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my friend & my other friends
15f
i have one friend and we're inseparable. except she's not really friends with the clique i'm in with these three other girls, with whom i'm going trick-or-treating with because our costumes match.
i am, in fact, pretty much closer with that girl than the three other girls, but since they invited me to do the costume-matching with them, and i didn't have any prior plans, i said i'd do it with them.
i don't want my other friend to ask me what my plans are for halloween in case she expects me to do something with her. i'd feel really badly because i would rather hang out with her for the night or go trick-or-treating with her. i can't bail out on my three friends, either. and i'm not even sure whether my other friend has other plans with other people. (if she does, then there's no problem cause she can go with her friends and i can go with mine).
so what i'm asking is, i don't want my friend to be mad at me and feel as though i'm "replacing" her because i would feel that way if she said that to me. i have to match costumes with those three girls and go trick-or-treating with them, otherwise it would look weird.
if my other friend does ask me if i have plans, what should i say? i don't think this is a big deal at all, and i don't want it to become a big deal (which it might if she gets mad at me). i know i should be honest and tell her the truth, but how can i make it upto her? i don't think it would make her feel better if i said "but next year we can do something" because neither of us will remember, even if we stay friends.
would it be possible to do the costume-matching with them but go trick-or-treating with her? i KNOW i'd have more fun going with her as opposed to those girls, and then THOSE girls might feel like i let them down, especially since we matched costumes and all.
i didn't intend for this to become a big deal, but it might be unless i explain to my friend that they wanted to do it and i chose to go along with it. those girls pretty much assumed that i'd do it with them since we always hang out and such.
what do you think i should do?
(please don't lecture me about how my friend is not a real friend because she may get mad at me. she is my real friend and i would get mad at her too if she did that to me. she may not get as mad if i explain to her the situation before she even asks if i have halloween plans)
options:
(a) match with my three other friends and go trick-or-treating with them, making a separate compromise to my other friend.
(b) match with my three other friends and go trick-or-treating with my other friend, hoping that my other three friends would understand. (my other friends are, in my eyes, a little bit more understanding than my other friend, although they would be a little hurt if i bailed out on trick-or-treating with them)
(c) explain to my friend the situation before she even asks me if i have halloween plans so that she does not feel as though i was trying to ignore her from finding out.
(d) other.
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I agree with the other answer...
Go with your friend...You'll fell so much more comfortable and have more fun...! and you know you can trust her so things would'nt be awkward for ya...
:)
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Edit:
Ah, okay. Well in that case, I would say that you should go out with your friend. Why? Because your other three friends have got each other for the evening to have fun, whilst your friend doesn't. I admire that you want to spend equal amounts of time between the two groups but unfortunately, one party always tends to feel a little left out. So, go with the one whom doesn't have anybody to go with, which in this case, is your friend. As you say, your other three friends are a little more understanding so I'm sure that they'll be fine.
Forget the matching just for the evening. Have fun with your friend. There'll be plenty of other times to have fun with your other three friends. You just need to hang out with her for the evening.
I hope this helped (again!),
triquetra
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