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A little different kind of friend trouble
16/m
Well there is this girl who is my best friend, and she has this boyfriend who she's not so crazy about. Anyway, I hate the fact that she's dating this guy, and I think I would feel the same way about any guy who she dated. I want to se her happy even if that means her dating some guy, but it absolutely tears me appart seeing her enjoy being with a guy that isn't me. I just have no idea how to handle any of this, and just avoiding the situation and not having her in my life would be horrible because she is so nice and fun to be with. Any ideas??
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
try telling her how you feel. whatever happens, happens. at least you wont be sitting here thinking what ifff
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Do you believe you really love this girl? If so tell her how you feel. First off you have to decide if telling her while she is dating this guy when they break up would be better. I know you say she isn't so crazy about this boy. Are you sure? Is she unhappy. Now what are you going to say to her and how to say it. First off say it to her face not in a not, not in a text message not online. In person. Tell her what you have said on here. That you want her to be happy regardless. It tears you up to see her with anyone. now decide if you want to tell her you love her.
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if she becomes single then tell her how you feel, that you like her and are interested in being more than just friends but will accept it if she just wants to be friends. but dont tell her now or while shes in any relationship because its bad to interfere and you'll mess with her head. but for right now you have to just sit back and possibly find someone else..
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Don't go psychotic over it. Please. All you can do right now is be there for her whenever she needs you, but if you REALLY want to achieve a higher status- other then friendship, you need to step up to the plate and tell her. My old guy best friend called me one day and said he was going to kill himself. He made up some bogus reason and I took him to the hospital with me, where my boyfriend works too. While I was in the room with him, my boyfriend came in and talked to me. After he left, my best friend tore out his IV'S and went freakin crazy. I asked what was wrong and he said the whole reason he was going to kill himself was over me and its "bullshit" that I date my boyfriend when he has wanted me this whole time..and he left. He told me to choose who I wanted...I chose and he hasn't talked to me since. I mean- it sounds unbelievable but I think I was more hurt then he was in his neurotic episode...I doubt that you are at this crazy of a level like he was now (lol, I hope not..) but before you end up feeling like you are losing in this battle of love then you need to talk to her. It's very typical for one of the friends to be in love with the other, VERY typical...just don't give her ultimatums and make her choose. No pressure, remember that :)
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Hey there,
this is a really tough situation to be in and trust me I understand completely how you feel as a lot of other advicenators will,many people have gone through this and it sucks theres no doubt about that it really does.
but have you tried talking to her and telling her how you feel? if you havnt id strongly sugest that you do because for all you know she could feel the very same way.
if you have and she has said she only wants to be your best friend well then you really have to just accept that im afraid as hard as it is,you don't want to drive her away by being critical of every boyfriend. trust me there is nothing worse when a girls best guy friend doesnt like her bf. like you said you dont want to not have in your life,so if she has no feelings for you,you have to get over yours for her.easier said then done I know but you can do it everyone has to at some point and its really tough but in time it gets easier and before you know it youve let go. do your best to stop yourself thinking and seeing her in that way,get talking to other girls i know youl probably say to yourself starting off "what good are other girls they are not her"right?. ive been there ive gone through it, but the feeling you have when you know your finally over them is great it really is.
Anyway thats my advice,I hope I helped and things work out any more questions please inbox me.
much <3
Jess
16/F
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