I'm a thirteen-year-old who loves writing, playing piano, and giving advice. I'm happy to answer any question you ask me, and I'll give you the best advice I can. I like answering love life and mental health questions, as well as ones about LGBTQ issues.
I'm going to say a little more about me. I love Greek mythology, and my favorite Greek god is Athena, the goddess of wisdom. (You can tell from my username.)
I believe strongly in equality for all people. And I think no one should ever be discriminated because they are different.
I love it when people use proper spelling and grammar in their questions and answers -- I know I always try to do so (but like every other human being, I make mistakes sometimes). It makes you look smarter, and it's so much easier to read!
One more thing . . . this is an awesome advice site! Several of the people on here give really helpful advice and answers. The least I can do is give some advice back.
E-mail: athena4896@gmail.com
Age: 13
Member Since: August 22, 2013
Answers: 67
Last Update: December 28, 2013
Visitors: 5236
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I have started to masturbate a lot lately í'm 14 male it feels really good the other day my mom nearly caught me i want to keep masturbating but i'm worried i'll get caught what should i do? (link)
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Masturbating at this age is perfectly normal, several other teens your age do it too. To avoid getting caught, make sure you have the door locked when you masturbate. Another idea is to do it in the shower.
I was caught once, and it was embarrassing, no doubt about that. My mom walked in on me and I just said, "Maybe next time you'll knock." But usually if you get walked in on it's best to say that you're sorry and you'll be more careful next time. Usually they will just pretend nothing ever happened.
Okay . . . this idea is stupid, but it's possible to make a joke out of it, by saying something like one of these:
"What happened to my wiener?! It's all swollen!"
"Wanna join?"
"Oh no! I accidentally shot the dog!"
Never mind. I think masturbating in the shower or with the door locked is the best idea. :)
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how will i stop missing someone who is always in my mind? (link)
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Trying to avoid missing someone will only make you miss them more (I know this from experience). It's normal to miss someone you care about, so give yourself time.
Distracting yourself with other things might also help. Find a new hobby or hang out with other friends. Just because you miss the person doesn't mean you can't have fun. :)
Maybe you can set a goal for yourself. Focus on something else you need to do in life.
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Ok, so tomorrow me and my boyfriend are going to kiss for the first time and I have no idea how to kiss! im totally screwed please help! (link)
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When it's the right time for you to kiss, it should just come naturally. There is no perfect way to kiss.
Wait for the right time. You don't really want to have your first kiss at a random moment after class -- wait for a romantic moment when you two are alone together.
Putting on some lip balm and popping a breath mint in your mouth a little while before the kiss might be a good idea.
When you feel ready to kiss, and when the time feels right, there are some signs you can give to show that you feel ready. Lean in a little bit and make eye contact. Get caught looking at his lips. Give him a romantic compliment, and try saying it in a soft voice. You can also put an arm around him if you want to or do other things to hint your intentions.
You two will most likely find yourselves leaning in toward each other. When this happens, just close your eyes and go for it. Keep your lips parted slightly -- but only a teeny bit. Also keep your lips soft and avoid letting your lips smack.
Keep the kisses gentle and soft at first. And do something with your hands. Maybe you could place them lightly on his shoulders or something similar. After you kiss, you can just remain silent and hug him.
I hope I was able to help! And remember that kissing isn't as complicated as it might seem. Everything will turn out fine, I promise. Just relax and enjoy the kiss when the time is right for it.
Good luck!
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So i was dating this girl. we broke up. because i was into someone else. then she told me she wanted to get back together. i still love her. but i like someone else. i don't know how to tell her that i want to move on. i know if i tell her she'll be heart broken. but i know pretending to love someone when you don't is bad to. help? :c (link)
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Hi there. I'm in a similar situation, but it is the other way around. I was dating this amazing, beautiful girl, but then she dumped me because she liked another guy. She said she still loved me and would get back together with me someday, but she pays less and less attention to me, and I think she wants to move on.
I think being honest is the best thing to do. You should make it clear that you don't want to be with her anymore.
