Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


i can't choose between 2 guys!!!!!!!!!!!


Question Posted Sunday June 2 2013, 9:55 am

What do you do if you have the sweetest BF but like a different guy but still wanna be with him?

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


Pyromoo answered Monday June 3 2013, 4:19 am:
Friends with benifits,

that's the only solution without picking sides

[ Pyromoo's advice column | Ask Pyromoo A Question
]




Dragonflymagic answered Sunday June 2 2013, 6:30 pm:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)


Most people practice what is called serial monogamy. They date one person only at a time...committed to only them until the relationship ends and they move on to the next one. You need to ask yourself if you just like the boyfriend or really love him. What about the 2nd guy? Are you just attracted to his looks or do you feel in love with him also? Do you know for sure if he has a mutual interest in you too? Most people will just date the one they are with long enough to determine if this is someone they want to be with long-term. If not, they break up and then they move on to the other they are interested in.
It is possible to be in love with one man and yet have another catch our eye. When we are in the stage of still learning what it is we like in the opposite sex, we may find bits and pieces in many different guys that we like along with the things in each that we don't like. I believe this process can be done with dating multiple people at the same time as long as you are open up front with a guy and let him know you are in the stage of determining which guy most closely resembles the male you want to live the rest of your life with. So you are not making any commitments or promises. Part of the process is also determining if you are sexually compatible and with many guys, you just can't know until you've actually been sexual with them.

Younger guys who don't want the pressure of a girl who wants to settle down soon are more likely to be okay with this as well as older guys who have been divorced and not in a hurry to get married until they are more sure this time around.
While you may eventually find a guy to be a mate who has most the qualities you like, it's pretty much impossible to find one who has all the qualities in the one person. Some people turn to polyamory for those very reasons. But before you entertain that thought, is what you are looking for in a guy a need or a want? A need is something you must have like some people will only be in relationship/marry another person who is of the same faith. A want is like the icing on the cake, like a guy who likes to wear his hair long, something you are attracted to but not necessary, something you can live without.

There are some people wired to be monogamous and others who find they are attracted to many and able to be in love with more than one at once. That is called Polyamory. Here's a link to a gal that explains it perfectly in just over 4 min.


[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)

So I do not have an easy answer for you. You still need to determine what you are looking for, what matters most to you. Are you dating for fun and just to have occasional activity partners for now, or are you ready to look for a mate for life?

[ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question
]



Drewb13 answered Sunday June 2 2013, 4:34 pm:
Well you love them both right? Then I think you can choose the right guy by seeing which one of them loves you the same way that you love them. You have to come to a decision and stop leading the both of them on. You just have to listen to your heart and ask yourself "Who do I love most?", "Why do I love this guy and why do I love that guy?", "Which one of them truly loves me no matter what?", and "Who can I count and depend on to never leave me? Will he love me through thick and thin?".

You should ask yourself these questions to at least make your situation a bit easier. But ultimately it should be your decision.

I hope this helps.

~Andrew~

[ Drewb13's advice column | Ask Drewb13 A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: what do you do when you like someone else?
Next Question >>> Fordyce spot swollen,dont know what to do

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker