NinjaNeer's advice column

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Q: Ok, this is not at all saying that i'm fat or that i think i'm ugly or anything so please don't respond with, "You should be comfortable with yourself, just the way you are." I'm healthy and physically fit, but i want to tone up my thighs and my butt...no clue how to go about doing that. Help please?

Well, I did karate for 7 years and these are some exercises that really helped me tone up my butt and thighs...

Squat and Kick: Put your feet a little more than shoulder width apart, then bend your knees so that your thighs are parallel to the ground. Stand up, putting your weight on your left foot, then do a kick with your right. Repeat for the other side, and do it as many times as you can.

Doggy Kicks: Get on the floor on your hands and knees, then lift your leg like a dog peeing, bent at the knee. Extend your leg back, keeping it parallel to the ground, and bring it back in. Do that till your buns burn!

Q: Does anybody own the new OK Go cd? the one called "Oh No"? because i just bought it and the back of the CD says there are 13 songs on it. but when i play it there are 14. the last song lasts 10 minutes, but it isn't really a song. it is mostly just quit, and then you can hear random footsteps and some other noises and occasionally a girl laughing. what is this?

don't answer this unless you have the CD and have heard this. or is this just my CD?

Often CDs will have bonus tracks that can be totally random. I've heard ones that are just the band talking, weird instrumentals, etc. It's my guess that all of the CDs have this.

Q: at what age do you have to get that checkup the gyno one? and im young and i am not a virgin. And i dont want the doctor to know that. But just what age?

You're actually supposed to go to the gynecologist starting when you become sexually active, or at eighteen. It's far more important to be safe than it is to save face in front of your doctor, so make an appointment as soon as you can!

Q: hi, well the other day i saw this video on how they kill animals for human consumtion, and i decided to turn vegetarian after seeing it. any tips for me on going about this? and are there any alternatives to meat?because i love my meat

I respect your decision to become vegetarian, but think about this...

How many hectares of rainforest are cut down for soy farming every year? How many animals are needlessly killed when their habitat is destroyed for people who are bovine rights activists?

You see, there's another side to every argument ;)

Q:
If you wanna just skip all this and get to the question, Then look at the very bottom.

Okay, I really didn't know what category to put all this under, because it's a variety of issues I'm having, yet it basically all comes down to one thing, Self-esteem.
This might be long, so I'm sorry, in advance, if you get a little confused. But to me there is no way for me to make this any less complicated unless I type out the WHOLE thing.

I have a weight issue, and this is where it all started, In 8th grade. [I'm in 10th now] I've been chubby all my life..starting from 3rd grade, & I had been dancing up until 2 years ago. Well, getting to the main point.. I was 4'11 and weighed about 118, and I was really er..chubby. That was until 8th grade, I got taller..about 5'4, and weighed the same. When I had returned back to school, I had gotten lots of compliments on my appearance and that it looked like I had lost alot of weight. Which wasn't really the case, but it dawned on me that I liked hearing these compliments, [who doesn't?] and I wanted more, so I started going days without eating, and exercising. Now, Before that, My best friend since 4th grade, was practically my "sister". I was ALWAYS at her house whenever I had the chance, which was pretty much every weekend. We always hung out, but when I stopped eating I started losing interest in socializing, and about the middle of 8th grade, we didn't hang out as much..and we hardly talked. I was obsessed with wanting to lose weight, and I'd get upset and hurt myself if I ate that day or even gained weight. I've always been a quiet person, and this really didn't help. Now, I'm always worrying about my appearance, & I can't seem to make any new friends because I'm so worried about what they'll think of me, not to mention I've "reunited"? with my best friend from 4th grade, after us fighting because of some lame loser she was 'friends' with. I've lost most of the friends I've had from dance because I quit. I've told my mom I lost interest in dancing, But I didn't. I couldn't stand the fact that I looked fat in my costumes.

I don't mean to tell a story or anything, But the reason why I'm writing is, I can't take it anymore. My dad constantly puts me down, telling me I look fat, and that I'm ugly, and going through my clothes saying this-or-that is too small for me, then tries to throw it away.I'm tired of always feeling like crap about my appearance, and constantly worrying about if I look fat in my clothes. I probably go out in public once, maybe twice a year since then. My best friend is really tiny, she's about 5'5 and weighs 96 pounds, maybe. So I feel really self conscious when I'm around her. She's lost about 11 pounds in the past year or so. So I wonder maybe she has the same weight issue, too? Anyways, I've tried eating healthy, but everytime I eat I go into this breakdown. I can't say I've actually had a bf, maybe long distance..but that's about it. & I'm not saying I want a boyfriend, but lately I've been feeling like I'm missing out on being a teenager. I always see these girls talking and flirting with guys, and I get jealous. I want to be able to talk to a guy without wondering whether he thinks I look fat, or ugly. & of course everyone wonders about that stuff, and I'm positive people are in the same situation I'm in. I just want to know what I could possibly do to help me raise my self-esteem.
Please don't say anything like try talking to my parents about my feelings, or a school counselor, anybody like that.
I'd just like to know some ways that some of you increase your self-esteem. Like what gets rid of your stress, or some things you do that take your mind off things, anything around those areas..
Once again, sorry if this is long and confusing.

