Most people practice what is called serial monogamy. They date one person only at a time...committed to only them until the relationship ends and they move on to the next one. You need to ask yourself if you just like the boyfriend or really love him. What about the 2nd guy? Are you just attracted to his looks or do you feel in love with him also? Do you know for sure if he has a mutual interest in you too? Most people will just date the one they are with long enough to determine if this is someone they want to be with long-term. If not, they break up and then they move on to the other they are interested in.
It is possible to be in love with one man and yet have another catch our eye. When we are in the stage of still learning what it is we like in the opposite sex, we may find bits and pieces in many different guys that we like along with the things in each that we don't like. I believe this process can be done with dating multiple people at the same time as long as you are open up front with a guy and let him know you are in the stage of determining which guy most closely resembles the male you want to live the rest of your life with. So you are not making any commitments or promises. Part of the process is also determining if you are sexually compatible and with many guys, you just can't know until you've actually been sexual with them.
Younger guys who don't want the pressure of a girl who wants to settle down soon are more likely to be okay with this as well as older guys who have been divorced and not in a hurry to get married until they are more sure this time around.
While you may eventually find a guy to be a mate who has most the qualities you like, it's pretty much impossible to find one who has all the qualities in the one person. Some people turn to polyamory for those very reasons. But before you entertain that thought, is what you are looking for in a guy a need or a want? A need is something you must have like some people will only be in relationship/marry another person who is of the same faith. A want is like the icing on the cake, like a guy who likes to wear his hair long, something you are attracted to but not necessary, something you can live without.
There are some people wired to be monogamous and others who find they are attracted to many and able to be in love with more than one at once. That is called Polyamory. Here's a link to a gal that explains it perfectly in just over 4 min.
So I do not have an easy answer for you. You still need to determine what you are looking for, what matters most to you. Are you dating for fun and just to have occasional activity partners for now, or are you ready to look for a mate for life? [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
Drewb13 answered Sunday June 2 2013, 4:34 pm: Well you love them both right? Then I think you can choose the right guy by seeing which one of them loves you the same way that you love them. You have to come to a decision and stop leading the both of them on. You just have to listen to your heart and ask yourself "Who do I love most?", "Why do I love this guy and why do I love that guy?", "Which one of them truly loves me no matter what?", and "Who can I count and depend on to never leave me? Will he love me through thick and thin?".
You should ask yourself these questions to at least make your situation a bit easier. But ultimately it should be your decision.
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