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Yeah.... girl troubles :)
Hi! So I'm 14yr guy and at my school, there's a girl in my grade who ALL the guys would DIE to have her alone for 10 minutes. She's absolutely stunning. Let's call her... Maddie So Maddie the other day, was apparently doing something that was turning all o my friends on. And she came over to our table Sat in my lap and started kissing on my neck and ear. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy that, but I have a girlfriend who I (I'm a little young to really call it love) deeply care for. But all the guys at my school tell me i should dump my gf and date Maddie. Now I will , Maddie is prettier then my grade But she's a complete bi#ch (unlike my gf) . So how can I tell her I don like her without upsetting her (I'm NOT gonna be a heartbreaker) and without pissing my friends off? I'm not dumping my GF.
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Tell your GF first.
She's who you're with, she's the one you talk to. Explain the situation in detail, making sure to emphasize to her that you like her and her alone and want Maddie to leave you alone. Ask her what she thinks and tell her you think you need to say something polite yourself and you don't really know what to say.
This is purely for the sake of inclusion. You make your girlfriend feel involved, ask her advice, treat her like someone you respect and would go to for advice, and she likes it. Anyone would like feeling respected and trusted like that.
As to what you actually say, if Maddie comes over again politely decline. Be apologetic "Sorry Maddie, but I have a girlfriend and I don't want to hurt her feelings by having you sit on my lap."
If she leaves you alone after this, leave her alone. Pretend it never happened. If she continues flirting, politely decline and ask her to stop flirting with you in the future. You don't have to explain yourself beyond "No, Maddie, I have a girlfriend and I like her. I'm not leaving her for anyone."
If she flirts with you once say these things and if she doesn't let up walk away. If she comes after you after you walk away from her (right then or the next day or a week later) I would say something along the lines of "I have told you I am with someone. Acting this way is disrespectful to me and to her. Stop coming on to me. You are making me uncomfortable" and see where that gets you.
Be firm. You're a good kid, and with luck this won't turn into drama. If it does, make sure your GF already knew what was going down so that it's not a nasty surprise that hurts your relationship with the person you actually like.
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Your. gf sounds. like a really nice girl who wilk take your feelings into consideration but maddie sounds like a girl whould dump you in a week or so. and also sounds like a bit of a slut. just going round thinking kissing random guys is ok. and if you deeply care for your gf then you would tell maddie straight and you wouldn't care what your friends think good luck
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You just simply tell her that you have a girlfriend and you don't like her like that. You don't have to be mean about it, just talk to her when you're not with your friends and she's not with hers and just tell her nicely that you don't like her like that.
Your friends are guys who don't really care about how you feel about your girlfriend. They think a girl who is hot is better than a girl who is a sweet, good girl.
At least you're smart enough not to do something like that. A girl like Maddie isn't a girl you want to date. Because obviously, she just goes up to guys who are unavailable and kisses them.
If your friends get mad over something this shallow, then their not real friends. They don't control who you date. You get to choose who you date, remember that.
If they give you crap, just say that you like your girlfriend.
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Lets face it, a girl like Maddie is nothing but trouble. She acts like she wants sexual attention from all guys, any one will do as long as he's willing to use his "equipment" on her. And obviously your friends would have taken her up on that if she approached them. If she is what she seems to be, they will all get their chance.
Glad that at your age, you know how to pick a great girl. Your friends are young and don't know much about life yet. You need to not worry about hurting Maddies feelings, she'll find another guy to take her attention off you but she really doesnt care deeply enough about any person. Just tell her that you are off limits and you have absolutely no interest in her.
What I am more concerned about is since it was witnessed by quite a few people, is this scene getting back to your girlfriend. The fact that you didn't visibly protest to her on the spot might not look good for you. You need to put yourself right now in your girlfriends shoes. How would you feel if a story got back to you about some jock at school walking up to her, grabbing her and kissing her right there in front of everyone. And she didn't yell at him afterwards or slap him... Most peoples minds go into temporary shock at something totally unexpected like that and rational thought doesn't click into gear at the moment. Its only later you find yourself thinking, I wish I'd said this or done that. If I were you, I'd save this email and my response to show your girlfriend if anything does come up.
I could say to approach her and tell her outright what happened before she learns through someone else. You have nothing to hide. You did not go after Maddie. And yes, any guys body will react to having a female touch him like that...it doesnt mean his mind and heart are in it, mens bodies are naturally all created to react that way. It should not be seen as a bad thing by your girlfriend. Your girlfriend likely already knows and has heard about the reputation this girl has. A girl like that does not need any encouragement or flirting from a guy to choose to go after him. You never know but some gals are upset to see a couple dating and happy with each other and can't stand that she doesn't have it too. So she plays a game of trying to make the other girl jealous so she breaks up with her guy. But she doesnt necessary go after the guy once he's dumped, she just can't stand seeing other people happy. I am writing some of this for your girlfriend in mind to read if anything goes wrong. Blessings to you and your girl young man
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Just tell Maddie the truth. YOU DON'T LIKE HER. Plain and simple. And so what if your friends get upset. THEY DON"T CONTROL YOU. Don't give in to peer pressure.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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Firstly, if your friends are the type to dictate who your GF should be, don't be friends with them anymore!
I think perhaps the reason this Maddie likes you is to do with the psychology of attraction. You have a girlfriend. So at the present moment she can't have you. This makes her want you. Follow?
I think you need to say that you could always be friends with her, and perhaps offer to find her another bf? To be honest, you could use the situation of the kissing on the neck to your advantage. You could say 'I thought it was a little bit inappropriate'.
So what if you upset her? Its girls like this that need to be put down a peg or two.
I think though, the best thing to do is to speak to her. Say 'I just don't see you in that way' or 'I'm flattered, but I shall have to say no'.
The 'seeing you in that way' is quite a good one to use. If she's the type of girl who sits on your lap, then she's only in it for physical love, not the perhaps caring love that you have with your girlfriend.
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