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Hey so my girlfriend and I have a long distance relationship going, we skype every night and we do truly love each other. We've been dating for about 1 month, it was actually our anniversary yesterday. We drop hints about sex in our convos a lot but we don't really talk about it full time. I was just wondering, is it the right time to ask her for nudes? If not, should I and when? Thanks a lot (link)
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Let's get right into it!
I don't think you should ask her for nudes. Instead you should kind of bring the idea up to her in one of your conversations. I mean you're already talking about sex so why not just slip in the "nudes" discussion. The reason why you shouldn't directly ask and say, "Can I have some nudes?" is because you don't want to scare her off or make it seem like you had ulterior motives the entire time. Instead, you should bring up the idea of sending nudes back and forth so that way you can sort of gauge how she would feel about the whole thing because the main thing. You don't want her to feel pressured to do something that she might not want to do. So ask her how she feels about sending nudes and then go from there.
Now that we got that out the way, be careful when you send nudes because those pictures don't go away, especially if you have an iPhone. If and when you send a nude, don't put your face in the picture. And try not to send a whole bunch because you don't want a million different pictures of your "equipment" floating around the internet or worse...on someone's phone. A few pics here and there over the course of a few months should be fine. Also, make sure that she's not a minor.
I hope this helps.
Andrew Horton
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im 12 and me and my boyfriend are having protectected sex he fingers me and my parents don't know im at his house many days and weve been together 2 years my parents still don't even now were goin out amongst many other things we enjoy ourselves when were togetter I LOVE HIM AND HIS DICK!! AND HE LOVES ME AND MY VAGINA he tried to put a barbies foot up my tooch and my vaginamite hurt I let him do it though! things are starting to get weird and out of hand BUT I LOVE HIM SOOO..... MUCH A 2 YEAR RELATIONSHIP IS A LONG TIME !like I said I love him! he makes me happy WHAT DO I DO IM CAUGHT IN A CROSSFIRE OF LOVE PAIN AND ENJOYMENT pls help me what do I do????? :) :) B-) ;0 ;0 (link)
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Although you're 12 and I don't really think you should be having sex yet, if he's doing something that you don't like, tell him that you don't like it. When you have sex, both people need to be comfortable with what's going on. If you don't want to use barbie dolls as sex toys, then tell him not to use a barbie doll as a sex toy.
Now that I've answered your question, if you have a boyfriend who wants to stick a barbie inside of you, then I don't think you should be involved with him. Being in love doesn't mean that you compromise who you are or that you sacrifice your comfortableness just to make him feel good.
I will be honest and say that a red flag went off in my head when you mentioned that you were 12 years old, but not once did you mention how old he was and that you said that your parents don't know that you're dating him. This leads me to believe that this guy is probably much older than you, and if I'm wrong I apologize. But you sound a bit disillusioned as to what love is. It's one thing to really like someone because they're sexy and good in bed, but it's another thing to truly be in love with someone just because of who they are and how they make you feel emotionally, not just physically. In my opinion I think that you might be confusing "He makes me feel good (physically)" with "He makes me happy (emotionally)".
You are 12 years old and you've been in a relationship for 2 years with this guy which means that you started dating at age 10. I have never met any boys who are concerned about sex at age 10 which just makes me think even more that you are involved with a guy you're not supposed to be with. I am thoroughly convinced that what you are feeling isn't love, but the thrill of someone older being attracted to you for the first time.
If I were you, I wouldn't want to be in this relationship because you'll have plenty of time when you're older to think about sex in a more mature way. When you stop thinking about sex as "I love his dick, he loves my vagina, let's smash", then you'll know that you are mature enough for that experience.
I do realize that there is a chance that I could be wrong and that this guy could be your age because who else but a little boy would want to stick a barbie doll up a girl's "no-no place"?
