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being cool
Well, the other day me and 3 of my girl mates were out in town and had been to the cinema with 4 of the really cool guys at school. I was quite surprised that they liked hanging out with us cos we're not popular. We're not unpopular, we're just sort of ..... normal.
Anyway, it was after the film and we were all just hanging out in town and it was all going well, until tons of the popular girls from school turned up.
3 of the guys ditched us (the other one wanted to stay hanging out with us) and went off with the cool girls.
Its just, how can i be like them?
Like, they're just so ...... effortlessly cool, if you know what I mean?
All the popular girls dont have to do anything, they just seem so casual, and they dont go after the guys or anything.
How can I be like that?
Please dont say be myself cos if i was totally myself then I would act really weird. If you're popular and you do anything strange then everyone laughs with you.
If you're unpopular and you do anything just slightly strange then everyone looks at you like you're a total weirdo.
I know you're probably thinking that I shouldnt bother with these guys, or being like the cool people cos they dont seem very nice, but i'd just really like to be so effortlessly cool.
So, how can i be like that, effortlessly cool?
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Karen has a really good point. See I know the yearn to be popular because well.....somehow I went from freak to popular. But see we always look so happy and stuff but really life being popular is way harder then just normal. Like Karen says emotional breakdowns happen alot. See, I am the best friend to the most popular girl in school and IN school she looks like a fashion princess, a tease, a flirt, and she looks like the luckiest and happiest person on Earth BUT out of school her parents are split up, she crys all the time, she says how everyone is so lucky that their not her, and she cant stand acting so happy at school. When I was just normal me or any of my friends were like that. See we TRY to make it like there is no effort involved in being popular but seriously this place in life envolves tons of tears and dissapointment. There are some good things but really.......not many. Plus remember the guys you wrote about, well see guys like that are jerks. Trust me! I know them so much its not even funny. And I see what you mean about the doing something strange your either a bag of laughs or a weirdo but there is no clear reason why. I know your going to get mad at this but you are very correct in that like if the guys that are considered popular its soo much fun to watch but I guess when I see someone whos not then it looks like their trying to get attention. I know thats mean but its true. If you want to find out how I became efortlessly cool (though its hard) just drop me a question. Im sorry other advice columist I know you must all hate me right now but you do want a bit of an answer and ive alrady warned her. I think the how to thing should be answered in private.
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Personally, I'm not popular, but I'm around popularity. Some of my old best-friends were extremely popular. It's nothing you really want to be a part of. It's all deception and backstabbing. None of them are actually effortlessy cool. They put on a happy face, and do what everyone wants them to do to fit in. I've seen so many girls breakdown because they can't fake themselves anymore.
I know you don't want me to say be yourself, but that's what you do have to do. Just be your normal self. People can see when you're trying to be someone you're not, and most people don't like that.
I'm not sure how old you are, but in highschool you find that a lot of the popular kids drink, smoke, and/or do drugs. Peer pressure is the strongest in those groups. If they discard you for being you... is that something you really want to be a part of?
-Karen-
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why dont you try being friends with the cool people it will boost your self-esteme up and if that doesnt work out then be cool in your own way who cares what you think there are not a lot of punk kids in my school so me and my friends are not the coolest people but we love who we are and will never change even if it is for the coolest person in the school :]
hope i helped
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When I was in high school, I was an "art kid". I wasn't Miss Popularity, but I was within the cool sphere. What I witnessed, as someone who rarely conformed to what or who was in or out, is something that proves my point. My freshmen/ sophomore year, everybody was thug. All the cool white boys were running around with the few black kids in our school, dressing like them, talking like them. I remember seeing my friend Cody with his baggy pants, untied shoes, and heavy chain with a No Limit Soldiers pendant. I picked it up off his chest and laughed at him. I was disappointed in him for being so fake. My junior/senior year the trend had changed. Now all my "cool" friends were cowboys and farmers and the black boys got dropped. Suddenly all the unpopular farmers sons in our school got noticed. They were given nick names like "Wild Bill" and went out with the cheerleaders. The quarterback drove someone's tractor to school. It was insanity.It was also hilarious. I knew I wasn't a thug or a cowgirl nor had I ever been, and I wasn't going to pretend... There's nothing wrong with individuality. Love that you're not "effortlessly" BORING like those girls. The same goes for those guys. They only wear or do what they think they're supposed to as the "cool kids". Those boys ran off with those girls because thats what they were supposed to do. The one that didn't probably has more confidence than all of them and you put together. He's cool because he does what he wants to do.
They can't be all the same, and yet they pretend to be. In that way you could really feel sorry for them. Its not being who you are, its being happy with who you are. Stop letting them make you feel inferior because you're different. Thats really what keeps you from being "cool".
Shade
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Actully you do have to be yourself. Even though if your personality is strange and people might make fun of you. Well if you start to stick p for your self and don't care what people think about you then things might get better. Also be alot more social. Talk to those guys ask them to hang out and maybe even they will invite you soon to hang out with the other grils and them. Just show all those people how fun and that you arnt scared of anyone. Hope i helped.
♥ jackie
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Who cares if you're slightly strange? I know my friends and I ended up somehow being a "cool group" but we're really weird!
I know that in high school, it seems like you have to conform to make friends and be cool... but if that's not you, then it's not cool at all!
You don't want to be just a mindless clone, because in the end, it's who you really are that counts.
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Those girls aren't effortlessly cool, they just seem that way to people on the outside. Really they have their insecurites and problems like everyone else.
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