I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
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For the past 5 months...or in fact more, I haven't been attracted to any guys.
I'm straight, so it's not like that, but I mean I talk to a lot of guys, a lot of them cute and everything, but I don't like like anyone.
This bothers me because I'd love to have a boyfriend I could spend time with. But I don't.
Arrhh. What the hell is going on with me?
15/F (link)
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Having feelings for somebody can take time, they won't just appear out of thin air on the very spot. Your hormones aren't probably raging at the moment but that's normal as well.
Just keep on doing what your doing, but don't force yourself to like somebody, not saying that you would but if you did. Forcing yourself to like somebody, is most likely to make the relationship fall apart and not work. Waiting for you to fall in love with a certain person will also, not work.
Take life to the full and just wait until you have these... incredible feelings for this one person. Feelings which make you want to spend the rest of your lives together, feelings which always come whenever your with that person or just thinking about that person, feelings which makes you feel as if you've got butterflies in your stomach. You get the idea (how do I know this? I've had them before when I was in love).
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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15f
i have one friend and we're inseparable. except she's not really friends with the clique i'm in with these three other girls, with whom i'm going trick-or-treating with because our costumes match.
i am, in fact, pretty much closer with that girl than the three other girls, but since they invited me to do the costume-matching with them, and i didn't have any prior plans, i said i'd do it with them.
i don't want my other friend to ask me what my plans are for halloween in case she expects me to do something with her. i'd feel really badly because i would rather hang out with her for the night or go trick-or-treating with her. i can't bail out on my three friends, either. and i'm not even sure whether my other friend has other plans with other people. (if she does, then there's no problem cause she can go with her friends and i can go with mine).
so what i'm asking is, i don't want my friend to be mad at me and feel as though i'm "replacing" her because i would feel that way if she said that to me. i have to match costumes with those three girls and go trick-or-treating with them, otherwise it would look weird.
if my other friend does ask me if i have plans, what should i say? i don't think this is a big deal at all, and i don't want it to become a big deal (which it might if she gets mad at me). i know i should be honest and tell her the truth, but how can i make it upto her? i don't think it would make her feel better if i said "but next year we can do something" because neither of us will remember, even if we stay friends.
would it be possible to do the costume-matching with them but go trick-or-treating with her? i KNOW i'd have more fun going with her as opposed to those girls, and then THOSE girls might feel like i let them down, especially since we matched costumes and all.
i didn't intend for this to become a big deal, but it might be unless i explain to my friend that they wanted to do it and i chose to go along with it. those girls pretty much assumed that i'd do it with them since we always hang out and such.
what do you think i should do?
(please don't lecture me about how my friend is not a real friend because she may get mad at me. she is my real friend and i would get mad at her too if she did that to me. she may not get as mad if i explain to her the situation before she even asks if i have halloween plans)
options:
(a) match with my three other friends and go trick-or-treating with them, making a separate compromise to my other friend.
(b) match with my three other friends and go trick-or-treating with my other friend, hoping that my other three friends would understand. (my other friends are, in my eyes, a little bit more understanding than my other friend, although they would be a little hurt if i bailed out on trick-or-treating with them)
(c) explain to my friend the situation before she even asks me if i have halloween plans so that she does not feel as though i was trying to ignore her from finding out.
(d) other. (link)
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Edit:
Ah, okay. Well in that case, I would say that you should go out with your friend. Why? Because your other three friends have got each other for the evening to have fun, whilst your friend doesn't. I admire that you want to spend equal amounts of time between the two groups but unfortunately, one party always tends to feel a little left out. So, go with the one whom doesn't have anybody to go with, which in this case, is your friend. As you say, your other three friends are a little more understanding so I'm sure that they'll be fine.
Forget the matching just for the evening. Have fun with your friend. There'll be plenty of other times to have fun with your other three friends. You just need to hang out with her for the evening.