Overall, just be safe and make smarter decisions. Talk to your parents more and start a conversation with them about LOVE, SEX, and PROTECTION. You may be thinking that it's embarrassing and uncomfortable to talk to them about those kinds of things, but that's what they are there for. They've gone through what you have gone through and they have the years of experience to prove it. Talk to your parents and EDUCATE yourself. Being able to have those kinds of conversations and establishing that level of open trust is what will prepare you for sex, and at your age you need to be emotionally and mentally prepared for sex. Save the physical preparation for when you are much older.
Hopefully this helped you and hopefully I said what you needed to hear. Also, if this question was just a fluke and you're some random person who just likes to come on here because you want a laugh, please stop because there are people who actually need help. If this isn't the case, my apologies.
Andrew
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Dear Vikki
I'm 24 and from South Africa. I have been in a relationship for almost 7 months now and before that we were only friends. I love him a lot and care about him a lot, but at times I feel that my insecurities gets in the way and it ends up in us having an argument about something small and stupid. See we have a long distance relationship at the moment and it is mostly when he cannot have decent conversation at night because his busy and then I start thinking "maybe he doesn't want to talk to me" , "maybe he doesn't find me interesting anymore and he will leave me for someone else" and I do know that he cares for me a lot and that he loves me and as soon as I think I have these feelings under control, it creeps in again. I don't want to lose him, because I was insecure and clingy. I never was like this in the beginning. I was cheated on before and most of the times it is when I'm away from him, when we are together, I don't have it and because of this it makes things hard for me. I care about people real fast and they can actually hurt me with words. How do I get past this? How can I get past my insecurities and not be clingy when I feel like these emotions are creeping in? I'm not jealous when it comes to being his girlfriends, because I know what type of guy he is. I know he will never cheat on me, but because I don't always see myself as beautiful, I'm sometimes afraid he will leave me for someone more beautiful than me. The guy that cheated on me used to say to me, that I shouldn't think that someone can love me, because there feelings will change. I was so deeply hurt.
Is there any advice you can give me? Guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to that I don't know personally!
Thanks!
(link)
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Well you can't love someone and expect them to love you back if you don't love yourself. Before you get involved with somebody, you need to love yourself and appreciate yourself for who you are.
If you don't love yourself, people will try to take advantage of you. But if you have a high self esteem, then NOBODY'S words can break you.
You also mentioned that you feel like your clingy towards your boyfriend. The only way to not cling to someone so much is for you to be more independent. Learn how to rely on yourself to get things done, otherwise you'll feel like you need a boyfriend for everything.
Here's the bottom line: Make sure your life is in order before you get involved in someone else's. A lot of people want boyfriends and girlfriends immediately, but they haven't even taken care of their own business yet. You have to get yourself right before you can be in a relationship with someone. You can't just jump into a relationship if you feel insecure about yourself. You can't expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself.
People will treat you like dirt if you allow them. That's why you need to treat yourself how you want others to treat you and LOVE yourself how you want others to LOVE you.
Before anyone tells you that you look pretty, you need to be the first one to tell that to yourself. Look in the mirror when you wake up every morning and proclaim that you are BEAUTIFUL! You need believe that you are beautiful before anyone else does because YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. No matter what anybody else says.
Treat yourself how you want to be treated and don't settle for horrible men. You let a man know how you EXPECT to be treated on day one and if he can't love you like the lady that you are, then he isn't worth YOUR love.
And lastly, don't put your boyfriend on a pedestal. Every man is capable of cheating just like every woman is capable of cheating. People make mistakes and you can't expect them to be perfect. I'm not saying that he will cheat on you, but I am saying don't be blind to that possibility.
Well I hope that something I said will be able to help you in your future relationships.
~Andrew~
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So, me and my boyfriend get along really well, we've had our ups and downs but we've stayed together. I'm 14 and he is 16, is this bad? I've got a feeling it is, he's giving me hints that he wants sex with me and I know this from another question I've asked on here, I'm not going to have sex with him until I'm ready and it is legal but I'm just not sure if it's right...