I know exactly how you feel. I've been doing karate for 7 years now... and I weigh 185 pounds. All my friends are really tiny, and my parents are always telling me how fat I am.

There's no point in trying to lose weight to please people. You're active and healthy, and it doesn't matter what other people think. I know it's hard to believe when you're in high school and everything is based on appearances, but it's true.

I found that pouring myself into karate really helped me with my self-esteem. Volunteer work is also a great way to feel good about yourself. It's not what's on the outside, it's what's on the inside that counts!

Q: My parents are coming over for dinner and I'm not sure what kind of music to play in the background. What's some good dinner music that sounds okay when played softly and that won't upset the relatives?"

Well, if you like jazzy sort of stuff, try Harry Connick Jr. He's got a great voice and it makes for great ambient music. Norah Jones is also a good choice.

Q: is head ache
light headedness
and dizziness when you stand up
symptoms you get from lack of food?
my mom thinks i don't eat enough
i think i might just be tired.

btw i ate today:
a light and fit yougurt
a hotdog with bun
a hotdog without a bun
and a pretzel

It may be not eating enough... it may also be a combination of that and an iron deficiency. Iron deficiency is very common in teenaged girls, and causes the symptoms you named.

Q: Well, I have decided that I do NOT want to masturbate. But it gets hard to control my hormones. Is there any way to help me keep my mind off of them or control them better? It would really help because I can't get to sleep because of them!

Thank you in advance.

Well, silly question. Is there any particular reason why you don't want to? It is a personal choice, and it's definitely up to you, but it is a perfectly healthy way to release pent-up sexual tension.

BUT, assuming that you are firm in your decision, try starting a new sport or some sort of physical activity. Burning off your steam with a strong workout will help you sleep!

Q: iam 18 yrs old.male. my problem is that i need around 10 hrs of sleep everyday.and sometimes even more than that.and ive heard that people of my age shoul not sleep for more than 7-8 hrs a day.ive tried doing that but then im not able to stop myself from having a nap in the afternoon. please advice on how to decrease "10-12" hrs to "7-8" hrs of sleep.

If you do feel a need to nap, try to restrict yourself to a 20-minute powernap. That's how my roommate and I made it through our first year of university! Sleeping for any longer than half an hour makes you more tired when you wake up.

Q: OK, heres the context. My girlfriend and I are dry humping. I have my pants unzipped with boxerbriefs underneath and shes wearing shorts with underwear underneath. As we usually do, we stop far short of either of us cumming, but she noticed a small wet spot on my boxer briefs. I identify it immediately as pre-cum and shrug it off. But she starts to panic a bit seeing as how its within the week period before her cycle and the chances of her getting pregnant are higher than usual. I've tried to console her telling here there is no chance that the amount of sperm could permeate through 3 layers of clothing and make it in to fertilize her, but she has doubts. Can someone please verify what i think which is the chances of this are so close to zero its not worth thinking about?

Well, this isn't really a "Cars" question... unless you're specifying location :P

There is sperm in pre-ejaculatory fluid, but yes, you are right, the chances of it going through 3 layers of clothing and making its way up to her fallopian tubes is extremely slim to nil.

She should have no worries!

Q: I like this guy named Eric but like hes supposably a "geek" in our school but I dont care. I just dont know what to do. I mean hes a really good friend of mine but what am I suppose to do just go up to him and be like i like you. Um no. Theres a semi coming up too and I really want to go with him.. but I dont know how that would happen. Im just confused and dont know what to do

The geeky ones are always the last to figure out that a girl likes them. This means you have to be a little less than subtle... let him know that you're interested in him!

Ask him to the semi, that's a good way to start...

And it's great that you don't discount him because he's a geek... because I'll let you in on a little secret: the geeky ones make the best boyfriends! They're more sweet and they realize what a treasure girls are, so they treat you better.

Q: Ive totally forgotten how to save documents to floppy disk! how do i do it?

When you're saving the document, go into File>SaveAs, and then at the top of the menu, you'll see a drop-down bar marked "Save In". By default, it will usually be set to "My Documents".

What you have to do is, with the floppy inserted, click on the drop-down menu and select the floppy disk.

Q: okay...
1.my friend nikki called me a bitch and started a "I HATE JC" club.
2.she called me a bitch again, then said that she was sorry, and that it would never happen again.
3.i tell her that i'm too big a bitch to continue to be her friend, and get her to cry.
4.told out by most of my friends and people at school that i don't even like.
5.my crush helps me out by talking with me
6.lost 10 of my friends in 1 day

NEED MAJOR HELP!!! will rate good answers

Drama like this happens ALL the time in high school. I know it's hard to do, but just move on with life! The friends who are worth keeping will stay with you. It doesn't matter if you have lots of friends, just that the ones you have are good quality!