So just tell her that the time you spent apart gave you a chance to reflect and grow. Tell her she will always have a special place in your heart, but that your life has grown in a different direction.
I think that will be the least hurtful way. No matter how you say it, though, it will hurt. But you shouldn't have to pretend to love someone just to make them happy.
Good luck.
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Now please don't criticize too harshly, I'm already insecure enough. But I feel like I was meant to be born a guy. And that being born a girl was a mistake. I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual, but I want to be who I think I was meant to be. Am I sane...? :\
(Sorry, didn't know what other category to ask this.) (link)
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First of all, I'm not going to criticize you. :) And you're not crazy at all! The way you feel is fine.
Based on what you have written, I think you might be transgender. That's because you were born female, but you feel like you were meant to be born a guy.
I think you should check out this article. It might help you better understand what being transgender means:
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/transgender.html#cat20015
I think seeing a psychologist will help you. A psychologist can help you accept and understand the way you feel, help you feel less confused, and give you options for what to do later in your life.
Just remember this: you're not crazy, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling this way. And only you can decide what your true gender is. Your gender identity isn't something that other people can define for you.
I hope everything goes well for you. :) And if you have any other questions about your gender identity and how to deal with feeling this way, you can inbox me anytime.
~Athena
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Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 weeks now and latly hes been trying to get close i think? He's been giving me his jacket and love notes also compliments. So i wondering how our relationship is going so far? And r we taking to fast? (link)
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It seems like your relationship is going well so far. :)
Whether or not you are taking things too fast is something that depends on the couple. If you both feel comfortable moving at this pace, then it's fine. But if you feel like your boyfriend is rushing you or insisting that you do things you aren't ready for, then that wouldn't be so good.
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I'm a thirteen year old girl in 8th grade and this guy asked me out. I don't like him. He is more my friend. When he asked, I was frazzled so I said I have to think about it. I want to be friends with him still without making it awkward. What should I say tomorrow at school?
P.S.-Everyone in the school knew he was gonna ask me out. And people were telling him that I was interested. (link)
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Hi! You know, part of being a girl is turning down guys sometimes when they ask you out. It's important to respect the guy's feelings without making it seem like you want to go out with him.
I understand that other kids at school want to see what happens and all that. But I think it is not the best idea to reject him in front of everyone.
When you do tell him, it's important to remain calm and polite. Calmly explain how you feel. Say something like, "I'm flattered that you like me, because you are a nice guy. I just don't like you in that way, though, but I hope we can still be friends." But you can say whatever you think feels right.
After saying what you want to say, watch his reaction.
- If he mentions wanting to still be friends or seems okay with your decision, say you're glad you can still be friends.
- If he begs you to go out with him, be a little more firm.
- If he looks like he's about to cry, tell him you're sorry and say you'll still be there for him as a friend. Then leave for class because he might think you really do like him if you stay.
I hope I helped!
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Hi 14/F. So this guy and me are friends and i really really like him* i don't know if he likes me* he say he loves me and hold my hand for almost 2min. Do he like me? (link)
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I think he might like you if he says he loves you and holds your hand. But he might just be a natural flirt.
Anyway, there are ways to tell if a guy likes you. I think this article will help. It covers things like body language, physical touch, things he says, and other indicators that he likes you.
http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-a-Guy-Likes-You
Good luck! I hope things go well for you.
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how can i kill me (link)
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I cannot tell you how to kill yourself. I'm going to help you find a way to keep living.
First off, I feel the same way as you do. So I'm going to tell you what has happened to me. I hope hearing about my story will help you.
I have felt suicidal and depressed on and off for years. One day a couple weeks ago, I decided that there was no point in living anymore, so I tried to kill myself. But in that moment I realized that killing myself wouldn't do any good. I realized that suicide wouldn't fix my life -- instead, it would end the chances of life ever getting better for me.
And I'm only thirteen. I'm too young to die. I don't know how old you are, but I know you have a lot to live for.