I probably sound crazy. (link)
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You don't sound crazy, but he sounds way to old for you. Most guys his age only think about sex. You need to tell him how you feel and that you're not ready to have sex yet. If he doesn't listen then you need to just tell him NO and shut him down every time he brings up the subject.
If he starts pressuring you to have sex, then that's when you need to cut him loose. There are plenty of other men out there who will respect you and treat you like a lady. But if this guy really likes you(or even LOVES you), then he'll respect your wishes.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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My boyfriend is trying to give hints that he wants to take the relationship further, he's asking me how far I would go and what I would do, asking me to send him dirty pictures and if I would have sex. I'm 14 years old! I'm not ready, I'm not comftable with my body and I'm not comftable thinking about it. I want to tell him somehow that I'm not ready to go that far yet but I'm not sure how to tell him, he said he would never force me which I hope he won't...
Anyone got any advice on how I can tell him without it breaking us apart?
Also he wants me to send him a picture of me, a dirty one... I really don't want to, how can I tell him I don't want to do this aswell?
Thankyou x (link)
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Lay down the rules and set some boundaries in your relationship.
When he asks you for sex, tell him NO. Don't let some boy pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. It is YOUR body, NOT HIS. He doesn't own you, so don't let him trick you or manipulate you into doing something that you're not ready for.
TELL HIM NO!
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
P.S. Everyone is born with the power and the capability to say NO. You just have to use it.
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I'm female. Okay so I'm in high school right now. My final year. Prom is coming up soon...we'll not really soon but you know how it is. I'm going with a guy I find really attractive. On the night I know it might lead to us getting physical( p.s we're not dating) because he did tell me a lonnnng time prior that he really likes me. He's one of my best friends so I know he won't bullshit me. He confides in me and I know of his past relationships. He's not a virgin(but I am). We talked about a relationship but I that's not going to happen because I dated one of his close friends. The thing is on the night it might lead to us wanting to get physical. And I don't know if I should do it. I want to experience it finally because I'm very curious. He makes it seem so interesting. But should I wait for it to be with someone more special? I don't want to be in a relationship with him but I'm still curious. Any advice (link)
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Have you ever heard the saying, "Curiosity killed the cat"? Well in my opinion, you should not get physical on your Prom night because when you have sex just to have sex, it creates a whirlwind of problems. Just because you like this guy, DOES NOT mean that you have to "put out" to please him. If he genuinely likes you, he WON'T FORCE you to make a decision.
Just like tea, sex is better the longer you wait.
And besides, you said that you don't want a relationship with this guy. So why settle for as one night fling? It almost sounds like he wants a relationship, and you want to bang and dash.
One night stands complicate things because most of the time, you don't know who you're getting into bed with. That's why you need a relationship first. I know the both of you are really good friends, but people change. And they change A LOT. Every guy has a friend that he tells everything to. What if you and him have sex, and then the next week it is all over school that you slept with him? People can be cruel and they will come up with all sorts of names about you, and that's not how you want to remember your Prom.
I know you think that he won't say anything, but how can you know for sure? I had a friend who watched a movie after Prom at a guy's house or something like that and the next day at school, a whole bunch of people knew about it. She didn't even have sex with him and he was telling everyone. And this is a guy that she has known for a while.
Bottom line, I believe that people should wait until marriage to have sex, but if you can't wait that long and the urges are too strong, at least make sure you use protection. Prom is supposed to be the best night of your life, not a night that you will REGRET.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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My boyfriend asked me out last week and I said yes. He gave me his number a few days ago so I texted him. We were talking and all of a sudden, he asked me if we were going out. Later he then asked me if I liked him. Now I'm really confused. He's like a year younger than me but I'm just really confused...? I was just really confused so I stopped replying. A few minutes later, he said "hello?" and things like that, so I just stopped replying. Should I just wait until tomorrow to talk to him and tell him that like my phone broke or something? I'm so confused and I don't know if he's one of those 'clingy' boyfriends or just nervous. He's also already said that he loves me, so now what? I don't think I believe him since it's been like a few days but I just don't know if I should date him right now. I like him, but... I just don't know. Advice as soon as possible please
P.S. Sorry if this is confusing (link)
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This is not confusing at all. You just need to tell him how you feel. He likes you and you know that part already. Now you just need to find YOUR answer. Do you like him the way he likes you? Are you ready for a relationship? Do you want a relationship? How do you know that he is clingy, because from personal experience I'm trying not to be clingy to a girl I like, but I'm not trying to make her think I don't like her. Like me, maybe this is the first time this guy has ever pursued interest in someone.