She was entirely immature; starting up an "I hate JC" club? How old is she, eight? You did the right thing by distancing yourself from people like this.

Good luck!

Q: you know that sort of prickly sensation you get when a foot or hand, or any other part of you 'falls asleep'? is there any way to make it get that feeling without not moving it for a while? preffereably in the arm. thank you in advance. xx ill rate. :)

The question is, why are you trying to numb your arm?

It is not healthy to induce numbness, as it involves cutting off blood supply to the limb, which if done for extended periods of time could damage tissue.

Q: im a 15yr/female and ive gots a problem.
i am in a 32 A bra size and i get made fun of because of it.(Except by my boyfriend)...well, when im at school everyone says that they wouldnt go out with me because i basicley have no boobs....know when my boyfriend tries to kiss me there i get nervous and i back away because of my boob size. what should i do? how can i make my boobs bigger? will people like me more then?

No, people won't like you more if your breasts are larger... I know guys who make fun of large breasts! People will make fun of other people no matter what.

People will accept you when you accept yourself! Just think of it this way; you don't have to wear a bra, you can wear pretty much whatever you want! I'm a 38D/36DD and it's miserable. I can't even find nice bras to wear!

Remember that everyone's different, and to just be comfortable in your own skin. You'll likely grow and develop as you get older, so don't worry about it.

Q: I really want to quit smoking ciggeretts..
Any ideas on how I can quit without
the patch ?

Try getting your hands on as much anti-smoking information as you can... the more gruesome the pictures, the better! That should be the primary reason for you to quit, and so seeing what it can do to your body is a good reason to keep at it.

Another good thing to do is take the money you would be spending on cigarettes, and put it away; at the end of the month, spend it on something fun!

Q: ok i keep getting these emails from Chase saying my chase bank account has been violated...the only problem is I dont have a chase bank account. Im not even old enough to have a bank account! IM 13! I suspect phishing becuase I got like 6 emails from them at the same time once saying someone tried to acsess my account, and then the first one I got from them saying my account has been violated, they spelled "been" wrong. I have yahoo, and i flagged all the emails I got. What else can I do? I have gotten a phishing email before, from someone claiming to be from eBay. ♥♥&heart;s

I've been getting the same ones... all I'm doing is reporting them and ignoring them... eventually whoever is sending them out will be caught.

Q: Well, the other day me and 3 of my girl mates were out in town and had been to the cinema with 4 of the really cool guys at school. I was quite surprised that they liked hanging out with us cos we're not popular. We're not unpopular, we're just sort of ..... normal.
Anyway, it was after the film and we were all just hanging out in town and it was all going well, until tons of the popular girls from school turned up.
3 of the guys ditched us (the other one wanted to stay hanging out with us) and went off with the cool girls.
Its just, how can i be like them?
Like, they're just so ...... effortlessly cool, if you know what I mean?
All the popular girls dont have to do anything, they just seem so casual, and they dont go after the guys or anything.
How can I be like that?
Please dont say be myself cos if i was totally myself then I would act really weird. If you're popular and you do anything strange then everyone laughs with you.
If you're unpopular and you do anything just slightly strange then everyone looks at you like you're a total weirdo.
I know you're probably thinking that I shouldnt bother with these guys, or being like the cool people cos they dont seem very nice, but i'd just really like to be so effortlessly cool.
So, how can i be like that, effortlessly cool?

Who cares if you're slightly strange? I know my friends and I ended up somehow being a "cool group" but we're really weird!

I know that in high school, it seems like you have to conform to make friends and be cool... but if that's not you, then it's not cool at all!

You don't want to be just a mindless clone, because in the end, it's who you really are that counts.

Q: This is my story:I have this guy friend who i've known for 3 years but we used to hate each other before we made out and well the other night he came over to my friends house and he brought a friend too and well him and my friend were kinda hooking up but he kissed me and we werer really wasted so i didn't know what i was doing and the next thing i moticed was the lights were out and i was dry humping with him.... does that make me a slut and could i get pregnate from that????

Well, it doesn't make you a slut, but it definitely means that you should watch carefully how much you drink. It's never good to get to the point where you're not sure what you're doing. But no, you're not a slut.

You can't get pregnant from dry-humping, as long as no semen got in contact with your vulva. It's very safe :)

Q: theres this girl in my class and shes so concited and shes always saying how cute and skinny and pretty she is and the thing is that shes not she's mad ugly and shes not cute and her belly hangs out her shirts and ppl think shes so "hot" what she say... im soooo close to snapping at her and just telling her off and just telling her like it is each day i have to bite my lip not to say n e thing but i know its gonna come out..what would be the best thing to do?

and its hard to ignore it i tried it wont work

help me figure this out before i end up telling her off

Tune her out, if it bothers you so much.

Why does it matter to you if she thinks she looks amazing? Maybe she genuinely does think she is gorgeous, in which case, props to her for going beyond what the social standards say, and seeing her beauty for what it is.

She does sound a little over-conceited, but oh well. You can't change everyone, so let her be who she is, and go on with your life :)

bio

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.