I hope this helped (again!),
triquetra
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Me and my boyfriend have been together 11 months, and I love him more than anything. We've both just gone to university and we're 200 miles apart. Last night, I got very, very, very drunk and was taken advantage of by a stranger. I know it's no excuse, but it explains why it happened - I am not normally ever like this. Even if my boyfriend wasn't an issue, I would still be incredibly upset about what happened, being taken advantage of in that way. I've never had a one-night-stand before, even single.
Today I missed my first day of lectures to go up to talk to my boyfriend about this. Understandably he is absolutely devastated, and destroyed - but he says as he loves me, we can stay together and give it a go. He's very negative though and I just want to know whether anyone has ever been in a relationship, one person cheated and the relationship kept going. I regret this more than anything else I've ever done and I would do absolutely anything to make it better. Thank you for any answers I receive. (link)
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Okay, let's get a few things straight here:
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT THAT YOU WERE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF.
As for the relationship to continue, I think it will because of one thing: the love which you've got for each other. If I were you, I would talk to him about it and see why he's being so negative... okay, the reason is kinda obvious, but you need to help the both of you get through this.
Don't hold onto what happened, to what happened to you, it is now a thing of the past, now you need to focus upon the two of you together as a couple, and as a couple, I believe that you can get through this and have a long relationship. Just talk it out between the two of you.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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ok, this guy and i have known each other for about 3 years. we met on myspace through a third party but only officially met this weekend. over the years we've been friends but only started gettin pretty close a couple months ago. he lives about an hour and a half or a little less away from me, and came down to see me friday night and i went to see him yesterday and hung out with his friends and family. im 17, and he's 19. saturday is my birthday. and im not doing a damn thing, which is pretty pitiful for an 18th birthday. friday night his family/neighbors are having a party/get together and he asked me to come and celebrate my birthday with them. the problem is he wants me to stay the night [not just me, most of the people that will be there are]. now running this by my mom is gonna be WAY difficult. he and i do like each other, but in keep in mind that we're not going to be do ANYTHING sexual, other than like kiss. im a pretty modest person and i do have standards for myself, im not some sleeze and he's not all after that. im still a virgin.. i was raised to not be a hoe and my mom knows this. im not one who says that and then gets caught up in the moment & it happens anyway. no, i know where the stopping point is. ive been in the situation before and nothings ever happened. my mom trusts me and lets me do just about anything i want to. but shes very uptight about me stayin over at a guys house, even if its just a friend or for a party or whatever. i'd have to get up at like 8 am the next morning and leave for work anyway, so yeah. his family drinks, their like the social drinkers. im not a big drinker, but you know. i hate the taste of alcohol honestly. so the point is nothing bad would happen. but i still think my mom wont go for it even though im turning 18. i really want to see him bc like i said i do like him and hes in the army so hes not home much. i have two options here.. either tell my mom the whole honest truth and hope she says yes which is doubtful, and miss my chance to hangout with him and be bored on my birthday, or say im staying the night at a friends and then go down to where he lives, but i'd feel really bad about lying about something like that. i dont know, any advice? (link)
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If your mum has trusted you this far, I see no reason as to why she shouldn't trust you when you go over for a sleepover. You're a big girl now and can take care of yourself. You know were to stop and you've done it on a separate occasion so that should be enough for your mum to trust you.
And besides, you're going to be spending the night with other people around and not with just him. And since you're not a big drinker, I don't think that there will be much of you getting drunk and things getting out of control. And since it's with the family, I don't think that much will happen.
Speaking of which, it's a family get-together, so there is definitely not going to be anything going on and you both know what to do or not what to do.
I see no point in lying, because either way, your mum will find out and will probably give you a hard time. Tell her that you'd just like to hang out with him and just meet his family for your birthday and just have some fun. Say all which I've written above to her if she says no and try and persuade her gently.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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what are possible reasons for me to be in constant fear! not worry just pure fear! like i am scared! my body is reacting to it yet i can't seem to figure out why!! (link)
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When did this fear begin? Or when did you begin to notice it?
I ask because evidently, you've experienced something which has left a mark on you and you're constantly worried about it, even though you don't know what it is.
This is going to be an odd question but when you sleep, have you had an peculiar dreams lately? I again ask because dreams are a way in which we see what we experience or what we feel, so I'm just wondering whether anything you've dreamt has caused you to feel fear or have you seen anything which keeps on coming up in your dreams. If not, don't worry.
To deal with, for now, all I can say is that you need to believe in yourself, and believe that you're the stronger one, and nothing can harm you in any way, not even this fear.
Another way in which I can think of to calm you down would be to meditate.
Sit in a chair which has got a straight back rest, close your eyes, ensure that your feet and the same width as your shoulder, place your hands on your lap and with your head facing forward and just relax.
Take deep breathes and as you breathe out, feel all the pressures, the fears of the day just leave you.
Relax the muscles in your face, arms, legs, neck and back whilst taking your deep breathes.
Focus on your breathing, and empty your mind and one way to do this would be say a small mantra in time with your breathes (maranatha):
Breathe in - "Mara..."
Breathe out - "...natha"
Listen to the silence around you, if there is a noise, don't try and block it out, just let it flow by. Do it as long as you wish.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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my mother said that when my cousin left her moms house she was 16 years old and her mom tried to call the cops and they couldn't force her to come home they could suggest it but they couldnt legally make her leave because she moved it with a friend and she had a roof over her head, food to eat and she wasnt in any danger.. now i heard the legal age to do this was 18 .. this happened in CT when my cousin was 16 she is now 23 my question is.. did they change the age? or is it still 16 ( she did not emancipate herself so thats not it ) (link)
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I'm not sure if you mean Connecticut, but here's a link which should help:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/At_what_age_can_you_move_out_of_your_home_in_Connecticut
And others from this same site:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/FAQ/629
I hope these help,
triquetra
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I'm a 16 year old female. I've always had an obsession with curiosity, but it hasn't become apparent to me until the past year or so. Every odd thing people can be into, I need to research, whether or not I agree with their views. This ranges from sexual preferences, to religious preferences (why people choose Satanism over Christianity), to reasons for cutting and suicide. The more I research to find myself, the more I find that I have problems. No one else thinks the ways I do. I feel like a lost outcast. I cut when I feel depressed to find myself. I think it makes me feel like I have control over my life. But every time I cut, the deeper it gets. And every time I more seriously consider suicide. I need help.
I can't even talk to my parents about it. They're so judgmental, they'd mark me as a lunatic. There's no possible way for me to get a psychologist, although I know I should get one. I don't need reasons on why not to do suicide, I need reasons to feel like I'm not alone. I need to find out my problem to cure myself of it. Bluntly, I just feel so lost, and I need help.
Thank you. (link)
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I suggest that you don't try and research everything which comes your way, because by the sounds of it, it's doing more harm than good.
I would also suggest that you talk to a school counsellor, if yours has one, or to a teacher. NOT to a friend, because the only thing which they can do is to just tell a teacher or their parents about it and then that'll just make things more complicated. With a school counsellor, they keep all that you talk about private unless it is life threatening. They can really listen to anybody and be very helpful and just talk with you.
Of course no one else thinks the way that you do: everybody thinks differently, we're all different. True, there are some cases where that person thinks along the same lines, but not exactly the same.
I think that your problem is that you read things, and then get depressed because you're not exactly like that or you're like that and you just cut yourself.