If you do want a relationship, let him know that you want to take things slow.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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theres this guy i like and he steals some glances at me sometimes and smiles at times and talks to me here and there what are 5 ways tto know he likes me? (link)
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Honestly, guys are CONFUSING. I know that I'm kinda going through the same thing with this girl I like. We've had two classes together each term and we really didn't speak too much, until I decided to ask her to Prom. Now, we kinda dance around the topic of being boyfriend and girlfriend, but lately I've been dropping subtle hints that I'm interested in her.
So to answer your question, if he hasn't been able to admit any feelings to you or anything like that, then you should tell him how you feel and that you like him. If you're ever at a confusing stand-still like this, then you should make the first move. There's really no specific way to find out if a guy likes you unless you ask him, or he's dropping really obvious hints that he likes you.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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Me & my bf been together 3yrs now iys been anabuise one I got beat everyday but my question was how do I know hes gay say my self he is he says his not but he did things that go that way he only look at guys when he would see a guy walkin down the st he would stand like If he was forzen & I guess he would fanitzie about haveing sex with this person & his dick would get hard he wouldnt have sex with me itz been 3months he says I been actin up thats why he wouldnt have sex with me them he says itz him I said no itz not becuZ he stands in one place like hes stupid doesnt talk nothang just stands ther dreamin awake in hes dick gets hard only when he sees guys I know he has messed arpund Idont have proff but he has all the signs help me what u think it is (link)
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If he's gay he will tell. You can't just assume that a guy is gay without any proof. Nothing's wrong with being gay, but no man wants to be called out on being different.
I think you should probably talk to him again, this time with a little more understanding. Try not to corner him in public and ask him. Wait until you guys get home and ask him. And let him know that you'll understand and that you won't judge him. If he says he's not gay, YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE. You have to trust and know that if anything changed with him or his sexuality, he would let you know when he was ready. Let him know how you're feeling.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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I'm 16 , I hate young dudes . what would be my age limit to date an older dude ? (link)
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In my opinion, the oldest guy you could date would be 17. But honestly, you should just wait until you meet a guy you like. Not all men are the same, that's why you shouldn't limit yourself to one specific age group. Date a guy for LOVE, NOT for his age.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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I have a crush on this guy, but I don't know what he thinks. Signs point to: he has a crush on me. But he's the hottest guy in school so girls are always kissing his butt, and he's always playing “hard to get" I admit I'm a hopeless romantic. I know that heart breakers get the guy all the time. How do you become one without spending much money? Or being “fake?" (link)
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I think that you should be yourself. Don't try to be a CLICHE and copy what you see on t.v. A guy wants a girl who will be herself around him. He doesn't want a girl who is trying to do all these tricks just to get him to like them. BE YOURSELF. Don't try to become a "heart-breaker" or whatever that is. If you think this guy has a crush on you, it's because he likes you for you.
And about being Fake (this is just my opinion), if you have to change yourself at all in order to get a guy or girl to like you, then that is being fake.
Just be yourself. IT WORKS.
~Andrew~
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So there's this guy that I liked. Long story short, he called me hot, I asked him if we could hang out and he said he would if he could but I shouldn't count on it. For the most part, my relationship with this guy has been flirty yet non flirty at the same time. It is always contradicting. I feel like he does find me attractive but yet he'll keep at least an arms length away. Like he likes to have the idea of me on the side, and wants to get laid (which nothing has happened like that in that case).