I was so lucky that I didn't hurt myself any more than I did. I woke my mom up and told her what I had tried to do, and I had to stay in the emergency room for hours. I had to go to a mental hospital after that. At first, I just wanted to get the heck out of that place. But then I realized that it would actually help me. They started me on medication and helped me find better ways to cope with the pain.
I learned that suicidal thoughts happen when the pain outweighs the coping resources. Now I am starting to see hope, and I know I have a future. I hope you will get help and find a way to keep living, just like I have been doing.
I think you should look at these. They helped me somewhat, and I think they will help you too:
http://www.metanoia.org/
http://areason.org/
http://suicide.com/
I also think you need someone to talk to. Confiding in a close friend or family member is one option (if you haven't already), but you can also call a suicide hotline.
You can email me any time if you want someone to talk with. My email is athena4896@gmail.com.
You might feel like there is no more hope in this world, but hold on to the hope that things will get better. You can get help from a therapist or psychiatrist.
Is there anything other than killing yourself that can be done to alleviate your problems? You can leave town and start fresh somewhere else. You can transfer schools. You can break up with your partner/get a divorce (depending on your age).
What will you be missing out on if you die? You will be missing out on being alive and feeling emotion, for a start. You will never see your friends and family again. Speaking of your friends and family, they will feel awful if you kill yourself. They will blame themselves, and if you write a suicide note, they will read it over and over again and wonder what they could have done differently.
If you feel like no one loves you, let me remind you that there is always someone who cares about you even if you don't know it.
I think you should find something to do that you enjoy. I recommend doing exercise because it really helps relieve stress. Meditation and yoga are the same way.
I really enjoy writing, art, and music. Depending on who you are, that kind of thing might help you, too. But look around to see what interests you and makes you feel better.
Please stay strong and find a way to enjoy life again. Remember that many other people have gone through this exact same thing -- including me -- but they were able to get help and then keep living.
Don't give up. I believe in you.
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Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a month. Recently, we haven't been seeing eachother as much because he got moved to different classes at school.
Well, he hasn't been texting me as much and I think he has feelings for another girl. Is there any "signs" to look for? And how can I save our relationship? (link)
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Hi! I know what it feels like to think your partner wants to break up with you. It's never easy, especially when you really want to stay with them. There are a few signs to look for:
- He seems to avoid you, and he breaks plans.
- He flirts with other girls in front of you and seems to have feelings for another girl.
- He talks to you less and is less interested in conversations.
- He hangs with girls you don't like.
- When you talk on the phone, he keeps saying he has to leave.
I'm assuming that he's showing some of these signs. What I think you can do is back off for a few days and maybe act like you're less interested. He might realize how much you mean to him. Or you can just act natural. Just make sure you don't bug him about it or beg him to tell you if he wants to break up (but I'm sure you won't do that).
There is a chance that he's just under pressure right now. But if he does break up with you, take a deep breath and say you'll miss him and that he can talk to you if he needs anything.
And if he acts like a jerk, let him know it.
I hope I was able to help. Good luck!
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Please tel the way to die? (link)
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I feel the same way as you do. I hate life and often feel like death is the only option . . . but I have realized that it isn't. Even though things can get hard sometimes, they do get better. You don't have to feel like this forever -- you can get help and start to enjoy life.
Read one of these. It will only take a couple minutes.
http://areason.org/
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Ask yourself, "Do I really want to die?" It's a hard question to answer for many people. But you probably don't really want to die -- you just want the pain to end. Life for you right now is so awful that it makes you feel like death is the only solution.
Suicide is a solution -- but it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And it doesn't really make things better -- it ends the chances of things ever getting better again.
I think you should call a suicide hotline. One you can call is 1-800-273-8255.
Is there anything other than killing yourself that can be done to alleviate your problems? You can leave town and start fresh somewhere else. You can transfer schools. You can break up with your partner/get a divorce (I don't know what your age is).
What things have you been wanting to do before you die? If you kill yourself, you will never eat your favorite food again or watch your favorite TV show. Your unfinished story will never get published.
If you are using a hotline for support, but you still want to die, tell them who you are and where you are. Or call 911 or a hospital. They will send help to you.