So, cliff notes version:
Go and talk to a counsellor and see what he/she says (they're usually free) and take it to the next step.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Does anyone know any good songs for your best friend? something good, but not corney. If anyone can think of one that has a really nice meaning behind the actual song that would be great! It would also be good if the song was like alternative/punk too. Thank you! (link)
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Anytime You Need A Friend - Mariah Carey
I'll Be There - Mariah Carey
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I didnt mean for any of this to happen. I wish none of it had... but it did okay well hmm ok i will call them max and dane. Okay so I am perfectly happy and loveing my life completley in love with my boyfriend dane me and dane have been together for quite a while when I meet max and i begin to like him to me and he likes me well we became great friends but i decided i didnt wwant anything bad to happen and i was getting to close to max and i dont want to breakup with dane so i made a mistake and told max i didnt want to be friends anymore and i hated him and that i wanted him to hate me but i lost him and i know i shouldnt but i wamnt to at least befriends with him and he wont answer th ephone so i keep emailing him and saying im sorry but he wont say anything back, but then i still love dane and he has no idea about max. what hsuold i do? (link)
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Saying that you don't want to be friends with Max, and then saying sorry really wasn't the best way to do this. I would go to his house and apologize to him in person, e-mailing and texting are good and all, but they don't mean anything unless the person says it directly. And tell as to why you suddenly broke away from him in the way that you did (i.e. you were scared that you would fall in love with him and leave Dane).
I don't think that there is any need to tell Dane about this. This little episode doesn't really affect him, it's only about you and Max.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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So I'm currently dating a guy and he is absolutely wonderful. He has so many qualities that I look for in a guy and then some. Anyone from the outside looking in would think that we make a good couple. However, there is something inside of me that has me questioning a lot of things. I don't know why, but something, and I'm not quite sure what it is, doesn't feel right.
Could this feeling be my instincts telling me that something isn't right, or do many people feel this way when they believe they've found "the one."
PLEASE help! I need insight! (link)
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I'm going to take a guess and say that you're having these 'questions' because you're worried that you'll get hurt if the relationship doesn't work out. And you're wondering whether he's too good to be true.
It's hard to tell you exactly what your feelings are telling you, since we can't feel them, but the above is my best guess as to why you having these questions. I would just say, let the relationship take its course and you'll find out sooner enough.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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i dated my ex for 9 months we broke up 3 months ago..i never wanted to break up with her she just wanted some space and figure things out in her life...after we broke up she stopped wearing her promise ring...this past week she called me and i basically poured my heart out to her about everything..telling her i wanna be with her i miss her and all that..so she tells me she would like to work things out but take it a step at a time...she told me give her time she will come around...saturday we hung out for a lil bit and she was wearing the ring i got her...so ever since monday i havnt heard from her ive been texting her i called her twice..i just really need advice on what to do and if things look good between us and if things would work...i really would like a girls opinion but anyone feel free to answer (link)
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Give her more space to breathe. You constantly calling and texting her is probably making it more difficult for her to come to a decision about the two of you.
Considering the fact that she is wearing her promise ring (which you presumably gave to her) and she wants to work things about between the two of you is a good sign that things may work out.
The important thing which both of you can do is to ensure that the things which forced the two of you to break up before don't happen again.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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So simply put;
I am a 16 year old girl.
Can I be in love? (link)
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Yes. You can be in love at any age.
triquetra
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Does the special k cereal really work for you to lose weight?
(link)
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Definitely!!! I wouldn't be recommending it to people if I didn't know that it worked!!!
triquetra
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I'm currently volunteering at my local hospital and working on an event for National Eating Disorders Awareness (I'm the chairperson). My main goal in life is to help others, do you know any other ways that I can do so? (link)
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Well, you know like being part of other charities who've got very good causes, being part of local fund raisers for charities. Or you can become an advice columnist!! Seriously!! For me, there's nothing better in helping somebody who can be on the other side of the world, never meeting them and just knowing that somehow, you've helped them in some small or large way and it's very rewarding... the pay may be nothing, but the feeling of helping somebody else compensates for it!!!
