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humorist-workshop
i need opinions and thinngs
in 14, 9th grade
ive been with my bf for 4 mnthsss and i gave him a hj
am i like, a whore? am i too young? has it been long enough going out? i mean were pretty serious. idk i think im just paranoid. i mean i know he has no stds and he truely cares about me, and i truely care about him. im like, the only girl hes been with. i only told my best friend and shes like ahh ew never do that again! and i didnt think it was bad. she never did it before so yeah idk if shes just skeeved out by the idea. so yeah, um opinions on the situation?
should i do it again? if i do, how can i do it better? ;]
thankss
ps sorry this is all over the place haaha
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i personally think you're kinda young for that...you should enjoy your youth while you still have it..but honestly, if you feel that it was right then so be it. i did that for the first time when i was 16 so thats not much better but its better than alot of these 13 year olds having sex. i say you're not a whore if you're just doing that with him, but if you go off and do it with the whole football team, well thats kinda different in my perspective. but keep in mind you're only a whore if you think you are.
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If you question an activity as being "slutty" or "whorish" then it is, nine times out of ten, a slutty, whorish behavior/activity. If you have to question it, then there's a reason why you feel that way. Sometimes your conscience is screaming at you even when you don't want to listen. Most people who ask questions like this to a pool of people they feel do the same thing are simply looking for psychological relief for their guilt of being perceived as a slut for the bad activities they do. (Associates degree in psychology taught me this.)
To me it sounds like your conscience is screaming at you that you ARE doing whorish behavior and that you ARE too young for this. Adult situations like sexual activities leads to adult consequences. It may sound like a meaningless, harmless behavior at first but when someone winds up going too far, developing an infection or odd bumps, or something that is equally as frightening then you can realize just how adult you needed to be.
I say listen to your conscience right now and find other ways to spend your time with your boyfriend of only four months.
You can prove your love in so many ways. It's a shame that teens don't realize that now. You don't need to throw your bodies around in sexual activities to prove love, care, or whatever else. My suggestion for the time being is simply this:
Make memories of your youth while you can.
When you're older you'll have something to say. Your grandchildren will all sit around, wanting you to tell them about the time you and grandpa went out and did this and that. They'll come to you advice on how to make their own relationships work and you'll be able to say, "It isn't about having sex. It isn't about saying you're going to marry them. It's about life, love, and making lasting memories together."
I feel sad that a lot of the teenagers now won't have a "how we met" story other than, "We met at a party and starting making out and had sex." I feel sad that teenagers will have to say, "I was engaged to 3 guys before he asked me and we got married." I feel sad that they won't have anything to say about what they did together other than, "Well, we we could see each other, we had sex. Sometimes with a condom, sometimes without. We had a few pregnancy scares." I feel sad that they will have to tell their own children things like, "No, your mother/father wasn't my first sexually. I lost my virginity when I was 13 to this one guy/girl. I had been with 13 people prior to your mother/father." I feel sad that most teenagers, when adults, won't have any advice to give their children in relationships other than, "Well, if you love him then you two should have sex." How silly does that one sound?
Go roller-blading.
See concerts.
Go to the park and watch old people in love.
Lay on the ground and look at the clouds.
Go on movie dates.
Share a milkshake.
Read books together.
Go have a few double-dates with your best friend.
Volunteer together.
Talk to strangers together and see if you can help brighten their day.
Help each other grow.
Don't worry about sex.
The time will come when that will be important.
The time is not now.
Be 14.
Be 15.
Be 16.
Be 17.
Be 18.
Be 19.
Be 20.
Be 21.
Enjoy your youth while you can, and look back to laugh and smile at the good, wholesome memories.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me.
P.S. For a very, very last note: Virgins can very well have STDs. Fingering, handjobs, and blowjobs can all spread STDs, two of the most commonly spread by these activities is herpes and HPV--which can live deep under your FINGERNAILS.
Seeing how serious this actually is yet?
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I would Not say your a whore. Its your personal choice what you want to do. Just make sure this guy isnt telling other guys that you gave it to him and how long and all the details. I know people who waited way less time, so compared to SUM ppl thats a while, but im not saying go faster. Just try not to rush into things so your relationship doesnt become only about sexual things.
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