Seek the help of a psychiatrist or psychologist. You are depressed, and this kind of thing can help.
Even though you might not know it, there are people out there who love you. Hold on to the hope that your life will get better for you. It will if you get help.
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I am 15/male i've never had a girlfriend i'm a little shy around girls and well this is a bit embarrassing my penis is not that big not sure if a girl would want to be with me does it matter much to girls? will it grow? (link)
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Hi! First of all, you're still fifteen and still growing. Your penis will grow too.
Second of all, think about the things that are really important to girls. If you have a nice personality and treat girls right, they won't care that much about how big your penis is. And if a girl does mind that it's small, forget about her! You don't want to be with someone who will judge you by something as trivial as the size of your penis.
I'm a girl who likes girls. I look for girls who are kind, thoughtful, and funny, as well as girls who have a unique personality. I don't judge them by whether they have nice breasts or nice butts. Size and appearance don't mean anything to me if a girl isn't nice.
It seems like you're also worried about being able to get girls to like you. I found an article about making good first impressions on girls, and I hope it helps.
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Good-Impression-on-Girls
I hope I was able to help! Don't worry about it. If a girl is worth your time, she will care more about your personality than your appearance.
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I can't say my partner is good at kissing. He's not very experienced in that area and I haven't said anything to him about it.
I don't want to randomly point it out and hurt his ego while we're in the mood so what should I do?
He uses a lot tongue and opens his mouth up and little too much, it's really hard for me to follow.
Is there any subtle way to show him or do I have to straight up tell him? If so, how do I do it? (link)
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Hi! Not everyone starts out as a great kisser, and people have different preferences. I recommend that you say something to him about it. Maybe you could sit down with him sometime and tell him how you like to be kissed. By doing this, you won't be directly criticizing his technique but simply letting him know about your preferences.
You can try telling him not to move his lips or do anything and then kiss him how you like to be kissed. Ask him to do the same thing back. From there, give him some more tips on how to do it and what you like.
I found an article that might help you as well:
http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-a-Bad-Kisser
Good luck!
~Athena
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Well, I like this girl. I've gone to the movies with her. I hug her all the time and hang out with her. I'm a girl too, and I think that she is straight. I want to know if she feels the same as me, but I don't want to creep her out. What do I do? All advice welcome xx
F/13 (link)
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Hi! I'm thirteen and I am extremely girl-crazy, and I know how it feels to like a girl who is (probably) straight. It stinks, doesn't it?
I don't know if you are gay, bisexual, or straight but curious. But I will answer this assuming you are gay or bisexual.
I think it is your choice whether you tell her you like her or not. Telling her directly that you like her might be a little risky, so I think you should give her a few hints and see how she responds.
You can try wearing rainbow jewelry, or you can bring up an LGBTQ issue with her and see how she reacts. If she acts disgusted about it, then she is probably straight and homophobic. But if she reacts well, then she is either bi/gay or just supports the LGBTQ community.
Commenting on the appearances of girls (or even commenting on your friend's good looks) is another idea.
I found a couple articles that I think might help you a little with finding out your friend's orientation and giving her hints:
http://www.wikihow.com/Discreetly-Find-out-if-Someone-You-Know-Is-Gay
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Girl's-Attention-if-You-Are-a-Girl
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should give her some hints. If she doesn't respond well, then you should move on to liking someone else and stick to being just friends with this girl.
Good luck!
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Okay so I'm a 16 year old girl and i dated this guy named nick for about 2 months then i broke up with him because i didn't like what some people said about us and i started not wanting to be around him all the time then about 2 months after we broke up i started dating this other guy named jacob and we've been together for 8 months now, but i miss nick alot and i still feel like i really like him and recently ive been thinking about being in a relationship with him again and i think he might still like me back due to our convos, but i also really like jacob and i dont know if i want to break up with him because i enjoy myself when im around him. So i guess my question is should i stay with jacob and forget about nick or should i end it with jacob and try to work things out with nick? (link)
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Hi! Choosing between two people can be hard. Just remember that you don't have to rush the decision. Wait until you know what you think is right before doing anything.