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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One of my best friends has just told me she is pregnant and that they are definately keeping the baby. She is 18 years old and doesn't have a job. The guy she is dating is 19, has a minimum wage job, and is attending college part-time. They live 30 minutes away from each other--him with a couple of roommates in an apartment and her with her parents in their house. They are very much in love, but they're afraid because they don't know what they are going to do or how they are going to make it with a baby.
My best friend HAS to start college full-time soon in order to stay on her mother and father's insurance.
They weren't ready to have a baby at all. They are both still teenagers! This was unexpected and they are pretty nervous. They know this is going to be hard and that they made a very bad choice in having sex, but they also know that they have to deal with this consequence the right way.
They are wanting to move in together but I told my best friend it doesn't sound like the wisest thing to do with the baby on the way and no secure jobs. I'm not sure how to help them and they really need some advice on what to do and how to do about starting a family. I want to be a good friend, be there for them, and help them through this.
They want my advice on what to do exactly and I don't know what to say! I'm the only person they have told and my best friend is really looking for helpful support from me. Can anyone help me give them advice on how to make this situation work into something they can deal with? (link)
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Here is a link to a very useful website which I found:
http://www.moneybasics.co.uk/financial-planning/new-baby.html
Hopefully, that should be able to answer all of your questions
I hope it helps,
triquetra
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My ex-best friend is getting married and I have been invited to the wedding through a series of undesirable events.
I have decided to attend the wedding; although, I do not believe my ex-best friend wanted me to at first (until I confronted her about it). She did eventually invite me herself so I feel it is a nice gesture to attend the wedding. I do want to show her that I was a good friend and go to her wedding appropriately.
I am wondering what would be appropriate to purchase as a wedding gift for her and her husband. I really need advice on this as I've never attended a wedding in my entire life.
She is almost 22 and will be marrying a guy that is 25. They have been seeing each other for a year and he actually proposed two months ago. The wedding is in late October 2008 and is autumn themed (even the wedding flowers will be in autumn colors). They have been living together in her house for about 9 months now with their two small dogs.
They both like to gun and bow hunt (deer and turkey) so he will be wearing a camouflaged tux (tacky, I know). They both drink heavily; however, I will not be purchasing them alcohol or alcohol related things. He works as a coal miner. She works at Lowe's. They are not virgins, sadly, but neither have children. I am uncertain if they will be honeymooning, but there will definately be wedding reception. Their house is paid for, and has been for years, so they really aren't lacking appliances or anything of that sort.
I am simply looking for nice wedding gifts. I really have no idea what is an appropriate wedding gift to give her and her new husband, but I am certain that I want to purchase a wedding gift for them even though we are no longer friends. I don't even know how much to spend on a wedding gift for my former best friend!
I am up for any and all ideas! (link)
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Considering this description, it was hard for me to think of something, but here are the results of a Google search and they should be able to help you out:
http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=wedding+presents+ideas+for+her&btnG=Search&meta=
And one other site:
http://www.wedopersonalisedgifts.co.uk/
I hope this wedding goes well,
triquetra
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my stupid little big mouthed sister had to ask my mom "who was j. percy priest?" the other day and so my mom's all "why dont we let _____ look it up?" (obviously meaning me)
-.-''
so nooooww i have a one page report on j. percy priest due. problem is, i looked him up on google and all that came up was about the dam and the lake. but that wont help me at all.
does anyone know i good website i could get some info on j. percy priest ASAP??? thanks. (link)
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._Percy_Priest
http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=James+Percy+Priest&btnG=Search&meta=
You typed in 'J. Percy Priest' on Google right? Well, you had to type in his full name to get the person, 'James Percy Priest'.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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How do Christians deal with what they consider inappropriate sexual urges? I am a teenage girl and I have desires that I know are wrong to fulfill until I am married, and because I am Christian and believe the word of God.
For example:
Desires for a person that a Christian is not married to.
Desires for a person who is not Christian.
Desires for a person who is of the same gender.
