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Why are you ignoring me? he said
I am talking to a old flig i used to have 5 years ago.
We have been talking for about a month and the sparks are flying high for one another. A couple of days ago he had asked me for a picture, so i gave it to him. Yesterday he had asked me for another one, I said no because I had 0 and he had 1. He of course pleaded and begged me to give him one. So I asked for my friends advice and she said just to give him one. I ended up giving him 3 pictures b/c my friend said they all looked nice. I was waiting for him to give me one of him but he never did. that night he called me just wanting to talk. While we were on the phone he was texting someone, for some reason I have the feeling that he was texting another girl because what guy at night while he is talking to a girl be texting a guy? Am i right?! LOL
I pretended like it didn't bother me or i didn't notice. While i was on the phone with him all of the sudden it went silent like i was placed on hold...so i just hung up ...After my night shift ended and i was driving home thinking about what happened last night i feel like the idiot that gave him 4 pictures in total when i don't have any! and the texting thing while i was on the phone also bothers me....I'm so mad and so hurt that i just started to ignore him...well i guessed he noticed because now his text says why are you ignoring me? and idk what to say....any advice??
PLEASE HELP!!! :'(
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Firstly it was a stupidity of yours to send him pictures of yours because he may blackmail you later.Ignoring him was a good thing but as i previously said he may blackmail you my opinion is to cut every contact with him and if he keeps it going and takes it too far go to the police
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Well, in my opinion,I don't think you should be with this guy. Sending pictures of yourself is very risky and you shouldn't send him pictures unless you know you're getting a picture back Dirty pictures, however, are a bit different. Kids aren't really supposed to send dirty pictures, but at the end of the day everyone makes their own decisions.
But back to your question, this guy sounds like a complete jerk. He asked you multiple times for pictures and you think he was texting while talking to you. If you want to still try and make this friendship or relationship work, then you need to tell him how you feel. Don't have all these suspicions and not get any answers for them. You deserve to know if he's fully committed to your friendship or relationship.
Well I hope this helps,
Andrew
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Your P.S. of him not currently having a girlfriend, has me suspecting that without a sexual outlet, and his having a great need for one, that it may be the reason he looked you up again by calling. He wanted the photos, and to hear your voice cus if just photos of a woman would do it for him, he'd be viewing womens pic's on the net.
He already knows that he can get off with you due to having a fling in the past. What you may think was texting, or why the line went silent, just might be cus he was masturbating but didn't feel comfortable telling you.
It may have been ordinary conversation you were engaging in, not phone sex conversation so thats why you don't have a clue, but just hearing the sound of your voice along with your photos may have been enough for him, and a plausible explanation for what you experienced.
There's no way to know for sure though.
I see you noticed that he did not reciprocate with photos of himself to you. Pretending all was okay, and not communicating how you are feeling about the situation wasn't the best way to handle it. Good communication is important in any kind of interaction with another human being, no matter what the relationship.
But important to keep in mind when communicating, never to point the finger and make accusations of what you think he was doing, just in case you are wrong cus that will drive a wedge between you.
Honesty is still the best policy. You can tell him how you felt in your own words something like this:
When you asked why I am ignoring you, I realized that I subconsciously disengaged myself from talking with you because though we've talked, we haven't really shared information that is important as to why we are talking and flirting and sharing photos. I was hoping you'd volunteer that information without me having to ask and when you didn't and I wasn't sure how to ask, I began to ignore you. Yes. Here's my best explanation for what thought processes my mind has been going through:
When you asked for a photo of me and then for more, it felt odd to me, since we are not in a relationship. All we had was being mutual sex partners for a while which never developed into an ongoing relationship. So when out of the blue, 5 years later, you contacted me at a time I know that you do not have a current girlfriend and taking into account that you must have sexual needs and urges, I hope you can understand my wondering exactly where this is going after a month? If since you are single and also have grown and changed as a person and are ready to try a real honest relationship with me again, I am willing but I need you to be upfront with me about it. If since you have no current sex partner, you are only hoping to use me to fill the empty space, companionship wise, or sexually via photos and flirting until you do find a new girlfriend, I need you to be honest and upfront with me about that too. I may or may not be willing, but to assume it is okay without asking first doesnt totally sit well with me. I am seem like I am okay with it all cus I have been flirting back but I require something more than a superficial relationship, or a partially fantasy one via internet, photos, and phone. I am worth more than that. So tell me whats going on in your mind.
Then wait for him to explain himself. If you don't get any explanation from him, he's using you.
If he says he didn't know how to ask but would like to try dating you again now that you're both older and wiser, then if you are willing, say yes.
Guys can change.
If he admits he is wanting the sexual stimulation of pics(even clothed photos of you) the flirting via phone but didn't want to be so bold as to ask you if you;d be willing to have a sexual fling again, then if you also want to take advantage of it, since you don't have a boyfriend, agree to it with him, but be upfront that this is only a sexual thing until you meet the guy you will have a life long relationship with. Or if you don't want to be a semi sexual fling via the phone for him, be honest with him. Tell him that doesnt work for you anymore. You require more out of a guy.
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