I haven't been in this situation myself. But I think that if you like Jacob and enjoy being with him, you could leave Nick in the past. But if your feelings for Jacob have changed, and you don't enjoy being with him anymore, you can try to work things out with Nick.
I found an article that I think will help you make this decision. I hope it helps.
http://www.wikihow.com/Choose-Between-Two-Guys
Good luck!
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There's this guy I like but ive never gone up to him or said anything to him. What do I do? (link)
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Because you haven't gone up to him or said anything to him, I'm assuming that you are somewhat shy. Being shy isn't a bad thing, but it helps to have a little more confidence. Guys are typically more attracted to confident, interesting girls. Be happy with who you are. Find a quality about yourself that you like and let it shine through.
This guy's immediate impression of you is going to be based on how you look, so looking your best is also going to be somewhat helpful. Find something about yourself that you think is pretty -- for example, you might like your hair or your eyes. Try emphasizing the features that you like about yourself. When you do makeup, try to keep it natural -- you don't want people to think that you've spent hours on your makeup just to impress someone.
Walking up to this guy and starting a conversation might seem awkward, so start out by simply waving to him when you walk past him and smiling. You can also say hi if you feel comfortable doing it.
When you feel brave enough, try complimenting him. For example, you could compliment him on a presentation he did for class or how well he did in a soccer game. Try having something cool to talk about to show him that you're an interesting person. You can also ask him questions to get to know him better. But whatever you do, be yourself. Don't put on an act just to impress him.
I also recommend letting a trusted friend know about this. They can help make things less awkward.
Basically, I think you should be friendly with this guy, try talking to him, and be yourself. Hope this helps!
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Is there any guys who are single in coeur d alene Idaho I am13 and really want/need a bf (link)
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I suggest doing one of the following:
1. Talk to the boys at your school more and get to know them.
2. Be happy being single.
Before you try to get a boyfriend, however, you will need to learn how to be single and happy. A boyfriend should not complete you; he should only improve you. You should already be an interesting, happy person before you get a boyfriend.
Being single actually has many benefits. Think about it:
- You can be yourself and not worry about impressing your partner.
- You don't have to worry about having a broken heart if he breaks up with you.
- You don't have to worry about cheating.
- You have more time with your friends, and you don't have to worry about including your boyfriend in everything.
- You don't have to deal with the awkwardness of going on dates. I mean, you don't have to worry about what you wear, and you won't have to do anything you don't want to do.
Remember: real couples don't have perfect lives. It can actually be really messy. I'm talking about cheating, breaking up (which would eventually happen unless you got married), and broken hearts.
Instead of focusing on getting a boyfriend, focus on being the best person you can be first. Learn to be confident and happy with who you are.
And don't forget to have fun! Because you don't have a boyfriend yet, you only have to please yourself. Go take up a new hobby or spend more time with your friends. Do everything that the opposite gender wouldn't want to do.
Don't go looking for love -- instead, let love find you. And make sure you enjoy your time being single before that happens.
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Okay so my boyfriend is moving to a differnt town like in 3 months . & i want to make these three momths AMAZING .. ! i need some tips on how too .. & also something that i can give him to keep when he goes away so he can remember me .. by the way i only see him in school so we always hangout at lunch alone so how can i make these three months amazing while being at school ..? (link)
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Hi! I'm sorry that you're boyfriend will be moving in a few months -- it's hard when that happens.
First, I'm going to give you a few ideas for goodbye presents. One thing I recommend is making something yourself. Something like a heartfelt poem or note that he can read when he's missing you is a good idea. I wrote a sweet poem for my favorite teacher last year as a goodbye present, and she loved it! Your boyfriend might like that kind of thing as well. Another idea is to take a box and put things in it that will remind him of you and his favorite things from home.
Now for what to do for the last three months. I guess your options are somewhat limited if you are just hanging out at lunch, but I have a few ideas.
- Write a poem together or write your love story. You can each keep a copy of it after your boyfriend moves.
