy wouldnt be as fun. The more you have to work for something,the more you appreciate it when you get it. 5. sometimes guys have things going through their heads, such as confusion on whether he likes the girl or not, and its just better to be alone and not talk to her until he gets whatever he is thinking about straight. Everything you just said girls do too, so its not just a guy thing.
14/f
Ok so my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 2 months. It was great in the beginning like how it usually is for most people. Then you know, later its not as great but I didn't mind it after the first month. But now its kinda changing. Like we don't really talk anymore, he'll just stand by me or whatever. We don't see each other alot since we don't go to the same school. Then I'm just getting confused because he goes to another school and his friend, who are also my friend, would come up to me and say, "you better watch your guy, those girls are wow" or something like that. Then I'm thinking like, "does he still like me?" and I don't want to ask him because for one thing, I'm super shy, second, if he still says he does, it doesn't mean he is telling the truth. I'm not gullible, I don't believe half of what anyone says. Which sometimes isn't good, I know.
Now there is another side for me. Ok there is a guy at my school I think I'm starting to like, since I see him everyday its easier for me to look at him and just think these things. Hah, I wouldn't cheat on my boyfriend for anything in the world. I like him so much, its just me thinking he doesn't like me. But this guy is really nice and we talk sometimes but its short. But during the whole time I'm thinking of my boyfriend, I like him so much. What am I supposed do? Am I just thinking these things about this guy because I don't see my boyfriend often? Sorry this was long and thanks for any help!
Go for the other guy. Especially if you dont believe your boyfriend or wont believe him. Itll make him distant and you guys are already distant so you dont need that. and at this age you dont need to be in a relationship where you cant be able to at least see the guy at school because you dont know what goes on at his school and what sleezy girls might be hitting on him you know. Sorry to be negative, but the positive is to go for the other guy, just take it slow. I wouldnt say break up with your boyfriend just yet but talk to the other guy and get to know him more and this isnt cheating, just casual talking. When you feel like you can hang out with him then id end it with your boyfriend because you dont know what will happen when you and the guy hangout. Ask me for any other advice.
in 14, 9th grade
ive been with my bf for 4 mnthsss and i gave him a hj
am i like, a whore? am i too young? has it been long enough going out? i mean were pretty serious. idk i think im just paranoid. i mean i know he has no stds and he truely cares about me, and i truely care about him. im like, the only girl hes been with. i only told my best friend and shes like ahh ew never do that again! and i didnt think it was bad. she never did it before so yeah idk if shes just skeeved out by the idea. so yeah, um opinions on the situation?
should i do it again? if i do, how can i do it better? ;]
thankss
ps sorry this is all over the place haaha
I would Not say your a whore. Its your personal choice what you want to do. Just make sure this guy isnt telling other guys that you gave it to him and how long and all the details. I know people who waited way less time, so compared to SUM ppl thats a while, but im not saying go faster. Just try not to rush into things so your relationship doesnt become only about sexual things.
Sorry to be so blunt about it, but its beginning to piss me off. We've been dating now for over 8 months, and she seems incapable of completing the smallest tasks (like operating the ice maker on a fridge for instance) or even dealing with the smallest insignificant issues that come across the average person in everyday life. She cries all the time, and whenever i'm anywhere near her friends (whom are also my friends) she gets EXTREMELY jealous and basically pisses me off. I've never yelled at her, and i've been nothing but the kindest, sweetest boyfriend i can be, but sometimes i feel like our relationship is going nowhere, and i honestly can't see us even making it to valentines day :(
Am i crazy, or are there girls out there that are emotionally stable and don't feel like they need to make me feel that i'm prince charming every time i put ice in my glass? I just wish sometimes that i was with a girl that was a little more outgoing and less clingy. One that can just "hang out" without having to figure out what we're gonna do before coming over.
By the way. What she lacks in emotional stability, she makes up for in physical intimacy, and i feel trapped. We haven't had sex yet, and i know we both would be okay with it if we could ind somewhere other than the top of a parking garage to let it happen... but now, i'm almost afraid to be any more intimate with her than i already am, because i don't want to hurt her so badly if we break up.