The thought of him playing these mind games, and toying with my emotions and playing hard to get makes me feel troubled and a bit disgusted. Disgusted in the sense that in today's society , all people do is think about themselves. They never think twice whether they're hurting others around them. All people want now a days , especially most guys I feel is that they just want to pleasure themselves and then once they have what they want , we girls are no longer interesting to them , and once that happens they'll just throw us to the curb.
For example today , I asked three of my guy friends if he would rather date one girl or two girls but without them knowing . All of them answered truthfully and said they would date two girls because of experience. It hurts personally for me to hear that cause how am I ever gonna trust a guy and know that he'll actually want me and love me. How am I gonna know that if he secretly misses the thought of being polygamous ...
And not being tied down ?
The views of marriage is rapidly changing to the point where there's a 50 percent divorce rate . It may even come to the point where in the future marriage is no longer signified for love but for "trial" and for "getting it in"
Should I not bother with relationships ? How do I know if a guy is genuinely sincere and wants something more ?
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This is just my opinion, but your friends do not represent the entire population of men. So just because you spoke to three guys who said that they would date two women at the same time, doesn't mean that every man in the world is trying to date two women. Personally, I would prefer to date one woman at a time because I can't spend money on two women at the same time and I don't feel like worrying about being caught or calling each girl the wrong name. THAT'S TOO MUCH.
So you like this guy, but he's not really trying to commit to anything. If you want him to commit to a relationship, let him know. TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL. I know that sounds cliche and cheesy, but it's the truth. If you ever want something to happen, you need to make it happen. Don't sit around waiting for this dude to make up his mind because you have other things you could be doing with your life instead of waiting on him. Let him know how you're feeling and see where that takes you.
And I know it seems like marriage is losing it's meaning nowadays, but just like I said about your three friends, every married couple on the face of the earth does not represent marriage for the world. They represent marriage for themselves because every marriage is not the same. Every marriage has its own meaning.
What that means is, if you marry someone for the wrong reasons (money, sex, looks, etc.), then your marriage is meaningless because you built your union on superficial things that will never last. But if you build your marriage on trust and love, then your marriage means something to you because love will last a lifetime.
I'm 18, so I'm not married. But I've been blessed to have two parents that have been together for 20+ years, so I know what true love looks like.
Well that's all the knowledge I have to offer. I just hope that I helped you, even just a little bit.
~Andrew~
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I am talking to a old flig i used to have 5 years ago.
We have been talking for about a month and the sparks are flying high for one another. A couple of days ago he had asked me for a picture, so i gave it to him. Yesterday he had asked me for another one, I said no because I had 0 and he had 1. He of course pleaded and begged me to give him one. So I asked for my friends advice and she said just to give him one. I ended up giving him 3 pictures b/c my friend said they all looked nice. I was waiting for him to give me one of him but he never did. that night he called me just wanting to talk. While we were on the phone he was texting someone, for some reason I have the feeling that he was texting another girl because what guy at night while he is talking to a girl be texting a guy? Am i right?! LOL
I pretended like it didn't bother me or i didn't notice. While i was on the phone with him all of the sudden it went silent like i was placed on hold...so i just hung up ...After my night shift ended and i was driving home thinking about what happened last night i feel like the idiot that gave him 4 pictures in total when i don't have any! and the texting thing while i was on the phone also bothers me....I'm so mad and so hurt that i just started to ignore him...well i guessed he noticed because now his text says why are you ignoring me? and idk what to say....any advice??
PLEASE HELP!!! :'( (link)
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Well, in my opinion,I don't think you should be with this guy. Sending pictures of yourself is very risky and you shouldn't send him pictures unless you know you're getting a picture back Dirty pictures, however, are a bit different. Kids aren't really supposed to send dirty pictures, but at the end of the day everyone makes their own decisions.