I understand that I cannot make the sexual urges suddenly go away since they have to do with hormones and maturing, but how can I keep them under control as a Christian? I love God and I do not want to disrespect Him or my body by giving into sexual desires in this inappropriate time.
I want to be the best Christian I can be and I know that means controlling myself when it comes to sexual activity. Are there ways to limit these desires to very infrequent times or are they something I cannot lessen no matter what?
I am also considering speaking to my pastor about this problem but I would like to know if that is appropriate to do in the first place.
Any advice is appreciated! (link)
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Well, let's get one things straight first: not all Christians 'deal' with their sexual urges. On the contrary, they live life to the full whilst still following the word of God.
Being attracted to somebody is something which is incredibly natural and still something incredibly hard to control. When you love somebody (like real, real love), then it is so hard to put those emotions aside and put God first, because then you either loose the one whom you love forever, or you lessen you connection with God slightly. You can't lessen what you feel for others, they're just there. You can't really control as to how you feel about somebody: you either love 'em as a friend or more than that or you just don't.
You can still be a good Christian, but let yourself live life first. You've got complete control over whether you want to have sex or not, it's completely up to you. You can have a boyfriend as well.
The problem is, is that if you want to get married, you've got to live out your emotions to the full. Nowadays, you've got to have the same love which the person who loves you has got and the more difficult bit is finding somebody who thinks along the same lines as you do. Most unfortunately for some, the 21st century isn't exactly the easiest century to be a good christian with all that goes on around us everyday.
I don't think that talking to your pastor will help in anyway more than what I've just written. But you can still talk to him and see what he says: his word over mine.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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i am in college and i took so many courses which i can't drop (because i need them and aren't offered next sem and i graduate) i have never done this before! any advice on how to go through with this! i am sooooo worried that i'll fall behind! how do i keep track of everything! i have 6 theory coursesssss! (link)
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Okay, first of all, you need to divide your time equally between your courses, so you spend equal amount of time on each. I suggest two courses per night, however you long you wish to spend on the two. But be sure to take breaks, if not, you'll work yourself to exhaustion and we don't want that now do we?
Do the homework set on the day in which it is set, not two-three days afterwards, otherwise, the work load will begin to grow.
And also at weekends, relax and enjoy yourself. Don't feel that you should be burdened with work 24/7.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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This is the persuassive essay I has to write for language. Please grade this on a scale from 1 to 4. Please base this on a 8th grade level. Please criticise this essay, and help me make it better. Thank you in advanced. Also, just because I wrote about this topic, does not necisarily mean i believe what I wrote. And, please do not tell me my statistics are wrong because my teacher told us to lie about nthem, as long as they sound believeable. yes i know....weird
Television….Helpful or Harmful
Television is not really what you think it is. Television has little educational value. Television promotes violence, certain styles of clothing, and that affects the way you think. It gives you a reason to not exercise or eat right, which ends in health issues. It causes children to rebel, or beg their parents to buy items that the commercials showed.
The shows or commercials you see on television usually affect your actions, and the way you think. Boys who watch their favorite action shows are packed with fighting and violence. They cause them to think and act differently. Dr. Rodman, a licensed child psychologist, took a 12 year old boy named Charles, who had never watched any television in his whole life, and showed him 3 television shows packed with violence. When Charles came home, he took his little sister’s Barbie dolls and ripped off the heads. Girl’s who watch their favorite pop stars or “idols” on TV usually end up speaking and dressing like them. “My child came home and asked me to buy her a new wardrobe so she would be just like the girl on TV”, says Tessa Jones, mother of 2 children. Girls these days are becoming more aggressive, due to the latest news on television about famous stars. Television is affecting the minds and behavior of boys and girls.
In addition to changing your thoughts and behavior, people are getting unhealthy from TV watching and lack of exercise. The commercials on TV 3 out of 5 times talk about food, which causes children and adults to eat while watching television. Television gives people an excuse to not exercise.2 out of 3 people in America are overweight due to television watching and television commercials that promote eating. Dr. Drakeson, author of Kids Usa, states that kids watch more television, thank homework, exercise, and eating all together. Television is causing major health problems.