Clingy and jealous.. phew.. thats tough for a guy to handle. If you really like her and want things to work than talk to her, be honest, thats the key to a relationship. Tell her that shes very clingy and gets jealous for no reason. She might be hurt by what your saying but if she likes you enough and doesnt want to drive you away she will try to act more normal. Just dont break up with her on valentines day or the day before, because thats just the worst. That would be like a slap in the face, like oh i like you so much im going to break up with you so close to valentines day. So remember her feelings at the same time. Also, dont let intimacy be the basis of your relationship, you want to like her for who she is not for what she does. If you feel like you dont love her on the inside then dont take advantage of her on the outside, but you seem to already know that. Thats good. This may seem a bit out there but its good to do some research on your horoscope signs, often you may find info that is like Oh thats true and wow that happens sometimes and itll help you find out more like how your two signs connect and why they dont connect. Just something to look into. But definitely talk to her and be honest.
16/f
hi okay. so this is kinda long, sorry. theres this guy i like but its a pretty complicated situation. his best friend liked me for a really long time. and he keeps like getting in the way. but hes not the only problem. okay so i met this guy a few months ago. and i pretty much started liking him right when i met him. we hung out with his group of friends a lot because my best friend liked one of his friends and it was just convenient. but anyways one day we were talking and he told me that he started liking me when we first met and then i told him i felt the same way. so we like kept hanging out and stuff and figuring out if we still liked each other. anyways, we ended up going out. he asked me out right before winter break though.. and we both were going away so we didnt see each other for like a week and a half after he asked me out. during that time me and my ex started talking a little again.. hes an even longer story but we were really close, in love with each other, we liked each other for like 3 years, best frineds, etc. but yeah he distracted me from my relationship with this other guy. so basically i never really showed my boyfriend i cared about him because i was hung up on this other guy. he noticed that i wasnt showing that i cared and told me i needed to, but i couldnt do that to him while i still had feelings for another guy. so we ended up breaking up. during this time his best friend had also been complaining to my friends about how he regretted telling his friend he could go out with me, it hurt him everyday, etc. so that was another part of the reason too. but after i broke up with my boyfriend he apparently still liked me, but he acted like he didnt. and for some reason that really frusterated me.. because i still liked him but he acted like he didnt care at all. and he knew that i liked it when guys did that because it kept me interested because not to sound cocky or anything but usually its pretty easy for me to get the guy that i like. so i like a challenge. and when guys dont show me they like me i see that as a challenge. it just pisses me off so much and it makes me like them so much more. anyways, my situation now is that i need to show him i care more.. im trying but he like puts so much pressure on me to do it. he tells me hes like attracted to me but not the way i act. i think were both just used to being the one in the relationship that has the other person care so much more about them.. or at least like show it more. i have like trouble showing people i care about them sometimes. i think its just because im a more closed off person. anyways, im getting to my main problem sorry. on monday i was at his best friends house with him and my other friend. we ended up like playing truth or dare and me and my friend both hooked up with both of them. bad move, i know. i wasnt thinking at the time. then yesterday i hung out with him and his best friend. i was at his best friends house before he came though, and everything was fine. the only problem is that his best friend is like really touchy and like tries to hold my hand and cuddle with me and stuff, and i let him. another stupid move i know. but its not that the guy i like really cares about that. the problem is that his best friend thinks that i do that to make the guy i like jealous, which is not true at all. anyways, the guy i like got there and we were like cuddling or whatever and his friend ended up getting really mad at me after. people tell me his best friend doesnt like me anymore, but he asked me to hook up again and last night he asked me why i didnt like him.. like what was wrong with him. i really feel like he still has feelings for me. i know i need to tell him that he doesnt have a chance because i feel like ive been leading him to think that he might. i really like his friend now but i dont want to come between them. the guy i like is getting frusterated with me because his best friend is mad at me and because apparently im 'hard to deal with' and dont show that i care. what should i do?