But back to your question, this guy sounds like a complete jerk. He asked you multiple times for pictures and you think he was texting while talking to you. If you want to still try and make this friendship or relationship work, then you need to tell him how you feel. Don't have all these suspicions and not get any answers for them. You deserve to know if he's fully committed to your friendship or relationship.
Well I hope this helps,
Andrew
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How to get a boy to fall in love with you (link)
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Be yourself. And be honest.
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Hey im a 15 year old male and have been texting this girl for about 4 months.we've gone for walks and kissed 3 times but arent officially going out.i really really like her and she says she likes me too,but shes going away for 2 months now and i dont know what to do.i feel like theres nothing for me when shes not here and i need her company because it makes me so happy.i honestly dont think i can last 2 months without her.please help me is there anything i can do? (link)
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TELL HER THE TRUTH. Tell her that you like her otherwise she'll never know!
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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Okay so a couple of weeks ago I was thinking that me and my crush were boyfriend and girlfriend but now he went and asked out another girl. I've tried everything but it's now working? Should I make him jealous and date someone else? I don't know!?!?! (link)
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If this boy liked you, he wouldn't have left you. And to be honest, from what you wrote it sounds like he had no idea you two were dating. What might have been "dating" to you, was probably "hanging out" to him. I don't believe in dating other people to make someone else jealous because it's not fair to the poor person that you decide to "fake date" because you roped them into your drama and took advantage of their feelings for you, so making your crush jealous should not be an option.
I think the best thing for you is to just move on with your life or let your crush know how you feel in private. If he decides to stay with his new girlfriend, then you just continue with your life. You'll find the right guy eventually.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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Do boys talk about girl?
(link)
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Yes. All the time.
I hope this helped.
~Andrew~
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Hi! So I'm 14yr guy and at my school, there's a girl in my grade who ALL the guys would DIE to have her alone for 10 minutes. She's absolutely stunning. Let's call her... Maddie So Maddie the other day, was apparently doing something that was turning all o my friends on. And she came over to our table Sat in my lap and started kissing on my neck and ear. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy that, but I have a girlfriend who I (I'm a little young to really call it love) deeply care for. But all the guys at my school tell me i should dump my gf and date Maddie. Now I will , Maddie is prettier then my grade But she's a complete bi#ch (unlike my gf) . So how can I tell her I don like her without upsetting her (I'm NOT gonna be a heartbreaker) and without pissing my friends off? I'm not dumping my GF.
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Just tell Maddie the truth. YOU DON'T LIKE HER. Plain and simple. And so what if your friends get upset. THEY DON"T CONTROL YOU. Don't give in to peer pressure.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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What do you do if you have the sweetest BF but like a different guy but still wanna be with him? (link)
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Well you love them both right? Then I think you can choose the right guy by seeing which one of them loves you the same way that you love them. You have to come to a decision and stop leading the both of them on. You just have to listen to your heart and ask yourself "Who do I love most?", "Why do I love this guy and why do I love that guy?", "Which one of them truly loves me no matter what?", and "Who can I count and depend on to never leave me? Will he love me through thick and thin?".
You should ask yourself these questions to at least make your situation a bit easier. But ultimately it should be your decision.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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Soo...im 13, and my boyfriend is 14. We have been dating.for 5 months, and he wants to now become 'sexually active'. I do too its just that i know its not right. And its not him...its my body. I would love to become active with him...but, idk what to do during it. Help?!?? (link)
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I completely disagree with you guys having sex.
Have you even thought about why you want to have sex?
You guys are basically kids and you are not ready yet. I know you think you are but you're not. TRUST ME. You guys only knew eachother for 5 months. What have you learned about eachother in those 5 months other than how good he looks?
But I can't tell what to do. I just think... I know that underage sex is a BAD IDEA. I think that if you can't wait until marriage, then you should wait until you're 18 and have a better understanding about love and relationships.
I hope this helped.
~Andrew~
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