Not only does Television lead to unhealthiness, but television commercials also put down certain styles of clothing, pressure you to listen to a certain style of music, or pressure you into buying a product. Only 5 out 30 commercials talk about rejecting drugs,
pier pressure, or alcohol, while the others talk about wearing the “right” clothing, listening to the “cool” music. The commercials make children feel like they have to say and have the right things. Television commercials cause parents to feel pressured to buy the items that their children want. There are many commercials on television. Some are helpful, however most of them harmful to you in some type of way.
Some might argue that people who do not have a phone or newspaper, need the television to watch the news, to keep up on what is happening around the world, however, at the moment only 1 out of 5 show on television are actually news channels, in addition to that, the news mostly talks about gossip, or the latest buzz.
Personally, I believe television has little educational value and is harmful to any person who watches it in some way. The things on television affect the behavior of people and the way you think. People are getting more unhealthy from watching television. Television commercials are pressuring people to buy things, or change something about themselves, or the way they live their lives. If you do not want to be unhealthy, or be pressured into changing yourself, or pressured into buying what people may think is the “right” thing to buy, then cut down, or completely cut television out of your lives today. (link)
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It's a really good argument, but there are a few things which I'd like to bring to your attention:
Charles - I notice that this is only one child who was tested like this and no other children. Considering the fact that he's never watched TV before, he wouldn't know the difference between the show and reality, so naturally, he would think that it was fine to do that. And think about it: a 12 year old and never watched TV??? Where's he been brought up? In a cupboard?!?!? It is virtually impossible for him not to have watched TV in this day and age. A 3 year old maybe, but not a 12 year old!! For this kind of conclusion, you need to support it with other studies which've been done along the same lines.
The Girl's and their idols- I bet when you grew up, you had some idols whom you wanted to be like, right? If not well... In any case, most people have got a idol which they'd dream to be like. Why? Because they're having a life which only most of us can dream about. Dressing up/acting like that person helps us feel more connected to that person and helps us to feel more secure. I've never heard of girls becoming more aggressive just because of what their idol has done in the news. Maybe when there's a big sale on at some big clothes store, but not when they're idol has done something in the news.
TV has little educational value - Maybe during the evenings, but during the day, there can be some really good programs on such as documentaries, life stories etc. and yes, there can be the odd 'bad influence' on us but it really does all depend on what that person likes to watch. Nobody says we've got to listen to the commercials, or being pressurized into listen to that kind of music and so on and so forth. We have the choice to see and listen to them, there's no law saying that we've got to listen/watch.
I'm sorry, but no matter whoever tells me, I would never put in fake statistics. Even if the Pope himself came and told me directly to put in fake statistics I wouldn't put them in. I would like my essay to be as believable as possible so that would mean putting a hell of a lot of time to get those facts in and right or don't put them in at all.
And not ALL parents feel pressured to get what their children want to get, and if they do, that's only because they spoil their children rotten and the children feel as if they've got the right to order their parents around. The ones who say no are the parents who won't stand for this kind of behavior.
As for people being over weight, adults choose to be overweight, kids on the other hand don't. It's up to the parents to get their kid off his/her backside and walk around and get some excersise.
And I would also put in the other side of your argument as well. Why? Because of your title. Upon reading it, I assumed that there would be another side to the argument: "Helpful or Harmful" implies that there are four paragraphs in this essay: introduction, argument 1, argument 2 and THEN conclusion. Sticking to one argument and conclusion will not get you many marks at all. You need to make it balanced and fair.
If you want to make it believable, then you need to make yourself believe that what you're writing is what YOU believe. If you don't believe in it, then the people reading it won't. However, your ending does give me some indication that this is what you believe: so is it or isn't it?
Based on this, I'm doing to give this 2-2.5.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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