Tell him exactly what you said.. that you are kind of closed off and have a hard time showing your feelings and your doing everything you can and will keep trying because you like him. Honesty is the key in a relationship. He has to meet you half way as well so tell him that. Also, you need to stop hooking up with his best friend. Just the fact that the one you like is letting you guys do that and playing those games and not saying anything really is weird, thats not a good base to a relationship. The best friend should know not to go after his bffls girl. What is that about. And isnt the best friend your friends boyfriend, everything with the best friend just needs to end and you need to tell him that you like him as a friend, there is nothing wrong with him but you like his friend and you both need to know when your crossing the friendship line.
so im 15/f
ive only had 1 bf & we didnt really talk or do anything we didnt even offically break-up
besides that little thing, ive never done basiclly anything with a guy, like never hu, dance, or even really talk for a long period of time. i do'nt know why is it cause im shy
every guy i like we just stare at each oother and nothing happens is it cause im quiet and shy i dont get it
guys answers preferred
thanks
not a guy..but still willing to help.
Your probably just to nervous to take it to that next level..like a kiss. When you get close enough to a guy on a personal level you'll feel more comfortable, still nervous but ready. Or maybe the guy will be too nervous so you'll have to make the first move and if he likes you he'll accept it. When it comes to a hug, you can hug a guy as just a friend, it just depends on how much you guys are friends, if you barely know eachother than he'll find it strange that your hugging him and make a weird face, but usually people accept hugs when you talk to the person alot and are friends. If your close enough to that person you wont really think about giving them a hug, you'll just do it. And if you go to a dance, just be lively and dancing with your friends and have fun, someone is bound to ask you to dance or you have to take the first approach and be like hey want to dance, even if you dont know them, its just dancing so its not that serious. If they say no, their loss. Any more questions, feel free to ask me.
My ex fiance said to me to call him when im older. We were so inlove,I don't understand why he would throw that away. Im 19 and female, he's 39, we have been together a year and a half. Is there anybody who's been in a similar situation? What can I do?
well im definitely not in this situation. But he probably just wants you to go through more in life and have more experience. You are only 19 and is almost 40. 19 year olds are still going to clubs and in college where as 40 year olds are settled down and in a whole different stage of their life. He probably wnats you to be sure of what you want first, your still young and though you were in love he might not want to take your youth away from you and make you feel so commited when you have so much time left. If i were you id explore life outside of him, like your goals and desires and other relationships whether it be on a friendly level or intimate one. Just try and keep in touch with your ex-fiance so you guys dont have a complete falling out.
if your head tells you not to date a certain guy but your heart does what one would you chose? i don't want to hear pick your heart but take your brain with you crap either. one or the other.
I know of similiar situations. If the reasons in your head make more sense then your heart..go for your head, but if you are reallly confused then I would go with your heart because you have to take risks and you never know what could of came of it if you dont even try. Love is pain, and if that means you getting hurt in the end well at least you took a chance and seen what could come of it.
Well. Theres this guy and omg he is just amazing. But theres one problem i like him but im really confused because i talk to him on yahoo messenger and myspace etc. and like i get along with him on there more than i do in person. We dont really talk in person. And his friends told me he's gonna ask me out on Valentines Day. But idkk. How can i start talking to him in person? Because everytime i try to he just like ignores me basicalyy.
Ok dont say "the both of us are nervous in person" that just will make things more awkward. And i dont know what kind of response he would give besides turning red. You want to start off by saying.. hey, but make it a flirty hey, like light voice and a cute smile [smile with lips and eyes] like your actually happy to see him. Then you kind of just start talking about things that are going on right then or a great thing to do is mention something that went on in your texts so that you guys acknowledge the fact that you talk via text a lot.Everyone feels more comfortable not having to talk. But even texting sometimes can be awkard because you might not have anything to talk about after saying hi so you take a long time to text back or give those lame answers such as "ok". I have the same problem though, barely talking in person but texting were like different people. I think he.ll ask me on valentines time day too. lol i say just go with the flow and try not to act to nervous because you want to be yourself and real.