- Come up behind him when he doesn't know it and give him a hug.
- Draw together. (It doesn't matter if you aren't a good artist -- even drawing a heart around your initials is fine. But if you are a good drawer, that's great!)
- Tell each other your secrets/fears (if you haven't already).
- Learn to say sweet things in different languages.
- Find a quiet, secluded place and talk about how you guys first met and why you like each other.
- Have a ring pop wedding (this is good for laughs).
- Read a chapter of a book each night and talk about it the next day at lunch. This also works with TV shows.
I hope I was able to help. You and your boyfriend can also be creative and think of more things to do together. I hope things go well for you!
~Athena
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So my boyfriend told me hes moving like in a couple months to a other town ... i really like him !! i dont want to lose him .... i really dont ... i would want some ideas that can help me so he can stay ... i think he can am not sure.. but any ideas ..? (link)
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First of all, if he moved, you wouldn't be losing him. You would just have a long distance relationship. I'm in a long distance relationship with someone, and I'm just as happy as I would be in a relationship where the two of us could see each other every day.
I don't know how you would be able to make him stay. So I will give you some tips on what to do if he does move.
Remember, it isn't like he's going to dump you or anything! You can still have a relationship, even if you're in different towns. Also, it would still be possible for you to visit him, and you can stay in contact. I think it will be best to contact him at least once a day. This doesn't have to mean phone calls that last an hour or more -- it just means checking in with him daily. Any contact, even if it's short, is much better than none.
Although you might not be able to change the fact that he's moving, what you can change is how you look at the situation. Instead of thinking of the fact that he's moving as a loss, think of it as an adventure. You can take trips to see each other, and the times you spend together in the future will be even more special now.
This is a quote I like that my significant other shared with me: "Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be. . . ."
Long distance relationships can sometimes even bring people closer together. You'll rely more on conversation and really listen to everything that's going on his life. Speaking of conversation, living in different places will give you more interesting things to talk about. But you don't always have to talk about exciting things -- simply talking about your day is fine.
One benefit of long distance relationships is personal space and independence. Sometimes, it can really be nice to just be alone. The distance might sometimes feel like a burden, but you can also enjoy it. Long distance relationships can be a reminder that you can still have fun without him beside you.
You guys can have fun together in many ways -- and you can try things that you never thought of trying before. Don't let the fact that you won't be physically with him stop you from enjoying your relationship. There are some websites online that have suggestions for things to do in a long distance relationship, and there is one website that I go on often to find things to do with my significant other.
http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/thingsforldrcouplestodo.html
Before he moves, you two can give each other a present so you can remember one another -- something to hold on to when you miss each other. After he moves, you can send each other presents often as well. Random presents can show him that you're always thinking about him and that he's very important to you.
I hope I was able to help! Remember, even though you won't be physically next to one another, you'll still be together. And he'll still be in your heart.
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a guy in my class has a huge crush on me and he has told me that, i don't want to be mean but i also don't want to go out with him! help!! (link)
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That's one part of being a girl. Guys are going to ask you out, and sometimes you won't like them back and have to say no.
It's good that you do not want to hurt this guy's feelings or be mean. Being generous of his feelings is one of the first steps in turning him down. I'm going to try to help you turn him down without sounding mean -- while still making it clear that you don't like him in that way.
First of all, try to avoid rejecting him in front of everyone. It's a bit cruel.
When you do tell him, it's important to remain calm and polite. Calmly explain how you feel. Say something like, "I'm flattered that you like me, because you are a nice guy. I just don't like you in that way, though, but I hope we can still be friends."
Watch his reaction.
- If he mentions wanting to still be friends or seems okay with your decision, say you're glad you can still be friends.
- If he begs you to go out with him, be a little more firm.
- If he looks like he's about to cry, tell him you're sorry and say you'll still be there for him as a friend. Then leave for class because he might think you really do like him if you stay.
One last thing . . . if he bullies you or becomes violent, tell an adult.
Remember, you should give this guy some respect, but you don't need to give him a yes.
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